Post by Lookout! Boxing on Oct 28, 2016 at 1:34am

Iggy Azalea versus Beyonce

(Words: WW / Results: Lookout!)

BEFORE: Two rappers: one experienced in the FCBA, and one just starting as of this year. Iggy Azalea and Beyonce Knowles should make for an interesting matchup!

“Yeah, Beyonce’s cool and all, but let’s look at the facts for a second. I’m nine years younger, nine times hotter, and for every one song and album she sells, I sell nine more!” Iggy says, smirking. “Okay, that last one’s not accurate, as much as I wish it was. But I do know for a fact that I really am nine times stronger, faster, and smarter than she is when it comes to the ring! I like her as a musician and all, but when it comes to asserting who’s the best, push is gonna come to shove and show that it’s me. Plus, I’m sure having a beaten up Beyonce as your new phone background gets you a lot of cred: so I’m not taking it easy on her!”

“Iggy needs to learn a little more respect,” Beyonce says with a sneer. “It’s obvious she means well, but despite being 26, she’s still a dumb kid. I haven’t boxed in a while, but I’ve already shaken off the ring rust. I’m not going to be some prop for her to humiliate: I’m going to be the girl that shows her humility.”

Iggy’s wearing an Australian flag bikini and dark blue hot pants combination with blue gloves, while Beyonce is wearing a black one piece swimsuit with red gloves.

ROUND 1: Both girls aren't interested in playing careful: they're interested in causing the hurt! Iggy charges forward, with big gut shots to Beyonce! Beyonce comes back by smacking Iggy with her left, but Iggy's throwing the quicker punches and landing just a little more! Beyonce's strong right scared the Aussie off just a little bit, but Iggy's now out of range, prodding away at Beyonce with careful precision and speedy hands! Beyonce’s trying to make the connection, but the bigger and longer Iggy just keeps her away! Iggy’s still doing good for herself, keeping Beyonce at bay, and then Beyonce dodges another hit and makes a huge connection to the right breast! As Iggy tries to retaliate, Beyonce lets the next punch slide right by with her arm and puts the pain on Iggy! It’s not enough to make her flinch, though, and Iggy lands a left hook and a right hook to close out the round! The bell rings, and we’re already off to a huge start! Iggy takes it by a hair.

ROUND 2: The round starts off with a very careful Beyonce trying to avoid Iggy’s wrath, and she’s doing good! Iggy really wants to break that guard, but she’s not doing enough to really manage it; Beyonce taking aim with an uppercut to the stomach! The two go right back to brawling; so much for that careful approach! It seems like Iggy has the reach advantage, but Beyonce seems like she hardly cares considering how close she gets to Iggy with rapid left hands! No matter how much Azalea punishes Knowles, the girl’s just powering right through! The only thing that gets her to stop is Iggy’s haymaker, which sends her stumbling away, but still giving Iggy a serious glare, as if to say “You think THAT’S gonna stop me?” Beyonce goes right for Iggy’s chest and ribs, the quick and powerful left-rights finding their mark and catching Iggy off guard! Beyonce seals the round for herself with a quick set of jabs, taking the point lead!

ROUND 3: It looks like Beyonce’s gonna stick with that aggressive approach: Iggy does have the advantage, but now that she sees that Beyonce hardly cares about it, she’s gonna have to go back to being careful! Iggy’s light on her feet, swinging at Beyonce with both gloves and then getting away at the last second. Beyonce’s good at parrying and dodging, though, she just needs to avoid Iggy’s raw power and athletics: easier said that done as the Aussie comes barreling at her. But she still manages to keep herself afloat as she peppers Azalea right in the face! Iggy looking angry trying to fight her, and SLIDES RIGHT THROUGH Beyonce’s guard! She’s trying to force herself upon Iggy, but once she gets caught, she quickly realizes that’s a bad idea! Iggy hits her in the sides, and it looks like she’s ready to tear up Beyonce, but NO! Beyonce powers out again! She and Iggy are trading hits, but Beyonce comes through as she lands a 1-2 right before the bell rings! Beyonce stays afloat, making her younger opponent grow impatient and frustrated.

ROUND 4: Beyonce Knowles keeps going strong, looking desperately to make a dent in the seemingly relentless Iggy Azalea. Iggy barrels forward, and Beyonce doesn’t bother to overpower her; she ducks the shot, and punishes Iggy with an uppercut! That seems to stun her, so Beyonce tries dealing some more damage: really laying into her, with no retaliation in sight. She keeps going, and Iggy comes in with ANOTHER haymaker! These two are showing the power of blunt and brute force along with strategy and endurance. Iggy jabs Beyonce, and gets jabbed right back! Beyonce comes for Iggy’s head once—twice—three times! Iggy ducks all three strong shots, and leans forward with a massive right to send Beyonce into a corner! Iggy comes in to bash Beyonce’s face, but she finds herself getting pounded hard in the gut! Which one of these two is gonna give up?! We’re not going to find out, because the bell rings to save these two from seriously hurting each other! The points are checked, and Iggy takes it! Beyonce in shock, now just as frustrated as Iggy was prior as she’s sure something is off! It’s a wild match, but Beyonce hasn’t lost yet: at the rate these two are going, there’s gotta be a knockout at some point!

ROUND 5: Iggy comes forward, angry and going straight for Beyonce’s head! This isn’t wise: Beyonce sees it coming from a mile away and lays the hurt on Iggy! Maybe she was right about Iggy being unwise: while these two both aren’t playing careful, Iggy running in like she did was not a smart move! The right that catches her makes the Australian rapper stumble, and Beyonce doesn’t give her the chance to rest! An unanswered response as Beyonce wallops Iggy over and over, the ref ready to step in, but a stomach punch makes Iggy collapse onto the canvas! I think it’s over, folks. The ref steps in, starts counting. Iggy Azalea not responding at the count of 4. Beyonce takes in the cheers, her second complimenting her work…and Iggy gets up at 8!! Iggy looks absolutely furious! Beyonce caught off guard, and so’s the crowd! Iggy hardly lets the ref give the word “go” to get back into the action. Iggy comes forward, going full force even though she can’t possibly win this round back that easily after a knockdown! Beyonce gets pushed back to the ropes, and as predicted, the bell rings. But how is she gonna deal with Iggy next round? Very carefully, hopefully!

ROUND 6: Beyonce does go on the defensive, and Iggy doesn’t learn her lesson because she’s still going full on aggressive! Beyonce looks to counter, ready to put Iggy down, but as soon as she throws the counter punch Iggy FEINTS HER! Beyonce was ready for the wrong punch as a right to the cheek connects! Followed by a nasty left to the breast! Iggy goes for a full upper and mid assault: working from the guts to the ribs as she leaves Beyonce gasping for air and in need of mercy! She tries to throw retaliating hands at Iggy, but Iggy dodges and comes right back in to overwhelm Beyonce and floor her! The ref starts counting, Iggy hyped up as she celebrates back in her corner and pounding her gloves together…4…5…6…7! Beyonce back up at 7! MY GOD! Neither of these two are gonna give it up! Beyonce and Iggy finally reach an understanding of viciousness and aggression, the two ready to brawl, and doing so until the round ends! The two are at an equal level of anger, injury, and strength right now! How is this match going to end?!

ROUND 7: Both just charge at each other, almost animalistic in nature! At this point, it’s just a full on battle of endurance: who’s gonna fall over first?! Iggy working on that injured midsection, but Beyonce keeps throwing those retaliating uppercuts that rattle Iggy’s head and leave her stunned! It seems like neither can power over the other one, both bashing each other equally! Iggy takes a moment to step back, letting Beyonce whiff her shot! Iggy fires off, but Beyonce’s blocking that! The two trade rights to the head, lefts to the breast, and—OH! Beyonce’s uppercut misses completely!! Iggy fires back as she ducks low and connects with one of her own! Beyonce practically flies off her feet and collapses onto the canvas! Iggy smiles and hops back to her corner in joy! The ref steps in…counting…Beyonce simply isn’t moving! Or if she is, it’s not by much! Aaaand…it’s over! BEYONCE IS OUT! KO7 Iggy Azalea!

AFTER: The Australian girl is ecstatic! “That’s right, bytch! You might think you’re tough, but Iggy Azalea is the best rapper in the game and the best boxer in the FCBA! WOOO-HOOO!” she shouts at the top of her lungs to a crowd chanting “IG-GY! IG-GY! IG-GY!”

She lifts the stunned, drooling Beyonce, flexing her muscle and winking at the camera, and plenty of people are snapping pictures, alongside her partner in her corner Arianna Grande! She lets Beyonce drop to the ground, and raises her hands high in the hair as she struts out of the ring victorious!