Lily Collins

(28, 5’6, 112, 10:2 FCBA, VIXENs)

vs

Avril Lavigne

(33, 5’2, 1:5 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
(Words: Caspian / Results: Lookout!)

BEFORE:
"Lily LOVES talking sh*t and acting like she's some big badass… sticking her stupid nose where it doesn't belong. She also seems to be completely OBSESSED with her body and fitness… I mean… look at her! She honestly looks more anorexic and weak than fit to me! Get the girl some food, jeez!

Obviously she's doing all of that trying to hide her insecurities.... I'm sure she's been bullied for years for being a wimpy nerd… It's kinda pathetic and sad if you ask me.

And when it comes to boxing, It took her SEVEN rounds to BARELY beat a jobber like Ariana Grande! I mean, how sad is that? It only took me TWO rounds and I barely broke a sweat..... this b*tch is about to find out why!"

For once, in a long while, Lily Collins not the one doing most of the talking, instead allowing her opponent free reign to mouth off to reporters at the pre-fight press conference. When there's finally a semblance of uneasy silence, Collins finally sits up and chimes in: “Oh, I’m sorry - were you done yakking off?” to which Avril turns a bright shade of pink from mixture of embarrassment and anger.

Collins doesn't give her another chance to hog the mic, immediately follows up with another jab: “I hope you plan on doing more than use your mouth in the ring later tonight. In fact, judging from the sorry state you're in, perhaps you should’ve spent more time in the gym than in front of the cameras, fattie.”

Well, that insult seems to have taken the cake (no pun intended), with Ms Lavigne flying out of her seat with a shriek, lunging at Collins from across the table. Fortunately, the security detail intercepts her in the nick of time and prevents a pre-fight kerfuffle. Nope, both girls herded to the ring shortly after for both their sakes. Lily is dressed in black bikini and dark green gloves, and Avril in her black and pink outfit with similar-coloured mitts. Even in the ring, Lily still doing psychological damage when she gestures repeatedly at Avril’s slightly pudgy waistline and breaks out into sporadic giggles, sending the singer fuming even more and shouting back “SHUT UP AND FIGHT. I’LL KNOCK THOSE TEETH OUT BY THE END OF TONIGHT JUST YOU F*CKING WAIT!”

ROUND 1:
Lily goes to work almost immediately at breaking down Avril’s body, right hand sailing under her guard and straight into her gut in the first exchange of the evening - and we’re barely ten seconds in! Lavigne’s face contorts in pain as the blow catches her completely off guard (you’d think that all that back and forth about being flabby would’ve clued her in) as she was busy protecting her face with both hands. She lets out a gruff UGHH as Lily digs two more shots into her paunch before she manages to scamper backwards in a hurry. The Canadian singer’s not getting off that easily, however, especially since this is Collins we’re talking about, who rushes in after her and mixes up her attacks high and low, playing with her prey with rapid fire jabs that abound. This might be Ms Lavigne’s management’s greatest nightmare as their girl getting shown the ropes, quite literally, when Collins backs Avril into the ropes and shows off her clinch-work as well, burying right hands into her body over and over and just working the paunch in tight embrace. Lavigne getting herself massacred in the opening round - this doesn’t bode well for her at all for the remainder of this match. Beating Ariana might be one thing, but the one who bested Vanessa Hudgens? Ms Lavigne might be in for the toughest fight of her life here tonight!

ROUND 2:
Lily clearly smiling to herself as she headed back to corner in the previous round, glad to have had some tummy practice. Start of the second and looks like she’s gonna get right back right into where she left off, slapping more jabs into Avril’s body in the first minute. Make no mistake though, Avril’s fighting back like her pride depended on it, but each time she winds back for a big shot, she gets stunned in the chest or belly just by a faster Collins. That is of course, until the last minute, when Ms Lavigne finally begins to take the advice of her trainer Kristanna Loken, who’s been shouting at her from her corner, repeatedly asking her to start jabbing instead of swinging. A one-two combo lands straight on Lily’s nose as a result, knocking her head backwards and that cocky smile clean off her face. Collins barely has time to raise her guard before another strong hook plows into her side. Collins thrown backwards from the force but grits her teeth and surges forward again, sustaining the body pressure with more reckless jabbing, but Avril knows her routine now, uses the Vixen’s obsession to her own advantage and SLAMS more jabs into her face by the end of the third minute. Lily looking stunned by this sudden turn of tables, glaring wide-eyed at Avril when the bell rings, who blows her a kiss and can’t resist another verbal taunt before she heads back to corner: “What’s the matter, Lily?? Can’t take some of your own medicine??”

ROUND 3:
Uh oh - only thing worse than a woman scorned is two women scorned. Here in the third, they both come straight for each other… and DANG IT they both score with a right hand to the face at the same time! Neither girl retreating however, keeping their balance and then CONTINUE to wail away. Lily first rooting Avril to the spot with more body blows, sending a barrage of punches into her rapidly reddening stomach, but that tide seems to turn immediately when Avril lets fly an uppercut straight up into her jaw, letting loose a guttural cry that might be mix of both pain and triumph. Collins’ head snaps back and her eyes flutter away from the impact - it sends her backing away as though she knows she’s in sudden danger. Avril coming onto her with another shriek, wails away on her forearms and plugs hooks into her gut for some payback action, but Lily not willing to let herself get trapped on the ropes, walking the singer around the rings in circles and making Avril look uncoordinated by just coming at her in straight line. In the last minute, Lily begins to rally, stopping Avril’s advance with some choice shots into her chin, more to stun her than putting any power behind them, but it seems to do the trick. Avril now hanging back, wary about closing in, but it could also be simple exhaustion from charging at the brunette for the past three minutes. Still, hardly a victory for Collins as she lets her opponent take the round wide this time.

ROUND 4:
More verbal jabbing from Avril as she shoots her mouth off in the first seconds:, “NOT SO TOUGH NOW, ARE YA YOU BRITISH BIM—HUNNGGHH!!” Lily responding in kind with a right cross straight to that button nose - WHAAP - she follows the surprise attack with more punches to the face to prevent her opponent from letting loose a stern rebuttal. Avril’s nose throbbing but she lets out a deep growl and fires right back. Girls trade punches to the head in quick succession - whap whap WHAP HGGGH UGHH - mutual hatred for each other making them stand their ground and refuse to retreat an inch. But Avril facing the consequences a little more severely, undercarriage troubled with more digs deep into her paunch, Lily’s glove trembling off her belly flesh. Avril’s close to sobbing as her body wilts into Lily’s arms, half-heartedly still pawing and swiping at the Brit’s face up top. Collins leading her back to the ropes, eager to conclude this fluke of a fight and get to the main event, which is Vanessa freakin’ Hudgens, but Avril stubbornly refusing to go down even though she’s literally on the ropes. Her guard getting battered and even her chest gets violated by a few invasive shots right before the bell rings, leaving Lavigne blubbering and clutching at her body with both arms as she sinks down to her knees. Head Dollhouse Trainer Kristanna Loken looking troubled the whole way, rushes into the ring after the round is over and tries to help Avril back to her corner, to which the enraged singer roughly shoves her aside, not intending to appear weak in front of her rival tonight. But only concern left in Loken’s eyes - she looks ready to throw in the towel if this one-sided affair continues for another few rounds...

ROUND 5:
Avril’s body showing signs of bruising already, but her face filled with a certain malice that would send chills down your spine. Lily trying to stay focused when the bell rings hoping to maintain this momentum, but when you have a crazed banshee in your face it’s hard to do anything but duck your head and weather out the storm! First minute sees Avril charging, just wailing away on Lily’s front guard, enraged shrieking as she bangs away without much precision. Lily not taking much damage from the wild blows until Lavigne gets in a bit too close and BANGS away a lucky shot right across her forehead. UGH! Brit goes stumbling back, seeing stars, unable to block the rest of the incoming blows this time. Another left-right connect with her mouth, then a right hook DINGS off her chin - AND DOWN LILY GOES!! Crowd roars in unexpected frenzy and Avril’s flash of surprise immediately replaced with a SCREAM of her own as she runs back to corner to a beaming Kristanna Loken. Could this be it??

Count hits 6 and Lily’s still sputtering on all fours, shaking her head back-and-forth, more in denial of humiliation rather than in pain. 8 and she’s back up on her feet, checking her balance with a screwed up expression of agony. Of course, Avril taunting her every step of the way, arms draped on either side in her corner: “What’s the matter, Lily? Cat got your tongue?” and “TOLD YA YOU SUCK, COLLINS!”

Lily’s expression remains stoic as the round continues and Avril looks set to end this - she comes flying out of corner and resumes her rapid-fire barrage, but is mildly annoyed when she finds Lily’s guard still high and intact, continuing to weather and hold. Avril resorts to swiping low, breaking down Lily’s abs with chugging blows below. Lily grunting but doesn't retreat, instead stands her ground and begins counterattack: SNAP goes a right hand up into Avril’s chin; POP as another whips her head backwards - Avril leaving herself open to counter uppercuts as Lily just has her revenge with her in the final minute. Stubborn girl however still flailing away at Collins’ guard as though still thinking she can end it this round, unpleasantly shocked when she’s now on receiving end of a third WHAP to the chin and it’s her head snapping backwards unpleasantly loud. Lily huffing as she steps in and HOOKS a right hand that spins her opponent on her feet - AND DOWN AVRIL GOES!! SHOCK revenge knockout in the final seconds as Lily has her cake and eats it, sending Lavigne face down onto the canvas! Now it’s the OTHER girl who’s fighting to save her place in this contest.

3…4… Avril still punch-drunk, doing her best to get back to all fours but her body not cooperating, shivering and shaking as she musters the remainder of her strength. Loken screaming at her from corner, banging both fists on the canvas to create some noise.

5…6… Lily herself not in the best shape - she reminds herself that she just recovered from a knockdown not too long ago, now breathing heavily as she rests against the turnbuckle in corner.

7… 8… 9……. Avril FINALLY making back up... using the ropes for extra support. Crowds giving her some encouragement and applauding her fighting spirit. She’s too spent now for any verbal barbs, stumbling back to her corner trying to catch every bit of precious air.

What a round! Both girls scoring big but I’d bet Collins stealing the rug from under her opponent with that last minute comeback.

ROUND 6:
That knockdown in round five seems to have broken Ms Lavigne’s spirit (or it could just be pure exhaustion setting in) - she gets walked down for a majority of the round, girls meeting in the center but Lily the one stepping up the tempo with multiple jabs to the face. Avril surprised at her opponent’s agility and stamina - she looks like she just wants to curl up into a ball in front of the fire and go to sleep, but Lily refuses to let her go that easily, wants to dominate… After first thirty seconds Avril can no longer sustain her dance, in full retreat mode, with Lily chasing after her and just flicking punch after punch into every opening she sees. “AWWW... F*CKING B*TCH!!” Avril squeals as Lily comes in close and slaps a left-right combo into her chest, before ducking under a wild right hook from the Girlfriend singer. Lavigne losing her balance when she eats another combo to the nose and lips, suddenly seeing stars - is this it?? Hell no - Avril saved by the ropes on her back, and Lily has to do a little more work here. Try as she might, Avril still resisting though, covering up her body and making herself look small. She might just survive this round by the skin of her teeth, but hell if we can call this a victory for her by all definitions. Avril left open-mouthed on shoulder as Lily continues with the body abuse in the last few seconds, smacking leather in and out, over and over, the Brit even having the dare to dig her glove deep into her paunch after the bell rings, taking a fistful of flesh in her grasp and taunting: “What did I tell you, Lavigne? All FLAB and no FIGHT.” to which the Canadian merely moans in response at another disastrous round.

ROUND 7:
First minute of the new round and looks like Avril’s appetite for revenge roaring once again, comes straight for Lily and starts peppering her with punches. She’s digging into reserves here - wild blows landing on every part of skin except where it counts, however, but Lily doesn’t realise this until the middle of the round when she begins to fight back, squaring her feet and springing forward with a right cross that grazes her cheek. Avril stunned as the punch connects but doesn’t do a ton of damage. Still, it’s enough for someone already in dire straights. She clinches up to save her own skin, a hail mary move that would work with anyone lesser, but this is Lily Collins we’re talking about. The Brit wasting no time, untroubled by the reduction in mobility, resumes burying lefts and rights into the body in alternate fashion, packing power into each blow and folding the poor girl over each fist in some dirty, dirty-boxing skills. Avril gurgling, wide-eyed, but succeeds in swiping glove off Lily’s abs, which stuns her for a moment and gives an already-poised Kristina Loken a glimmer of hope, but then her girl EATS another right cuff to the ear, Collins squaring her shoulders and torquing a painful hook straight into the side of her face. Avril groans, not even putting up her guard this time - a third hook jerks her head to the side at a dangerous angle, rest of body spins on the spot and then CRASHES sideways to canvas in a THIRD knockdown of the evening! This time, however, referee steps in and over Avril’s prone body, WAVES IT OFF! IT’S OVER!!

Official Decision: Lily Collins defeats Avril Lavigne via KO7!

AFTER:
Avril’s fallen form getting kicked over onto her back by a vengeful Collins, who knows her time is limited, especially with Avril’s teammates already starting to scuffle with the ring officials by ringside to get in there and prevent their girl from further humiliation. “Send Nessa my regards, will ya, dearie?” is all Lily hisses before dropping down to her knees and then lowering her tummy down onto the beaten girl’s face. Avril’s shriek muffled immediately by the engulfing darkness - Lily wraps her arms around her waist and bears her tummy down hard into the singer’s face in a brutal reverse tummy-smother.

Lily hears the roar of approval from all sides, but she doesn’t take anything by it and merely assumes that the Dollhouse and VIXENs members have finally clashed ringside. She’s half-right, with girls on either side of the fence reaching boiling point, made worse by Alexis Ren’s victory over Paige in the previous month. Now both stables back to tussling near the barricade, Paige this time getting the upper hand and SPEARING the Alexis clean in the stomach, folding her in half to the ground. Nearby, an overly eager Hayley Williams getting pulled back under the ropes and out of the ring by Megan Fox, who sends her crashing chin-first into the canvas when the sultry brunette TUGS roughly backwards on her feet, then plugging a fist into her tummy when she’s rotated back to face her. Lily reckoning she has a little more time to make her statement tonight, but her hopes fade in an instant when that familiar shrill voice echoes above her: “WHY DON’T YOU TELL ME YOURSELF, B*TCH?!?” *

A sharp pain courses through her spine as none other than Vanessa Hudgens pounces on her hapless victim, sending both knees digging into the small of her back from above, before more needles shoots through her scalp when her tormentress digs her fingernails into her hair and tugs sharply upward. Lily letting out a shrill cry of pain as she’s too stunned to move, let alone retaliate, hands shooting out to protect her head and the back of her spine but still allowing Vanessa to pull her up to her knees, position her face dangerous close to her pulsing tummy.

“Take it in, Lily. You’ll be enjoying the view a LOT more when I wrap you up over and over next time we meet. HERE’S A LITTLE TASTER, YOU BRIT HOE!!”

Lily’s eyes widen as her face is mashed in roughly and disappears in Vanessa’s strained abs. Hudgens relentless, licking her lips as she uses all her strength to her own advantage, scrubbing the Brit’s face back and forth, back and forth. Rest of Lily’s body shuddering violently as she digs her fingernails into Nessa’s body, trying to get herself out of this predicament, even tugging sharply on Nessa’s black bikini bottoms in order to worry Vanessa at being exposed in front of a cheering crowd. But Nessa still in control, at the last moment releases Lily’s shocked face and sends a kneecap WHAP straight up into her chin, dazing her further as Collins falls back onto her back.

“There’s MORE where that came from, Lily. See you in hell…” Vanessa hissing down at her, then celebrating her ‘win’ with good friend Avril still in the ring, helping her back to her feet and not batting an eye when Ms Lavigne helps herself to some wicked kicks of her own into Lily’s prone body as consolation prize, spitting down at her in malice, before both girls exit the ring to the boos of the crowd.