The Man In The Hat sits, as usual, at the center of the dais. To his left are Leven Rambin, Kesha, Antje Utgaard, Mariska Hargitay, Jewel, and Grace Park. To his right sit Pink, Allison Mack, Leighton Meester, Britney Spears, Neve Campbell, and Avril Lavigne.



Man In The Hat: "All right, as usual, before we get to questions, there are some people I want to thank. Let's start with Beever's Babes. Haven't had them here for awhile, and that was a mistake. They'll be back, sooner rather than later. This is a talented group that always provides good fighters and great fights. Again, you'll see them back here soon. And, of course, our friends at Bazz, the OTHER home team at the Asylum. That was some kind of battle tonight, and that's what you get when Bazz girls step in the ring. Every. Single. Time. Let's also not forget about our indie girls, the backbone of the Asylum. And, last but certainly not least, the FCBA Commission for sanctioning these fights and making Asylum possible. Now. Questions. Cable Boy. Go!"



HBO Reporter: "A great night all around, but, Pink's loss has to be disappointing..."



Man In The Hat: "Only in the sense that she might have been in the title picture and now she isn't. As for the rest of it, not so much. She fought well, she just got caught. That happens in the FCBA. The reality is, the other girl is a fighter, too, and you can lose any time you step between the ropes. And, this girl, Raymund. Well. We're on record for the last three years as saying she's been on our short list. You saw why. That being said, it was quite an upset, sure. But. Those happen in the FCBA. I can remember when Kunis was considered a joke of a fighter, 2-11 career, and beat Krissy Bell on the beach. The whole federation was stunned. How about when Cassandra Lynn, with all of four fights to her credit, knocked out Hayden in three? Huge upsets. At the time. Later it looked different. Says here, if this girl gets opportunities, this will look like less of an upset later..."



HBO Reporter: "But, right now, it's huge..."



Man In The Hat: "Absolutely. But, keep in mind Pinkness' last loss was nearly three years ago. So, we'll give her a pass on this one, what do you think?"



(Laughter)



HBO Reporter: "On a happier note, Allison got back on track tonight..."



Man In The Hat (nodding): "Sure did, and that's what champions like Allison do. You have a disappointing result, you get back to work, you get back in the ring, and you get things moving in the right direction again, which is exactly what Pinkness will do. Cable Boy II! Go!"



Showtime Reporter: "Utgaard continues to impress..."



Man In The Hat (nodding): "She does. We're seeing exactly what we wanted to see from Antje. All the pieces are there, and they're slowly coming together. I think we've got a special welter there. Very special. Brunette Magazine! Let's hear a question!"



Brunette Magazine Reporter: "Leighton Meester has broken through in a big way this year..."



Man In The Hat: "She has. It took Front Street a long time to have a flyweight break into the top echelon. And, now we have two..."



Brunette Magazine Reporter: "Co-number ones? Leighton and Stewart?"



Man In The Hat: "If you mean in the pecking order...I'd say that's pretty close to accurate. Tess, dear, go ahead..."



Tess: "I might be completely sold on Rambin..."



(Laughter)



Man In The Hat: "Good. Because I am. This is a girl who had a job to do when this year started. And, she's done it. She's proven not just that she belongs here, but that she can beat top-level bantams. I'm very pleased with what Leven's done in 2016. This was a big year for her. And she's made the very best of it. Smackeroo! Dinner time. Take us there!"



Reporter: "Speaking of girls who've had a big year. Kesha...."



Man In The Hat (nodding): "Yes. Yes she has. See, you're allowed to talk around here. But, you have to back it up. Now, Kesha, you don't mind chirpin' in Old Wiz's ear now and then, do you?"



Kesha (smiling): "No. Not at all."



Man In The Hat: "She liked to remind Old Wiz that, when she was up at welter, she actually did OK, and that we shouldn't have pulled her out of the division. So. We agreed to give her a chance up there. But. She had to back up the talk. Well. Four knockouts later, knockouts including Rihanna, who, you might remember, has victories over two welterweight champions, Theron and Bloodgood, and Moon herself, I'd say she's backed it up..."



Reporter: "Are you pushing her at the lightweight title?"



Man In The Hat: "We are. Now. Dinner time! Tess! Smackey! Limo!"