BEFORE:



"See, people ask me all the time why I never became a champion around here," says Beyonce with a smile. "Well, if I'd have kept going 15 years ago, I'd have as many belts at Theron. Maybe more. But, I had other things I wanted to do. But, that doesn't mean I still don't have what it takes to come in here and whip someone like Perry, because I do."



"Beyonce thinks she has what it takes?", asks Katy with a smile of her own. "Well, we'll just see if we can disabuse her of that notion."



ROUND ONE:



O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Run The World' and down the aisle comes the singer of that song, the lovely Beyonce Knowles!"



McCarthy: "And, you know, she might be right. I think, if she'd have kept after it way back in 2004, she MIGHT be as successful as Theron by now..."



Tess: "Truck, let's have someone come down and check what's in Mac's cup...because that can NOT be Pepsi..."



McCarthy: "What are you IMPLYING, Walmart?"



Cassie: "She's implying that you are either DRUNK or bat-crap crazy. I'm voting for bat-crap crazy."



McCarthy: "LISTEN, you LITTLE..."



O'Dell: "Now, calm down, Mac, and keep your eyes on the ring, where Beyonce is helped off with the robe to reveal a yellow number and a body that's definitely been training hard for this one. And, that's 'California Gurls' you hear behind us, and that means 'The Santa Barbara Slugger', Katy Perry is on her way to the ring..."



Tess: "Perry ranked in the top five at lightweight, and, she's a girl who's definitely looking for another shot at the straps. Needs this one if that's going to happen any time soon."



O'Dell: "Perry into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that red number we've seen before and the crowd certainly appreciates it. And, the ladies are about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Katy. Mac?"



McCarthy: "Like I said, Beyonce is good enough that she could have been better than Theron. Beyonce!"



O'Dell: "Cassie?"



Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"



O'Dell: "Split panel. Let's see who's right. And, we're not going to bother with any tactical or feeling out stuff in this one. Ladies right at one another off the bell, trading hard shots to the head and body. Both of these girls have shown they can box and move, but neither one has any interest right now!"



McCarthy: "This is all about imposing will and doing it early. Beyonce not going to let Perry bully her."



O'Dell: "And, the opposite also true. Katy giving as good as she gets right now as both fighters are landing heavy leather both upstairs and down, but, the concentration right now is upstairs. Beyonce backed up by a big right from Katy, but Knowles fires back with a heavy combination that forces Perry to cover up!"



Cassie: "Crowd getting into this now, as these fighters are really sitting down on their punches."



O'Dell: "No doubt about it. Ten seconds to go in an action-packed first round. Another big exchange and one more right at the bell and Beyonce gives Katy a show and the referee in there now separating the fighters. Just a GLARE from Perry and Beyonce giving one right back. Close first to Knowles."



Tess: "Well, we all know the history of Beyonce and Front Street, and there's still no love from Queen Bey for the girls from Philly!"



ROUND TWO:



O'Dell: "Second round begins with more physicality. Ladies right after one another in the center of the ring. They're throwing bombs again, with both fighters landing shot hard enough to back the other up a step, but, when that happens, the girl who gets backed up steps right to and gets working again."



McCarthy: "Like I said, it's all about imposing will. Neither girl's done it yet, but Beyonce will do it soon enough."



O'Dell: "More body work this stanza. Both ladies making an investment now, but it's going to take quite an investment to have an effect on bodies like these. Good right hand from Perry and Beyonce follows with one of her own and the crowd getting into it again because we have a FIREFIGHT!"



Tess: "This was coming, no question about it!"



O'Dell: "And they are just TEARING into one another right now! Big flurry after big flurry as Beyonce backs up Perry and then Perry responds by backing up her fellow singer. Katy digging a couple of hooks to the belly and Knowles responds with a big hook to the head and there's the bell! Ref in quickly now, before anything can happen. Nothing in it, ladies. Draw."



Cassie: "And, Beyonce's up 20-19 after two."



ROUND THREE:



O'Dell: "Third begins exactly the way the second ended. Ladies right back after one another as they have been the entire fight. With shots like this being traded, something's got to give at some point, but nothing has yet. Instead, we've been firing away on even terms for going on seven minutes..."



Cassie: "RIGHT HAND, PERRY!"



O'Dell: "And Beyonce is GOBSMACKED! A BOOMING right hand from Katy and Beyonce staggers and nearly goes down! Perry all in after her rival now, hammering away with both hands as Beyonce backs and covers. Knowles' legs shaking with every shot from Katy as Perry's looking to finish big!"



Tess: "Got her trapped on the ropes now, and still a minute to go here..."



O'Dell: "This is not going to be pretty for Queen Bey! Perry thumping her to the body now, trying to bring down the guard. Beyonce taking the punishment and keeping in high. She's trying to last out the round. Twenty seconds to go. Perry ROCKS Knowles with a right hand! Referee looking in. Beyonce clinching, hanging on, figuratively and literally and there's the bell! Perry wide in the third."



McCarthy: "But, it's still only even, 29-29."



ROUND FOUR:



O'Dell: "Katy moving in for the kill now. Perry determined not to let Knowles off the hook. Queen Bey in retreat, still a little unsure of those legs. Perry taking canvas in small chunks as Beyonce tries to slow her with counters. Knowles looking to lay traps now, but Perry aggressively through them..."



McCarthy: "This is great stuff from Beyonce. She's playing defense for time, working her way back into this fight!"



O'Dell: "Not sure about all that, because Perry's in command in there. Knowles surviving for the moment, but not much more than that and DOWN GOES KATY! DOWN GOES KATY! Knowles a right hand counter and Perry dropped to her rump and Beyonce standing over her and blowing off the glove before bouncing to a neutral corner!"



McCarthy: "I LOVE IT!"



Tess: "And, by the way Katy is pounding the mat with her fists, she does NOT love it."



O'Dell: "Referee's count at three. Four. Five. And Perry to her feet at six. Katy not at ALL happy she got caught with that one. She'll take the mandatory and on comes Knowles. Not much time left in the round, but Beyonce just letting the hands go! Katy willing to back and cover now, realizing the round is lost. She goes to the ropes, puts up the earmuff and runs out the final seconds, and Beyonce with another shove! Ref in quickly again, warns Queen Bey who just prances back to her corner smiling."



Cassie: "And, with the 10-8 round, Knowles is back on top 39-37."



ROUND FIVE:



O'Dell: "And, now it's Knowles starting a round by looking to press the advantage. She's coming forward on Perry, looking to back her up with hard flurries. Perry banging right back, though, holding her ground, stopping the advance in its tracks. They are toe-to-toe now, digging body, then thumping away upstairs...."



McCarthy: "I LOVE this Knowles girl! We are SIGNING her at Sceej!"



Tess: "I doubt that seriously, since the person who MAKES those decisions is Jamie Lynn Spears, the SISTER of the girl Beyonce and J-Lo jumped and beat up at the bidding of Christina Aguilera..."



McCarthy: "I make the decisions at Sceej! ME! Mac The Knife!"



Cassie: "What color is the sky in your world, Mac?"



McCarthy: "Shut UP, Scabbo!"



O'Dell (sighing): "A minute and a half in and not much in it. Ladies banging away on even terms right now. Beyonce unable to follow up on that knockdown last round. Instead, they're throwing hard shot in there and another FIREFIGHT developing now as we're seeing BOMB go back and forth..."



McCarthy: "Again about imposing will, and Beyonce IS imposing hers! She has the knockdown. She has the lead. She's the better fighter and she's proving it."



O'Dell: "Twenty seconds to go. HARD shot from Perry backs up Knowles. Beyonce fires back with a BRUTAL three-punch combination and Perry snaps Queen Bey's head back with a right hand at the bell! Referee immediately between them and there's a STAREDOWN for the ages! Ref ordering the singers to their corners and they finally turn and go. Close. Beyonce."



Tess: "And, she's up 49-46 at the half. Perry's got some ground to make up."



ROUND SIX:



O'Dell: "Sixth underway and so is a FIREFIGHT! Singers just tearing into one another right away now and it's clear that this has gotten personal! Beyonce going RACK NOW, thumping some hooks into Perry's jugs and Katy BLASTS Knowles to the rack! A blistering right hook into Beyonce's left bra cup and Queen Bey is HURT!"



Tess: "No question about it. She clinched immediately."



McCarthy: "Cheap shot! Typical of Weirdo and his Hookers!"



O'Dell: "Perry shoves Beyonce off, and WOBBLES HER WITH A RIGHT HAND! Knowles staggered and now covering up as Katy throws a fusillade of leather! Queen Bey in deep trouble now. Katy getting off lusty with both hands, bringing all that impressive power to bear, pinning Knowles to the ropes with a minute to go..."



Cassie: "Crowd going NUTS, Jenny!"



O'Dell: "And Perry's going RACK and in a big way! Katy just HAMMERING Beyonce's jugs as Knowles keeps the guard high along the ropes. Beyonce crouching, trying to cover up with elbows. GOOD uppercut Perry and Queen Bey's knees do a shimmy! Ten seconds to go. Beyonce's going to survive. There's the bell. Perry and wide in the sixth."



McCarthy: "But the Queen is still up 58-56."



ROUND SEVEN:



O'Dell: "Perry right after Beyonce to start the seventh. All Rubicons have been crossed now, and Perry's looking not just to finish but to punish, as she backs up a still-wobbly Knowles with shots to the head, then digs body and lands another short right hook to that left jug that shakes her opponent..."



McCarthy: "This is typical undisciplined stuff from one of Weirdo's girls. She needs to be clinical here and try to finish instead of letting her emotions get the better of her..."



Cassie: "BFF, let's slide away from Mac, shall we, so we don't get hit with the lightning bolt..."



O'Dell: "Perry steadily backing Beyonce up. Knowles can't hold canvas. She's countering in spots, but that's about all she can do. And PERRY FREEZES HER WITH ANOTHER RIGHT HOOK TO THE LEFT JUG! There's a left hook that staggers Knowles and a BOOMING right hand and down goes Beyonce!"



Tess: "Hit the canvas and BOUNCED once! What a right hand!"



O'Dell: "Perry smoldering, staring down at Knowles. Referee ordering her to a neutral corner. She's pretty reluctant, but she's going. Cost her five seconds anyway, but it may not matter. Count at three. Four. Five. Beyonce not moving at all. Six. Seven. Eight. She's both down AND out. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO7 in BRUTAL fashion is 'The Santa Barbara Slugger', Katy Perry!"



AFTER:



O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"



Tess: "I have our winner, Katy Perry, and, Katy, you were fighting with some anger in there..."



Katy: "Look, I know this girl has history with Front Street and all of that, but, I wasn't bringing that into the ring with me. But, the stuff she was pulling in there was bush and I got a little tired of it and made her pay."



Tess: "You're right at the top of the list of contenders and this result certainly won't hurt your case..."



Katy: "I'll let that take care of itself. I'll just keep doing my job. Eventually, I'll get a chance to get the belts back."