Celebrity Boxing After Dark: The VIXENs Special
Alexis Ren vs Charlotte Church
(VIXENs vs Lioness Club)
(6-1, 6 KO vs 5-9, 5 KO)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago

BEFORE: "No, I didn't skip the Fools' Fighting card to focus on the big PPV event at the end of the month!", Alexis Ren tells Michelle Joy Phelps before her oh-so secret Boxing After Dark clash with Charlotte Church. "You see, Chubby Charlotte beat Alyssa Lynch last time around and while I'm always happy to beat Alyssa into submission, that's an exclusive privilege that belongs to ME and ME only! Since I can't have Alyssa fired from our team, I have to defend our integrity and well, the blondes simply do it BETTER and when I smack Chubby Charlie senseless, everyone will understand why I'm the better prospect than Alyssa!"

Despite upsetting Alyssa Lynch back in December, Charlotte Church is by no means the favorite against another VIXENs-trained opponent. She gives away full three inches in height to Ren but vows to make up for this deficit thanks to sheer aggression that will stun the trademark California blonde cold. "I have no fear!", she tells Michelle Joy Phelps, "I've been through the hell and back in FCBA and these Instagram models are so damn annoying I don't understand why nobody bans them from this league? Just because you're blonde and a natutal C cup, it doesn't mean you can actually box! It's time to drag this kiddo through a ringer and I'm just the right girl to do it!"

Alexis Ren wears a turquoise bikini set and black gloves. Long blonde hair tied in a sleek ponytail. Charlotte Church wears a black basque top with red trim, matching knickers and red gloves. Shoulder-lenght light brown hair in loose curls. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the bantamweight division.

Rounds 1 & 2:
Charlotte maybe gives away the inches but she's not a stranger to Welsh pub brawling, something that Alexis never tasted in Santa Monica, and she bullies the blonde kid with a steady jabbing assault to the body that has the American scowling sooner rather than later. Church tactics seems to be obvious at this stage, throw everything at the kid and see if she buckles, add a quick head-butt on the chin or two and make her lose her temper and focus. It's working well for the singer during the opening couple of rounds as Ren struggles to find her range and bunny hops in futile effort to tame the Welsh swarming galore. Charlie adds several spikes around the elbows to keep the California kid slumped on her heels most of the time but the lack of a facial shot prevents the Welsh brunette from adding the proverbial icing on the take. This is where Alexis' towering presence hands her the edge - even if she forfeits the two rounds almost by default.

Round 3:
Let's be honest, Alexis couldn't have given her opponent a bigger head-start but she finally channels that supreme reach early in the third when she SMACKS Church on the mouth with a nasty left/right combo and tackles her boobs to dominate the close range tussle afterwards. The Vixens head coach Steve Boyd reminds the blonde to step back and use her range but the kid enjoys punching Church in the chest a little too much and gets herself clinched into a stalemate as a result. Ugh! That shows you why Ren is still such a diamond in the rough, she basically lets the singer off the hook and gets dragged into a lenghty wrestling struggle along the ropes; Charlotte uses the vast experience into her advantage shutting the American's charge down in effective - if not exactly crowd-pleasing - fashion.

Round 4:
More of the same in the fourth, Alexis tees off with swinging menace and lands a couple of promising hooks on the temples but Charlotte is all over her body thereafter showing a superior footwork balance and well, Alexis looks a little stiff out there unable to match the singer's fast movement. What follows is another Welsh assault to the body and Ren begins to feel the heat now, she yelps in pain several times but simply can't drive the smaller woman off her and gets wrestled back to the ropes where Church literally headbutts her in the jugs! Ugh! What was that? The ref refuses to step in and allows Church to wreck more havoc in the blonde's chest, Alexis bends awkwardly against the ropes and can't stop yelping in pain as Charlotte flicks several punishing jabs in and around the waist line before blasting a noteworthy uppercut on the jaw that half-spins the subdued kid against the turnbuckle at the bell.

Round 5:
One might say Alexis is doing much worse than stablemate Alyssa against this Welsh swarmer and she simply can't steer her punches from mid-range but she does well to avoid more of this close range heat and finally shows some fancy moves as she dances around the singer's hectic efforts to build on her advantage. Charlotte is briefly pegged back with a stinger of a hook on the temple but Ren just doesn't follow up and looks somewhat overwhelmed by the lack of success tonight - and somewhere out there in Florida Alyssa Lynch is probably smiling right now. The pace of the fight drops dramatically in the final minute but it doesn't remove a wide grin from the brunette's face. This round could be drawn at best but Charlotte has forged ahead by three points at half-distance and that's more than enough to upset the VIXENs entoutrage with coach Boyd looking for a plan 'B' here already.

Round 6:
Well, there's no plan 'B' for Alexis in store as she simply has to take advantage of that superior reach, it seems to be a mental block that spoils the kiddo's party but Church gets a little too flamboyant in dancing around the Instagram model and allows Ren to deliver that big punch she was looking for all night. A quick snap of those brown curls dumps Church on her heels and Alexis finally-oh-finally cashes in with a facial barrage that hits speed dial and enables the model to pound a suddenly subdued singer back to the ropes. And Ren doesn't let up whatsoever as she slams repeated hooks into the Welsh girl's face and drops her guard alltogether come the final minute. Charlotte weaves around on her feet but she can't apply the clinch anymore and eats a faceful of leather that leaves visible bruises on each cheek as Alexis runs away with her best round of the night and yells out in delight at the bell whereas Church only checks if her jaw is still in tact!

Round 7:
On comes the VIXENs' finest! Alexis storms into an aerial attack that splits Charlotte's mitts in mid-distance and adds more pressure on the already bruised face! Church drops to her heels and suddenly she can't show her dancing moves anymore as the blonde connects with several clean strikes and dissects the high guard at will. Ugh! And now we have blood in the ring! Charlotte's nostrils give way underneath the aerial carpet bombing and the singer's seeping red liquor just before the minute mark. Some purists may accuse the blonde of showing no real versatility but who needs that if you can sway your opponent's head around so efficiently? Church groans out her loudest of the night and wobbles forward as she searches for balance... she's not gonna find it there... she finds a brutal hook from Alexis instead that plunges into her chest and SENDS HER CRASHING FACE-DOWN ON THE CANVAS moments later!!! Booyah, the VIXENs are back on top and that shot took the air out of the Welsh challenge alltogether. Church is outta here as she can't catch her breath whatsoever and remains face-down at eight. She makes no effort to rise from the boards and the ref calls it off while the singer is still trying to somehow find her breath after a punch that would have made the JMD headlines alone! KO7 Alexis Ren in come-from-behind fashion!!!

AFTER: The California kid poses for the cameras with that sweetheart smile of hers but please don't remind her just who won the last intra-stable battle royale! Oh-well, Alexis just can't stay off Alyssa's back and points at the fallen Welsh singer before grabbing the mic: "Booyah! This is how we do it! Na-na-na-na. Let's get one thing clear, me and Alyssa, we're soooo not done yet! But I did what she couldn't and BLASTED that chubby bytch right where she belongs. Sucking the damn carpet! Who loves ya now, bytch!"

Alexis' not old enough to buy the drinks in this country yet but Michelle Joy Phelps is convinced the VIXENs entourage won't celebrate this CBAD success with a glass of soda. As for the artistic impression, well, the 20 year old model could have dealt with the Welsh veteran a lot sooner and was way behind on points at half-distance before finally making her head hunting pressure count. There's still a lot of work to be done on her body-punching resistance but the fact remains, she's one of the hottest prospects around and enjoys a slightly better upside than arch-nemesis and fellow Vixen Alyssa Lynch. The blondes do it better? Well, that's the case if your first name is Alexis!

Final result: Alexis Ren def. Charlotte Church KO7.