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29 November 2015 Lauren Cohan vs Serinda Swan

Page history last edited by Vassago 8 years, 1 month ago

FALL BRAWL AT THE ASYLUM PPV

Posted by The Grand Wizard on November 29, 2015, 8:42 pm

BEFORE:

"It's been almost two years," says Lauren, shaking her head. "Unbelievable! I'm on the highest-rated show on television, and I can't get a fight, let alone management! Well, at least Front Street knows a good thing when it sees it. And, maybe, after I knock out Swan, I'll get them to thinking about how much money they could make with ME on the roster."

"She's got some size," says Serinda with a nod. "And, she's no novice. Take this girl lightly, and you're making a mistake. But. I'm not doing either of those. And, that's bad news for Lauren."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "We're back at ringside and..."

McCarthy: "What is THAT noise?"

O'Dell: "That would be 'The Parting Glass', by the lady coming to ringside right now, the lovely Lauren Cohan..."

McCarthy: "As a singer, she makes a good actress. And, as an actress she makes a good fighter. And she's a LOUSY fighter!"

Cassie: "Of course, Cohan is a regular on 'The Walking Dead', which regularly gets ratings ELEVEN TIMES HIGHER than the ratings MAC'S TV show gets..."

McCarthy: "THAT IS NOT TRUE!"

Tess: "Actually, it IS true. In fact, the information is RIGHT HERE on our tablets. 'The Walking Dead' has been getting ratings around a 6.8, while YOUR show got around an 0.6 in its most recent run, meaning 'Walking Dead' is actually getting ratings MORE than eleven times higher..."

McCarthy: "Are you telling me people would rather watch ZOMBIES stagger around than watch the Playmate of the Freaking Century?"

Tess: "That's EXACTLY what I'm telling you..."

McCarthy: "That's RIDICULOUS! Siri, call Nielsen! I demand a RECOUNT!"

O'Dell (sighing): "Cohan into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a lime green number with black trim that the audience clearly approves of, and that's 'Foxey Lady' by Jimi Hendrix you hear, and that can only mean that 'The Hottest Player In The Game', Serinda Swan, is on her way to ringside..."

McCarthy: "THIS IS JENNY MCCARTHY CALLING AND I WANT A CALL BACK IMMEDIATELY! YOUR RATINGS ARE CRAP!"

Cassie: "Did you just hang up, Mac?"

McCarthy: "YES!"

Cassie: "You didn't leave a number."

Tess: "Not like they're calling her back anyway..."

Cassie: "Good point..."

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, and drink in Serinda Swan as she's helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that red bikini we're familiar with, and the ladies are about ready, so it's time for some picks. Tess favors Serinda. Mac..."

McCarthy: "Cohan actually HAS an FCBA win, and Swan is a typical overrated Dancing Hooker. Lauren pulls the upset!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "And, we're underway. Cohan rangy, limber, athletic, wants to box at range, and we've seen her do that effectively before. Problem right now is, she's in with a girl who's just as rangy, just as limber, and probably more athletic...and she's also got a lot more experience, and that's immediately beginning to tell the tale..."

Cassie: "No question. Swan beating Lauren to punches and forcing her onto the defensive. Serinda's turning this girl to the counter within the first minute."

O'Dell: "That she is, and Lauren isn't liking it one bit. Cohan being forced to give some ground now, as Swan goes to the poke and step, using that heavy Front Street jab to set up rights, back up Lauren, then step into the breach. Cohan countering in spots, landing a good punch here or there..."

Tess: "But, it's all one-punch stuff. She can't get anything put together right now. Serinda, on the other hand, getting the combinations home."

O'Dell: "Is she EVER. Swan in a very early rhythm here, has everything working. Getting the left on target, getting the right in behind, putting together nice flurries that force Lauren to keep the guard up and stay on the defensive. Excellent suppressive scoring fire from Serinda right from the opening seconds to the final bell. Swan's round solid. Excellent start for Serinda."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round sees Cohan wanting to get a bit more physical. Lauren coming forward now behind her left jab, closing and banging with Swan. Serinda willing to play this game, too, because a more physical light than Swan, you are unlikely to find. Very interesting how quickly things have turned here, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Give credit to Cohan for trying something else so quickly. She was having problems boxing at range with Swan. Needed to make a change."

O'Dell: "So now, we're on new terms. Both fighters banging home hard stuff as range goes from long to middle to close. Eventually, the fighters fall into a clinch. Referee breaks them and we go back to the pattern, long, middle, close, as it's Cohan working forward, Swan holding ground, both brunettes landing solid shot..."

Cassie: "And, that's putting it mildly. There are some BOMBS being thrown in there. No lack of power from either one of these fighters, that's for sure."

O'Dell: "Coming down the stretch and they're in close, digging body. Cohan seeming to get the better of things in this tight right now. She's tying Swan up, hitting with her free hand. Serinda shoving off, landing a hook, but Cohan responding with a good left-right. A BIG right from Swan and a BIG right in response from Lauren! Sweat flying from serious leather at the bell! Lauren's round."

Tess: "And, we're all even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third begins with more aggression, again wants to work forward behind her left hand. Swan again holding ground, not going to be forced back by her fellow brunette and more heavy leather being exchanged as we go long, middle, close once again! Legs are being seriously tested in there right now, gang..."

Cassie" "And, as I said, both of these girls have plenty of power. Cohan knocked down Guigino with her first FCBA punch and has a first round KO to her credit, and we've all seen how hard Swan can hit."

O'Dell: "Neither fighter shying away from the power, though, both hanging and banging. They tie up in close, both hooking body with the free hand until the referee jumps in to break them, and then we're back to the pattern, long, middle, close and bang, and most of the banging in tight now to the body."

Tess: "And, it's going to take a lot of investment to begin to break down either of those bodies. Both of them are plenty impressive."

O'Dell: "No question of that. We're into the final 30 seconds now, fighters in the phone booth. They get tangled in there and the referee breaks them. Back to long range. Swan lands a one-two. Cohan closes, lands a good right. Back in tight, working body. Five seconds to go. And there's the bell. Close one, but Cohan."

McCarthy: "And Lauren now leads 29-28. And, remember who predicted she'd win!"

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth now underway and it's more forward motion from Cohan. Lauren working forward behind that left hand, Swan holding her ground, not attempting to enforce distance, and we're in tight almost immediately now, both fighters going to their interior offense, working hooks and uppies toe to toe..."

Tess: "Have to admit, this was not the fight I thought we'd see between these two. I thought it would be a lot more like the first round."

O'Dell: "Body work taking precedence in there now, as both fighters are digging to the ribs and midsection. We're seeing some shouldering and shoving as well. Fighters tying up, wrestling around in there, and, Mac, I've got to think all of this favors Cohan. This isn't Swan's normal game at all..."

McCarthy: "And, if she had a corner that knew what it was doing, it would be telling her to enforce distance with the jab and get back to ranged boxing..."

O'Dell: "Then again, Swan's doing pretty well for herself on these terms. She's holding her own in there, in what's been another closely fought round. Serinda scoring inside, able to work both head and body well, just as Lauren's able to do. And Swan plenty strong enough to do the wrestling and clinching in there. Final seconds ticking away in the fourth and there's the bell. Close, as we said, but Swan this time."

Cassie: "All even at 38. Hasn't been much in this one at all."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Right back in the phone booth as we begin the fifth. Cohan closing, pressuring. Swan standing right there and fighting for every inch of canvas. This is gritty stuff as the two brunettes exchange short, powerful punches, neither wanting to be the one who blinks her. Cohan a good right hand backed Serinda up half a step..."

Cassie: "This is some serious leather being traded in there right now, Jenny..."

O'Dell: "No doubt about that. There's ANOTHER solid right from Cohan and SWAN WOBBLES LAUREN! Serinda with a blistering three-punch combination and Cohan is in trouble! Cohan stumbling backward, needs the ropes for balance, Swan forward with all guns blazing, looking to take her rival out of there right now..."

McCarthy: "Cohan's just soaking it up. She needs to do something or the referee's going to jump in there!"

O'Dell: "He's looking closely as we head down the stretch. Thirty seconds to go and Swan winging away. Lauren in a tight earmuff, now jabbing back some, perhaps hearing the shouts from her corner to get busy. Serinda hooking body, jab and cross upstairs. Lauren catching some of it on her gloves, but there's plenty getting through. Cohan shipping it and staying on her feet. Five seconds to go. Swan one more flurry, but there's the bell. Wide to Serinda."

Tess: "And Swan back in the lead 48-47."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth begins with Swan coming forward, looking to put Cohan away. Lauren willing to give ground now, doesn't want to stand and trade with Swan at this point, would rather jab for space. Serinda walking through that noise, looking to close, and GETTING DROPPED BY A RIGHT HAND! A perfect straight right from Cohan puts Swan on her back!"

McCarthy: "I TOLD you! I TOLD you Cohan would win! And, when she does, Swan will get her walking papers for SURE!"

O'Dell: "Count is at three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Serinda to hands and knees. Eight. And she's on her feet. Referee going to give her the mandatory and he'll allow it to continue. And here comes Lauren! Cohan all in right now, ladies. She's intent on finishing this thing right here, and she may be close to doing it..."

Cassie: "Swan covering up, soaking up the leather just like Lauren did in the last round. She's clearly wobbly and looks like she might be ready to go..."

O'Dell: "Cohan throwing everything she's got at her. Sitting down on every punch. She's got Serinda in the ropes now and she's going to town. Swan keeping the guard up, leaning back into the ropes, jabbing back on occasion to keep the referee from ending this thing. Twenty seconds to go, and Cohan going to make good use of every one of them. She's hammering away with both hands as the clock runs down. Five seconds. There's the bell! Huge round for Lauren!"

Tess: "And Cohan's back in front, 57-56 with four to go."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Back to work and Cohan looking to close this thing out against a still shabby Serinda Swan..."

McCarthy: "And, like I said, send this overrated Dancing Hooker PACKING..."

Tess: "I don't know about that, Mac, but, add this loss to the two Serinda suffered to Bundchen earlier this year, and she'll be dead at the bottom of the pecking order in a seven-girl lightweight division..."

O'Dell: "Cohan backing Swan up with every flurry. Serinda completely defensive right now, just throwing the occasional counter. She's still buzzed and Cohan knows it. Lauren upping the pressure even more as this round goes on. She's getting everything she has into these punches, throwing everything up to and including the kitchen sink at the Front Streeter to get her out of there..."

McCarthy: "And, even if she doesn't, she's clearly controlling this round, which would put her up two with just three to go..."

O'Dell: "But, Lauren not thinking at all about the cards right now. She's thinking about stopping Swan long before it comes to that. Serinda firming up a little as we head down the stretch. She's against the ropes, but she's countering solidly now. That's not slowing Cohan one iota, however. Lauren still pouring on the leather looking to end this thing. Doesn't look like it's going to happen, though. Final seconds slipping away and there's the bell. Cohan wide.""

Cassie: "And, like Mac said, Lauren's up two, 67-65, with three rounds to go."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "Lauren starts the eighth with more pressure. Again coming forward behind that jab. Swan holding her ground now, and we're back to where we were in round four, with the fighters in close banging away. Cohan a bit busier right now, getting more punches thrown and more punches home..."

McCarthy: "And she needs to keep the rate of fire up. Grab this round and she can coast down the stretch..."

O'Dell: "Lauren backs Swan up with a right hand. Serinda beginning to give some ground now..."

Cassie: "Is Cohan finally winning the war of attrition in there?"

O'Dell: "Lauren continuing to come forward. Swan slowly retreating and ROCKING LAUREN WITH A STRAIGHT RIGHT! Oh, it's parlor and fly time as Serinda walks Cohan into a vicious right hand that turned Lauren's whole body to spaghetti for just an instant! Cohan looked like she was going down but managed to stay on her feet, at least for the moment, because Swan is now buffeting her about the ring, driving her back into a corner, and going to work in a big way..."

Tess: "Well, THIS thing turned on a dime, didn't it?"

O'Dell: "And Swan's trying to end it just that quickly. Serinda WINGING away at Lauren, who's desperately hanging on now. She's crouching in a tight ear muff, taking punches on the arms and gloves, just covering up and trying to run clock. Referee watching closely as Serinda straightens Cohan with a shoulder and pounds a couple of shots into the midsection before going back upstairs. Lauren trying to tie up, but Swan punching free, lands a HARD right hand that got the ref's attention, but there's the bell! Swan wide..."

McCarthy: "But, Cohan not only survives, she still leads 76-75."

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "It's Swan on the offensive as we begin the ninth. Serinda looking to consolidate gains now. She's getting that heavy Front Street jab on target, using it to set up solid right hands. Cohan being forced slowly back. She's still a little unsure of those legs and she can't hold ground right now..."

Tess: "And, interestingly, as Swan begins to take control here, they're fighting at range for the first time since round one..."

O'Dell: "And, it's working just as well for Serinda now as it did then. Swan controlling Cohan with that left, and then punishing her with the right hand. Lauren unable to get anything going offensively. She's all counter now, and most of that is coming off the back foot as she slowly gives ground before Serinda's offensive. Double-tap jab Swan and DOWN GOES COHAN AFTER A BRUTAL STRAIGHT RIGHT!"

Cassie: "Swan just MEASURED her for that right with the two jabs. Tap, tap. BOOM!"

O'Dell: "BOOM, indeed. Cohan on her back as the count reaches three. Four. Five. Six. Lauren rolling over to her belly at seven. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's over! Cohan can't beat the count, and your winner by KO9 is 'The Hottest Player In The Game' Serinda Swan!"

McCarthy: "Lucky punch."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Serinda Swan, and, Serinda, that wasn't easy in there..."

Serinda: "I knew it wouldn't be. She's very physical. Has a lot of power. She has all the tools to be a very good fighter. All she needs is the work."

Tess: "How big a win was this for you? You started the year with those two losses, but you've finished strong..."

Serinda: "It was big. I was coming off two straight undefeated years and right in the mix for a title shot, and I needed to get back on track. Three straight wins to wrap the year? Yeah. Those were big. Tonight was big."

Tess: "What's next year hold for you?"

Serinda (smiling): "Hopefully that shot at the belts."