Avril Lavigne vs Hayley Orrantia

(Words: O & E / Results: Lookout!)

Before:

“I guess Camila didn’t make things clear. She’s fine for Asylums and Doll Balls, with the wannabes and no-hopers. But for the big shows, where the best go to beat the best? She never had that, and she never will!” Hayley emphatic. “My only regret is this will probably cost Camila her Beatdown of the Year award!”

Avril up out of her seat, has to be bundled back to the mic. "I've never heard of Hayley Orra...Orrantilla?...Orrantia...What-everrr. I've never heard of her until like a month ago. She's pretty much a nobody. I'm only fighting her because she's somehow ranked higher than me and because she's friends with that stupid b*tch Mendes...Its my first time fighting on the beach, it's gonna be AWESOME. I'm gonna make her eat SO much sand! Haha!" Hayley’s heard enough, tackling Avril stage right, decides to continue this discussion on the floor!

Ringposts in sand setup. Bandeau bikinis for both beauties, Hayley in her regular purple, Avril in bronze. Hayley in white gloves, hair loose and wild. Avril with black gloves, hair wetted and flopped over one shoulder. Both fighters barefoot on the loose sand.

R1:

Brisk! Girls punching their way into each other midring, crisscross lefts and rights jutting out from the shoulder, buffeting and pasting pretty faces. Even through two, Avril finally gets the better of Hayley in the final minute of this bumpercar boxing, starting to outland the Texan, swatting her head to the right and backing her up. Orrantia hits the ropes, covers up panicked: Lavigne shifts from straight crisscross to wide underslung lefts and rights, batting furiously at her foe’s sturdy chassis, Hayley gasping, clinches, Avril working hard to wrench her arms clear—ref issues break, pushes her back. Sullen look from Orrantia, Lavigne hops away all ponytails and grins at the bell.

R2:

Same again—not a lot of artistry here: both girls committed to rapid fire leather, punching palm-down from the shoulder in abrupt crisscross sequences. This time it’s Hayley emerging beating Avril to punches, both girls hustling leather, but the Texan’s doing the bulk of the scoring. Lavigne ping-ponged to ropes, Orrantia works her over with stubby shove-n’-slug, bumping and jostling as much as slugging, Crowd-pleasing stuff—Hayley all hot and bothered, teeth bared, rugged brunette belting away from a wide stance. Avril covered up for the most part, weathering the storm—she can’t get off, but she’s blocking most everything ticketed for her skull—only Hayley’s body work’s scoring flush. Bell: Orrantia banking up insurance, ref ha to pull her away by her elbow and wag a finger in her face: “Break when I say break”

R3:

Change of pace, Avril spritizing jabs, a brace of ‘em spanking against Haley’s face, startling her. Tidy right cross, hook onna chops rapidly doubled to Orrantia’s body, taking her behind the elbow; pumping series of shoulder-shrugging lefts and rights amidships, brunette perplexed, staggering backwards under volley fire. Lavigne hopping with, pounding away pesky—spraying lefts and rights drive Haley to her own corner. Orrantia showing peekaboo, dukes at her temples, keeping her elbows in tight to ribs. Lavigne snarling, working hard: she can’t throw as hefty as Haley was, but she’s busier—constantly at and on her curvy for. Avril bracing Orrantia with the left hand on right shoulder to hold her steady, then erupting a wicked right uppercut out of her crouch. Down the stretch, Lavigne dips her shoulders and chugs away hard to lungs. Hayley blurting out in pain and outrage—pushing Avril away at the bell: Canuckian’s eyes bright, expression challenging as Orrantia eats a shutout.

R4:

HAMMER AND TONGS! Haley enraged, but maintaining her form—she’s closing with Avril first, getting set up mouth on shoulder, THEN ripping away short-n’-succulent. Lavigne not shying away—she’s in there mouth-on-shoulder, bumping and jostling, trading hooks to trembling paunches, swatting away to jawlines and temples in close. Bruising, tasty fare—girls rotating gently counterclockwise with the action of the mauling punches—occasional bursts of batting 3s and 4s from either woman punctuating the methodical bump, swat, clout routine. Avril showing some wiliness here: stepping on Hayley’s foot, tying up the Texan’s arms underneath as the girls struggle to be stronger. Orrantia working hard, probably doesn’t even realize she’s lost the round as Lavigne gets it done old-school. Hayley back to her corner with a noticeable mouse bulging under left eye—courtesy Avril’s forehead.

R5:

Avril all in. Spicy midring trade sees Hayley miss, Lavigne connect on brisk, skidding lefts and rights. Orrantia steadily worked to the ropes: Avril celebrating with a thick, withering hook amidships, yanking a shout of pain from Hayley. Orrantia showing crossed-arm, bending forward, rotating her torso: Lavigne using her jab to help track this motion, then land well aimed stubby rights. Not good for Hayley - she's looking shabby - slow torso-roll not good enough: Avril's finding the mark with rights to chin, lefts to midsection, Texan desperately lunges into a clinch. Ref shoves them apart, Lavigne bellowing in exultation: "YOUR BODY'S QUITTING!” Avril wading into what's left of Haley - SHE EATS A SHORT RIGHT HAND! Lavigne put wobbly butt, suddenly stepping in fence post holes. Orrantia hooks Avril's sternum - hops right - hooks her mouth, flinging her mouthpiece into the sand. RIGHT HAND HAYLEY! Leaning into it, catching a groggy Lavigne over a low left hand – head tossed hard to starboard. RIGHT UPPERCUT HAYLEY! Quick, jolting rip: getting her shoulders and hips snug in behind the shot, then capping it with another stubby overhand right to cheek and DOWN SHE GOES! Avril creaking backwards like a felled tree - crashing loud to her back, arms stretched out wide across the sand. Lavigne starfished, lips murmuring - closed eyelashes humming like bee's wings and it's OVER! KO5 in heartpounding fashion – Hayley Orrantia!

After:

Hayley jubilant in the neutral corner, bellowing her triumph to the skies. Avril trying to make a quiet exit ducking under the cables, BUT ORRANTIA’S NOT DONE! Waiting for the moment when Lavigne’s tied up in the strands, then the brawny brunette bum-rushes her to the sand. Avril rolls to her backside, spits sand out of her mouth. Hayley towers over her conquest, marking off the ring as her territory shrieking down “You don’t belong in here! You never did!”