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27 September 2015 Gemma Arterton vs Brooke Burns

Page history last edited by Vassago 8 years, 3 months ago

ANOTHER IFFI PROPOSITION AT THE ASYLUM

Posted by The Grand Wizard on September 27, 2015, 9:04 pm

BEFORE:

"It was great to get back into FCBA action against Ellison," says Brooke with a lovely smile, "And, while the results weren't what I wanted, at least it led to another fight. I'm excited about making my Asylum debut, and I'm going to show everyone tonight that I'm back and I plan to stay awhile."

"She's long and has a clever jab," says Gemma with a nod. "She can create problems with geometry in there. Fortunately, though, math was one of my best subjects."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Trying Not To Love You', by Nickleback, and here comes the star of that video, blonde, beautiful Brooke Burns..."

McCarthy: "I'm just going to record this on my phone and play it back every fight. Typical. Dancing. Hooker. Opponent. No. FCBA. Wins."

Tess: "But, she does have a win in the BBU..."

McCarthy: "She beat Canalis. Who, surprise, has no FCBA wins and also managed to lose George Clooney!"

Tess: "As I recall, lots of girls lost George Clooney..."

O'Dell: "If we can dispense with the 'E! News' stuff and concentrate on boxing, you'll note that Burns is into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a red bikini and a body that shows she's been doing plenty of working out for this fight. And, that's 'London Calling' by the Clash you hear, and that can only mean that 'The Gravesend Gladiator', Gemma Arterton, is on her way to the ring..."

Cassie: "Did you ever date Clooney, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Of COURSE not. If Clooney had dated me, he wouldn't have thrown me over for that mousey brunette he's married to now. Men don't dump blonde Playmates of the Century for brunette lawyers."

O'Dell(sighing): "So, truck, tell me when, exactly, this turned into an episode of 'Entertainment Tonight'. What's next? Are we going to talk about who Miley's dating and what Bieber's up to? Are we going to discuss Kardashian rumors?"

McCarthy: "Now calm DOWN, Jenny..."

O'Dell: "Someone put something in my Pepsi, didn't they? I'm hallucinating all of this. There's never been an Asylum event. None of this is real. But, just in case, Arterton into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that violet two-piece we've seen before in my acid-induced fantasies, and the ladies are about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess favors Gemma. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Again. No FCBA wins. Arterton."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "And, there's the bell. Burns popping out that long jab Gemma talked about, and you can immediately see why this could give a girl problems. She's got excellent reach and she can get that thing on target pretty well. Arterton keeping the hands up, bobbing the head, ducking, weaving, looking to slip by the glove..."

Tess: "Are these the terms you expect in this one, Mac? Burns wanting the distance and Gemma wanting to close?"

McCarthy: "Burns will want all the space she can get. Not sure if Arterton will want to go punch range or get in and bang. If I were training her, we'd bang with this girl, but, who knows what Weirdo and his loser trainers came up with..."

Cassie: "(cough) twohalloffamers (cough)..."

McCarthy: "Shut. It. Scabbo!"

O'Dell: "I have NO idea what kind of acid this is, but this trip just won't end. Burns effective with the jab so far. She's not preempting Gemma with it as much as slowing her down. That allows Brooke to circle out of true before Arterton can get her lined up..."

Cassie: "Burns not dancing or bouncing. Just a slow circle to her right, away from Gemma's power."

O'Dell: "Arterton stepping forward and getting off a nice combination. Burns responds with a right hand and circles back and right again. Tactical round on both sides, no surprise in the first. Final seconds ticking off and there's the bell. Close to Burns, who leads 10-9."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Back to work and Brooke back to that jab. Gemma bobbing the head, slipping past, hooks the body and bangs a straight right upstairs. Burns counters. Circles away behind that long left..."

McCarthy: "This isn't a bad strategy for Brooke. She doesn't want to trade with Gemma, of course. But, she needs to be a little more aggressive. She doesn't have to stand in front of her, but she needs to get some right hands on target. Hang in a little longer and get a power shot home."

O'Dell: "Might not be a bad idea. At the moment, though, it's mostly lefts from the blonde, who IS scoring with those. Gemma the one putting some punches together now, getting a flurry on target here or there. She's getting the geometry problems solved it looks like..."

Cassie: "Definitely does. And she's going to work on the body. No surprise. When you're as sturdy as Gemma, working the chassis is always a good idea, because yours is going to be able to take more punishment than hers..."

O'Dell: "Arterton not committing either way, though. Getting some body work done, and also working upstairs. Burns holding her own pretty well here, despite the slightly upped aggression from the brunette. Coming down the stretch in the second. Brooke a good right hand off the left and Gemma responds with a three-punch combination that backed Burns up a step. And there's the bell. Close round. Arterton."

Tess: "All even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Gemma turning the heat up just a bit more here in the third. She's coming forward, working body, backing Burns up. Brooke answering to the body in counter and LANDS ONE LOW! And she hurt Arterton with it!"

Cassie: "Definitely unintentional, Jenny, but the referee did not see it and Burns going to take advantage of this if she's smart..."

O'Dell: "She's smart. Brooke going all in immediately here, bombs away against Gemma, who's covering up in the center of the ring. Burns trying to find that one big shot on a target that's pretty stationary because she doesn't have any legs right now. Gemma in an earmuff, giving just a little ground, jabbing back in spots, but mostly just taking..."

McCarthy: "Referee may stop this thing if this continues. Arterton isn't doing much of anything..."

O'Dell: "Gemma backed to the ropes now, in a half-crouch, covering up, hooking some body to try to keep the referee away. Burns firing every gun in the arsenal, banging lefts and rights off the guard, getting some leather home, trying to finish those legs and pull a major upset here. Arterton clinching now, hooking body with the free hand. Twenty seconds to go. Burns shoves off and lands a good right. Gemma counters with a solid left hook. Ten seconds. Burns hooks to the body and then lands a right hand upstairs and there's the bell. Burns' round wide."

Tess: "And, she's back in the lead, 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth underway and Burns looking to build on the big third round. She's coming forward, but met with some heavy leather from Arterton, who stops the blonde cold and begins backing her up. Gemma on a mission right now, she's getting physical with Burns in a big way, letting the hands go, forcing her to retreat in a hail of leather..."

Cassie: "Looks like she got Gemma's attention with that low blow last round. It clearly wasn't intentional, but Arterton's clearly not happy, either."

O'Dell: "I'd say that's an understatement. There's absolutely nothing subtle about what's happening in there right now. This is Gemma getting big on Brooke in a big way. Arterton pinning Burns to the ropes. Brooke keeping the guard up, looking to counter punch, and GEMMA ROCKS HER WITH A BIG RIGHT HAND! Burns wobbled by that right and she's in trouble!"

Tess: "She was in trouble the minute that low blow landed, from the looks of things..."

O'Dell: "Brooke in the earmuff now, leaning back in the ropes, putting the body on sale, and Arterton is buying in bulk! Gemma working over the abs, ribs, midsection. She's pounding Burns to the chassis, trying to bring that guard down..."

McCarthy: "Or just trying to punish her. There's no rule against that, you know..."

O'Dell: "Thirty seconds left and Arterton digging body, bunching Burns up, then going back upstairs. Brooke hanging on gamely, jabbing back in spots, taking some serious punishment, but she's going to ship it and end the round on her feet. There's the bell. It's Gemma wide, but Burns lives to fight another day."

Cassie: "And, we're even at 38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Gemma right back to work as we start the fifth. She's all over Burns, banging away with both hands. Nothing sloppy. She's setting up the rights with those hard Front Street jabs, backing Burns up again, getting physical, looking to finish what she started in the fifth..."

McCarthy: "Burns going to need to punch for respect at some point here. Can't keep fighting on her back foot."

O'Dell: "But, that's exactly where Gemma has her at the moment. Arterton keeping the pressure on, steadily forcing Burns backward, pinning her to the ropes again, going to work on the body. Gemma giving it a working over, leaning on Brooke, making her take weight. Burns clinching, but Arterton shoving free, punching free..."

Cassie: "RIGHT HOOK, GEMMA!"

O'Dell: "AND BURNS IS ROCKED! Burns' knees turned to jelly by that right hand. Arterton with a left to the body a straight right snaps the head back and A LEFT HOOK DROPS BURNS! Brooke crumples to her left side parallel to the ropes after a short left hook..."

Tess: "And, Cassie may want to warm up those vocal chords..."

O'Dell: "Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Brooke rolls to her belly. Eight. Nine. Burns to hands and knees but TEN! And it's OVER! Burns still on her hands and knees as the count passes her by, and your winner by KO5 is 'The Gravesend Gladiator', Gemma Arterton!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Gemma Arterton, and, Gemma, talk to me about what looked like a low blow..."

Gemma: "Felt like one, too. I don't think she's a dirty fighter. I don't think she tried that. But, it got my temper going a little bit, that's for sure."

Tess: "And, you didn't waste any time after that..."

Gemma: "Never planned on it. She's the kind of girl, with her ability to box and her length, she can score points and make things hard for you if you get to the cards. We weren't going there. The plan was always to get physical and take her out."

Tess: "What's next for you?"

Gemma(laughing): "As always, talk to the boss."