Rose McGowan, sexy referee outfit looking messier as the night went by, was stuck hauling a second unconscious woman away. With Lisa Nicole Carson's wrists in her hands, the small woman managed to get her up the ramp in spurts, stepping on her hair with impressive rarity. However, she was not quite quick enough to hide the previous match's loser before one of the next fighters made her entrance. Sarah Jessica Parker, clad in a body hugging gold party dress, strutted down the ramp, planting a foot on Carson's stomach on the way without breaking her stride. Carson made a noise to protest, curling up weakly as the never visible, ever present stagehands whisked her away backstage. McGowan, freed up, escorted Parker to the ring, where she immediately kicked her shoes off and began to warm up -- boxing in a sufficiently short skirt might be possible, but the heels were too much.

"I think there were a lot of people calling for our blood a few years back," Parker had stated earlier, referring to herself and Celine Dion. "So I think we stayed out of the ring to avoid that kind of nasty mess. Now that a lot of that has cleared up, it's safe to say that the only blood getting spilled tonight belongs to a certain one hit wonder."

Dion seemed prepared to dispute that claim very firmly. Entering in a green strapless dress, short enough to provide the required leg mobility, she glared at Parker as she strode down the ramp. "I've enjoyed the opportunities I've gotten as a boxer. It's always been quite a thrill to step into the ring! But I don't want to spend too much time dwelling on the past... especially when my future contains Sarah, fast asleep at my feet."

Round 1:
Dion, with enough of a reach advantage to play keep away all night, predictably worked hard to do exactly that in the opening. Parker, not at all enjoying the firm but conservative taps striking her face while Dion was safely out of reach, was only cooperative briefly. Engaging Dion on her own terms, and paying a price to do so, the actress eventually overwhelmed the singer and punched through her defenses. Parker's reward was Dion's face, twisting up in pain as she took a hard punch to the gut and wilted away briefly. While it was a difficult round for both women, Parker seemed to manage to pull ahead overall, helpful in the unlikely event that points effected a result at Punchfest '15.

Round 2:
With the two women's roles firmly established for all to see, Dion settled into hers more comfortably in the second round. Striking from a distance, fading away when pressured, and generally being a persistent but low intensity thorn in Parker's side, the tall singer had found her niche. The crowd responded unfavorably, but at the end of the round, Parker was stomping her foot and sulking in her corner, while Dion was relaxed and confident, even managing a comfortable smile amidst the booing onlookers.

Round 3:
Up against a potentially long, painful slog, Parker made a push in the third round, with mixed results. As usual, Dion collected the usual toll when Parker attacked, knocking the actress' head back once and forcing her to reconsider her plan. However, Parker persisted, rushing Dion for a second try and dealing with the taller woman's defenses more efficiently. Dion, mid swing, caught Parker's right hand on her jaw, and had to step back to keep her balance. Making the best of the situation, Dion returned fire, landing a left hook that left Parker shaken, and combined with Dion's forceful follow up, was enough to deter the actress for the moment. Another small win for Dion, though it was obvious that both women were in a precarious position.

Round 4:
After two bad rounds in a row, Parker was playing for a big change of fortune. Despite being relatively unhurt, the actress was unlikely to win by allowing her rival to nickle and dime her to death, and more unlikely to make a comeback the longer she allowed her descent to continue. Ducking and weaving, Parker slipped past Dion's punch, taking the brief opportunity to land a hook to the taller woman's midsection. The singer started to counter attack, then bent at the waist, lips drawn back in pain as her punch fell short. Parker, with plenty of space, put her weight behind an uppercut that struck Dion's chin, leaving the singer off balance and taking several steps backward to stay on her feet. Knocked off her perch, Dion made a desperate attempt to turn it around, throwing her weight behind a counterattack strong enough to stop the rampaging actress and even the odds, but again, Parker had the energy to zip past and hammer her injured opponent's midsection. From there, Dion went into freefall, ending the round in the corner, covering her face as Parker threw heavy swings at her head.

Round 5:
After spending her break staring straight ahead, leaning against the corner post, Dion haphazardly charged Parker at the bell, putting all of her energy into one wild right handed swing. Taking the one in a million shot goes predictably for Dion; Parker could often outmaneuver her at her best, and she was far from her best. The taller singer's fist flew past Parker's head harmlessly as she leaned to the side, counterattacking and allowing Dion's momentum to carry her into the blow. Dion's fist and Parker's fist collided like a couple of trains, the singer sagging weakly to the side and vainly trying to cover herself in the aftermath. The actress' quick follow up punch put a stop to that, knocking her back again and this time sending her flat on her back. Dion's legs splayed apart and bounced into the air at the impact, compromising her modesty badly for an instant -- fighting in a dress always made the stakes high. McGowan counted as Parker turned away, raising her fists, her toned arms clearly not merely decorative. Surely enough, the result was KO5 Parker.

Sarah Jessica Parker took a minute or two to even acknowledge her struggling opponent. She was busy posing for the crowd at each corner post, making the full victory lap before coming back to McGowan. Watching Dion groan and roll back and forth, Parker placed her foot on the beaten woman's chest and held her against the canvas. Dion looked up, wide eyed, grabbing Parker's foot and uselessly trying to push it up. Parker, shouting something and snarling down at Dion, shoved her foot down harder before stepping away. Dion nodded meekly, rolling over and bringing her face to Parker's foot, giving it the most tentative kiss possible before pulling away. Not satisfactory -- Parker shook her head, folded her arms, and turned up her nose, and McGowan helpfully pounced on Dion's back, grabbing the shrieking woman by the hair and forcing her face down into Parker's foot. Moments later, Dion was face down on the ground, hands covering her eyes and shaking, while Parker and McGowan exchanged air kisses before the victorious woman's exit.

"She's stuck up, but she's a terrible fighter. It's a bad combination!" commented Sarah Jessica Parker. "I know for a fact that she was bragging about her superior fitness before I ruined her in front of everybody. But she hits like a kid! It's pathetic!" Dion was silent on the topic of a rematch publicly, but rumor has it that Punchaholics Anonymous was still calling her, and she was still picking up.