Avril Lavigne

(33, 5’2, 130 lbs, 3:6 FCBA, The Dollhouse)  

Vs.

Ariana Grande

(24, 5’1, 94 lbs 5:15 FCBA, Queens of the Mic) 

Results: Lookout!; Story: Caspian & The Dollhouse

BEFORE: 

Our final match of the night, and the main event, will be a bitter grudge rematch between two rival singers, Avril Lavigne and Ariana Grande! A rematch Ariana was waiting for since Avril bested her in her ring comeback bout. 

The press conference is a grim affair with both girls looking focused but impatient, eager to be done with the pre-fight nonsense and get to the ring as quickly as possible.  

"This b*tch is f*cking dead! I didn't want to give her a rematch, because she doesn't deserve one. She still totally doesn't, but this cheater tried to humiliate me. How dare she?! Now she's gonna get her stupid ass kicked all over that ring. She might be thinking she got what she wanted, but after tonight this WIMP is gonna wish she never fucked with me!" Avril speaks first, not even glancing at the brunette, pretending she’s not in the room. 

Ariana responds with a giggle, and then fires back with a priggish tone. "I didn't humiliate her - she humiliated herself by throwing that pathetic punch at me and then couldn't handle the consequences. I KNEW it would be enough to make this airhead give me this rematch after she’s been avoiding it for months. I KNEW she wouldn't be able to resist after that huge blow to her ego. I mean, did you SEE how she dropped? It was hilarious! I'm here to finish the job I started, and we all know she can't handle me. Lightning doesn’t strike twice, she’s not landing another lucky punch on me this time. And… if she thinks what I did to her last month was humiliating… just wait till later tonight, she has NO IDEA what’s coming to her. Get your cameras ready guys!" 

Ariana finishes her monologue, stands up and turns her head to Avril for the first time, smiling cockily at the blonde, who seems visibly annoyed, staring daggers at the younger diva before Ariana simply turns her back to her and leaves the room along with her entourage.   

Avril’s entrance into the arena goes as well as can be expected: fans oohinh and aahing as her trademark punk-pop music starts blasting through the speakers and shaking the very foundations of the building. The blonde wearing her trademark attire, a sports bra and short tights, in pink and black, of course, with matching gloves, her hair tied in a high ponytail. She has her arms raised above her head as she slowly makes her way to the ring, smiling to the cheering fans, followed by her trainer Kristanna Loken. Very much her style here: go big or go home. Also serves as form of intimidation for her rivals, of course. Ms Lavigne going through an effective training camp these past few weeks, fresh off another victory over Sarah Hyland and now itching to best Ariana Grande again in singles action. 

Avril finally enters the ring and begins stretching in her corner, Kristanna Loken busy pep talking her fighter who clearly can’t afford to lose tonight or the Dollhouse will have a disaster on their hands. 

Avril’s music ends abruptly, immediately replaced by Ariana’s pop music, filling the arena to a mix of loud boos and but almost as many cheers. Here she comes through the curtains, one of the biggest pop divas of recent times, Ariana Grande confidently struts her way to the ring, hands on hips, smiling all the way through. She has her own legion of fans in the rafters, no doubt, and they make their support known with shrill screams and inappropriate whistling.  

The pop-diva is wearing a silver colored attire, with a silver bra and matching hotpants, her toned tanned body on full display for her male fans, with her long dark brown hair up in her trademark high ponytail, the young pop star loves to outshine her competition, and is always a sight to behold! 

Ignore the fact that Grande is now coming off an abysmal 11 fights losing streak, and you wonder what else these rabid fans are clinging onto besides her looks. One thing we can say, Ariana has the heart and tenacity of a lioness, not giving up just yet, and the charisma to boot, not letting her losing record discourage her tonight.  

Ariana reaches the ring and elegantly climbs inside, striking a final pose for the crowd before going to her corner accompanied by her entourage, and begins warming up, including an impressive shadow boxing display. 

With both fighters finally in the ring and ready to turn the war of words physical, the fans of both musical princesses are about to explode in anticipation for the action to start. But not just yet. 

The ref calls both girls to the center of the ring from their corners, Ariana strutting towards the ref with a smug grin on her face, looking the older blonde up and down as she approaches, and smiling. 

The girls finally stand facing each other mid ring, hands on their hips, as the cheers from the crowd become deafening.   

“Ready to be humiliated in front of your fans again, chubby?” Ariana teases and pokes the blonde’s soft midsection with her glove. 

Avril recoils for a second, but immediately retaliates, the hot headed blonde responding in kind by swinging wildly with an open fist, trying to glove-slap the smaller singer! The agile diva quickly pulls her head back just in time to avoid the surprise attack, and the referee immediately jumps in between the girls, blocking any further illegal attempts and giving Avril a stern warning. 

“WAY too slow chubby!” Ariana grins, mocking the blonde again for her failed attempt. 

“Shut the f*ck up you weakling! You’re dead!” Avril screams as the referee pushes her away, escorting the furious blonde back to her corner before going over the rules with her as the blonde rolls her eyes and nods impatiently. 

With both girls now back in their corners, the crowd finally gets their wish as the referee signals for the bell! DING DING! And here we finally go with ten rounds of MAIN EVENT flyweight grudge match action! 

ROUND 1: 

Lots of pressure on either girl as they seek to establish themselves as the future leaders of this division: Avril as legitimate belt contender one day and Ariana - well, Ariana, let's just say that she would rather NOT get her bum belted for the umpteenth time tonight. Not to mention, exact some sweet, sweet revenge. Both girls start off in a mad scramble to plant leather, any semblance of deliberate strategy flying out window as they just flail hands at each other. C’mon ref… is this a boxing match or Catfight Fridays at Louis’? Still, hard to blame both girls, the animosity reaching boiling point recently, resulting in this mad fray at each other. Avril grunting as her chin walloped stiffly, disorienting her for moment too long... Ariana with exertive breaths as she continues her wild swinging, planting another left-right into Avril’s body before her own chin swiped with hard right as well. Girls are separated by the referee when the bell rings, and they’re already left haggard and sucking in air… and we’re only in the first! 

ROUND 2: 

By our prediction Avril took that last round by a close margin. Can she get lucky again? Each fight, she’s told off by her trainers in between rounds ‘not to f*ck this up by getting personal.’ Predictably, dismissive ‘Yeah, yeah’ is always the singer’s response, before she just leaps back in and does as before - business as usual. This time, it’s a painful lesson for Ms Lavigne to learn. She comes in swinging hard, double hooks aimed to catch Grande by surprise and take her head off, but Grande miraculously DUCKS under one, swerves to avoid the other, then DIGS a hard glove straight into the gut! OUCH! Avril folded in two, not knowing what hit her. She needs to snap outta that reverie as Grande realising perfect situation to pull back for another punch - Avril’s guard barely up when the cold hook crashes into the face! She’s ROCKED! Avril thrown on defensive as she’s walked backwards, Grande keeping on the pressure, punching and punching at the guard hoping that this here’s the end. Nope - either girl still too fresh, staving off the inevitable. Avril saving herself by not getting trapped on the ropes, but no one can argue this was a terrible round for her.  

“You’re just terrible at this Avril…and you’re about to be exposed, b*tch!” Ariana taunts the shaken blonde, giggling at her while back paddling to her corner, but the younger singer is silently cursing herself for the missed opportunity at a potential Round 2 knockout. 

ROUND 3: 

She expected a quick and easy fast knockout, just like last time. But now uncertainty creeps in for the Dollhouse wiz kid - Avril beating herself up for having this much trouble putting someone like Ariana Grande away. The last round was a disaster but apparently cooler heads not prevailing one bit, and the two gals clash into one another with another SLAP of bodies, mutual SQUEALS as they PACK punches into each other’s face and tummy incessantly, hoping to get lucky, and if not, injure enough for to win the round. Grande shocked by this development, no doubt - she thought she had Avril on the ropes… So when Avril comes barreling towards her at high speed, she panics: reflex right cross is too slow, too sloppy, and it sails over the head wide. Ariana eats a snap uppercut to jawline as Avril manages to close distance easily, to her detriment. Grande refusing to retreat though, stepping back, then forward as quickly, hooking another stiff blow into Avril’s cheek, which elicits a dull PUHH, then UGHH! from the singer. Girls go at it this way for the rest of the round, back-and-forth, front-and-back action, with Ariana still taking the round by the tiniest of margins, but really, the real winner is Ms Lavigne, who surges back into this fight with a message that she’s not quite done yet, b*tches! 

ROUND 4: 

This round’s Avril’s turn to shine and she f*cking knows it. Two steps forward and Ariana just sluggish by comparison, with her opponent on her case before she even realises it - Ariana eating a two-punch combo spanking off her waistline before again getting her head stung by more jabs as Avril closes and fires away. Avril trying to put her down right here and now, walking Grande backwards as she hooks left after left, right after right, bombing away at her guard, which begins to look more and more shaky by the minute. Ariana trying to create distance and escape - she understands that she simply can't stand and brawl with this crazed woman without taking some damage. Long distance punches land on Avril’s face and nose as the round whittles down to the zero count, with Lavigne AGAIN frustrated at not being able to catch her rival flush on the cheek and just floor her once and for all. Grande beaming when the bell rings, means she gets to rest for a few minutes before the onslaught continues. Things looking south however for the American singer at this point. Pity though - she began this fight full of promise. Let's hope she can turn things around in the fifth... 

ROUND 5: 

We stand corrected - Ariana on downward spiral, slated for crash landing instead. We should have seen the signs early on in the match – the close-range brawling which doesn’t favor the smaller brunette and the lackluster punches, the cockiness. Once again the diva’s over enthusiasm gets the best of her here - sprint of energy at the start of the fight very quickly giving way to painful reality: that going the distance matters in this sport. Fifth round and Ariana looking like she hasn’t recovered from that last round, face contorted with what seems to be pain – Grande is clearly hurt, and its definitely slowing her down. Opening minute and, token jab jab jab at the face and body doing little to deter the Canadian’s wanton aggression: Avril digging deep into her reserves and here she comes swiping away those incoming hands, manages to get into Ariana’s guard and PLANTS uppercut right to the jawline! GRANDE STUNNED, FLAILING BACKWARDS! Here comes Lavigne looking to finish… more shots to the body bend her over with heavy grunts, then a NASTY hook to the face lands flush on the cheek - not as beautifully for Grande, who simply rotates on the spot and falls face first into the canvas. She’s not moving, folks! Ref calls it off! And just like that - It’s over!! 

Official Decision: Avril Lavigne defeats Ariana Grande via KO5! 

AFTER: 

Crowd going wild with delirium - if this performance and win tonight isn’t enough to prove that Avril Lavigne is back in the game (and killin’ it), I don’t know what will! Ariana the unfortunate victim here tonight, that sacrificial lamb that’s slain twice now to prove that Avril’s simply better. The Canadian singer soaking in the applause and praise for a moment, catching her breath, before she approaches her former rival’s body, surveying it with abject glee. Ariana getting rotated onto her back by medical staff, her eyes still glued shut and lips quivering as though having the worst of nightmares. No mercy from Avril, however, as she seals the fate of this bitter rivalry with a sudden STOMP of her foot into Ariana’s midsection, drawing an immediate OOOUUHHH from the singer’s lips. Well, at least that woke her up, right? 

Avril continuing the abuse from above, both physically and verbally, stamping her foot into the body and punting the poor girl in the back when she tries to curl up into fetal position for more cover. Avril finally satisfied, posing by standing astride her foe’s hurting body, before spitting down on her face and screaming, “MESS with me again b*tch, and I’ll f*cking KILL you next time, GOT IT?!”  

Avril then asks for a microphone, looking around at the thousands of fans cheering for her. 

“Hell Yeaaaahh!" She screams. "You guys liked that?! This is what happens when you run your mouth and dare to cheap shot me!” She then looks down at Grande’s prone body and continues. “Ariana, you’re a f*cking wimp, a loser, and I NEVER want to hear or see your dumb face near me again! Got it?! Oh yeah, and your music sucks ass! Peace bit**es!” She ends throwing the microphone away and lifting her arms in triumph one last time as the crowd cheers the triumphant blonde for several long minutes. 

Ariana’s pride still holding her response out, gritting her teeth and just making herself look small. No doubt revenge already on her mind, but for tonight, all she can do is not antagonize her tormentress any longer. 

Finally satisfied, Avril exits the ring to continue her celebration with her ecstatic team mates at ringside.  

Another big win for her tonight and we can’t wait to see who’s her next victim in this surprise comeback!