O'Dell: "You are looking LIVE at the sold out Asylum Arena in Philadelphia! I'm Jennifer O'Dell, and I'm here along with Tess Valmore, The Bad Girl Of Bazz, Cassie Scerbo, and The Loose Cannon Of The FCBA, The Straw That Stirs The Drink, Jenny McCarthy, and ladies, we're wrapping up the month of March in style with a big card here at the Asylum..."

Tess: "That's right, Jenny. We'll have a half dozen bouts here tonight in all four weight classes, and fully half those bouts will be at welter, with all three Front Street members of the division in action."

Cassie: "That includes Kesha, who's back up at welter this year and will be in action tonight against Aussie beauty Jacinda Barrett, and Front Street's newest member, Antje Utgaard, who'll be battling a girl making her FCBA debut, Amy Schumer!"

McCarthy: "And, one of Front Street's two REAL fighters will also be in action at welter, as Leelee Sobieski battles Bazz's veteran Elisabeth Rohm..."

Tess: "And, Bazz isn't the only guest stable here tonight. Foxfire Atlantic is back in Philadelphia, with bantamweight Rose Byrne stepping into the ring with former bantamweight champion Allison..."

McCarthy: "DON'T...."

Tess: "'Mack The Knife' Mack..."

McCarthy: "AHHHHHHH!"

Cassie: "And, let's not forget flyweight, where Foxfire Atlantic's Pooja Shah will make her FCBA debut against Leighton Meester!"

O'Dell: "And, we have a bout at lightweight as well, with indie beauty Taylor Schilling making her return to Asylum against 'The Gravesend Gladiator', Gemma Arterton. It's going to be a great card tonight, so get those shot glasses and bingo cards ready, sit back, relax, and enjoy 'Three Blondes and Three Brunettes vs. Three Blondes and Three Brunettes at the Asylum'!"