The Man In The Hat sits, as usual, at the center of the dais. To his left are Allison Mack, Gemma Arterton, Hunter King, Jewel, Grace Park, Emma Roberts, and Alison Brie. To his right sit Jane Levy, Leven Rambin, Leighton Meester, Britney Spears, Neve Campbell, Pink, and Avril Lavigne.

Man In The Hat: "All right, as usual, before we get to questions, there are some people I want to thank. Let's start with our friends at Bazz, the OTHER home team at the Asylum. They always provide us with great fighters and great fights, and next month, we'll see more of that. Also, we want to thank Foxfire Boxing for agreeing to come back here. We hope they'll be back again soon. And, as always, the indie girls from the CW were a big part of the event, and we thank them for helping make this possible. And, last but certainly not least, the FCBA Commission for sanctioning these fights and making Asylum possible. Now. Questions. Cable Boy. Go!"

HBO Reporter: "Obviously, Jane was going to lose a fight at some point. But, I wouldn't imagine most people thought it would be tonight..."

Man In The Hat: "Well, look, two things here. First, this girl, Mendes, she can fight. That bein' said, Jane was the better fighter most of the night. She was well ahead and she got caught and that happens. You can ALWAYS lose a fight in the FCBA. Always. Give Mendes credit for findin' a way to turn things around. Learn something. And, move on. Get back into the gym and keep doing what you've been doing, which is working to get better. We're not overly concerned about this. We know who Jane is now. She's a girl with championship talent. And, she'll show it. Cable Boy II! Talk to me!"

Showtime Reporter: "Well, I don't want to sound like I'm harping on the losses, but, tough result for Rambin..."

Man In The Hat: "Yeah, but a good PERFORMANCE by Rambin, let's not forget that. Let's also not forget that our former Commissioner always pointed out how important it was to not just look at the results of fights or particular rounds, but also what happens in the rounds. Well. Look at those things, and you'll see that Leven fought one of the best bantams in the world even all night. Again, credit to Michalka for coming up big when she had to. But, I'm pleased with Leven's performance, and, if she keeps performing like that, she's going to win fights. A LOT of fights. BLONDE! Magazine! Let's hear it!"

BLONDE! Magazine Reporter: "Let's talk about Allison Mack. Is she still your number one bantam?"

Man In The Hat: "Well, as you know, we don't have Alphas here. What we DO have is a pecking order, and Allison has been on top of the bantam pecking order for some time. Tonight showed you why. She's the best bantam we have and as good as any bantam in the FCBA, as she's proven on more than one occasion. Tess, dear, go ahead."

Tess: "Nice wins for Gemma and Hunter tonight..."

Man In The Hat: "No doubt about it. Gems, of course, is a champion, and she looked like it. And, like Allison, she's as good as anyone in the FCBA in her division, and she's proven it. As for Hunter, we continue to like what we see. There's work to do. No doubt about that. But, she's getting better, not just every time out, but every single day in the gym. Kid has a future. And, we can't wait. Smackeroo! Dinner time. Take us there!"

Reporter: "Leighton had a rough patch tonight, but she got things turned around and got a big win..."

Man In The Hat: "Well, that's what good fighters do. Anybody can get in trouble in a fight. But, not anybody can find ways to work their way out and get back into the fight. Leighton's a girl who can do that. She's also a girl who's worked her way from 1-6 and buried at her stable a few years ago to bein' where she is now, a good fly who's favored against most of the girls in the division. Now. Dinner time! Tess! Smackey! Limo!"