O'Dell: "You are looking LIVE at the sold out Asylum Arena in Philadelphia! I'm Jennifer O'Dell, and I'm here along with Tess Valmore, The Bad Girl Of Bazz, Cassie Scerbo, and The Loose Cannon Of The FCBA, The Straw That Stirs The Drink, Jenny McCarthy, and ladies, we have our normal six pack of bouts to wrap up the month of April, including a stable making its first appearance here in Philly..."

Cassie: "That's right, Jenny, and that stable is This Is Glamour, which has sent a pair of fighters across the pond, lightweight Alice Goodwin, who'll make her FCBA debut against former lightweight champion Katy Perry, and bantam Keeley Hazell, who'll step into the ring against Kat Dennings..."

Tess: "And, of course, while this will be her STABLE'S first time in Philly, it isn't Hazell's first trip here. She fought at Asylum back in 2012 when she was a part of Keer's Kats. And, Hazell isn't the only girl making a return here tonight. Asylum veteran Lauren German is back to take on Allison..."

McCarthy: "DON'T...."

Tess: "'Mack The Knife' Mack..."

McCarthy: "AHHHHHHH!"

Cassie: "And, let's not forget flyweight, where Ashlee Simpson returns to Philly to battle Jane Levy!"

O'Dell: "And, Alice Goodwin isn't the only girl making her FCBA debut here tonight, Mac..."

McCarthy: "No, because Weirdo's brought in yet ANOTHER girl with ZERO FCBA wins to fight one of his Dancing Hookers. This one is Lindsay Ellingson, a Victoria's Secret Angel, who'll be fighting against Daniela Ruah, who's only SLIGHTLY less irritating than her good buddy Brooklyn Decker!"

Cassie: "And, This Is Glamour isn't the ONLY guest stable tonight, because, as usual, the Bazz Fight Club is here, this time in the person of Jilly Wags herself, Jill Wagner for a rematch with "The Hottest Player In The Game", Serinda Swan!"

O'Dell: "It's going to be a great card tonight, so get those shot glasses and bingo cards ready, sit back, relax, and enjoy 'This Is Glamour at the Asylum'!"