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31 January 2016 Angie Everhart vs Kesha

Page history last edited by Vassago 7 years, 11 months ago

BABES, BAZZ & WELTERS TOO @ THE ASYLUM

Posted by The Grand Wizard on January 31, 2016, 8:34 pm

BEFORE:

"Last time didn't go as well as I would have liked," says Angie with a nod. "That happens against a girl as big and physical as she is. You can get caught. But. I can catch people, too, and that's exactly what I plan to do tonight."

"I said last time that Angie's a test for me," says Kesha with a nod. "In fact, she's a test for just about anybody over 130. But, she's a test I passed once. And, I'll pass it again."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that is 'Eine Kleine Nachtmusik'..."

McCarthy: "The title of that sounds like you're ordering beer at Oktoberfest..."

Tess: "You know, Mac, Mozart is pretty well respected around musical circles. I don't think we ought to be making fun of his music."

Cassie: "Here's the part where Mac says if Mozart was that great he'd have been on bubble gum cards."

McCarthy: "I KNOW there were never bubble gum cards featuring composers. I still have some old 'Happy Days' cards around the house somewhere, though..."

O'Dell: "Aaaaannnnddddd if we could focus on the ring, where the lovely Angie Everhart of the Bazz Fight Club climbs in and is helped off with the robe by her corner to reveal a blue two-piece and a body that reinforces Mac's line about age being nothing but a number..."

McCarthy: "About TIME someone admits I'm RIGHT!"

O'Dell: "And, that's 'Tik-Tok' you hear, which can only mean one thing, that 'Six Feet of Sexy', Kesha, is on her way to ringside."

Cassie: "How tall is Kesha, Mac?"

McCarthy: "She's NOT six feet tall and she's NOT sexy! Only Weirdo would come up with a nickname like that!"

Tess: "I understand that when he was considering signing YOU he planned to call you Jenny 'The Mind' McCarthy."

McCarthy: "Well, he...SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys and try to stay conscious as Kesha climbs into the ring and is helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that navy blue bikini she likes. Ladies about ready. Time to get some picks. Tess likes Kesha. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Everhart's not that great...she's no Big Bad Gena Lee...but even SHE can take this phony Dancing Hooker!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "Gotta go with my girl. Angie will find a way."

O'Dell: "And, we're under way, and, just like the last time, both fighters want to work that jab at range. For the left-handed Kesha, the right is what delivers that heavy 'Front Street Jab', while, for Angie, the lead is the left. Everhart showing excellent footwork in the early going, showing angles and looks to the blonde to foul the sights..."

Cassie: "Note how quickly Angie's adjusting to fighting a southpaw. You can spar against it all you want, but when you get in there, it's different. A veteran like Big Red, though, doesn't take long to get past it."

O'Dell: "And, Angie's doing that, as she's getting the better of the gun platform stuff in the early going. Everhart likes to double-tap the left, then drop in the right, and she's having success with that. Kesha, meanwhile, struggling to get the right hand on. She's landing some, but not nearly as much as she'd like."

Tess: "And, not nearly as much as Angie, either."

O'Dell: "Everhart very smooth right now. Everything dovetailing nicely, setting things up beautifully and creating problems for the blonde with her defense. Kesha sticking with it, working hard to get the right going, but not going to make that happen in the first. There's the bell. And it's Angie claiming the points in the first."

McCarthy: "And, my pick looking pretty good right now."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round and the same terms. Both fighters tall and rangy, like this kind of action because they like to extend on their punches. The younger blonde finding the range a little better now. Getting that heavy right jab home, dropping in the occasional hard left, but Everhart not getting thrown over to the defensive..."

Cassie: "Can't let that happen against Kesha. If you're out on the end of her punches taking and countering, let's just say the odds aren't in your favor."

O'Dell: "So Everhart keeps working hard, getting the hands out at back. Angie has a very pretty left jab. Watch how she SNAPS it, the left out, landing, back quickly. She's still doubling on it some, though not as much as in the first. Kesha, meanwhile, scoring with the right and then looking for openings to drop that big left."

McCarthy: "Everhart doing an excellent job of limiting those opportunities. She's a veteran and she's slick, and you're seeing that now."

O'Dell: "And, let's keep in mind that she's also fought Kesha once before. There's no substitute for that kind of experience, for being in the ring with a girl for rounds and seeing and feeling how she fights and what she likes to do. And Angie able to use that now in that slick defense. Ten seconds left in the second. Kesha lands a right, Angie fires back with a one-two and there's the bell. Close. Angie again."

Tess: "20-18, Everhart after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round and the two tall beauties still engaged in ranged warfare. Both working the jab very well. Kesha having more and more success with hers as the fight goes on, that heavy right that can not only stop you, but sometimes back you up a step. Angie, though, very solid, hard to move..."

McCarthy: "And, like you said the last round, she's not getting forced into a defensive posture, and that's the key here. She has to stay after this kid."

O'Dell: "And, that's exactly what she's doing, while Kesha's offense continues to crank up. The result another good, two-way round like we saw in the second. Nobody hurt, but both women certainly feeling the power in some of these punches. These are big girls who can hit, and they're landing some good stuff."

Cassie: "I've held heavies for both of these girls, and I'll testify that they both hit like trucks."

O'Dell: "Final minute of the third round. Both fighters in rhythm, jabs working, power crosses and hooks coming in behind. Both slipping and blocking their share, but we're seeing higher percentages landing in this round than we have at any point in the fight so far. Thirty seconds left. Pace quickening a bit as the fighters look to claim a close round with late work. Ten seconds. Good right by Kesha and there's the bell. Close. Kesha."

Tess: "And, Big K avoids that 3-0 hole, and cuts the deficit on the cards to 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Rolling into the fourth and the terms going to remain the same. Neither fighter looking like needing adjustments, so neither fighter is making any. It's still all about the jab, getting it on, and then following with hard crosses or hooks. Angie getting that straight right on target solid now, backs Kesha up a step."

Cassie: "That's the power I told you about..."

O'Dell: "LEFT HAND, KESHA and Angie's staggered! Kesha with a blistering straight left hand and Everhart did well to stay on her feet. The blonde determined that she won't be there for long, howver. Big K going all in to finish. She's got Angie in full retreat. Big Red with the guard high and tight giving ground in huge chunks..."

Tess: "She'll trade space for time. Has to."

O'Dell: "And, she's OUT of space as Kesha pins her to the ropes. Big K a little wild for a second there, but settling down now, setting up her punches, looking for the finisher. Angie jabbing back a little, keeping the head and shoulders moving, even sliding along the ropes a bit. She's killing clock very well, and she's going to get it buried. Five seconds left, and there's the bell. Kesha wide, but Angie still standing."

McCarthy: "And, we're all even at 38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth begins with Kesha looking to come forward behind that big right hand, but she's meeting spirited resistance from Angie. Everhart stopping that offensive immediately with a barrage of heavy leather, and now it's Kesha who gives a little ground as Angie's ranged in and landing with both hands!"

McCarthy: "Nothin'. But. A. Number!"

O'Dell: "Everhart walking forward and DROPPED! Everhart dropped by a left hook from Kesha! Blown right to her back by a nasty short left! Big blonde to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Angie getting to her feet at eight. Referee going to give her the mandatory and let this continue..."

Cassie: "About five girls in the whole FCBA get up from that one."

O'Dell: "Kesha after Angie immediately now, and Everhart again giving ground in bunches. Big K quickly has her on the ropes, hooking a little body for the first time in the fight, but Angie not going to bring that high guard down so KESHA SPLITS IT with a straight left and Angie slumping along the ropes, right hook and IT'S OVER! Referee leaping in between the fighters, nd your winner by TKO5 is 'Six Feet of Sexy', Kesha!"

Tess: "Right call to stop it. Angie out on her feet, and I have no idea how she was still standing after those two punches."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Kesha, and, Big K, you landed some serious thunder in those last couple of rounds..."

Kesha (shaking her head): "You want to tell me how she was still standing? Those could have knocked a horse out like that guy in 'Blazing Saddles' did, and she won't go down? She's one tough old broad, let me tell you."

Tess: "How does it feel to be back at welter?"

Kesha (smiling): "I like it. I'm big enough to fight up here, and I can make light without a problem, so, why not do both? And, that's just what I'm going to do."