(33, 5’2, 129 lbs, 7:6 FCBA, The Dollhouse) 

Vs.

(32, 5’2, 114 lbs, 4:7 FCBA, Free Agent) 

Our main event is finally upon us, and it is a huge one! A rematch 8 years in the making! Earlier tonight, these two fighters had plenty to say about it:

"I don't CARE what happened 8 years ago, okay?” Avril exclaims at the pre-fight press conference. “I'm getting my f*cking payback today! I've been training a TON for this fight and Gaga is gonna get her ass handed to her. No way in HELL I'm losing tonight. Gaga lost her last FIVE fights and I've been doing nothing but winning since I got back into the ring, so I'm definitely getting my revenge tonight bitches! And guess what?! You’re ALL invited to my celebration party after the fight tonight, free drinks guys! Hell yeah!" Avril grins, certainly looking extremely confident in this second outing as she laughs, enjoying the loud applause in the press room following her surprising open invitation. 

Her opponent is the one-and-only Lady Gaga, famed songstress and controversial figure no matter which arena she finds herself in. She hasn’t really been in the ring much as of late, taking a 2 year hiatus before falling to Miley Cyrus on her return to the ring two months ago. Perhaps that’s why Avril feels it’s the perfect time to exact her revenge.

Gaga however, obviously has different ideas as she quietly sits across the table, arms crossed, starring in contempt at the silly loud mouthed (in her opinion) Canadian. 

"Avril dear, you're so cute.” Gaga finally breaks her silence when things quiet down. “Y’know, when your management first issued the challenge, I laughed real hard. I was almost sure it was some kind of joke. I dominated you when I was a complete rookie…Actually, I beat you so bad it made you quit boxing *chuckles*. Do you really think tonight is going to be any different? How dumb are you? You’ve got nothing going for you except your big mouth and your weak ass body can't handle the hell I'm about to unleash on you, honey… You’re as talentless in the ring as you are at making music. You've made a big mistake booking this fight and you're about to get that loud mouth of yours squeezed shut. The only drinking you'll be doing after tonight is from a straw at the hospital.” Gaga ends on a threatening note and stands up, staring at Avril who can only chuckle nervously, before the Lady turns her back and exits the room followed by her entourage. 

Fighting words issued and now it’s time for both girls to speak with actions, its fight time! And first out is Avril who struts out from backstage all smiles, waving her black and pink boxing gloves to the crowd, clad in her usual pink and black sports bra and matching tights with LAVIGNE written on the left side in pink bold letters, blond hair up in a high ponytail – seems like the minute details of how fast she went down to her opponent back in 2010, in a matinee fight that some say was the last fight to nudge her through the retirement door all but forgotten. Well, comments from the punk princess not changing that much either, to be honest, and we’ll see if this fight will have a different outcome for her this time around.  
Avril now leaning casually against the corner post, arms resting on top rope while listening to some crucial last moment instructions from Kristanna Loken. 

Up next is the Lady herself, and Gaga bursts out from behind the curtain to loud pyrotechnic explosions and thick smoke as her song “Perfect Illusion” blasts through the arena. The crowd goes absolutely wild, and even though this might be Avril’s home court, some would argue the immensely popular pop goddess might actually be the fan favorite over the punk princess here tonight, much to Avril’s dismay. Gaga strikes a sexy pose as she comes out in a pair of black tights and a white top mesh that’s almost the same color as her porcelain skin. Her blonde hair is tied neatly in a braided ponytail and her white gloves resting on her hips as she makes her way to the ring, a confident ‘all business’ look on her face, keeping her eyes locked on her opponent waiting in the ring, unphased by the huge fan support all around her, apparently preferring to stay focused on her objective here tonight. Gaga finally makes it into the ring and immediately shoots Avril an ice cold look on her way to her corner, where she begins her last minute preparations. 

The referee calls both women to the center of the ring for a last moment rules reminder which is met with a deafening silence from both girls as they are too busy staring at each other silently before walking back to their corners without uttering a single word. This is tense! The referee has nothing left to do but call for the bell! Here we go with our main event - ten rounds of Flyweight rematch action! 

Avril surprisingly tame to start things off - what we’ve come to expect of her charging straight for her opponents and going all-out gorilla on them is pretty contrasting to her defensive and hesitant stance now at the beginning. Perhaps her caution at getting knocked the f*ck out again by Gaga is making her hang back and absorb punches instead of giving back much, Gaga using the opportunity to make her threats come true, knocking the Canadian’s head backwards with steady whap whap whap of glove to nose. Avril like a deer in the headlights here as she struggles to fight back, thinking this time might be different for her is turning out to be anything but. Last minute and at least she manages to establish a bit more distance, keeping at least five feet away from Gaga and making the pop goddess laugh out loud at Avril’s apparent fear of getting into the fight properly. “You gonna stop running away wimp?” the Lady seals with a taunt. Gaga’s round for sure as she shows everyone that she’s still got *it* both inside and outside the ring. 

‘F*ck this,’ Avril seems to declare, before reverting to her baser instincts and flying at her foe. Gaga welcoming the singer with open arms, or should we say with a flurry of jabs at the oncoming starlet, but finding a different beast in Lavigne, who blocks almost all her punches with her raised guard, at the same time sends a big right hand straight into Gaga’s nostrils! OUCH. Lady Gaga eating her own laughter as she backs away to make room to steady herself, before flinging herself back at Avril hoping to stop the sudden tide. Both ladies let fly punches at the head, then bang gloves off the body, both taking turns driving each other backwards a couple of steps before they charge right into the fray once more. Avril scoring late in the third minute with some stinging hooks to the side of face, which land stiffly, stunning Gaga to the left, then right, as she goes stumbling off with a HOUUFF. Last splattering of punches to the head leave her crashing into the ropes, panting hard, wondering how things have turned around so fast for her. Avril on the other hand pumped up, eager for more and shouting excitedly to her own corner, “f*ck YEA! THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE!” Certainly indeed - familiar fighting Avril retakes the second round, leaving the rest of this fight anyone’s game. 

Gaga’s turn to play defensive, hanging back in her corner early with her guard fully up. Bad decision for her as Avril decides to stick with her mad girl strategy and RUSH her anyways. Gaga holds her own salt for while, keeping herself small and bent over to take the punishment, hoping to weather, but her guard quickly starting to break down in the second minute when Avril’s attacks just don’t seem to subside… fists just continuing to shoot in and out, in and out of Gaga’s body. Gaga’s strength and resolve quickly leaving her when her guard then starts falling apart bit by bit. She’s left open-mouthed and having little where else to go on the ropes, when a right hook comes CRASHING into her cheek from the side... and DOWN SHE GOES, that right hand sending her flying off her feet and crashing down to the side!! Shock knockdown early in this fight for Ms Lavigne, in the second minute of the third round!!

To Avril it’s only confirmation about her earlier words - she’s now bellowing to the crowd as though they were wrong to doubt her all this time, whilst Lady Gaga is the one looking shocked to the core. She’s writhing on the ground, eyes desperately searching for any saving grace. Referee is already counting her out steadily however, and the ropes look a few feet too far for her this time to recover - she barely makes it off her knees when the count hits TEN! She’s OUT!! 

What the f*ck - could Avril truly be the next big thing in this Flyweight division?? How many fights has this girl won since she joined her new stable’s proving grounds??  

"Payback's a b*tch, b*tch!" Avril laughing hysterically as she screams from across the ring at Gaga, whose chest is rising and falling steadily, eyes squeezed shut with her back slumped against the ropes, wondering how things ended up so differently this time and realizing too late she clearly underestimated the Canadian. 

Avril NOT done, however, quickly removing her gloves, then demanding from her corner a bottle of champagne, specially brought to the ring to celebrate this event, it seems. She uncorks it, takes a large swig from the bottle, then sprays a large amount into the rafters to share her victory with her fans. Looks like she’s really been preparing for this celebratory payback for a while now, because the drink’s not just for drinking, of course - Avril quickly stalking over to Gaga’s prone form, proceeds to pour the rest of the bottle’s content all over Gaga's shocked head, laughing all the while and continuing to taunt her. 

Gaga drenched to the bone, of course, including her outfit and the cold liquid seems to invigorate her resistance again, if not for a split second. She tries to surge upwards again, intending to tackle her enemy back down to the canvas for round four, but Avril quick to extend a kick straight back into her midsection, sending her groaning back down, cradling her body. Lavigne just skips back to her corner laughing, where her stable mates and staff await her to continue the celebrations deep into the night! And yes, seems like everyone is still invited to Avril's after-party as promised!

Avril’s time in the spotlight continues, and hopefully her bubble doesn’t get burst any time soon. Judging from another spectacular performance here tonight, it doesn’t seem likely that that’ll happen any time soon!