Post by on Aug 31, 2017 at 3:36pm

The Man In The Hat sits, as usual, at the center of the dais. To his left are Chloe Bennet, Gemma Arterton, Anna Torv, Neve Campbell, Jewel, Pink, Grace Park, Kesha, and Alison Brie. To his right sit Jane Levy, Kristen Stewart, Antje Utgaard, Britney Spears, Mariska Hargitay, Kesha, Leelee Sobieski, Emma Roberts, and Avril Lavigne.

Man In The Hat: "OK. As usual, before we get to questions, there are some people I want to thank. We'll start with Bazz, our regular guests here at Asylum. Another great fight tonight, courtesy of that stable, and, that's what you always get when a Bazz girl comes to town. And, of course, I want to thank the Texan indies who competed here tonight. As always, the indies are the backbone of Asylum and we always enjoy giving talented girls without management a chance to get into the spotlight. And, last but certainly not least, the FCBA Commission for sanctioning these fights and making Asylum possible. Now. Questions. Cable Boy. Go!"

HBO Reporter: "We saw a couple of your flyweights tonight, Kristen and Jane, and that's always been a troublesome division for you. Is that turning around now?"

Man In The Hat (smiling): "It started turning around when we put Britney in charge of the division. Now, we've had some ups and downs since then, and that's the way things are in the FCBA, there's no 'straight up', but, since Brit took over, we've been trending upward and that continues. We're now at a point, I think, where we have two girls who've developed into contenders in the division, and those are the two girls you just mentioned. Cable Boy II! Talk to me!"

Showtime Reporter: "Let's go to the other end of the spectrum and talk about welter. That was a solid performance from Antje tonight..."

Man In The Hat: "It was. I've said this before and I'll say it again. Antje Utgaard is the most athletically gifted woman in the FCBA. There's nothing she can't accomplish here. Nothing at all. BLONDE! Magazine! Let's hear it!"

BLONDE! Magazine Reporter: "Anna Torv's a girl who's been around the title picture for some time. She's only had the one shot, though. I know the goal is to get her another opportunity..."

Man In The Hat (deadpan): "That's EXACTLY what the goal is, and that's exactly the direction we're moving in. It won't happen this year, but I'm confident that it WILL happen.Tess, dear, go ahead."

Tess: "Talking about your lightweights, Gemma looked very good tonight against solid opposition..."

Man In The Hat: "Gems is as good as anyone we have, as I've said before. You saw what she brings to the table tonight. She was in very tough, against a girl who's already beaten her once, and she found a way to get things done. Because, that's what she does and that's who she is. Smackeroo! Dinner time. Take us there!"

Reporter: "I want to talk about Chloe Bennet for the second month in a row. Again, impressive tonight. Got in a hole against a champion and worked her way out."

Man In The Hat (smiling): "Yes, I sense a pattern here..."

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "As I said before, one goal for Chloe is to stop getting IN holes, but, you know, it's great when you're never out of a fight, and Ms. Bennet is never out of a fight. She's got a ton of talent, as we've seen, and she's getting better by the day. And, that's no exaggeration. By. The. Day. I think we're at the point now where she's just about broken into that club of elite bantams. And, that ain't an easy club to get into. Now. Dinner time! Tess! Smackey! Limo!"