Pre-Event:
 
(All Results by Lookout, Words by Cas)

We are live from the Paradise Theater in The Bronx, New York, in front of a sold-out crowd on this beautiful Saturday evening!

A historic venue that has been closed and reopened multiple times, past-promoters of the location have even referred to the Paradise Theatre as the ‘future mecca of boxing.’

Alongside to make history tonight, here is the official fight card:

1. Kyra Santoro takes on Rose Bertram in the opening bout. No mutual love between these two rookie SI models after backstage rumours of a back-stabbing estrangement circulating online, suggesting one girl got ahead at the expense of the other. Other than that drama, it’ll be interesting to see whether Kyra’s spunk can overcome Rose’s heavy hitting.

2. Our guest-fight of the evening (as per custom on our cards) sees Hollywood superstar Amber Heard take on fellow TV personality and General Hospital starlet, Kelly Thiebaud. We’re still expecting fireworks to go down after Amber’s divorce from Johnny Depp continues to dog the headlines.

3. Our third match sees fellow big-girl Serbian heavyweights facing off in a Welterweight contest. Bo Krsmanovic brawls with tennis star Ana Ivanovic in a match of epic proportions. We all know Ms Ivanovic has regular training in the arts of kickboxing and judo, but can she overcome young blood tonight?

4. Our Co-Main Event sees Bantamweight rising star Alyssa Lynch fighting celebrity Bridget Mendler, in another classic blonde vs brunette match-up. Ms Mendler obviously known in various circles for her acting, singing and songwriting talents. Definitely some tension there from Alyssa’s overnight celebrity overshadowing her hard work.

5. Finally, in the last of a three-part series, our Main-Event of the evening sees Hannah Ferguson proving that she belongs in the JMDD circle if she wins over Erin Heatherton. Doing so means she finally fulfills the terms of Odds and Ends’ Tahnee Atkinson’s challenge all those months ago, to her previously-held crown, and let’s not forget Hannah’s real prize: winning the JMDD championship from Ms Kate Upton at the end of May.

Without further ado, let’s kick things off tonight with none other than with Ms Emily Ratajkowski, who has graciously agreed to do the introductions:

Emily enters from backstage wearing a loose white blouse and black slacks, acknowledging the crowds with a double wave of her hands. She’s not on the fight card tonight, which would explain the inappropriate attire, but by golly - how much more transparent can that top get, her black lingerie clearly see-through as she mounts the apron and strides into the center of the ring, bright spotlights now illuminating every portion of her sexy figure.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to VIX: Dissension in Paradise!” she pauses to acknowledge the crowd’s ‘Hell yeah!’

“Now I know what you must be thinking - why the hell aren't I fighting tonight?” she grins before continuing. “Well, I’m proud to announce that you’ll be seeing me in the ring real soon. In fact, I requested for this match specifically after what happened at our previous event.” Emily pauses for dramatic effect, allowing the audience to recall her scuffle with a certain blonde in April.

“Emily f*cking Van TRAMP! You may share the same first name as me, but let me guarantee you - we aren’t nearly in the same class of fighter. If you think you can take me on, why don’t you w--”

Emily’s words cut short when the crowd roars at the sudden appearance of none other than Lookout’s Emily VanCamp herself, who materialises from one side of the crowd and rushes into the ring. Ratajkowski barely has time to turn around to see what the fuss is about when she’s speared in half by the furious blonde! The two girls squeal on the canvas, tearing at cloth, pulling at hair and muttering curses. Finally, officials rush in to regain order, pulling a kicking and screaming Emily off of Ratajkowski. VanCamp still screaming all the way: “I accept your challenge, little b*tch! I’m gonna beat your little skinny model ass down!” is the last thing she says before the blonde disappears backstage.

Ratajkowski is left sitting on the ground herself, trying to regain her composure. She tries (without much success) to repair her torn and tattered blouse, that looks resemblance to her black lingerie underneath than anything. Still, the model has the dignity to stand up to her feet, re-gaining the microphone that was tossed a distance away.

“You want some of this, Van Tramp?” Emily shouts, suddenly ripping the rest of her white blouse off her body and revealing nothing but her lean and toned mid-riff and chest hugged by her black bra-straps. “COME AND GET IT!”

What an explosive opening to the night’s proceedings. Emily strides back to the locker room, keeping her dignity intact by strutting and showing off her figure every step of the way. 

Once again, we welcome you to VIX: Dissension in Paradise!