Post by THe Wiz on May 31, 2017 at 8:18pm

BEFORE:

"The FCBA debut," says Tristin with a gorgeous smile. "I can't wait. And, I can't wait for my first FCBA win, either, so, let's get them both out of the way tonight."

"I've seen this girl around," says Kat with a smile of her own. "And, I knew she was going to eventually turn up here. I kinda like her. But, tonight, it's business."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "We're back at ringside and that's 'My Life' by the lovely lady bouncing down the aisle right now, from CBS' 'MacGyver', Tristin Mays!"

McCarthy: "Believe it or not, she sings pretty well..."

Tess: "It shouldn't be a surprise. She was once a member of a singing group called 'Jane 3'..."

McCarthy: "Where do you GET this stuff, Walmart?"

Cassie: "For the MILLIONTH time, IN THE PREP MATERIAL AVRIL GIVES US!"

Tess: "You know, the prep material you IGNORE!"

McCarthy: "I refuse to read Weirdo's PROPAGANDA. And, SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, as Tristin climbs into the ring and is helped off with the robe to reveal a gray bikini and a body that's got the attention of everyone in the arena..."

McCarthy: "Only because I don't jump up there and strip down..."

Cassie: "Well, stripping down is the ONE thing you're good at!"

McCarthy: "Shut UP, Scabbo!"

O'Dell: "Aaaaaannnnnnnddddd, that's 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing' by Scissor Sisters, and that can only mean that Kat 'The Rack' Dennings is on her way to the ring."

Cassie: "Uncle Wiz says that, when he was reorganizing the roster, every single person he asked for advice told him to keep Kat Dennings..."

McCarthy: "He didn't ask ME, because I'd have told him to send that overrated Dancing Hooker PACKING!"

O'Dell: "Dennings into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that curve-hugging black two-piece we've seen before, and, again, the crowd liking what it sees. Ladies about ready. Time for some picks. Tess likes Kat. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Dennings is overrated and gets no help by listening to CAMPBELL. Even a girl in her first fight can beat her. MAYS!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "i agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "And, there's the bell. This is Mays' first FCBA fight, but, if you know her background, which includes dancing, and you've seen Kat fight, you shouldn't be surprised by how this one is starting, with Mays on her bicycle, dancing and jabbing and Dennings looking to pressure."

McCarthy: "Same kind of terms that always existed when I fought Campbell. I'd show all my athleticism and boxing skills and go out there and dance around her while she lumbered around the ring like an aging rhino."

Tess: "All while beating you six times in seven fights..."

McCarthy: "She did NOT...she...you...I WAS ROBBED!!!!"

O'Dell (sighing): "Dennings slowly getting the feel of this. She's cutting the ring, bringing Mays to battle, and making with the heavy leather. Tristin banging back, holding her own pretty well in these exchanges. She's definitely sturdy and looks to hit with some power, ladies..."

Cassie: "Just because you're quick and athletic doesn't mean you can't hit. Just ask anyone who's ever been in with ME."

O'Dell: "About twenty seconds left in a close first round. Dennings again brings Mays to battle and unloads some hard shot. Tristin again firing right back in there, lands a good hook to the midsection. Kat responds with a SOLID right to the chin and there's the bell. Close one to Dennings."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell "Kat starts this one more aggressively. She's quickly getting the ring cut and closing on Mays. Tristin again willing to trade in there, believes in her own power, no question about that. And, there's no question Kat believes in hers and NOW MAYS BELIEVES IN IT! Dennings with a short right hook and Tristin is HURT!"

Tess: "You said Mays is plenty sturdy, well, she just proved it, because that punch would have put about three quarters of the division on the canvas!"

O'Dell: "Well, Tristin's still standing, but she's definitely in trouble. Kat loading up on the leather now, backing her up, sending her wobbling with a big left hook. Referee watching closely as Dennings gets off lustily. Mays keeping the guard high, putting the body on sale. And, Dennings now beginning to buy..."

Cassie: "All that open body is WAAAAAYYYY too tempting for a fighter trained by Neve Campbell."

O'Dell: "Dennings digging with a vengeance, trying to drop that guard. Mays not having it. She's against the ropes, leaning back, willing to trade the punishment for time. And, it's a trade Kat's going to make. She's hooking those ribs, thumping that belly, only occasionally going upstairs. Five seconds to go in the second. One more hard right from Dennings and there's the bell. Kat wide, but Mays survives."

McCarthy: "And, Campbell's little clone may be up 20-18, but she wasted a big opportunity there."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third begins with, surprisingly, Mays back on her bicycle. She's shaken off the worst of the punishment from last round and appears to have the legs at least most of the way back. She's circling a little wider now, snapping out that jab, making Dennings work to close."

McCarthy: "And, this is DEATH to fighters like Dennings and Campbell, girls without athletic ability. Make them move and they're toast."

O'Dell: "Kat again moving the feet, angling, looking to cut the ring. Mays a bit more elusive this round, with that wider circle giving her just a bit more wiggle room. Still, Dennings able to bring her to battle at times, bang away both upstairs and down. Tristin working to keep these exchanges shorter in this stanza."

Cassie: "Smart move. Mays having the better of things in the open. She needs to stay there as much as possible."

O'Dell: "Final thirty seconds of the third. Tristin jabbing, circling, reversing, pivoting back the other way. She's executing the fight plan pretty well now, ladies, and you're starting to see that there's plenty of talent here. She has great feet, great legs, and very fast hands. And, as the bell rings, she's used them to claim the third round."

Tess: "And cut Dennings' lead to 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Mays in a pretty good rhythm to start the fourth. She's really legging it now, using the jab to slow Dennings' efforts to close, scoring points aplenty as Kat works to do that, and then limiting the length of the exchanges when the Front Streeter gets to her spots. This is good stuff from the rookie."

McCarthy: "And, it's precisely why I predicted that Mays would win this fight. Quick, athletic girls like Mays beat slow, plodding girls like Dennings every time."

Tess: "Or, in the case of you and Neve, ONCE out of SEVEN times..."

McCarthy: "ROBBED! And, SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, as Mays stops, pops, and gets right back to moving. Kat still working the feet, staying sound, looking to close, but coming out second best so far in this round. Tristin circling, jabbing, pivoting and GETTING DROPPED! Dennings with a straight right hand and DOWN GOES TRISTIN!"

Tess: "Caught her in that pivot, Jenny!"

O'Dell: "Certainly did, and sent her crashing to her right side. Kat to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Mays rolls to hands and knees. Eight. And she's on her feet. Referee going to give her the mandatory and then waive Kat forward. Dennings all over the stricken Tristin, shaking her with big right hands. Mays hanging on as we approach the bell. Left hook from Kat and Tristin wobbles again! Mays now against the ropes. Kat ANOTHER big right hand! And there's the bell..."

Cassie: "And, not a moment too soon, because the ref was about to step in. Dennings now up 39-36, but Mays still alive."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Mays not sure of the legs early in this one. She's trying to use the jab to keep Kat off, but Dennings working past, closing, thumping, backing Tristin up. Give this girl credit, she's fighting back hard in these set pieces, but this isn't where she wants to be against Dennings."

Cassie: "No, it isn't. She's got to play for time so that those legs come back, because, standing in front of Kat is a recipe for disaster."


O'Dell: "But, that's the only recipe Mays has in the book right now. She's firing back hard, trying to force Kat off, but Dennings right in her grill, working body then coming back upstairs, really laying in the leather. A solid left hook from Kat backs Tristin up. Mays getting the guard up and..."

Tess: "SHOVEL HOOK!"

O'Dell: "AND DOWN GOES MAYS! Oh, that's the Neve Campbell shovel hook to the liver and Tristin has crumpled to the canvas in a ball. Dennings to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Mays on her right side, arms wrapped around her body. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! And, your winner by KO5 is Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"

Cassie: "So, Mac, you know first hand how that shovel hook to the liver feels. Describe it to us..."

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, SCABBO! I was ROBBED and you KNOW IT!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Kat Dennings, and, Kat, this girl can move..."

Kat (nodding): "You know, our former commissioner turned Wiz on to her and he actually has her on his short list. We knew a lot about her coming in, and we knew she could box, had great feet, really quick. She just needs to get some rounds, and she'll be able to beat a lot of girls."

Tess: "Let's talk about you, though. You were able to counter that speed, bring your power to bear, and when that happened..."

Kat: "When that happened, it's was au revoir, auf weidersehen, and sayonara all rolled into one. Like the song says, 'senorita see ya later, buenos noches bye-bye'!"