Jessica Nigri versus Lindsay Lohan
(Jugs of Mass Destruction Championship)
(Words: WW / Results: Lookout!)

BEFORE: Two JMD fighters stand in the ring: one a veteran with multiple titles and defenses, and one who just recently acquired the title. The two are friendly to each other, but it’s clear that that friendliness isn’t exactly the truth of what they feel.

“Sure, she’s beaten some impressive people, but she’s still pretty green.” Lindsay says with no urgency, as if she’s ready to get the title back: like it’s being handed to her. “She’s bigger, too, but you can’t beat experience and skill. I think she can put up a good fight, yeah, but I don’t really see her taking me down.”
Jessica is the complete opposite—in belief and in mood. “Holy. Crap. I get to fight Lindsay Lohan for the JMD Title! And win, too!” she says, laughing. “Like I’ve said time and time before, it doesn’t matter if you’re a former champion. That was the past, Lindsay, and this is the present. And after the lovely Sophia Bush gave me so much support, I’m not gonna drop this bra so easily. Defend it easily, sure; but lose it? Absolutely not!”

Jessica wears the JMD Title Bra with its stylish encrusted jewels alongside a silver microkini, just barely covering her bottom half. LiLo in purple bandeau top with blue string bikini bottom.

ROUND 1: We’re off to a thrilling start, both blondes colliding punches with each other in the center of the ring! A nice little brawl and back and forth, all shots straight for the jugs. Jessica smiles playfully yet devilishly while Lohan just smirks and then frowns as she gets serious. Jessica comes forward with a straight to the head, but LiLo ducks it and instantly punishes with an uppercut to the stomach! Jessica taken off guard; she’s getting jabbed at now! All the jabs are connecting and the current champion is now getting battered by the ring veteran! Jessica gets that guard up, trying to avoid Lindsay for as long as she can. Too bad Lindsay isn’t letting her off the hook easy: she’s raring to go and she wants the title bra BACK! She tries to bully Jessica into a closer space, but Jessica’s slippery and finds her way out. She shoots retreating jabs, and Lohan keeps walking right into them! Jessica comes in with a hook, Lindsay moves back in with ANOTHER straight to teach Jessica a lesson! The younger blonde doesn’t care: more shots to Lindsay Lohan’s jugs, and the challenger cries out as they’re knocked around. As her breasts get pounded, Lindsay forces Jess off with another powerful left hook to the jaw! Jessica’s head snaps to the left, and a RIGHT CROSS from Lohan gets her again! Jessica forced to stop, trying to recover from that cross, but Lindsay takes the chance to give Jessica’s jugs a pounding! Now the champ is making pained noises, her back about to touch the ropes. Strikes to the breadbasket from Lohan, they connect, and the BELL RINGS! Woah, impressive work there from Lohan! She took control of this round and really showed this newbie what for, but Jessica’s really resilient. It’s gonna take a bit more to bring her down, but if there’s anything Lindsay Lohan has, it’s “plenty more”! Jessica looking a little overwhelmed in her corner, but still smiling away, even with the threat of her title being taken off her chest.

ROUND 2: Back in the action as Lindsay tries to search for Jessica’s weak spots. The current champ is agile, moving around on her feet and swiftly avoiding Lindsay’s strikes. Lindsay has to chase her a bit, Jessica popping in some well-placed counter shots as the fight continues. Lohan is getting frustrated, trying to hit Nigri and control just like she did before, but it’s not happening! She comes in with another right cross, only for Jessica to come in with a LEFT cross and shut her down! Lindsay’s eyes go wide as her head comes back around from the hit! Jessica with uppercuts to the jugs, jabs to the stomach, and a big right hook that sends Lindsay to the GROUND! Oh my God, what a sudden change of events! Jessica practically skipping back to her corner as she enjoys her early knockdown of a reputable girl like Lindsay! LiLo a bit stunned, but she gets up at the count of 4 and shakes it off. Jessica comes right back in, pushing up her jugs as a cheeky taunt to Lohan. The ref signals for them to get right back at it, and they do, with Lindsay once again taking the lead. A few whiffed shots; she lands a jab to the jugs, but Jessica lands a big left to the ribs! The wind gets knocked out of Lindsay, and suddenly a BIG RIGHT HAND sends her stumbling backwards! Lindsay trying to defend herself, trying to counter, but Jessica just smacks her jugs around like the massive punching bags they are! Now, in a change of pace, Lindsay’s the one on the ropes instead of Jessica! Jessica with two body shots, and then quick headshots that smack around LiLo! Lindsay’s trying to get back at it, but her cries show that she’s weakened! Jessica having the time of her life as she dominates Lindsay on the ropes, the crowd cheering her on as her red gloves connect into her opponent. After no response for a few moments with Jessica now pounding away at her opponent’s big breasts, Lindsay finally says “Stop! Stop!” in a panicked voice. Jessica stops, and then the ref steps in to look at her for a few moments. Lindsay’s trying to pull herself up and away from the ropes, but she can’t as she leans back against them and lets out a groan. The ref waves her off and says that it’s over! Unbelievable! How did she do it?! TKO2 and still JMD Champion: Jessica Nigri!!

AFTER: Jessica is celebrating all over the place, doing a full victory lap around the ring to chants of “JMD! JMD!” Her smile shines brightly under the lights of the ring as she’s successfully completed her first defense on a well-known FCBA fighter, and by TKO in the second round! Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan very upset, in tears as she misses her second chance this year to reclaim the JMD championship. The mood from both parties is absolutely mystifying in how different it is.

Regardless, the moment everyone wants to see begins! Jessica, without a care in the world, pulls Lindsay to the center of the ring and smothers the girl in her breasts. She playfully rubs them over Lohan’s face, giggling as LiLo somewhat struggles in them: both accepting that she lost, but obviously still unhappy about it. After pushing them away a few times and having them smack Lohan in the face with a little jiggle work, Lohan finally stops struggling and slides down Jess’ body, unconcious from the breastbeating.

Jessica gets her arm raised to make it official, and she’s in good spirits as we talk to her post-fight.

“What’d I tell you? It just doesn’t matter how long you’ve been here!” Jessica says, totally unrepentant. “I’m not even kind of surprised…that I won. The WAY I won though…I mean, listen, I dunno WHAT Lindsay did, or at least what the heck I did in order to end up at a TKO2, but all I know is that I’m happy about it! First title defense down, and many more to go! Maybe I can break my record and go for a KO1? Eh? Eh? Any girls just wanna give up and enjoy taking a nap between the girls here? …anyway, looking forward to fighting Lowndes or Benson next month. Those two are pretty good, but if they come in this ring and think they’re gonna win on experience alone, well…look what happened to Lindsay!”

Jessica struts out of the ring and up the ramp: still champion, and still confident!