Post by Lookout! Boxing on Oct 28, 2016 at 2:00am

RACHEL MCADAMS  VS BRITNEY SPEARS

Results: Lookout    Writing: Archer

Rachel:  37 YO, 5’4 (1.63 m),  46-34-1 since 2005, Foxfire Boxing
Britney: 34 YPO, 5’4 (1.63), 91-51-0 since 1999, Hour Glass/Front Street

Before: “I will admit it,” says Rachel McAdams at the prefight meeting with the press, “Britney has been a thorn in my side. I lost to her in 2008. I lost to her in 2010. I lost to her in 2012. This is just not acceptable to me. So here I am in 2016 and looking to beat her for the first time. I can tell you. I am going to be very motivated in this fight. No way do I lose to anyone FOUR times!”

Britney Spears just smiles and says: “I don’t claim it will be easy, but I would love beating you again. Is it true you’re going to have my dear friend Dani Fishel in your corner?”

“I might have talked to her about you. We’re in the same gym all the time,” Rachel said uncomfortably.

“You know I am always up for another fight with Dani,” Britney said, “she/s ahead of me 4-5-1 and I want to even things up one of these days.”

“Unfortunately, you’ll have to settle for me,” Rachel said sarcastically.

“Oh, you’ll do just swell,” Britney assured her. “What are you coming as?”

“Coming as? Oh! My costume. Well, now that you mention it, I thought I’d come as a cheerleader. You now ‘ON FOXFIRE HIGH!’.”

“You can’t,” Britney said flatly.

“Why not?” Rachel demanded.

“Because I’m going to be a cheerleader,” Britney announced.

“Screw you! I’ll wear what I want and you can just shake your pom poms at it!” Rachel snapped.

“I got better pom poms than you, anyway!” Britney fired back, patting her chest.

Rachel glared at the singer: “We’ll see how good they look after I’m done with them!”

“I’m scared now!” Britney sneered. “You just wish you had the rack I do!”

Rachel seized a water pitcher and threw it into Britney’s white cotton top: “Go find a wet tee shirt contest!”

Britney shot out her chair and tackled Rachel in an impressive fashion, but the auburn haired Canadian managed to get her legs up and send the blonde flying. Britney was on her feet when she was suddenly grabbed from behind.

“Come on, Brit, save it for our next press conference,” Danielle Fishel said.

“Let go of me, Fishel!” Britney howled. “She started it.”

“Yes, but you insulted her chest. You should know better than that!”

“Okay, okay, let go of me and I’ll leave. But you—McAdams—you will pay for this!” Britney snarled at Rachel McAdams who was leaning against a chair looking down at her blouse which had been
shredded in the melee.

“Just leave,” Dani said and guided her to the wings before releasing her. With one last angry look at Rachel McAdams, Britney Spears departed.

“I think I’m going to need some more advice,” Rachel said to Dani.

“My first advice is don’t get into a catfight with Britney Spears. She fights dirty, you’re lucky only your clothes got shredded,” Dani said.

“I’ll bear that in mind in the future. I don’t suppose her dirty catfighting bothers you?” Rachel asked.

“Naw,” Dani replied,  “I fight even dirtier. Now come on, let’s get back to the gym. I got some ideas to go over—and just concentrate on thinking: “I CAN BEAT BRIT! I CAN BEAT BRIT!”

Rachel laughed at that and the two Foxfire boxers departed the room.

On the night of the PPV, Rachel McAdams makes a dramatic entrance in a black two-piece cheerleader with black cheer briefs. Across the front in blood red letters VHS and on the back in matching blood red letters VAMPIRE HIGH CHEER SQUAD. She is waving black and blood pom poms with her blood red gloves and black laces (boots are red with black laces). Rachel sporting auburn hair with a black ribbon securing it.

Then Britney Spears makes her entrance. She wearing a gold and white two piece cheerleader outfit (golden cheer briefs) with the white letters BCC on the back in white is BRITNEY CHEER CHAMP. Britney is wear golden gloves and boots with white laces. Her hair is in double pigtails as she bounces to the ring and waves to her fans.


Once in the ring the rival “cheerleaders” look each other up and down. “Well, if I’d known you were coming as a vampire cheerleader I would have come up with something like “VAMP SLAYER HIGH”, but you’re one evil vampire whose headed for a staking—or at least a knockdown,” Britney commented with a smirk.

“That’s all right, we vampire cheerleaders just love chomping down on you peaches and cream cheer-meals, but I’ll settle for punching you out,” Rachel said.

The crowd loved this and it did allow for enough eased tension for the ring preliminaries to proceed smoothly. Soon enough the fighters were in their corners and the bell rang.

R1:  Rachel showing early aggression by moving on Britney and attacking her to the body. Britney reacts coolly, showing some nice footwork to evade Rachel and then striking back hard to McAdams’ jaw. Rachel seems stunned by the jaw shots and Britney quick to mover in on her with lightning hooks to the Foxfire boxer’s stomach. Rachel knocked back on her heels and looking confused. Britney drives her back to the ropes and only Rachel’s frequent clinching keeps from being trapped on the strands. Britney then strikes back at Rachel’s head and when she ducks down, Brit feasts on McAdams midsection. Rachel twisting, trying to stay away and is generally on the defensive to the bell. No eyebrows are raised when the round goes to Britney Spears wide.

R2: Britney  goes right back Rachel as this round gets started. Rachel again having trouble handling the quick-moving blonde’s alternating head and body attacks. Britney moving around Rachel and herding the beleaguered McAdams towards the ropes. This Rachel finds herself taking a seat on the ropes as Britney pounds away at her. Rachel covering her face finally manages to the clinch, but Brit taking advantage to sneak a couple of uppies into Rachel’s chin before referee separates them. Rachel struggling to keep Britney off her, finally manages to get her jab going and gives Britney some nasty smacks to the face. Britney backing off dripping blood from a split lip and a startled look on her face, Nevertheless this goes down as  a round won wide for Britney.

R3: Dani Fishel seen in the McAdams corner. No one can hear her, but she seems to be trying to calm her down. As the bell rings, she gives Rachel a friendly pat on the cheer briefs and her off to face Britney. This time Rachel is able to use her own footwork and put some quick rights and lefts into Brit’s face. Britney trying to evade, but Rachel now eagerly putting on the pressure. She’s bobbing and weaving as she strikes at Britney’s jugs and flicks quick clips to the blonde’s chin. Now Britney is the one looking dazed and confused, but she fights back and does land some good counters to Rachel’s head. Rachel, her bell rung, slows up and allows Britney to stabilize her defenses as they finish the round. Rachel does have the satisfaction of winning her first round by a good margin.

R4: Britney and Rachel both aggressive early on this round. Quick head punching from both fighters leave both shaken, but Rachel comes out of it first and goes to Britney’s tummy with thumping hooks, Britney grunting is discomfort, but is sluggish in her response. This allows Rachel to shift her attack to striking the underside of Britney’s breasts and then up to rattle her chin. Britney shuddering as she pulls back and struggles to get her jab going. Rachel pouring on the leather for what seems like an awfully long time, but then Britney strikes back with the jab, Rachel’s attack is blunted and again Britney able to stabilize herself late. However once again round has gone to Rachel McAdams wide.

R5:  Britney now challenging Rachel at the outset and she works hard to attack Rachel’s torso. Rachel fighting back with more body punching, but Britney absorbing it and still keeping up th counter pressure. They are now very close together and using short stroking punches from piston-like elbow movement to attack. Rachel starts to lose power late and Britney now able to get some late short right uppercuts into the McAdams jaw. Rachel hanging on, but her punch rate is dropping just enough for Britney to pull out a close win on the cards as the round comes to a close.

R6: Rachel and Britney resume the close in battle for control as the fight reaches its sixth inning. More of the same short, hard strokes to body (with Britney’s jugs an additional target for Rachel, which Brit counters to Rachel’s smaller chest though with less evident effect). This tight battle of attrition rages on until Rachel suddenly steps to one side which pulls Britney off balance and Rachel plows a right into the side of the blonde’s head. Brit spins around and clips Rachel on the jaw. Both fighters pause to clear their heads and start punching. Rachel going after Britney’s head with bouncing punches, Britney seems distracted by this and pulls back. Rachel lunging after the retreating blonde gets in some more hard body shots as the bell sounds. Rachel and Britney both breathing hard, stare at each other before moving to their corners. Judges decide to give it to Rachel McAdams by a close margin.

R7:  Britney seems determined to regain control of this fight and goes after Rachel hard. Rachel dodging and weaving as Brit tries to swarm her. Britney starting the lunge as she heaves her punches and when one right whistles passed Rachel’s ear, she has already launched a right of her own that catches Britney smack on the temple. LIGHTS OUT BRITNEY SPEARS! Crowd gasps in shock as Britney just goes limp and crashes onto her side before rolling over on her back. Even Rachel McAdams stands there looking surprised before referee pushes her away to the neutral corner. Britney struggling to get up but her body is clearly on listening to anything her brain is ordering. She is one knocked out cheerleader as the referee finishes the formalities.

THE WINNER: RACHEL MCADAMS KO7

After: “I admit I was shocked, but that can happen if you land just the right punch and I did,” Rachel McAdams says later. “I was relieved that they were able to revive her and she’s all right. And, yes, this was a very satisfying win. I needed a good win after losing to my title fight with Claire Danes and this was it. Oh, and Brit, if you are hearing this, Dani says she hopes you get well soon. I think we both know what that means!”

Britney Spears was, of course, very disappointed in the outcome: “I was well on my way to beating Rachel. I just got impatient and tries to rush her a little too much. She saw an opening when I did that—and it was the end of the night for me! I am not at all happy about it. Yes, I heard about Dani’s ‘message’—I might have known she’d get a third party to do it. As for what she’s hinting at—well, my management and I will discuss a fight between us. We’ll see what is decided. She’s going to regret it because I am determined not to lose my next fight whether it is with her or someone else! Losing sucks!”

Back and forth fight with Rachel and Britney in control at different points in the bout. It could well be that the two were so closely matched tonight that it took only one mistake by Britney to leave her knocked out and Rachel McAdams the winner. It actually should be encouraging for both fighters. They both clearly have plenty of boxing action left in them and fights to come should be very watchable.