The Man In The Hat sits, as usual, in the center of the dais. To his left are Britney Spears, Grace Park, Jewel, and Avril Lavigne. To his right are Gemma Arterton, Neve Campbell, Mariska Hargitay, and Alison Brie.

Man In The Hat: "All right. Let's get to it. Questions. Cable Boy! Go!"

HBO Reporter: "I wouldn't have pointed this out, but the LCA's own head trainer did. Odette Yustman is 0-3 against Front Street..."

Man In The Hat (nodding): "That's true. But, in all fairness, we could fight her three more times, and she could easily be 3-3. Odette's an elite light who has proven she can beat anyone in the division. We've gotten some results, yes. But, we don't have her number or anything. Trust me. If we keep fighting her, these things will regress to the mean. Count on that. Cable Boy II! You're next!"

Showtime Reporter: "You may not have to worry about it, because it seems like LCA is all out of Front Street lights, again, according to their head trainer..."

Man In The Hat: "Well, allow me to say that if they CHOOSE not to fight Torv...just because...or if they CHOOSE not to fight Perry because they consider her a welter, even though she's not, there's not much I can do about that. There's not much I can do about them ignoring Swan because she lost two fights to a girl who then went out and beat Kerr to claim the Ice Hotel...the same Kerr who just beat Decker, who they choose not to ignore, while also ignoring the fact that Swan's beaten top level lights like Wagner, Lima, Rowland, and, yes, Decker, along with a freakin' welter in Rihanna, well, again, there's not much I can do about that. We're here if Yustman wants to fight us, even though, again, we expect a regression to the mean, because we have respect for the kid. Tess, dear. Go ahead."

Tess: "Let's talk about the fight itself. How big a win is this for Gemma?"

Man In The Hat: "It's massive. It puts her right at the top of our lightweight pecking order with Anna...and, perhaps, Katy if she's able to come through on pay-per-view. Either way, Gems and Anna are up there, and that's a good place to be, because the lightweight title is going to be a particular focus of ours for the remainder of 2016. Smackeroo! Take us to dinner!"

Reporter (smiling): "Are you still of the opinion that Biel should get the next shot at Lively?"

Man In The Hat: "As I said, Ginster is no dummy and that's the perfect fight for her kid. We don't plan to do any line cutting in front of Jessica Biel. But. We are in this discussion with two fighters...and, perhaps three...or even four should Kesha come through at Asylum. Because, Big K is ALSO going to be pushed at the lightweight crown, again, if she comes through at Asylum. We've got a third of this year left after this month. And, we're going to spend it chasing the belts at 130. Now. It's dinner time. Tess! Smackey! Limo!"