{{{ Boxing story based on a real-life tennis match from Hopman Cup Round-Robin stage 01/03/18. }}}

Eugenie Bouchard (Canada, WTA #83) vs Angelique Kerber (Germany, WTA #21)
(4-1, 3 KO vs 3-2, 3 KO)
Venue: Perth Arena, Perth, Australia

BEFORE: New season means new hope and both these blonde vixens look forward to putting a VERY dissapointing 2017 campaign behind them. Angelique Kerber has bottomed out during the past twelve months following two Grand Slam titles and a Year-End ranking of #1 back in 2016. However Eugenie Bouchard's slump has reached even deeper lows and seemingly only die-hard WTA fans remember the days when the lanky Canadian made the Wimbledon final. And that happened "only" three years ago. Since then Bouchard has done everything right to raise her marketing profile except for actually winning matches. That remains kinda important in professional tennis as well as any other sport. The "Next Maria Sharapova" narrative has changed to the "Next Anna Kournikova" tune and that tells it's own history.

We're just days before the first Grand Slam of the season kicks off in the Australian summer heat so it's little surprise the boxing contest is staged at night. Eugenie Bouchard wears a white bikini set with a red maple leaf on each cup and red gloves. Long blonde hair tied in a braid. Angelique Kerber wears a pink bikini top, violet panties and black gloves. Long blonde hair tied in a similar braid. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the welterweight division.

Round 1:
Both girls prefer to slug it out from the front so the intense jabbing exchange should surprise no one. Eugenie uses the slightly longer reach to stick her mitts into Angelique's face but the German refuses to yield an inch and tackles the taller opponent to the bpdy after her initial attack upstairs gets blocked off. Bouchard's defense isn't of the highest standards lately yet she manages to outwork the fellow blonde in close range and reels Kerber onto her heels after a spirited jabbing rally that breaks the German resilience. Angie finally thinks better off it and circles backwards when she realizes the Canadian is up for the challenge tonight; Genie hassles her around the ring but she isn't mobile enough to make her hooking effort count and Kerber blasts her across the lips with a late rally that catches the younger blonde by surprise.

Round 2:
Angie's southpaw stance becomes more problematic for the Canadian stunner who misses her initial approach and soaks up a faceful of leather instead. The German jumps into a close range assault and barks in her efforts to smack vicious punches straight up the middle which reel Bouchard on her heels very quickly. The Canadian struggles to swing back from the embattled position and skims off the forearms while Kerber really digs in the juice! She makes the younger blonde scowl and backs her into the ropes with another wild rally that Genie finds too hot to handle. She caves in behind a tight earmuff but this lack of response only fuels Angie's determination and she pounds away in furious fashion. She switches downstairs to ignore the high guard and Bouchard's midsection simply takes a beating in the final minute; the Westmount native struggles to catch her breath at the bell while Angelique gives her a really long stare before turning back to her corner.

Round 3:
That poor showing in the second effectively forces the Canadian's hand here; she snaps Kerber's head with a promising left/right combo early on but then soaks up a nasty hook just below the boobs and begins to gasp for air again when the older blonde cranks up the close range heat! Angelique outworks her rival in another heated exchange as Genie's accuracy goes south and sinks her on jelly knees come the half-way stage of the round. Ugh! Angelique's relentless stalking sends the Canadian into hectic defensive circles but she just doesn't have the moves to avoid the German heat and gets throttled back to the corner down the stretch. She's forced to accept the slugging war of attrition and moans in her efforts to break free from the leather flood however Kerber digs deep into her face and leaves visible bruises on both cheeks as well as a fat lip on top of that. Ugh! Genie slumps against the turnbuckle at the bell and she looks in quite a bad shape here already. 

Round 4:
This just isn't the confident girl who rocked the WTA scene back in 2013/14 and she can barely take a proper series which Kerber brutally delivers to open the fourth. Bouchard's defense wilts under pressure and Angie wraps her in a jabbing frenzy before slicing through the high guard and knocking the Canadian's head back & forth until a painful shriek signals instant trouble for the aching Westmount blonde. Genie's knees hit the jelly mode and she wobbles straight into a nasty uppercut from the left that DROPS HER ON HER BACKSIDE moments later. Ugh! The Perth Arena audience roars in delight and Eugenie takes her time before getting up. She does so at eight but looks as vulnerable as ever and Angie jumps after her with no sympathy whatsoever. She tackles her upstairs and knocks her back butt-in-ropes where she hauls in more facial juice and destroys the Canadian's guard for good. Bouchard moans her heart out here but she simply can't keep her arms high enough anymore and almost gets blasted through the ropes alltogether! THE REF HAS SEEN ENOUGH!!! He jumps in to drag the charging German away with Eugenie on the verge of breaking down in spasms. TKO4 Angelique Kerber!!!

AFTER: Shades of former Grand Slam glory from the German southpaw who punches the air in delight and yells out several times to further boost her confidence. She truly needed that sort of a performance, a convincing destruction of a physically impressive - and perhaps superior - opponent. Eugenie's horrible defense and lack of agility remain a massive problem but she still sells most tickets among WTA stars not named Maria Sharapova. At least that's the truth according to the organization's CEO.

With Australian Open just around the corner, Angelique is well placed for another deep Grand Slam run however she's not exactly Germany's top performer in recent months as Julia Goerges has found new heights herself and threatens to spoil the usual suspects' party in Melbourne later this month. As for the unfortunate Canadian, the expectations might be all-time low following this pounding but at least the social media will have something to scribble on. There's no such thing as bad press and Genie's stock simply can't fall any further, right?

Final result: Angelique Kerber def. Eugenie Bouchard TKO4.