MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD VS MISSY PEREGRYM
SANTA-KINI BOUT
Writing: Archer     Results: Lookout
Mary: 32 YO, 5’8 (1.73 m), 35-35-0 since 2007, Foxfire Boxing
Missy: 34 YO, 5’7 ½ (1.71 m), 47-20-2 since 2006, Lookout Boxing
(Mary’s “Santa-Kini’ Record : 2-3-0/Missy's 1-0-0)

Before: “I am taking a big chance fighting Missy,” Mary admits, “I mean she’s beaten me FOUR times. One of them was my first Santa-Kini match back in 2007 . Now some girls would just admit defeat and slink away. Not me. I just feel more determined than ever to beat her and, besides, I am always fired up for a Santa-Kini bout. I didn’t invent them, but I am never happier than when I am there in all that red satin, white fur and fighting with some other girl in a similar outfit. I wait all year for the chance to do it and now it’s here and fighting my nemesis Missy makes it all better!”

Missy seems bemused by Mary’s excitement: “You know, maybe I knocked her out too many times, I just don’t follow her thinking. Here I have proven I completely dominate her and she thinks wearing a special bikini will make a difference. I can’t wait for this either because putting her down on the canvas has become special to me. I get a warm spot in my heart just thinking of it.”

Mary frowns: “That’s not exactly the Yuletide spirit.”

“Well, I like to think beating you any time of the year is good, but spoiling your favorite type of bout will make this year VERY good,” says a smirking Missy. “Oh and Yvonne says she hopes you’re ready for your New Year’s Body Paint fight.”

Mary frowns again: “I am always ready to fight, Vonnie wearing body paint or anything else. I don’t like you using her name.”

“Excuse me,” says Missy with a smirk, “I didn’t realize her name was sacred to you.”

“I never said that” Mary splutters.

“Of course you didn’t, you just get all gooey whenever her name comes up,” Missy continues.

“Why are we talking about Yvonne? You sneaky Lookout louse! You are trying to distract me!” Mary accused.

“How am I doing?” Missy laughed and sauntered off the stage leaving Mary red-faced and steaming.
Mary’s bad mood vanishes once she comes to the ring in a dazzling new red satin with faux fur trimmed bikini. She has on red gloves and boots with white lacings. Her bobbed hair hangs loose. She waves and smiles to the cheering crowd. Missy then makes her entrance and she has chosen an ice blue bikini with little white snowflakes and a white faux trim. She has on ice blue gloves and boots with white lacings.

Mary looks disdainfully: “What are you trying out for? Ice Hotel Boxing? Maybe “Frozen’ boxing if you put on a blonde wig and played Elsa. Of course then I’d have to find a red wig and play Anna. I could still beat you though. You just don’t have the right taste in Santa-Kinis.”

“Just trying to be creative and not be the same cliché every year,” Missy said posing proudly in her outfit. “And blonde wig or not I could beat you in any kind of boxing—or haven’t you figured that out yet?”

“I am SO going to knock you out!” Mary fumed.

“Ladies! If you two don’t stop this there won’t be any fight this year!” It was the irritated voice of the referee. Mary and Missy looked over as if surprised to see him. They muttered apologies and let the ring instructions go on. Soon enough they were back in their corners (decorated in red and white for Mary; blue and white for Missy) and awaiting the bell. It rang.

R1: Missy briskly on the attack, peppering Mary with quick, shifting shots to head and body, trying to keep Mary off balance. Mary has trouble with her counters, but she is dogged and finally is rewarded by some nice jaw shots that shake Missy’s self-assurance. Mary then moves forward and this sets off a close in battle of short, hard rights and lefts jerked into each other’s bodies. Breasts getting some hard attention from these punches, but Missy has better luck working Mary’s breadbasket. Every punch here seems to send an impact wave through Mary’s body and eventually she falls back to regroup. Missy circling, harassing Mary with quick licks to head and side ribs. Mary jabbing back does score on Missy jaw and makes her more cautious, but Missy keeps working that belly. Mary fighting back, but after bell sounds, the judges give to Missy, though it is close.

R2: Mary coming out much more aggressively this round and clips Missy’s chin early with a nice uppercut that steps up a right/left to the jaw. Missy stung, falls back and Mary now shifts to working Missy’s midsection. Good, solid hooks dig deep into Missy’s belly along with some swiping left and rights to send Missy’s rack swaying from side to side. Missy gets her jab going but Mary willing take the shots to get her leather into Missy’s body. Late in round, Mary slips a right into Missy’s mouth, splitting her lower lip. Missy covering up to protect her head allows Mary the chance to pound her belly to get to the end of the round. Round goes to wide to Mary.

R3: Missy answers this round with a quick smash to Mary’s mouth and now she’s got blood trickling down her chin from a split lip. Mary looks fierce as she tries to get at Missy, but Missy’s evasive and worse, takes advantage of Mary’s loose defense to score repeatedly to her face. Mary finally calms down, but she’s got reddening lumps all over face to go with that bloody lip. More cautious now, Mary then has to deal with Missy’s quick-firing attack to her body and she tries to use her jab to keep the Lookout fighter back. It does not work very well and Mary gets her body worked over to the bell, though her legs remain sturdy throughout. Mary glares defiantly at Missy and then turns to march to her corner. Missy grins mischievously and reaches out to give Mary a spank on her red satin bikini bottom. Mary whirls around ready to pounce on the smirking Missy, but referee blocks her and makes Missy’s ears burn with his lecture on not following the rules. Missy hangs her head and slinks to her corner, but ringsiders can see she’s still got that smirking Bad Girl smile.

R4: Mary fired up, but not reckless as this round gets going. She is out quickly and giving Missy some unpleasantly strong shots in the abs. Missy not liking this and strikes back with a body attack of her own. Now the two of them are face to face, foreheads almost touching as they heave punches into each other. They are really going at it and the crowd roars in excitement. Mary just leaning in as she uses her feet to add push to her punches. Slowly, but surely, Missy is pushed back, though she is grudging in her retreat. Mary never relents on the pressure until the bell. She then steps back, sweat rolling down her face and body and warily backs away from Missy. Missy weary and sweat-soaked herself, but a smile comes faintly to her lips at seeing Mary’s caution.

R5: The two go right back to close in dueling, though there is more movement this time as they shuffle from mid-ring to the ropes and then along the ropes. More of the same close in body punching, but Missy suddenly steps back which catches Mary by surprise and she stumbles forward a step. As she does, she drops her gloves and WHAM! MISSY SENDS A RIGHT CROSS BLASTING TO MARY’S JAW! Mary’s head jerked around and SHE CRASHES ONTO HER SIDE! Mary rolls onto her back and looks up blearily at the lights. Missy shoots over to the neutral corner to await developments. Referee is counting. Mary is near the ropes and uses them to pull herself up, She insists to a doubting referee that she is fine and the fight resumes. Missy right back at Mary, who gets banged again to the head, before she puts her face in her gloves and takes a seat on the ropes. Missy gives Mary’s flanks a thorough pasting, but she can’t budge Mary from her perch. Mary looks rubbery legged getting back to her corner and the Foxfire corner crew has their work cut out for them. Meanwhile Missy savors the knockdown which assures her winning the round.

R6: Mary looking shaky getting off her stool and goes into a tight defense as Missy tries to overwhelm her with showers of punching. Mary doing little to fight back, she covering up and pushing out just enough counters to keep ref from calling the fight. Missy starting to look frustrated that she can’t get the stubborn Mary down. Finally tries to push Mary into the ropes, but Mary shows her legs are definitely still working as she slips away and obliges Missy to chase her around. Round ends with Missy winning the round in a shutout, but she looks angry back on her stool. “I just couldn’t get her down!” she’s heard to complain. Mary seems calm and composed despite the extensive work the Foxfire corner crew seems to be doing on her.

R7: Missy seems determined she’s going to take Mary out this round. She heads right for her and swings hard trying to take her head off. Mary ducking under comes popping back up with hook that drives deep into Missy’s belly. Missy all but jackknifes as she staggers back doubled up and arms pinwheeling. Mary swift to pursue and swing away smashing Missy’s jaw from right to left and then left to right. Missy gets her face into her gloves and Mary then drives Missy into the ropes. Now it is Missy’s flanks that get pounded, though Mary isn’t at all frustrated, she seems to be quite enjoying putting so much unanswered leather into Missy. The bell finally stops the bombardment. Missy peels herself off the ropes and trudges passed Mary. Mary likes the sight of her shellshocked rival and cannot resist reaching out to give Missy a little pat on her blue and white snowflaked bottoms. Mary doesn’t react, apparently too woozy too feel it. Mary looks a bit disappointed and even the referee does little more than scold her briefly.

R8: Missy trying to pull herself together after the R7 beating, but her attempts at counterattacking after quickly halted by Mary. Mary bobbing and weaving to get under Missy’s sluggish punching and coming up to bang her body with repeated hooks. Missy trying to fight back, but Mary is moving around much too quickly for Missy’s counters. Mary very patient as she sets up Missy with the body attack. Sure enough, as the fight enters minute three, down comes Missy’s guard to protect her aching gut and in flies Mary’s uppercuts to the chin. Missy takes one-two-three-four left and right uppies in succession. The last seems to knock the legs out from under her. DOWN GOES MISSY! She lands on her butt with an impact that shakes the ring . She hangs there in a seated position, upper body tipped forward with her chin on her collarbone and arms at sides. Then after a moment she swoons backwards,  legs shooting out straight and lays there eyelids fluttering but not seeing anything. Mary calmly to the neutral corner as she watches the referee count. Missy is slowly coming to, but not fast enough, She has only managed to raise her on one arm when the count reached “…TEN! YOU’RE OUT!”
THE WINNER: MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD KO8!

After: When Mary hears herself declared the winner she lets out a loud victory cry: “YESSSSS!!!” Immediately, Rachel Nichols, Jennifer Garner, Laura Vandervort and Candice Swanpoel rush out to congratulate her.

“Oh, this is SO great! I finally beat that bytch! My Christmas dream has come true!” Mary cries.

Mary has her gloves removed and once she sees Missy has been revived in the Lookout corner she charges over to haul Missy to her feet.

“Hey, where’s the spirit of Christmas Charity!” Missy says as Mary drags her to the side of the ring.

“Charity begins at home and my idea of Charity is giving my fans pleasure seeing you get a walk of shame!” Mary says gleefully.

“Well, ho! Ho! Ho! Lets get going, I got a date with a bunch of ice packs thanks to you,:” Missy snarks
.
Mary reaches down and grabs Missy’s bottoms twisting them and pulling them upward in a wedgie that makes Missy yelp. Then Mary holds the wedgie and makes Missy walk around the ring on her tiptoe, yelping every time Mary tugs on the now weaponized bottoms. By the time they get back, Missy is moaning for her to stop and Mary does, after giving her bared buns a healthy slap that sends her into the angry arms of Lookout’s Kate Upton and Yvonne Strahovski!

“You didn’t have to do that, Mary!” Yvonne snaps.

“I think I did. If you don’t like it—see you at our next match,” says Mary.

“But it’s a Body Paint match—you can’t give a wedgie with a painted on bikini,” Kate protests.

“She’ll think of something if she has to,” Mary replies.
“It’ll be on my mind,” Yvonne says grimly.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,:” Mary says and saunters back to the Foxfire corner.

Quite a fight. Looked for sure that Missy Peregrym was going to maintain her unbeaten streak against Mary Winstead, especially after Rd 5. However Mary used R6 to recover and then take out Missy over the course of the next two rounds. Maybe a lesson in pressing your luck against any one particular fighter. No matter now many times you beat them, there’s always the chance their turn the tables if given enough chances. Meanwhile fans got a great Christmas fight and can look forward to just what goes down between Mary and Yvonne come that Body Paint bout!