BEFORE:

"No, I haven't won an FCBA fight yet," says Dakota with a shake of the head. "And, yes, I've been in tough a lot, but that's no excuse. I can BEAT these girls, and I plan to start tonight."

"The only thing she's going to start tonight," says Serinda with just the hint of a smile, "Is the car, if she's cleared to drive after the fight. And, that's highly unlikely."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "We're back at ringside and that's 'Love Me Like You Do' by Ellie Goulding, but, that's not the lovely Ms. Goulding on her way to the ring, it's brunette beauty Dakota Johnson..."

McCarthy: "Who, in typical Dancing Hooker opponent fashion, has ZERO FCBA wins!"

Tess: "But, Johnson not exaggerating about having been in tough a lot. Her losses have come to Lawrene, Daddario, Arterton, and Ridley..."

McCarthy: "I repeat. NO FCBA wins."

O'Dell: "Johnson into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal that white bikini..."

McCarthy: "And, it doesn't cover much. But, I'll say the same thing I did the last time she was here. It leaves a lot more to the imagination than she did in that movie, which, again, was SHAMELESS..."

Cassie: "You know, you got away with tempting fate by saying that once..."

O'Dell: "Aaaaannnnnd that's 'Foxey Lady' by Jimi Hendricks you hear, and that means 'The Hottest Player In The Game', Serinda Swan, is on her way to the ring..."

Tess: "Truck, cue any of the dozen videos of Mac saying something along the lines of Swan not being the hottest player in the game because Mac is in it or being the hottest player in another game or MAYbe being the hottest player in this game because Mac is retired or..."

McCarthy: "SHUT. UP. WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, as Serinda climbs into the ring and is helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that red bikini she prefers, and it's getting the usual reaction from the crowd. Ladies about ready, so it's time for some picks. Tess favors Serinda. Mac?"

McCarthy: "NO FCBA wins. Swan."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "It's unanimous. Let's see if the ladies are right. Johnson quickly to the left jab, which is no surprise. This is the way she likes to fight. At range, using her length, likes the jab/jab/cross stuff. Dakota has good hand speed and she moves the feet well. When we saw her the last time, she was lacking experience, but she has a bit more of that now..."

McCarthy: "There's no substitute for it. On occasion, you'll get a girl like Holt, who seems to be a veteran even when she's only had a few FCBA fights, but she's definitely the exception."

O'Dell: "Johnson looking to manage with that left hand. Wants to keep Swan at range. Serinda willing to stay out there and box. The Front Streeter just as rangy as Dakota, but stronger and with a lot more FCBA experience. Swan not pushing pace right now. Content to box with and feel out."

Tess: "And, some good boxing being done by both fighters. Not a ton of action, but good, crisp, accurate stuff being exchanged."

O'Dell: "Into the final 30 seconds. The fighters turning in a slow circle. Moving the feet, snapping out the left hand, looking to set up solid rights. Neither girl has landed anything big, but, as Tess points out, the stuff that's being thrown is accurate and sharp. Five seconds left. One final exchange and there's the bell. Close to Swan."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins the way the first ended, with the two brunettes boxing at range. Both clearly comfortable on these terms and willing to abide by them, at least for the moment. As I recall, this is the way Arterton/Johnson started, but Gemma didn't take long to turn up the heat. Swan might have a different game plan..."

McCarthy: "Arterton isn't any great shakes. She's no Torv or Palicki. But, even SHE is better than Swan, who's only great in her own MIND."

O'Dell: "Not sure what that has to do with what we're talking about, but, there's a good combination from Dakota. Her best punch of the fight so far in the middle of that one. Serinda a solid left in counter, landing a good hook to the jaw that backed Johnson up a step. Dakota right back to that left jab in response."

Cassie: "I like what Johnson's doing here. She does not want to get into mixing it up heavy with Swan. She needs to box. And, she's doing it."

O'Dell: "And, doing it well at that. Have to admit, I'm liking what I'm seeing from Dakota here. As we pointed out, she's been in tough in every fight. She hasn't won any, but it's looking a lot like that experience has helped her, because this is a better fighter than the one we saw last August. There's the bell ending the second. Close. Johnson."

Tess: "And, we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Nobody looking to renegotiate term here in the third. Ranged boxing is the theme of the day, and both brunettes perfectly happy to settle in. Snapping out solid lefts, looking to set up right hand power shots. All long-range, gun platform stuff. And, Mac, are you as surprised as I am that Swan's not applying more pressure?"

McCarthy: "If I were in her corner, I'd be in her ear in a big way telling her to close and get physical. But, again, Front Street doesn't HAVE any good trainers..."

O'Dell: "Action not lacking in this round. In fact, it hasn't been lacking in the fight. But, it's been of the slow, steady type. A few lengthy exchanges, but mostly jabbing and then following on with the right hand. Both fighters showing good hand speed and accuracy. Both also showing some nice defense, slipping and blocking well."

Tess: "And, as you've mentioned, Jenny, good footwork as well."

O'Dell: "Final thirty seconds of the third round, which has been just as close, if not closer, than the first two. Neither fighter's been able to take any sort of control for the first eight minutes, and that's not going to change in the ninth. Five seconds left. Good right hand, Johnson to close out the round. Nothing in it, ladies. Even."

Cassie: "29-29 with three in the books."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Right back to the ranged warfare to begin the fourth. Swan bobbing the head, snapping out that hard, Front Street jab..."

McCarthy: "Again. It's a JAB. Every fighter has one..."

O'Dell: "Johnson looking to slip and get her own left on target. The jabs the key here in this one, ladies, because, when they land, they create the opportunity for the right and maybe a longer flurry. When they miss, they create the opportunity for a counter..."

Cassie: "And, this is what good boxers do and what good boxing is. I'm going to hit you, and you aren't going to hit me. It's been slick stuff on both sides so far."

O'Dell: "And, again, not a shock from Swan, who's a 40 fight veteran with plenty of quality wins, a girl who was very close to a lightweight title shot at the beginning of last year, but it's plenty impressive from Johnson, who, again, doesn't have an FCBA win to this point. Dakota holding her own pretty well right now."

Tess: "And, as it is in the case of all underdogs, the longer she does it, the better things get for her."

O'Dell: "No doubt about that. The confidence is going to grow as the remaining length of the fight shrinks..."

McCarthy: "And, Swan had better hope it doesn't grow too much or shrink too quickly. One more upset after those two against Bundchen, and she'll be looking for work tomorrow."

O'Dell: "Ten seconds left in a competitive fourth. Swan a nice one-two and there's the bell. Fourth consecutive close round. Serinda."

Cassie: 39-38, Swanny."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Heading for the halfway point of this bout, and we're seeing nothing now that's any different from the opening seconds. The two lovely brunettes boxing at range, slowly turning counter clockwise, using good footwork, good hand speed, excellent head and shoulder movement, in short, boxing very well."

Tess: "Both fighters have been very sound tonight. Neither one getting sloppy. Neither one creating openings for the other by getting overly aggressive."

O'Dell: "No doubt a lot of patience being shown, though one might begin to ask when it becomes TOO much patience. Good right hand by Johnson and a BOOMING RIGHT HAND SWAN AND DOWN GOES DAKOTA! Johnson ragdolled to her back by a vicious overhand right from Serinda!"

Cassie (singing): "Turn out the liiiiggghhhtttsss. The party's ooooovvverrrrr...."

O'Dell: "Swan takes a quick look at her handiwork, then turns back to a neutral corner. Referee's count at three. Four. Five. Johnson has not moved an inch since she hit the canvas. Six. Seven. Eight. No question this is academic. Nine. TEN! It's OVER. And you're winner by KO5 in one-punch fashion is 'The Hottest Player In The Game', Serinda Swan!"

McCarthy: "OH, how I HATE her!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Serinda Swan, and, Swanny, you had us wondering for awhile about maybe not being aggressive enough tonight..."

Serinda (nodding): "The game plan was to box this girl. I knew she could box coming in, but, so can I. I like to fight at range, extend on my punches. I knew that, if I stuck with it, sooner or later I'd land a big one. And, I did."

Tess: "You were awfully close to a title shot last year. Looks like you're back in the picture..."

Serinda (smiling): "Looks that way. And, I'm ready any time Blake is!"