BEFORE: Vicky Pattison inches ever closer to the high-profile rematch versus fellow Geordie Shore starlet Charlotte Crosby but tonight she hosts former Hollyoaks cast member Alice Barlow over at Newcastle's own St. James' Park. Vicky dismisses BBU TV Kate Abdo's claims about a "meaningless stay busy affair" against a genuine newcomer but the cheeky grin on the brunette's face indicates otherwise. Barlow does the best impression of Diana Vickers during her pre-fight interview telling Kate "how excited" she is about making the BBU grade but perhaps one should remind her this isn't some vintage foxy boxing entertainment. In worst case scenario, Pattison will explain it to her personally in a few minutes time!

The Only Way is Essex's Megan McKenna has made the proverbial bus trip to Newcastle apparently lurking for reality TV boxing opportunities but she denies rumours about entering the BBU fold anytime soon; however she tells Kate Abdo she'd "love to beat up that blonde bimbo Barlow" herself so one shouldn't rule out future sightings for the luscious brunette at all.

Vicky Pattison wears a navy blue basque top, white knickers and black gloves. Long black hair straight and loose. Alice Barlow wears a red basque top, matching hotpants and white gloves. Long blonde hair tied in a sleek ponytail. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the bantamweight division.

Round 1:
Alice comes into the fight with a huge smile on her face but it's boxing time rather than a red carpet arrival at the Brit Awards so Vicky wipes that grin off the blonde's lips with a slugging approach that immediately puts the actress into hectic cover up. Alice swings over the top with a couple of early hooks but quickly begins to seek an escape route as Vicky just doesn't give her an inch of respite and keeps hammering along to the body while adding few solid hooks upstairs along the way. Barlow spends the opener in constant retreat as she fails to match the Geordie onslaught and begins to wince in anger as the brunette's mitts get stuck into her face come the final minute. Pattison traps her in the corner late on and barks in her efforts to score an early knockdown but gets clinched into a stalemate as Alice's yelps truly indicate how much she struggles to make her BBU debut competitive.

Round 2:
Megan McKenna is all thumbs up in the VIP seats and laughs out when Alice's head snaps back repeatedly in a frantic opening minute that has Pattison cashing in with brutally effective punches and rendering the blonde helpless. Barlow's squeals begin to annoy a fan or two but her response meets a stubborn Geordie guard and down the stretch nature of these attacks wouldn't have hurt a flyweight let alone a tough bantam cookie like Pattison. The Geordie Shore starlet has proved she's one of the most durable fighters around and her fitness regime isn't a mere publicity stunt straight from Daily Mail index. That spells more trouble for Barlow who can only clinch the charging brunette in order to survive another round but she's hardly landed a meaningful punch on her debut thus far.

Round 3:
It's time for Vicky to wink back to the crowd and feel a little flamboyant here, there's no question the Newcastle crowd would like to see their favorite blow Alice away as quickly as possible but on the other hand, any extra time in the ring helps Vicky's reputation as a dark horse of the 120 lbs division. She taunts the blonde into finally stepping up with some juice but Alice's single punches herself into no-man's land and cuts thin air plenty... Vicky loops overhand control and actually makes the former Hollyoaks actress flinch twice which only fuels the audience into more spirited chants... however Pattison clearly holds back the cavalry and renders the third round a casual sparring meet with no real intentions to blow the lacklustre Barlow away... yet!

Round 4:
Kate Abdo thinks that Megan McKenna won't learn much about the vicious nature of BBU competition watching this Geordie stroll in the park; Vicky keeps dancing around the cumbersome blonde in mid-range and only throws a mean punch or two to keep Alice from falling asleep as the Hollyoaks girl truly doesn't fancy herself into any aggressive moves. Half-way through and the brunette finally stamps it on the gas pedal again and immediately gallops into the exposed tummy as Barlow struggles to keep her defense ready for all the options and this time she fails to apply the clinching recovery and slumps against the brunette's shoulder when Pattison drills the soft flesh and seemingly tries to chop the actress in half! More loud yelps indicate that Alice has fully settled in the punchbag mode and Vicky moves higher to clip her breasts before signing off the charge with a vicious one-two on the chin that half-spins Barlow against the turnbuckle. One last hook from the left NAILS the hapless blonde on the ear right at the bell and my oh my, Alice nearly bursts into tears on the spot as the ref jumps in to prevent further damage since the clock has indeed expired. Ugh! Poor Alice looks lost like a deer in the headlights out there and even Megan McKenna wants to knock her lights out despite having zero boxing experience whatsoever. Geez, this is way more enjoyable than a social spat on twitter, right?

Round 5:
If anyone thinks that Alice could thrive on adversity here in Newcastle tonight then Vicky quickly adds some common sense into these odds and SLAMS the immobile blonde through the guts as the low guard is nowhere to be seen again. Maybe Alice really watched some old school foxy boxing tapes and now finds herself completely out-of-depth in the real world? Whatever the truth, Vicky is onto her case and drills the pale skinned actress back & forth until Barlow's scowling almost matches the level of Geordie support from the stands! A quick hook upstairs snaps the blonde's head to the left and a riffle of a right hand finds the nasal ridge and cuts poor Alice up... AND SHE GOES DOWN ON HER BACKSIDE in the very same moment - simply unable to embrace the Geordie heat anymore! Ugh! She drops her head between her arms and tries not to cry too much... not to cry... too much... Vicky goads her womanhood as she yells at the fallen actress: "That's all U got? Really?". Well, really is indeed the answer as the misty-eyed Alice looks up at the ref and shakes her head signalling she's had enough of this here. KO5 Vicky Pattison in lesson-teaching fashion!!!

AFTER: Someone has a gentle sense of humor backstage as Depeche Mode's "Master & Servant" rings out from the speakers as Vicky parades around the place and blows several kisses to the crowd. The Geordie's finest truly applied some masterful touch against a completely mismatched rookie and Kate Abdo has to face the facts, this was like an official rehearsal for Pattison with that Charlotte Crosby rematch lingering in the near future. Truth be told, Crosby's last opponent, Brooke Vincent - was anything but a real challenge too but based on the tape, Alice would be a long shot to make it competitive versus the notorious Coronation Street girl. However the only way for Barlow is up and Vincent really shapes up to be a perfect bounce back prospect - especially given her "all eyez on me" attitude that has annoyed the heck out of many pundits and fans around the country... unless Megan McKenna wants to file a dissent?

Of course Barlow's imminient plans are worthless to every single Newcastle fan here tonight and Pattison dwells on the rampant standing ovation so much she basically ignores the sobbing blonde and lets everyone know that she's ready for that epic Geordie/Mackem grudge rematch again. That should be a sell-out of the year candidate and apparently the most gruesome boxing affair in BBU-sanctioned competition since the infamous Samia Ghadie vs Roxanne Pallett dust-up three years ago. Can these girls deliver all the promise in the next few weeks? Even a Manchester girl Kate Abdo is excited about this clash of the titans in the north!

Final result: Vicky Pattison def. Alice Barlow KO5.