Jugs Of Mass Destruction

Gemma Merna vs Lacey Banghard
(12-16-1, 10 KO vs 6-2, 6 KO)

(Lookout! Atlantic Boxing vs This Is Glamour)

JMD Value: 30G (Enhanced) vs 30G (Natural)

BEFORE: A new dispute in the land of the buxom women is brewing these days and while Gemma Merna has long stated she owns the best rack on the TV soap opera order of merit, Lacey Banghard claims to elevate herself among the divisional elite, something that was taken away from her when she lost the intra-TIG battle royale against Kelly Hall earlier this year.

BBU TV's Kate Abdo is quick to point out that both these girls should be somewhat overshadowed by fellow peers, Banghard's loss to Hall was well documented but Merna's epic punchout demise against Michelle Keegan two years ago shouldn't be ignored at all either. There are plenty of lads around UK who think Keegan remains the absolute JMD benchmark but now that she's occupied over in America, Merna can channel her past flyweight championship attire and battle it out for the interim accolades. She knocked out the dangerous Maria Ozawa back in June in what probably was her most impressive victory since the TKO stoppage over Emilia Clarke from 2012 and that earns her slightly better pre-fight odds compared to Banghard coming off two loses in the last twelve months. However one should never place your bets too high in a classic JMD-themed slugfest that tends to throw up surprises all over the place and Merna has suffered her share of upsets since losing the flyweight straps. Kate Abdo suspects most of the new BBU fans probably don't even remember her divisional reign during the summer of 2011 but a win over Banghard would sure remind them of the Hollyoaks stalwart's undeniable prospects - without focusing on the cleavage numbers.

Gemma Merna wears a pink bikini set and white gloves. Long blonde hair straight. Lacey Banghard wears a navy blue bikini set with black trim and golden gloves. Long dark brown hair straight. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the flyweight division. JMD rules apply.

Round 1:
Both girls are proud owners of a 30G pair of jugs but of course Gemma needed a self-described confidence-boosting plastic surgery to become one; this draws instant wrath from the all-natural brunette who vows to send her into Samia Ghadie slughead territory and begins her rushing attack with incredible force. She thumps the blonde's set with a flurry of uppercuts and stacks her up in the center of the ring during the opening minute but Merna's one tawdry blonde operator who's willing to do anything to make the JMD fans forget about Michelle Keegan. She digs her elbows into Lacey's tummy just trying to unsettle her a bit before lashing out from each side and connecting with Banghard's jugs herself. Both women settle into a high-octane dispute that only results in the Wembley Arena audience being the real winner; a trigger-happy jug pounding is the way to go these days and the effort of both hellcats is truly admireable, they even render Kate Abdo silent in the BBU TV booth as the tactical approach - or lack thereof - erases all the conventional wisdom. Just lay it into those jugs as hard as you can and both girls can soak up plenty thus far; they lock each other into a wrestling struggle come the dying seconds and Gemma performs a hip toss to tackle the brunette to the boards before twerking her enhaced set to the crowd just as the bell brings the heated action to a close. Lacey is livid with the Hollyoaks blonde but gets wrestled back to her corner by the ref where TIG manager Melina Messenger tries to calm her down during the break.

Round 2:
Another close range tangle enables Merna to channel the past championship glory even though that didn't have anything to do with the jug muggin' protocol. She leans on the glamour babe and nearly headbutts her in the proccess but more importantly, she lifts the natutal 30G set straight into Banghard's chin and keeps plugging away until the brunette has to yield real estate amid first signs of a brewing frustration. Lacey smacks the charging blonde against the mouth and earns an earful from the ref to keep it strictly business but Gemma quickly thumps her back to the corner anyway and dominates the uppercut exchange during the second minute. "You bytch!", Lacey loses her temper but just fails to stop the blonde's rush and settles into a clinching respite yet Merna pierces her ribcage in emphatic fashion and presses her enhanced mounds into the slumped chin effectively trying to smother the glamour model on her feet! The bell halts the emphatic action and Nicole Richie's all smiles up in the stands while Melinda Messenger pounds the stool in visible frustration.

Round 3:
Lacey receives a grand old talking to during the interval but she just can't outmuscle the rampant blonde in close range and slumps into another jug-busting series early in the third. Gemma screams out in her efforts to whitewash the dark-haired foe and staggers her on the heels with a swift piercing drive on the solar plexus that makes Banghard ache out her loudest just past the minute mark. Gemma shoves her back with a classic jug-to-jug bump move and slams a left hook into the windpipe that sends Lacey into a gurgling struggle, the brunette can't catch her breath for a moment and there's Gemma blitzing her boobs with another leather drive... Oi, Lacey! The glamour model slumps on wobbly knees and gets wrapped up in a monster drill that dissects her guard and allows the actress to haul more crisp strikes against the navy blue bikini top... Lacey stumbles to the side but finds no escape and then gets drilled by another powerful jab on the solar plexus that SENDS HER CRASHING DOWN ON HER BACKSIDE... "Oh yeah, stay down you filthy whore!", Merna twerks her enhanced boobs and shouts at the fallen brunette but Banghard is anything but done here and only takes her time before getting up at eight: "That's all U got, tramp?" she screams at the Hollyoaks' finest and charges at Merna so both girls tangle in another close range war of attrition but this time the blonde can't steer her shots into the solar plexus anymore and in fact eats a late series on the ribcage as Banghard is on her toes trying to mount a comeback. She indicates she's all OK after that knockdown after the bell but Gemma reckons otherwise and vows to blow her jugs away to the orbit in the next round!

Round 4:
Merna's eyes are glued to the brunette's boobs and she lifts 'em up in another frantic jabbing rush but Lacey ignores the looming pain inside her guts and powers through on the blonde's liver area which briefly halts the Hollyoaks attack before a sinking uppercut on the jaw catches Gemma cold and allows the TIG model to bury her under a proper midriff barrage. Lacey leans so far forward she tags her opponent's nose with her forehead and bends Merna to the side but a left hook bounces off the right cup and follows through on the chin again to make the real difference in a hurry. Ugh! Merna tries to adjust her footing but gets bombed to the jugs with a leather flood and drops on her heels as suddely the brunette sways her enhanced mounds straight against her chin and turns up the wick even further come the final minute. Merna must yield the real estate here but gets shoved into the ropes looking second-best and fails to escape the renowed PageThree heat. Lacey didn't bother to apply for the Samantha Fox-run stable and she gives prime evidence as to why that's exactly the case. She hammers in more jabbing menace from point-blank range and leaves the "plastic blonde" yelping in pain at the bell with Nicole Richie screaming out something in frustration up in the stands.

Round 5:
Gemma's JMD fuse is somewhat short to say the very least and she wastes no time in another hectic approach but Lacey outworks her in close range thanks to a spirited drive aimed at the liver area that finds it's way around the blonde's elbows and wobbles her into a follow up drill on the boobs. Merna slumps against the brunette's shoulder but gets stacked up with a nasty harpoon on the liver and Banghard shows some core strenght wrestling the actress back to the ropes where she sticks her elbow into the solar plexus and whips a double combo on the chin to leave Merna woozy amid a desperate cry from Nicole Richie to "obey the damn JMD rules". Ref turns a blind eye though and just lets them have it but the lack of his call allows Banghard to dominate the subsequent action as she ravages the blonde's mounds from point-blank range and lifts those plastic 30Gs against the slumped chin! Gemma's unable to respond to the task and leans over the ropes with her arms succumbing to the pressure so that the final minute has the TIG babe raining punches like skittles and threatening to remove the pink bikini top from her opponent's breasts. Merna wilts under the barrage and screams out in pain yet the brunette hauls in more blows even after the bell and the ref is late to respond as he allows Lacey to sink three jabs afterwards which leads Nicole Richie into heading down ringside to salvage some Lookout pride here!

Round 6:
Major concerns in the Lookout corner over the shape of Gemma's bikini top but the proud blonde is visibly affected by that Banghard leather rush in the fifth and barely recovers her breath in time for another test of attrition. She tries to hang back in mid distance as long as she can but Lacey's in a red mist mode now and charges at the actress with another rack-busting assault. A brief uppercut drill drops the blonde's coverage but a piercing hook to the liver does the most damage anyway and bends Merna into an awkward position that is soon exposed by another uppercut that bounce off the jugs and follows through on the nose. Ugh! Gemma's legs buckle on the spot and Banghard lands a Hank Aaron-style homer straight between the cups. This shot simply RAGDOLLS THE BLONDE ONTO HER BUMS and makes Melinda Messenger gesture at Nicole Richie in classic "throat-slit" motion. Merna's recovery is nowhere near as efficient as Lacey's from the third round and the energy supply needs instant shot of oxygen as the Hollyoaks bombshell finally gets up at eight but wobbles herself against the ropes. The ref gives her extra time to catch her breath but Banghard threatens to ignore the command and the bout must be resumed before the TIG entourage riots the Wembley Arena down! Unfortunately for the Lookouts, Gemma's a sitting duck now and fails to stop the brunette blasting her cleavage apart from both flanks... this is a fury in the slaughterhouse as Lacey intends to punch the blonde foe topless and just destroys the fellow 30G set swaying it all over the place as Merna just gives up the ghost while getting battered into stupor on her feet. She's pushed against the ropes with her eyes closed and screams out her loudest while the glamour babe just keeps wrecking her rack.. just no way back from this one but the referee refuses to stop the fight and prefers to see the banged up blonde just SLIDE DOWN ON HER BUMS for the second time... It's all frickin' over! Merna collapses on her left side in complete numbness and Nicole Richie is ready to enter the ring to contest some of the calls here until she's wrestled down by the security crew. Sour grapes or not it's KO6 Lacey Banghard in controversial come-from-behind fashion.

AFTER: Things are getting ugly now as Lacey places her foot on the fallen blonde's boobs but turns her attention to the Lookout Atlantic's manager soon afterwards as Nicole runs around to the other side of the ring and tries to drag Melinda Messnger by the hair: "Oh no, you don't!", Lacey jumps from the ring and tries to smother the blonde enemy WWE-style but only tiggers a three-way catfight after Nicole actually lands a classic uppercut to Melinda's jaw and sends her tumbling into the front seats. Such a shame Frankie Coccozza isn't present here in the Wembley Arena tonight to help out these feuding hellcats! Lacey still has her gloves on so threatens to take out Nicole with a single punch but gets tacked head-first by Richie and Kate Abdo calls for this dubious entertainment action to stop or just cut back to the commercials: "This isn't AJ Lee going versus Bayley or anything! Order a rematch if you're upset about the result!"

Meanwhile while the security crew tries to separate Nicole and Lacey scrapping down on the ground, Melinda Messenger makes her way to the ring proper and grabs a piece of Gemma Merna's bikini top to rip it off much to the crowd's delight. The Hollyoaks girl remains buried in a vicious KO daze and fails to acknowledge the fact her rack is under threat to go all topless until it's too late and Messenger spanks her bare breasts for several seconds afterwards with the BBU TV cameras purely focused on that X-rated stuff. Kate Abdo isn't the biggest fan of the JMD-humiliation protocol and finally hits the killswitch button in order to focus on the highly-touted Main Event but it probably doesn't make any difference to Merna's damaged reputation now. She got badly exposed by a Page Three legend-turned-BBU elite contender and it's never a good thing to end the fight down on your side with someone else spanking your bare breasts silly. Even Samia Ghadie would be ashamed of that outcome... we think!

Final result: Lacey Banghard def. Gemma Merna KO6