WTA meets WWE: The UK Smackdown
Laura Robson (0-1) vs Natalie Eva Marie (BBU Debut)
(WTA/BBU Independent vs Los Ingobernales)

Venue: Devonshire Park Lawn Tennis Club
Location: Eastbourne, East Sussex, England, UK

BEFORE: Laura Robson suffered a nasty beating at the hands of Laci Kay Somers last month but it didn't affect her confidence that badly like some experts thought at the time. Fast forward five weeks and the British tennis pro - still recovering from a lenghty spell on the sidelines due to a lingering wrist injury - is ready to welcome a fiery Los Ingobernales redhead into BBU competition.

Of course Natalie Eva Marie isn't a true redhead - she's a classic Latin brunette underneath all that dye - but she's ready to deliver a message on this side of the Atlantic to improve her largely anonymous WWE diva stock over here. She blasted out veteran Jeri Ryan in JMDD rules back in America lately however finds little applause for her heroics when she enters the Eastbourne facility - which probably has never seen so much fake strawberry colors in it's existance.

Georgie Thompson reports from the seaside resort and explains that Natalie has been granted a monthy vacation by her manager Triple H and when someone looks for a leisure spot in England, Eastbourne is one of the most obvious picks. It just so happens that it also has a world-famous tennis facility around the place.

Laura Robson wears a white bikini set and red gloves. Dark brown hair tied in a custom ponytail. Natalie Eva Marie wears a black & white striped bikini set, black knickers and yellow gloves. Long dyed red hair tied in a braid. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the lightweight division.

Round 1:
Robson cashes in on her reach advantage early on and while she's more known for her power supply rather that quick movement, she still traps the Ameircan with her efforts and makes her wince in pain when blasting a series on the mouth that forces Natalie to seek respite in mid range. However that's not the plan to tame the superior jab and Laura keeps picking her off quickly fending off the Somers demons and finding the diva's face repeatedly for remainder of the round. Georgie Thompson begins to wonder how long Natalie was partying up on the beach last night since she looks quite wasted for a boxing celebrity but that's not Robson's problem who pummels her back to the ropes and splits the mitts right at the bell again. She backs off the final punch but that would have blown the American away on the spot according to most fans in the audience and Laura is just being too nice here!

Round 2:
Natalie finally arrives three minutes late to the party and squares up to the taller opponent before blasting her across the body and rooting Robson to the spot. Tennis isn't a contact sport but someone who's beaten Maria Kirilenko before must be doing something right - the problem is, Natalie turns up the heat much quicker for Laura's lanky stance and harpoons into her body repeatedly to sink the 22 year old on visibly soft knees much sooner than anyone un Eastbourne expected. A quick switch on the jaw splits the mitts and has Natalie thundering point-blank range assault that sends Robson spinning into the ropes with a loud scream. She escapes the redhead wrath thereafter - but only just - and spends the final minute ducking & weaving around the ring with Natalie's cheeky smile taking center stage. The WWE entourage is well known for selling it's act above the actual requirements and Georgie wonders how much scripted tactics has Eva Marie dosed for Robson tonight.

Round 3:
Laura still thinks the WWE stunner takes it all seriously but the Somers beating was a terrible warm-up and it doesn't get any better early in the third when the California girl whacks her across the mouth and shows supreme power supply to make the Eastbourne crowd groan in dismay. The brunette's guard just isn't up to par with the American wrath and Eva Marie outworks the youngster in close range again to expose Laura's lack of working space diversity. The British lass just can't stretch her elbows to inflict the desired effect and gets pounded back to the ropes where she fails to escape this time and bellows out behind a high earmuff with Natalie raining punches like skittles and wobbling the mediocre tennis pro back & forth until the bell mercifully halts the action.

Round 4:
"Damn it! Can Laura outbox the redhead bytch by just trading leather like there's no tomorrow?", Georgie Thompson begins to fear the worst is yet to come for Robson as Eva Marie salutes to the crowd even after the bell and tries to sell more WWE dummy to the utmost disbelief of her opponent among others. Laura tries to pounce but Eva Marie ducks underneath and bumps her jab into her hip before circling back with hands down against the thighs. OK, this is plain showboating now and Laura feels like she's getting mocked by this dyed creature... she launches a high jabbing assault but finds the diva too bendy and too quick on her feet before getting countered to the nose and sliding back against the ropes on the two minute mark. What a nightmare for all the tennis fans - Eva Marie is simply too quick on her feet and exposes Laura's wilting resistance by stacking her up to the body and piercing the midsection late in the round to leave Robson gasping for air in visible discomfort at the bell.

Round 5:
Laura tries to rewind back to the opening round but her aggressive burst is shattered when Eva Marie lands a vicious cross hook on the left eye and follows up with a right hand on the jaw...  AND THAT SENDS ROBSON DOWN ON HER BACK less than ten seconds from the bell... Disaster for the Eastbourne crowd as the redhead gloats over the fallen brunette which delays the count but still has Laura shaken up at eight. Ugh! There's a nasty swelling under her left eye and Georgie Thompson praises the courage of the Melbourne-born lass since that was a monster combo that send her down. Laura gets extra seconds to catch her breath but Eva Marie shoves the ref away like she's on Wrestlemania: The UK Edition and romps into the brunette's face catching poor Robson clean on the mouth and rocking her ponytail back & forth around her neck as she applies the Brutality Mode! And that's in capital letters, folks since Laura doesn't even get a chance to fend off the barrage before SHE'S DOWN ON HER KNEES and spitting out her gumshield as the American planst her foot on her back even before the count... ref shoves the shouting diva back and the commotion results in another delay but Laura's down on all fours and unable to embrace the second knockdown in a space of 20 odd seconds... she remains down on her limbs and stares at the canvas, even the slowest of counts can't save her from the blindingly obvious truth... this days belongs to the WWE's fintest... KO5 Natalie Eva Marie!!!

AFTER: Well, the dyed stunner didn't even have to apply JMD tactics to blow Laura away and Georgie Thompson is shocked the diva didn't even try them at any stage of the fight - "Why should I? Laura's cup size is below my level and I didn't want the Queen to phone in for help! (laughs). That answers one question but Georgie finds herself embarrassed when Eva Marie climbs up to the TV booth and begins to wave to her Los Ingobernales during live broadcast. "Hi, gang! I'm really behaving here! Gonna spend the next week of so down on the beach but they won't kick me out of the country for topless sunbathing and all like you feared! And apparently Laura is the new pulp! I sooooo wanted to knee lift her but you told me not to do it when the cameras are on! Even the arm wringer is forbidden! What rotten luck! And I thought the BBU rules are more liberal than back in the States.... excuse me but what are you doing?"

Georgie Thompson unplugs Eva's mic and walks off the booth shaking her head and trying to look up whether Laura Robson is anywhere near. Well, she is not. The Eastbourne bodyguards craddled her to safety immediately after the redhead diva used her back as a springboard to jump out of the ring and head upstairs to crash the BBU TV coverage. Subsequently she still gives the stunned audience her final word on the night:

"I really must ask for a raise! First I'm down in Madrid to watch Laura Whitmore get wrecked by some Spanish bimbo calling herself a TV personality and now some fake-haired diva uses MY booth as a personal skype account. In Eastbourne of all places! What gives? OK, it's official, Natalie Eva Marie is the most insufferable American celebrity boxer I've ever seen in person, period. The Mexican-Italian sauce is not good for my taste. Georgie over and out!"

Final result: Natalie Eva Marie def. Laura Robson KO5.