"Mystery Blonde" vs Emily DiDonato
( ??? vs FCBA Free Agent)
( ??? vs 0-2)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago

BEFORE: Even considering Nicole Scherzinger's terrible demise against Eliza Dushku just minutes ago, it's still a huge surprise to see someone else than the Hawaiian native starring in the Main Event of a Beach Boxing card held in the Waimea Bay of all places. The odds were stacked against Nicole based on her cold streak over the past couple of years but still... who deserves more attention than the finest FCBA body to come from this state?

Emily DiDonato? Well, she's not exactly your new kid in town this side of the Hudson River... say hello to Orange County, New York!!!

Oh yes, the Mystery Blonde!!! Does Tess Valmore sponsor this card? Could it be that long-time bitter rivals, she and LCA owner Mr. V, have joined forces and presented the FCBA with the one and only??? Well, exhibit a) They don't grow blondes in Hawaii... exhibit b) Nashville is the last place where you'd seek a Hawaiian connection...

So what gives???

Emily knows all about it once she notices who enters the ring from the opposite side... "It had to be you...." oh yes, now we get the connection in full picture, sports fans... but more on that later... besides, she was told about her on the plane already...

{{{ Roll tape: THREE DAYS BEFORE }}}

Emily en face to the camera: "I've been shipped here first class, you know, they've said a private sponsor wants me to shoot some beach pics... the usual stuff, I thought Turks & Caicos here we go again... I thought they'll bring in Alex Morgan or Caro Wozniacki or people like that but then again, it's July and we usually shoot in December... and then they told me... well, I'm still a free agent you know, I can't stay on these Vixens cards forever... so I said, why not? But I'm probably the first person from the outside who knows WHO the Mystery Blonde is... it's a challenge but you know, I'm the new face, she's... well, let's just wait and see..."

{{{ Tape fades away to the Waimea Valley landscape }}}

Mystery Blonde (let's call her Tess for future reference) wears a turquoise & black themed bikini and white gloves. Long blonde hair straight. Emily DiDonato wears a loose yellow sleeveless shirt tied in a knot just below the breasts, blue knickers and matching blue gloves. Long brown hair in loose waves. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the lightweight division.

Round 1:
Both women circle around each other for a while before the mystery blonde teases Emily into a quick attack... one has to earn her salary one way or another but the initial tangle brings the New York native little success as the mystery blonde dekes well on her feet to avoid the leather rush before looping several overhand strikes to keep her at bay. Both women seem happy to follow a mid-distance approach but Emily just can't find a way through the blonde's high guard and lacks the mean punch in general. It's rude to call her a lightweight creampuff but some of the fans think she's simply overwhelmed by the exprience however the mystery blonde refuses to trigger a more aggressive approach and only smiles back at the brunette's half-hearted efforts.

Round 2:
The crowd hopes that the lukewarm opening round was just the proverbial calm before the storm and well, the storm comes courtesy of the blonde in the second as she ups her work-rate to force some quick moves across the sand from the otherwise delightful brunette. Emily's relative inexperience prevents her from immediately responding to the charge but she holds her ground down the stretch and avoids getting trapped on the ropes before suddenly blasting the most powerful strike of the bout yet that scythes the blonde across the mouth and wobbles her on her heels. Blonde almost trips over the sand as she tries to regain her balance but there's DiDonato cranking up some juice and finding the target upstairs. She swivels the wavy blonde hair around her rival's neck and digs a vicious hook on the cleavage that makes the other woman squeal in pain. A futile attempt to lock a clinch drops the blonde even further back as Emily powers through and dominates a late jabbing rally to close out the round. The New Yorker looks really stunned by the successful conclusion and maybe this Main Event still has another mystery to solve after all!

Round 3:
Emily's really up for the task now and outworks the blonde in close range before landing some shots to the chest and that clearly affects the other woman. A brief clinching stalemate follows but the brunette breaks the deadlock and beats the blonde for a quick left-on-left while adding another harpoon to the ribcage in quick succession. The blonde drops on her heels and kicks extra sand in frustration when she gets stuffed with more punches to the body. DiDonato now barks in her efforts to further establish herself in this bout and the sheer workload allows her to keep the mystery opponent at bay through the final minute. More sand gets kicked up as both women show impressive agility considering their professional pedrigree but the brunette fails to add the really big punches to further dent the blonde's confidence even if she wins the round via artistic impression. Mind you, one doesn't complain about the artistic value of both of these women and the crowd really hopes they'll punch each other to shreds going forward. Even the Scherzinger/Dushku clash didn't earn so much applause from the Hawaiian audience and that really tells you something about the Lioness match-making proccess!

Round 4:
Enough with letting the brunette look like a seasoned gatekeeper veteran... the blonde realizes she won't beat her up without showing her full potential and another mid-distance tangle swings the bout into her favor. She beats DiDonato for the initial punch and hammers in more quick shots on the nose to knock the brunette back. Emily tries to swing one from the back foot but finds nothing except thin air and gets plastered with a right cross that damages her right brow ridge on the spot. Ugh! She sinks on jelly knees and can't apply a proper clinch in order to delay further punishment so the other woman just lays into her during a one-sided final minute. DiDonato gets pummelled back to the ropes where she soaks up all the juice she can take, there's plenty of it alright but that's also a preview of what the blonde has in store here! She stacks Emily behind a desperate earmuff and looks annoyed when the bell eventually halts her charge. But there's a lot more to come soon...

Round 5:
Sure enough, the injection pace proves difficult for DiDonato to sustain on the long run... she notices the change in her opponent's demeanour but she can do little about it now... she fends off the initial jabbing heat and even loops some promising shots on her own but when the other woman cranks it up, nobody in the crowd has any doubts where this fight is going. Emily kicks up some sand in an attempt to perhaps distract the charging foe but she eats a faceful of leather during a bruising second minute and gets trapped on the ropes again as the blonde ravages her to the body to ignore the desperate high guard. The brunette's midriff takes a beating and she's clearly in some bother as she can't even find those single punches anymore and tries to limit the damage. She drops her arms in a futile effort to prevent the blonde from chopping her guts into mush but then a swift hook upstairs adds to the swelling on the brow ridge and leaves DiDonato whimpering for air at the bell. At half-distance the mystery woman has finally forged ahead and the big smile on her face says it all.

Round 6:
Emily tries to furher delay the blonde's charge but gets outworked in close range and trips back on her heels, she dekes to the left which makes her other woman miss with her initial drive but then a looping cross from the left finds that wounded brow ridge and results in DiDonato whimpering again under pressure. Emily's cross goes nowhere and she gets stacked with another left hook before the blonde camps in her cleavage and almost unties the knot under the jugs. Ugh! The brunette begins to squeal as she gets picked off from point blank range before dropping on the ropes for good. She throws a couple of heart-hearted jabs but the other girl works around her swollen brow ridge and lands a nasty combo that bends Emily forward into more spasms. A quick hook on the chest makes the brunette moan: "Oh, Gawd.." and a pinpoint follow up pierces the solar plexus which overcomes the last resort of DiDonato's resistance... THE BRUNETTE GOES DOWN on her knees and the loud yelps coming from her mouth indicate how improbable her recovery is... nope, it could be the swollen brow ridge or the undisclosed salary she received from the Lioness brass but she prefers to stay down and spare herself further punishment against a superior woman... KO6 Mystery Blonde... or well, your newest Lioness Club of America member!!

AFTER: The mystery is revealed as the victorious woman offers the fallen brunette a helping hand. But of course everyone recognizes the face from the Sports Illustrated covers:

"I hope I wasn't too rough on you there in the end? Serinda told me you're quite a tough cookie!",

"Indeed, I am but well, I wish I knew what I've signed for a little bit earlier. When they told me on the plane I took all this extra cash to fight Brooklyn Decker somewhere in Hawaii I couldn't believe it!"

"Trust me, a great deal of people won't believe it either! We had to keep Irina Shayk off Instagram not to spoil the surprise (laughs)"

Karolina Kurkova approaches the two fellow models and officially takes over the introduction duties as poor Nicole Scherzinger still hasn't recovered from her epic knockout defeat at the hands of Eliza Dushku:

"OK, so here it is... Nicole was supposed to do this but well, you know, okay, so everyone recognizes the name, the face and all that... I mean, I almost wish Lily Aldridge was here instead of me but she's busy back in the gym (laughs),

Okay, so Brooklyn... can we finally call you Brooklyn? You didn't fool anyone acting as Tess Valmore back at the hotel. They do sell Sports Illustrated around Hawaii, besides, it's 21st century after all..."

"And I was called the 21st Century Goddess before getting canned..." (laughs)

"OK, so the media will flood in with questions once the word gets out... heck, we're trending on twitter already... but Brooks, how about that fight? Do we really need to talk about it? It's all about the future, isn't it?"

"It is but let me just say Emily will enjoy a long and successful career over in the FCBA. She was anything but a tomato can who just accepted the cash. But I admit, she got paid like a rock star! She accepted the fight on relative short notice, against an unknown opponent but Mr. V told her I'm a seasoned pro with a Hall of Fame record... without actually being a member of the Hall (laughs). She only found out three days before the fight but still went in there like a champ... I really love the kid!"

"Okay, so back to the future... what's next for the newest Lioness girl?"

"Well, the August PPV is coming up next and I'm looking for a fight... I've got some ideas already!"

"Your old management made all the calls, I hear you'll have a little more freedom down here with the Lionesses?"

"Well, I hear the same things. Look, I'm no upstart nor spring chicken compared to some of these new girls. But if I'm the true heir apparent to Charlize Theron's throne then I need to pick my own battles. Some of my opponents back in Philly didn't really serve my purpose any good. And look now, Hannah Ferguson, Karlie Kloss, Hilary Rhoda and of course Kate 'The Great' lead the viewing numbers while I got fired and replaced by let's face it, a younger model. What do all these girls have that I don't?"

"Well... I hear you've rejected one offer since landing on the market and several people wanted to sign you but nobody could trace you anywhere. What's all about that?"

"So I took a couple of months off. Big deal. I knew my name will be scouted by just about anyone who ever saw me in action... but well, here I am... you don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm back!!" (laughs)

"I suspect everyone would like to hear about your schedule beyond the August PPV, the JMDD drill, the infamous Kate Upton ducking... so many things to discuss but I see our boss signals we should leave it here. I'm sure Tess Valmore will be making some phone calls soon... you know, she's apparently in much better relations with Mr. V lately."

"You don't say?" (laughs)

"OK, so those were the first impressions from our fellow Lioness... the all new and shiny Lioness... and of course she'll be presented with the leopard print bikini during tonight's private introduction session. Everyone's invited to our party and well, I guess we can say Nicole's homecoming event turned out to be a little different than previously planned!"

However introducing Brooklyn Decker into the Lioness Club of America was Mr. V's original plan all along...

Final result: Brooklyn Decker def. Emily DiDonato KO6.