Post by Lookout! Boxing on Nov 25, 2016 at 5:07pm

Ginny's Academy vs. Beever's Babes 'House Thorne' (results:Lookout/fight:simgrrl)

[Beever's Babes represented by Rihanna and Gemma Atkinson & Remy Thorne (corner)]

“House Thorne” (Kaili, Dani, and 'baby' Bella Thorne) is undefeated going into these fights. The sisters are all underdogs - according to the odds-makers - and the youngest, precocious 19 yo Bella - is biggest underdog of all. Bella Thorne and her sisters all began their boxing careers in January of this year and, not surprisingly and the youngest, Bella, is facing Blake Lively - the recent undisputed Lightweight Champ. Few women would be favored against Lively, and probably no one with just FOUR fights in her career!

Sisters Dani and Kaili are both facing a daunting opponent in their own right; Dani facing Jennifer Lawrence and Kaili going against a three time champion in Lindsay Lohan. The Thorne sisters know how the fight game works... even celebrity boxers have gotta pay dues. Part of the dues is being booked in 'unwinnable' fights. There are good reasons for the practice: first, fighting better fighters is the quickest way to progress; and second, veterans all want to 'check out' newbies to see if they're as good as they think they are. Tonight is the Thorne sisters first deposit in their “education account” at the 1st National Bank of FCBA!

TALE OF THE TAPE:
Name, Age, Height, Weight Oct & Nov. Rankings w/W-L-D records

Lindsay Lohan, 30yo, 5'5”, 115# (#19 Tpull & #3 JMD) 50-31-1
Kaili Thorne, 24yo, 5'5”, 120# (#104 Bantam) 1-0-0

Jen Lawrence, 26yo, 5'8”, 130# (#21 Bxg Online & #11 JMDD) 22-11-1
Dani Thorne, 23yo, 5'8”, 127# (#88 Bantam) 2-0-0

Blake Lively, 29yo, 5'10”, 130# (#1 Tpull & #3 JMDD) 21-21-0
Bella Thorne, 19yo, 5'8”, 123# (#72 Bantam) 4-0-0

* * * * * *
Kaili Thorne vs Lindsay Lohan @ catchweight (result:Lookout/words:simgrrl)
Kaili Thorne, 24yo, 5'5”, 120# v Lindsay Lohan, 30yo, 5'5”, 115#

Before: Kaili, at 24 yo the eldest of three sisters, will have to fight her way past Lindsay Lohan, a multi-time champion in what Kaili claims is her preferred style, JMD! Unfortunately for Kaili, JMD is Lohan's specialty but tonight's fight is with standard, celebrity boxing, rules as codified by the California Celebrity Boxing Commission, Mr. Look Outre, Commissioner. It will be interesting, in coming months, to see how Kaili performs because she has a body that could be successful at bantam, at JMD, or otherwise!

Physically, little to choose with these two: both 5'5” - Kaili heavier by 5-6 pounds and Lohan five or so years older. The huge difference is in experience...Lohan has 86 fights, Kaili 1 (one!) ... that and Lohan's won a unified flyweight belt AND two JMD bras!

If there's one asset young Kaili Thorne has it's enthusiasm! In her only fight thus far, she had no hesitation attacking Alesha Dixon right off the bell with a blistering, fast-paced attack! Whether or not she can sustain that pace for ten rounds remains to be seen but, on the other hand, any opponent has to survive long enough for Kaili's stamina... or lack thereof... to become an issue!

But 'enthusiasm' can lead to downfall and Kaili's mouth has already gotten her in hot water with Lohan - who was *NOT* pleased when Kaili told reporters she'd like nothing more than to make Lohan “kiss my feet” the way she made Dixon kiss them. LiLo's never been one to suffer fools gladly, so getting her riled up on the eve of the fight may not be the smartest thing young Thorne's ever done. Time will tell determine whether she's dumb as a box of blondes, or smart as a fox!

Attire: Thorne in white satin bikini, white gloves, white boots, even a white scrunchie holds her lustrous dark hair back away from her cherubic face! Lohan a sharp contrast to Kaili's 'virginal white' in all black lace underwire bra, lace hipster panties, black knee pads, black gloves, black boots... even dark eye shadow to match her usually cloudy disposition for any fight!

During R1: Not surprisingly, Thorne out of the starting gate like a shot - much the same thing she did against Dixon, who is not nearly as accomplished a fighter as Lohan, so it's something of a surprise that she gets the jump on this veteran just as she did against Dixon! Lohan starting slow, then slowing down after that! She's missing early as Kaili, instead of avoiding Lohan's left as most might, is circling right, moving into her jab. It's working early; LiLo can't extend on the jab which is smothered by Thorne getting on top of her.
At close range, Kaili working to Lohan's body, banging away with the left hook to the front of those black lace panties. Referee hearing bleats of protest from Lohan, but making no moves to warn Thorne to “get 'em up kiddo” so the pounding takes its toll on her 30 year old body (which had its share of abuse, both in the ring and in night clubs worldwide!) Kaili sets Lohan up with the inside right hand under the left elbow, chopping an overhand left as she reacts. Lindsay's getting battered around hard the first round. (Don't know if Kaili's a Southpaw, but she hits like it!)
Final minute of the round all Thorne! Lohan getting her butt stuffed in the strands and Kaili's pretty much having her way with Lohan's JMD's in the last thirty seconds! At the bell, Thorne bouncing and jumping around like she'd won the fight, stopping in front of Lohan who is sitting back on the middle turnbuckle trying to catch her breath and lifting her foot, telling her, “You can start kissing anytime, Miss Bigtime Movie Star!” Oh, SNAP! LiLo slow starting, never gets going (Thorne wide).

R2: Kaili unstoppable for a second straight round, coming off her stool to target Lohan's hooters early (her JMD's hard to miss) then getting to LiLo's body midway, then again late! Kaili acting at times like she “owns” Lohan and she''s not used to this level of domination - in a boxing ring - not since she and Britney hung out with Paris Hilton. Second minute same as the first; Kaili setting Lindsay up with the left, then hammering home the right to put the little redhead on the ropes. Lohan hanging on doggedly, but her body's taking a walloping from the heavier brunette's hard shots. Kaili picking her spots, not getting wild and reckless, pinpointing one area of Lohan's lush anatomy and attacking it with punch after punch. Slow beat down continues into the third minute with no change. Thorne's got Lindsay in trouble and she's not about to let her wriggle out of it. OH! Hard right hand staggers Lohan; redhead forced to clinch with twenty or thirty seconds left in the round and Thorne digging into that soft middle, buckling Lohan's knees... bell!! Lohan saved by the bell as Kaili Thorne is winding up for another belly buster. From the worried look on LiLo's face - and those in her corner - at the end of the round, there's real cause for concern! It's like Kaili has “the book” on Lohan, but whether it's due to her ability and skill; her brother's brilliant strategery; or something else, we'll have to wait to postfight to ask her. So far, Kaili's performance shows a knowledge and wisdom as regards boxing, beyond what anyone expected from her after one pro fight! (Shutout Thorne!)

R3: Here comes LiLo! Finally, Lohan's early rally sidetracks 'The Kaili Express'...at least temporarily! It's taken her longer than anyone thought - not until she survives more rough handling from 'Killer Kaili' Thorne for the first minute... the seventh consecutive minute! Kaili 'feasting' on Lohan's belly for the first sixty seconds, but Lohan eventually starts to find the range. LiLo red-faced and laboring into the second minute, starts putting together combinations, rocking Thorne on her heels as LiLo's able to break thru Kaili's defense to get to her nubile young body. Say what you will, but when Lohan gets on a roll, at times she can be nearly unbeatable. It's looking like Lohan's going to pose a good test for the youngster after all. Kaili's going to have to start making adjustments as Lohan finds a path to Kaili's right side ribs under the elbow as Thorne's carrying her right a little too high.
Down the stretch it's all LiLo... Kaili having trouble getting off, being suffocated. Lohan's left in her face has her skittish about using the right, and when she does, Kaili's being banged around by LiLo's right which she times to connect just as Thorne leans into her own right hand. Off balance, two or three times Kaili almost got upended by straight rights as she was leaning to her right. Only her quick reaction to clinch saved her from a knockdown or two! (Lohan wide)

R4: Between rounds, Kaili recovering. Ah, the benefit of youth! Rihanna kneeling; using her fists to give Kaili pointers on how to fix her mistakes. Remy leans thru the ropes massaging his sisters neck and shoulders, encouraging her as only he can.
Thorne out aggressively, taking Rihanna's advice; throwing with two-fisted fury from all angles. LiLo, wide-eyed, ducks and dodges... even running away at one point as the punches come at her so fast she can't defend. But Lohan's 'retreat' turns into a trap that Kaili falls into headfirst! Lindsay lures Kaili into chasing her toward the corner, then spins, does an 'ole' (aided by a shove in the back) that slams Kaili chest first into the corner turnbuckle! Before Kaili can catch her breath, Lohan pounds her fist (with her body conveniently blocking the referee's view) twice into Kaili's kidney! Thorne's knees buckle in pain and she instinctively grabs the top rope to catch herself. Lohan drives her elbow into Kaili's ribs, to half turn her, exposing her front for the uppercut she's already sent on its way! By the time the referee gets between them, Lohan's pounded Kaili's face with two short, hard, uppercuts and the young brunette's halfway to La-La Land!
Rihanna slamming her hands on the apron, screaming 'FOUL!' at the referee.
The ref shrugs and mumbles, “I zee nutting...” and lets the action continue.
Lohan grinning, the rubber mouthpiece a bright red slash across her lower face, tears into Kaili who reels sideways along the ropes a tsunami of hard body blows; her upper body crouching forward as LiLo's little fists bludgeon her midsection. Kaili trying in vain to grab Lohan's arms, to wrap them up in hers, to force a clinch, anything to slow down the assault and give her a chance to recover her wind. But the wily little redhead isn't going to give her any respite and for the last minute and a half of the round, it's a one-sided beating with Lindsay stalking forward behind her fists and Kaili backpedaling on rubbery legs... but remaining upright, despite Lohan's best attempts to put her down! At the bell, Lohan gives Thorne's heaving bosom a final slap, as if to add an exclamation point to the beating. The bleat of protest from Kaili Thorne echos that of Rihanna who is halfway thru the ropes when the referee cuts her off and turns her toward Kaili who needs her help to get to her stool. (Lohan wide)

R5: Ri-Ri in Kaili's face as she returns her battered young fighter to her stool and slams her butt down, then proceeds to give her one of those “yer blowin' it kid” speeches trainers are become famous for as she splashes water in her face, smears Vaseline on her eyebrows and applies Endswell to her cheeks. Last second help.... Remy whispers in Kaili's ear as he shoves her mouthpiece in at the warning buzzer and gives his sis an encouraging spank as she rises. Blushing, Kaili steps out with alacrity to face a Lohan who's had her ego massaged by Jeri Ryan after two straight dominant rounds!
Thorne showing resilience again, recovering from the last round roughing up to jump on Lohan right from the bell! Lohan doing a little showboating early, with shuffle-footy and glove-flashy stuff that doesn't do anything to impress either Thorne, or the judges, but the crowd is eating it UPPPpppoo... down she goes! Just like that, Lohan's on her backside looking up into the lights.
The flash knockdown by Kaili Thorne shocks LiLo, Ryan, Rihanna, reporters at ringside, the referee and a nationwide PPV audience. About the only people not looking surprised are Kaili and brother Remy, who has a smug, self-satisfied expression (but then, when doesn't he?) Kaili dancing around, arms raised as Lohan struggles to sit up, rolls over and crawls to the ropes... pausing to pick up her mouth-guard which had been slapped out of her mouth...along with her taste... by that Thorne right!
LiLo up (wobbly) at eight, referee giving her a few extra seconds to put her mouthpiece back in, then on comes Kaili Thorne! Showing some training has been had, Kaili eschews the usual excited “all in” attack of many rookies and invests wisely, going after Lohan's body instead of “head hunting.” Her calm, focused attack is paying dividends early, as Lohan holds her gloves high to protect her head, giving Kaili plenty to work with 'below' and her fists plunge into the expanse of freckled tummy as she twists and turns her hips, putting every one of her 119 pounds behind each punch. Lohan bent over, hands pawing at Kaili's biceps, reeling her in until they're clinching with Lohan's reddish hair scrubbing Thorne's flushed face.
Kaili bringing her punches up from her thighs and hips, pounding the 'soft underbelly' of the older redhead's midsection, getting into her juggs when, or if, the opening is there for the taking. Hard to watch for Lohan fans, of which there seem to be less than usual in the crowd for this fight, or perhaps it's just that nobody expected much from the youngster and stayed home to watch HBO instead?
Final minute Kaili up-tempos, going for the KO and she has Lohan's knees buckling, but the veteran does a good job of going with the punches, protecting her chin and clinching as often as possible so the by the bell, while Lohan is looking shabby and disheveled, she's still on her feet. Now it's a matter of whether she can recover as quickly as her younger opponent! (Thorne wide)

R6: Kaili and Remy talking animatedly in her corner between rounds; Rihanna trying to get a word, but Kaili brushes it off. She knows what she has to do and Remy's helping plan for her to do it! Across the ring, Ryan's beside herself (oh wait, that's not a second Ryan, it's Blake Lively... a second pair of blond breasts fooled me...) Lively stopping by with encouragement on her way to her dressing room to get changed for her fight coming up later on the card.
Thorne on her feet for the warning buzzer, eager to get to the business of squashing Lohan like a bug underfoot. Lohan still on her stool at the bell, late getting to her feet but gets a 'helping hand' from Liz Olsen who left her seat at ringside to help Lively totter down the steps off the ring apron... her tight skirt giving her long legs problems. (Designer pencil skirts are NOT made for the boxing ring!)
Thorne with a whistling right hand, buckles Lohan's knees and Lohan's forced to clinch again! Kaili pounding away at the lats, flanks, and the occasional kidney; taking whatever's available to... AND SHE'S HURT! Big right uppercut snaps her head back and now Thorne's in trouble! LiLo on the attack behind a left hook/right cross combination that stuffs Thorne's butt in the ropes. Kaili trying to get her hands on Lindsay, but Lohan slaps them down and comes over the top. DOWN GOES KAILI! Thorne driven to her knees by an overhand right, drops like shot, then sways momentarily on her haunches before she topples over on her back; her left knee raised; right leg stretched; right forearm across her face covering her eyes.
Referee jumps in, pushes Lohan back, points her to the farthest corner. LiLo dawdles, posing over Thorne, admiring her work until she gets another shove. She turns and struts away with a little shake of the behind she's so proud of! Thorne writhing on the canvas, trying to sit up.... falls back. Tries to roll onto her side.... can't. Legs bicycle like a turtle on its back... nothing works! Count is “Nine...... Ten!” Referee waves his arms, it's over. Lindsay Lohan wins a stunning KO6 in electric fashion!

After: Kaili perhaps a little too much into herself, not respecting her opponent, got caught after her early success. Too bad, because Thorne was giving Lohan all she could handle 'til the wheels came off suddenly. Kid shows promise

Kaili Thorne telling the media, “Lohan's a pig and a slut! She hasn't seen the last of me... there's unfinished business between us. I'm not going away, Lohan, so don't stop looking over your shoulder!” Harsh words from a 'kid' but then, what would you expect from a Thorne!

Lohan typically 'redheaded' postfight, perhaps more upset than normal because she had her hands full, then she couldn't even 'JMD' the “mouthy brat” as she clearly wanted! “I don't know where the Thorne bird's come off,” LiLo grumbled into a mike. “It's clear how the family came by their name... honestly, that's how! Because they're all three 'prickly' little bitches! However, fair's fair,” she begrudged Kaili. “The girl came to fight and I give her props for trying to back up her words with action. Showed some moxey. I thought about making her kiss my feet, but that's not my thing,” she winked at her favorite Tractorpull stringer. “I'm into bosom worship; me being a former JMD champ and all. But since the kid thinks that's her milieu, next time we'll do it and see how she likes my big time baby's!”