Miriam Leone (#61) vs. Charlize Theron (#31) (result: Lookout/words: simgrrl)
(Numbers from Boxing World's December 2017 Welterweight ranking)
TALE OF THE TAPE
Miriam: (32yo, 5'9”, 130#) vs Charlize: (42yo, 5'9.5”, 122#)
The Latin Union brought Miriam Leone - a news presenter (Rai Uno) and film actress - from Italy in July to expose her to some FCBA action hoping to improve her technique. In the BBU, Leone's record was a disappointing, 5-11, with ONE of her 16 fights going a full ten rounds. The only “positive” on her resume is, of her 5 wins, 4 were knockouts. In July, she lost her FCBA debut to model Gigi Hadid but tonight, she's stepping up in class against the Greatest Of All Time, Charlize Theron!
A former model and beauty contestant (Miss Italia, 2008), Leone has green eyes and gorgeous, long red hair to go with her beautiful face - you'd expect nothing less of a woman chosen the best of Italy, a country renown for its gorgeous women! Two interesting facts about Leone: first, her name appears between Janet Leigh and Tea Leoni on the FCBA wiki page; and second, that page shows her as the Italian Welterweight champion (from 2012; a long reign indeed!)
Charlize admitted, “I know nothing at all about her. I got a phone call in the middle of the night a few weeks ago. It was Ginny. She told me, 'You're signed to fight Leone.' I asked, 'Who, Sunny Leone, the porn star?' Ginny said, 'I don't think so? We think this's a different one'. Well, here I am.”
Leone wearing a white bikini with red trim; red gloves, her long red hair in loose waves. Theron in her customary green bikini, white gloves, bare feet as she prefers for 'better footing' she says.
New Academy Head Trainer Jeri Ryan and Theron's Trainer, Angelina Jolie, in her corner with Elizabeth Berkley on sponges and Endswell. All three of these women are intimately familiar with every inch of Theron's anatomy as well as her physiology and psychology! There's no better team in the FCBA for wringing every last ounce of fight from her.
Leone's support by Latin Union's crack training team of Ariane Brodier and Asia Argento; two women who know as much about getting what they want out of a woman as you could ask for...and many have done so, according to rumors.
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During R1: First round a 'feeling out' process for both; they're being cautious as neither knows much about the other. Theron working out of a stand-up stance, back straight, left hand at half-cock, snapping it out crisply, keeping it in Miriam's face as much as possible; her right back by her right ear, able to block or sock with equal quickness as the situation dictates. Leone crouching, more a European look to her, working to Charlize's aging body...doubtlessly on advice from over a hundred women; all of whom think they know everything there is to know about beating the Golden Goddess - they bought Jewel Kilcher's book on the subject. (copies available on the Amazon remainder table!)
Later. Theron starting to push the pace, making Leone fight backing up - obviously not her preferred direction since she looks comfortable fighting in reverse. But Miriam CAN hit a little, and does, at least enough to keep Theron uncomfortable too...funny how someone hitting you can sometimes do that! Charlize answers Leone's body shots by head-hunting, a common household remedy (my house!)
Fans not getting a lot of action for their money, but there's a Lifetime movie of the week streaming on their cellphones, so not much booing. Final minute both women pick up the pace and several FCBA members ringside pause their feed to check out Leone - knowing more than they want about Theron! But it's Charlize who gets the better of these late exchanges and ekes out a close 10-9 round.
R2: Leone realizing she's got to get busy if she wants to have a chance in this fight, comes out throwing leather with both hands! Charlize hoping to coast thru the round, gets a rude shock when she discovers she's going to have to fight rather than put her feet up and check out the Lifetime movie herself. One thing about veteran fighters, they know how to adjust and both of these women have been around the block a time or two; three in Theron's case! Charlize conserving energy, throwing a couple of two-three punch combinations then resting and saving herself. Miriam reading her early, decides to hunker down and after she's weathered Charlize's 3-4 punches, goes over on offense and blisters Theron with seven or eight of her own. On balance, while Charlize's punches may be a bit harder, or landed with more style and panache, Leone's hurt more and land more often, giving her the edge.
As in the first round, both women save the best for last and the final 30-45 seconds they stand toe-to-toe and bash each other about the head or midsection; each trying to put enough miles on the other to ease the job of putting her down in the late rounds. But as earlier, it's still Leone getting home with more and better to win a second close round which evens their scores at one apiece!
R3: Jolie yapping at Theron between rounds, but soto voce, so even those sitting nearby can only hear a few random words. Words like "chain", "leash", and "riding crop" are what they said they heard, but even those who claimed to hear "some words" couldn't agree on which, so maybe they overheard audio from the Lifetime movie - which seemed to be attracting more and more viewers!
Theron getting rocked by Miriam's right hand early, but despite Miriam hitting - and hurting - her, the proud blonde refuses to give Leone the satisfaction of going down, although a couple of times she looked ready!
Charlize battered badly in the opening minute, digging herself a hole she spent the rest of the round trying, unsuccessfully, to dig herself out of. It all started with an innocent looking left hook under Theron's right elbow. It buckled her right knee just a second, but it seemed to encourage Miriam who went back to it time and again. As the pain in her right side began to bother her, Theron's arm dropped a bit to protect it, that's when Leone brought the left over the top, smashing Charlize in the right cheek and sending her reeling back onto the ropes. Leone, who's shown some power in her BBU fights, took it to Theron with a good minute of body bashing. When Miriam was finished, Charlize was hanging on and looked about 'finished' herself.
But the G.O.A.T. hung gamely on and slowly began to fight her way back into it. Charlize unpacked her left jab, which she may have forgotten in her corner after its appearance in the first, but now she had it back better than ever. Behind a stiff left jab, Theron managed to create a path to open canvas, where her nimble feet and leggy style proved difficult for the Italian to match. (Apparently being quick on your feet isn't as much a requirement for Italian news readers as it is for their politicians!)
Theron just getting comfortable again, when Leone drops the left on her again and the wheels come off. Narrowly avoiding going in the ditch, Charlize battles with her back in a corner, unable to escape either right or left; nothing to do but try to weather the storm while punching back with short, sharp, counters inside as Leone winds up to throw Sicilian Thunderbolts from outside where she has plenty of room to wind up and launch! Not surprisingly, Miriam wins round three on points (wide)
R4: Jolie far more demonstrative between rounds this time, no need for spectators to lean in, hands cupped to ears, straining to eavesdrop; it's all top of her lungs, full on 10 volume, screaming. Fans sit easily back in their seats, eyes on their cellphone Lifetime movie - with sound muted to not miss a single blue word from Angelina's mouth. She's always known how to talk to Charlize and this is no different. If anyone doubts Jolie can get to - or get thru to - Theron, they need only rewind, hear her tirade, then watch the video of what resulted!
Theron's face still flushed as she stands for the bell, hands shaking with anger, fists clenched, slamming her gloves together - doubtless imaging Jolie's head between them! But once she has Leone in her sights, she's totally focused on her. Sneaky lead right hand wallops the Italian brunette, sending her hippity-hopping down the bunny trail to her right, badly unbalanced. Charlize stepping with, slams a left hook to the Italian's "cestino del pane" that doubles Miriam over. Theron, hands on Leone's shoulders, stacks her on the ropes and tees off to the body. Miriam's classic Italian "seni" not ignored as Charlize gives them a couple of whitewashes just to remind Miriam she knows where to find them if she's of a mind to! Giving her one more thing to think about.
Referee finally decides to break up Theron's party, separating them and giving Miriam a path to wide open spaces where she hot-foots it looking for breathing room. Charlize, a little more nimble, cuts off her retreat and as Charlize winds up her bolo right hand, Theron instead left hooks Miriam who's so fixated on the right she never sees the left coming! Knee buckling hook almost puts the brunette on her "culo" but she's tougher then that and comes back to force a clinch!
Charlize patiently working her left inside, hooking the ribs, spearing up under the overhang of her Sicilian front shelf, putting a grimace on Miriam's sweet face. Backing off, Charlize pik-pek-paks Leone's face with her left, brings the right sweeping around to batter her belly, then it's back to the piston-pumping left again. Miriam having no antidote as Doctor Theron is carving her up like a surgeon at this point. Final seconds Charlize unloads every item in her grocery cart, trying to put and end to this once and for all. Just when it looks like she's found the key, the timekeeper slams the door in her face as the bell rings, saving Leone from certain defeat!
This round it was Leone who was being rolled, just like it was Theron last. After three rounds of jabs, setting up her right, Theron crossed Miriam up, feinting the right to establish her lethal left; pounding the Italian beauty with straight lefts, left hooks and the occasional left uppercut as Theron wins round four on points (wide)
R5: Flip the script! This break it's an irate Asia Argento tearing Miriam Leone a new one as she gives Miriam the Italian version of what Jolie told Charlize a round ago. Amazing when you consider - that boxing (as an organized sport) began with the Olympic Games of 688 BC. In over 2,700 years,, no trainer has yet come up with anything better than, "Yur blowin' it kid!" But, in a concise nutshell, that was the extent of Argento's talk to Leone!
Sometimes tried and true home remedies really work best. Leone, who looked dead at the end of the last round, came out and fought like a new woman when the bell rang for the fifth! It didn't hurt her that Charlize, by comparison, looked like someone who'd punched herself out trying for the KO late in the fourth round. Her arms looked tired, her legs looked tired, even her eyelids were drooping. When Theron pawed at Miriam with her left in the opening minute, Leone dropped a big right handed BOMBA that exploded on Charlize's jaw and sat her down at center ring!
Charlize blinking in disbelief as she's sitting looking up at Miriam and beside her the referee...both of them wearing expressions every bit as startled as Charlize's. After shooing Miriam away, the referee starts to count, but only gets to FOUR before Charlize is up on her feet, looking sheepish as the ref wipes off her gloves and asks her if she knows what time it is. When she responds, "Time to get off my ass and back to work," he deems her mentally capable of defending herself.
Charlize was "off her ass" but she very definitely was not "back to work" if anything, it was Leone who got back to work, beating and battering Charlize's body as she pounded her, step-by-step back across the ring to jack the blonde up in her own corner. Angelina Jolie and Jeri Ryan, even Elizabeth Berkley all looked up at the sight of her bouncing butt as Miriam drove one punch after another into her body and yelled at her to FIGHT BACK! But she couldn't. Charlize just hung onto Miriam Leone for the last minute, silently counting her blessings...One, Two, Miriam was pounding her belly, not her breasts!
Charlize caught and hurt early! Miriam piling on. From the first minute to the end of the round, the tall redhead dominated the older blonde. At the bell, Miriam grabbed Charlize's left arm, spun her around and gave her a SPANK on the ass. Theron looked shell-shocked. She hadn't been on the receiving end of an overt display of redhead on blond dominance from another woman since the night a few months before at the roadhouse - where she faced another Italian, Amanda Righetti! Miriam wins this round on points (wide)
R6: Payback may not be Hell, but it CAN be satisfying! After smoldering in her corner the entire break, Theron bolts from her stool and attacks Leone in her corner. Miriam barely gets off her stool before Charlize swarms all over her; Leone clinching and holding on as Charlize hammers away. battering her along the ropes with both hands. Unlike when she had her on the run before and let her off the hook, this time Charlize keeps her foot on the gas! She punches Miriam around and around the ring until the referee was dizzy, but the stubborn redhead stayed on her feet and even, at times, still fought back.
Midway, Charlize landed a hard right that clearly hurt Leone, who clinched. Theron hooked her to the body several times, and finally a second right hand put Miriam down. With a sigh of relief, Charlize briefly raised her hands before heading to a neutral corner. But almost before she could lean back on the turnbuckle and catch her breath, Leone was back on her feet again.
Charlize pressed Miriam again and again, but couldn't quite find her 'off' switch - but not for lack of trying. She did practically everything she could to find it short of running Leone through a TSA full body scanner! Once more in the closing seconds, Charlize mounted a furious assault on the redhead, but even with her Sicilian ass stuffed between the turnbuckles in the Latin Union corner, Miriam kept her gloves tightly earmuffing her head, and Charlize just couldn't pry her open in time to turn her off.
Still, the knockdown gives Theron another round (wide) - and hope for better going forward.
R7: Jolie sucking on a throat lozenge between rounds while Elizabeth Berkley applies some Endswell to Charlize's left eye where Leone, apparently, did some damage last round - appearances to the contrary - leaving it to Jeri Ryan to do the "berate and harass" act this time. Jeri's heart doesn't seem to be in it, but she still goes through the motion, concluding with a rousing, "So, where do you want to go for our postfight victory cocktails?"
Thankfully, after several tough rounds in a row, Miriam Leone is almost as ready to go out for drinks as Ryan and Theron. Miriam comes out risking everything with an all-out, balls-to-the-wall, blitz attack that keeps Charlize ducking and grunting in pain for the first forty seconds of the round as fans are finally starting to get what they came for - Charlize Theron "the woman they love to hate" getting smacked around by a pretty redhead...or brunette... or even another blond. Fans may be fickle, but they're not picky!
BOOM! Just like that it was all over. Miriam turned into a right hook and Charlize beat her to the punch with a right hand of her own. Miriam's fist sailed high, Charlize's drilled Leone flush on the chin. Say good-night Gracie! That's all she wrote. Charlize, with a first minute KO, walks away a KO7 winner!
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After: Theron hugs Miriam and wishes her luck in the FCBA, then they leave the ring together for the media center where Theron praises Miriam's “class, grace, and punching power.” Miriam, looking a bit stunned by all the attention she's getting by losing to a woman ten years older, struggles to find the words to say how grateful for this chance she is, thought it's clear to all she is.
Each woman takes the opportunity to praise the other; both having been on the canvas and risen to take the fight to her opponent, has engendered a mutual respect, if not admiration. When Miriam makes an offhand remark about at "rematch" Charlize pretends to recoil in fear, quickly replying, "No, she's way to tough for me... at my age." Both laugh at the obvious joke, Miriam because she's felt Theron's power and respects it, and Charlize because she is coming to terms with the reality that she can't keep doing this kind of fight ten or twelve times a year any longer.
Things were going swimmingly, with lighthearted bantering between the two and enough softball questions to keep Theron from erupting. But then, someone asked Charlize a question that nobody could make out in the crowd. However, it made Leone, - and everyone else in the room instantly perk up, suddenly looking interested for the first time.
Theron, however, grimaced as if in pain, then after taking time to consider how to respond to what she clearly considered an impertinent question, replied testily, “...But why not ask Strahovski, she's never at a loss for words about... anything!”[/i]
With that parting shot, a red-faced Charlize Theron stormed angrily off the stage, leaving Miriam Leone standing alone, looking confused and she wasn't alone - nobody seemed to have an answer for her.
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