3. Alexis Ren vs Cailin Russo (Lightweight)

Alexis:
(21, 5’9, 9:2 FCBA, VIXENs)
Cailin:
(23, 5’7, FCBA Debut, Free Agent)

Before: “She’s older, she’s shorter, she’s less talented. Just what the f*ck am I doing here?” Alexis laughs, expecting the audience to also see the joke and laugh alongside her. But it doesn’t sound like it’s the Vixen’s night, as the crowd merely boos back at her, and for once Alexis is taken aback by the lack of a positive response.

Cailin, on the other hand, is smiling sweetly at the other end of the table, shaking her head softly whenever Alexis says something that can be considered indecent. The crowd seems to be firmly on the newcomer’s side, and no doubt it was brave of the rookie to even accept this fight, going up fresh against someone like Alexis, who out-ranks her both in the ring as well as in the world of social media.

“I’m not afraid of her,” Cailin states matter-of-factly when she gets to speak. “I’m just here to say ‘hello’ to my fans and give them what they want - an exciting fight.”

“Suuuure,” Alexis retorts, another bubbling laugh coming from deep within her gut. “You’re beneath my notice, Russo. I have no idea why my fans keep comparing me to you…”

Alexis might not see it, but the fans certainly continue to make comparisons between both blondes, who come together in a tense face-off at center-stage, making clear that besides Alexis’ slight height advantage, both blonde chicks have the physical countenance of being identical twins. Of course, fans also noticing the difference in both girls’ personality and emotional countenance, Alexis ever the firebrand firecracker, using every moment to berate her opponent with insults and taunts, whilst the slightly older woman simply holding her peace, small smirk the only response to Alexis’ insults.

Cailin in black-white striped bikini ensemble (pictured), red gloves, hair tied up in battle bun. Alexis for contrast in all-black sleek bikini, hair looped in loose ponytail behind her head, capping it off with orange gloves. Here we go folks with the battle of the digital warriors of our time.

Round 1: Here we go here we go, both girls striding forward on lanky legs but surprisingly hesitant to make first contact or take the plunge right in. Alexis still reeling from that shock loss to Kendall Jenner just a few weeks ago, whereas Cailin the rookie is behaving just like one, so no surprise there. Testing jabs seem to frustrate both girls incessantly, Alexis getting snippy whenever Cailin fires off a multitude of quick jabs at her face, over-recoiling backwards with reflex action. Russo of course no better, first few punches that land on her nose and chin make her feel exactly what it’s like to get stung by a punch, forces her to back away rather quickly and stay there - no one likes to get punched in the face, I guess. Crowd’s initial excitement thus slowly ebbing away towards the end of the round, some boos even heard carried from the back of the hall at the lack of action. This finally pushes Alexis to get back into her old rhythm, albeit only slightly, as the blonde comes charging in at last thirty seconds, distracting Russo with a jab flurry to her guarded face then going underneath with thundering right hands that land smack on her tummy. Russo grunting in pain some more, backs away even faster. Before the new girl can retaliate, however, the bell rings and ends the first round, giving Alexis a small lead to this fight.

Round 2: New girl getting drilled by her new trainers in between the rounds, and the blonde looks eager to get back into the action to test things out - first minute sees Cailin backing down much less, instead holding her ground and sticking that long right hand back into Alexis’ cheek more frequently. Middle sees mutual pounding of lips and noses as both blondes stack each other up in the center of the ring and just take every target they can get, stuffing lefts and rights into any and every hole in the other’s high guard. This is what happens when neither girl backs down… Alexis gagging after a particularly hard right hand WHAPS into her cheek, swiveling her head to one side and down. The crowd echoing that loud impact with a cheer as Cailin steps in and winds back another blow, only to get her body folded in half when Alexis comes back early to bury a punch deep into her belly, muttering curses through gritted teeth. Ren decides to brawl by clinching forward, but her grip around the waist is a little too low, allowing Cailin easy access to further pounding on the Vixen’s sides, digging leather into her skin over and over. At the bell, referee has to pry both blondes apart. Still, sweating, panting girls resist for a good twenty seconds, continuing to dig their gloves into enemy body parts.

Round 3: Alexis got off some good shots last round but also took a surprising shellacking from the rookie. Could this be yet another loss for the proud Vixen who seems to be on downwards spiral? Alexis’s sides bruised red as she raises her arms to cover face instead. Cailin responds with some lightning punches shooting into her body over and over with steady pounding puh puh puh puh. Alexis absorbing and not doing much blocking for some reason, instead grunting louder and louder as she tries to hit her foe up top instead. To her credit, gloves score aplenty as well, reddening Cailin’s nose towards the middle and forcing her to reevaluate her strategy here. Girls reset and circle towards the middle-mark, resort to again testing defences with long jab. Alexis learning her lesson from fight with Jenner by playing a *little* more strategic this fight - her fans seem disappointed by the lack of that wild, crazy and unpredictable swinging she’s known for. Instead, Ren testing out some new combos, flicking jab-jab up high before coming at Cailin with bruising uppercuts to the tummy, but Cailin seems to take the girl’s punches relatively well, blocking and deflecting and blocking some more… worse is when she throws counter-hooks that tag and shift Alexis right in the face, punishing the blonde by whipping her face left or right a few times. Alexis staggered to the side in such a manner towards the last few seconds, crowd lets out a loud gasp as their chosen girl almost looks like she’s about to go down but manages to steady herself along the ropes. Cailin rushes in to brawl, but the bell suddenly stops her, saving Alexis from another humiliation. Russo certainly coming away with the lead in this fight after two commanding, consecutive rounds.

Round 4: Cailin looking confident as she strides out of corner. By contrast, Alexis getting riled up by lack of success and as usual we can expect the same wild confusion to descend upon her any minute now. Cailin throwing those similar combinations at the Vixen in methodical pounding on guard, then on belly. After second such flurry lands without answer, Alexis huffs loudly and wades back in, apparently thoroughly through with this nonsense. This catches Russo by surprise when Alexis suddenly gets in her face and starts ramming her fists into it by any means possible. Flurry of punches come a’flying as Alexis goes into raged overdrive, not caring if her fists actually making it past Russo’s forearms, but content to just be back in control and panic the rookie into a retreat. A better woman in the ring would know how to deal with Ren’s brat-like behaviour, but not so for Russo, who you can see is getting more and more flustered at how to deal with her aggression. Ren succeeds in putting her back against the ropes and just goes to work on her body when there’s no more room to run, stacking her up with piercing uppercuts to the midsection and then snapping her head back a few times with short uppercuts to the chin. Cailin of course throwing wilder and wilder punches in return all this time, so the scoreboards don’t award Alexis that big lead she anticipated to have - blonde lets out a stifled cry as the bell rings and Cailin’s still left standing. From experience, folks, Alexis is bound to just go downhill from here…

Round 5: Like we predicted, exhausted Alex is slow to advance from corner, but so is Cailin, who looks pretty shaken up from that last attempted domination from her opponent. Girls again circle cautiously, sidestepping each other and seeing who might be crazy enough to lunge forward first. But Cailin takes the bait in the first minute and lets a right hand fly, grazing Ren on the chin as her guard flies upwards to protect. Cailin thinks her opponent is hurt, keeps the pressure up with another left-right combo straight to the gut, punishing that perfect body of Ms Ren’s before going for the kill with killer uppercut to the jaw - but MISSES - Alexis still alive and kicking, head swerving to the right to avoid, lands her own straight hand - PACKS into Russo’s face! Cailin’s eyes squeeze shut, arms flail as Alexis’ turn to follow-up with quick pounding puh puh puh puh as the jabs land in quick succession on Cailin’s nose and lips. Flecks of red start flying as Russo gets taste of first blood - her own though - trickling down one nostril. Again, the rookie seems to panic, goes into full retreat mode. Alexis of course not letting her off that easily, charges in taking swipes at her arms to get the opening she wants. Left uppercut to tummy bends Russo over with a ugggh, then right uppercut lands cleanly on chin, sending her body flying back up and back! Cailin hit s the canvas with a THUD and stays completely still. It’s over!!

Official Decision: Alexis Ren defeats Cailin Russo via KO5!

After: “Who’s the queen of Instagram HUH?!” Alexis squeals as she roars at the crowd in attendance, pumping both arms in and out on either side. Those in attendance of course shouting back, eager to see their chosen Internet goddess back on the winning track.

Cailin looking dejected at her debut performance ending by shock knockout in the fifth round. She’s already sitting up after having made a quick recovery, defiance on her face as Alexis comes sauntering over, wide smile by contrast.

“How’d you like me now, Russo? Still think you can dance with the big girls?” Alexis taunts her workplace competition, plunging fingers into her hair whilst tugging her face upwards to worship her body in face to tummy pose.

Russo not replying - her furrowed eyes and pursed lips say it all. Alexis not giving up the moment, however, snapping at a ring official to toss her phone into the ring.

“Let’s capture this moment forever, whaddaya say?” Alex grins, tugging hard on Cailin’s hair and making her groan further. Russo struggling in her grasp, pain in her scalp forcing her face upwards at an awkward angle. Meanwhile, gleeful Ren just holding the camera up at awkward angle and positioning the shot downwards to capture both their faces, iconic photo sealing her victory but serving also as reminder to the rest of the would-be social media starlets that she’s queen of this domain. Cailin’s own face a mixture of shocked defiance at her humiliating treatment but her lips starting to quiver and fight back the tears at the humiliation.

With a final shove, Alexis sends Cailin sprawling back to the canvas, then the Vixen takes a final victory lap about the ring before blowing a kiss to the cameras, just for kicks.