Kate Upton vs Tahnee Atkinson (Series tied 1-1, Body Paint Booties of Mass Destruction on the Beach)


Before: Everything comes down to these ten rounds!  “After she beating me in front of my hometown last month, this is simply a matter of tit for tat,” Kate says. “And nobody does better than me at the ‘tit’ part!” She gives her shoulders a shimmy, letting her assets make their own argument.


Tahnee up out of her chair, “Is that so? Well, as you Yanks say, ‘my jugs stopped your jugs’ We saw whose are better already, didn’t we?” Atkinson leaning over the table, all up in Upton’s face, her trainer covered bum reminding us all that this is a BMD bout. AND KATE GRABS THE HAIR! Both fighters yanking hair with their left hands, reaching down each other’s backs to try and give each other the hockey jersey treatment before security can separate them for the umpteenth time!


Ringposts set directly into the sand.  In addition to the body paint, both fighters have agreed that this fight is taking place under Australian Beach Rules. Fighters hands are wrapped but NOT taped, then slipped inside neoprene scuba gloves, leaving the fingers & thumbs free to grab and grapple. Kate’s warpaint is a black and white horizontal-striped bandeau bikini with gold fringes, hair loose and straight. Tahnee has chosen a leopard-spotted demicup, hair loose and windblown wild. Both fighters barefoot on the sand. Like in their three previous fights, they go forehead-to-forehead and breast-to-breast, but THIS time, there’s nothing separating them. They can feel each other’s heartbeats through the skin-to-skin contact and when the ref instructs them to touch gloves, their hands SLAM down on painted buttocks, twist & scrape, already trying to penetrate each other’s illusion of modesty.



R1: Kate circling cautiously right, right fist clenched at her mouth, left hand open, pawing at Tahnee, measuring her and finally dropping a sumptuous right hand clean across the Aussie's lips. Atkinson's head snaps hard to starboard, comes back a little groggy, Upton likes what she sees. Kate systematic - stepping right, driving home right hands over Tahnee's left - by the midway point, brunette's legs are quivering, knees buckling and Upton moves in close. Kate palming Tahnee's biceps, getting those arms out of the way, then wading in, lefts and rights pumping to ribs and rack, backing shell-shocked Aussie to the ropes. Final minute a beat down, Atkinson numb against the ropes, bent forward, trying to cover up - Upton staying on her, lavishing both flanks with strong, strapping blows, digging up underneath and going jug with a short, clouting right hand over and over again. Tahnee dumbfounded as her puppies are smeared - Kate bracing against her foe with a secure grip on brunette's right bicep, the better to plow home short rights.





R2: Kate loosens up, unpacks a long, strong jab, cracking back Tahnee’s face with small-glove sting. Each fighter keeping her hands open until punching, batting away and grabbing at each other’s punches. Upton picking Atkinson's defense apart from outside - slicing the jab between the breasts, to the mouth, between the eyes. Tahnee turning, staring - hands are up & moving, but she's just going through the motions, Kate’s getting the best of it. Final minute, Atkinson with a looping, lunging wide left has Upton leaning back off balance, Bossy Aussie stomping forward with brawling rights and swinging lefts, chases Kate ropeside, then piling into her rough, stacking her up, and going to town. Tahnee working out of the wrap - left arm under Upton’s right, slumping American’s torso forward, pumping up into her with brawny rights, then shifting position to wrap right, slug left. Kate beaten into a slack-jawed swoon - crumpled forward in Tahnee's grasp, unable to stop big ham-handed punches from plundering rosy ribs and pain-wracked belly. Atkinson helping herself after the bell - ref tugs and wrenches at her to pull her off, brunette wiping a bloody lower lip with her forearm, raising her mitts as she swaggers back to her corner, acknowledging the roars of the hometown crowd.





R3: Fight quickly drifting away from the early stepping, stalking boxing look - girls are circling slowly, but looking to lean in, grabbing at each other, then slugging. Kate gets Tahnee’s' head tucked under her left arm, bending her forward and savaging her with right hands clubbing against her back or digging up underneath until the break. Atkinson dipping side to side getting her hips and shoulders in behind short, murderous body shots at the waistline - really digging 'em in like she means it. Both girls pull back, start to throw long right crosses, they SLAM away toe to toe. Awkward rights pitched against lefts, lefts against rights - girls swishing, falling into each other, gasping and whining as robust blows skid home at random. Kate beaten in stages to the ropes, starts tightening up her strokes and catching Tahnee with tidy left and right uppercuts on the chin. Now it's Atkinson giving ground, breathing hard - she steps back, sets - both women step into shivering right hands flush on offending gut - both rattled, momentarily stunned by impact. Girls load up, trade right hands again to bellies, reload, cram right hands to jug, reload, jam away righty to jug - snarling, bare-toothed aggression as girls set curvy frames to lug right hands up and in. Tahnee's driven back - disbelief on her face as Kate gets the better of it, the all-American girl dominant at the bell.




R4: Girls plodding through sand, punishment adding up in curvy torsos and legs covered up to the knees from their kickups. Brutal tit for tat - girls setting and getting off with thick leverage on single shots. Kate dips her shoulder, pumps a left hook off Tahnee's abs. Atkinson leans in on her front foot, crashes a hook off Upton's teeth - does it again. Girls fall into sweaty clinches, smearing white, black and buff paint over each other, both using heel/palm strikes to soften up the other for body work. Atkinson at one point drives Upton ropeside with blunt right hands on the chin, then uses her left to roll the blonde chest-first against the ropes. Tahnee’s left hand holding Kate down at the shoulder, right hand tucking in short and thumping to that lower back, bruising up kidney with repeated, heartless digs. Upton groggy, unable to get turned around - she soaks up punch after punch, grabbing the top rope to prevent herself from going down on nerveless legs. Startled ref reads Atkinson the riot act – both fighters utterly heedless, thinking only of destroying the other.




R5: Kate at her hard-hearted best. She's the boss, walks Tahnee down bodying her to the ropes, goes to work on her with agonizing, patient holding and hitting, body, tits and chin. Atkinson helpless, swooning, Upton exhausted, but relentless, blonde stays on brunette as fight slides greasily along the ropes. Kate fitting in sick right hands: hard amidships; blunt to ribs beneath the breast line; cruel to the thigh and inner thigh, and drifting, searing rights across the mouth, draping Tahnee defenseless on the ropes. Upton taking her time to sort Atkinson out with the left hand, propping her up, then plowing home righty, carrying into the Aussie with her body, making her feel the weight before setting up again. Kate tries her hardest, pounding Tahnee unrecognizable in a shutout 5th, but she can't get her to quit on her home soil.





R6: Tahnee tries a pushy sort of a jab, not really snapping it out there, bumps Kate in the chest a few times before blonde hauls back and slams a tidy right/left crisp to chin. Atkinson stutter stepping a quarter-turn, all shook up - Upton tackles her hard from the side, packs her to ropes and hands out a slobberknocking, heartfelt beatdown - lusty wide lefts and rights, chin up, chest out as she pulls in the wallop. Tahnee hands at her face, pushing not punching, simply drubbed to her knees - then given an extra right hand in the ear to put her on her left hip. KATE DROPS TO HER KNEES AND LANDS CHEAP! Rising, girlish right hand on the chin - poor Tahnee just sitting there stunned, getting her face spanked back - ref has to wrap up and drag spitting, snarling American off, heels digging furrows in the sand. Atkinson takes a woozy 8, then sets up at the ropes as Upton comes swinging in again! Girls stepping into each other, bringing in short rights or lefts and Kate gets hurt by a chopping right to the ear! Tahnee still weak-kneed, wraps her left arm around blonde’s neck & shoulders trying to cuddle up with Upton to smother out the round. Kate swinging those hips into Tahnee’s pelvis, gets separation to work underneath with rampaging lefts and rights. Atkinson sucking it up, digging in, drops the left but still mouth-on-shoulder, SHE starts punching with, countering off the back foot as she absorbs Upton’s body shots in a crouch, tries to tee off on the chin in between. Raucous back and forth and KATE GETS DROPPED! Slamming right hand tight off the counter, beats Upton to the right cross and blonde staggers to her hips and rolls onto her back. 



Tahnee bent over with hands on knees in the corner, giving the crowd a look at her BMD, but when Kate starts to push herself up as the ref hits five, she lunges out, bodysplashes onto the American. Fighters wrap each other up, grapevining their legs, hands slapping and gripping AND ROLL UNDER THE ROPES AND OUT OF THE RING! Stunned officials running over to follow the action as girls roll apart and stagger semi-upright. Slobber-knocking action - girls brawling dumbly on their knees even as they try to stand. Kate extending her left, fingertips against Tahnee’s chest, then leaning in a plowing right cross - cracking back that beautiful face and dropping the Aussie to her butt. Moments later, favor reversed as Upton splashes down on her back from a crashing right. Girls take turns tackling each other about slick waists, driving one another to the sand, mindless back and forth has judges open mouthed, wondering how they should score it. At the bell, ref has to wade in and somehow bring ramshackle beauties to heel - girls led back to the ring and scolded - neither listening, chests heaving, eyes glaring during the lecture. Sand is doing more to cover them than the paint at this point.





R7: All semblance of boxing is gone - girls are stupid with pain & heat exhaustion, legs dead in the sand, hair sweat-soaked & stringy - they stagger towards each other and tee off on heart alone. Woozy, groaning clinches - girls trying to wrap up under each other's arms, press the opponent into the ropes. Quickly, Tahnee imposes her will, wrestling down Kate's attempt at a guard, wrapping her up, holding her for thick, digging blows with the free mitt. Late the round: Atkinson gets Upton bundled forward in a blatantly illegal front choke, head snug under brunette's left arm - right hands taking whatever they want. Kate shuddering, clasps her hands together, drives desperately up between Tahnee's legs - both girls drop in agony to their knees. Bell sounds - ref impotent as he tries to intervene - groggy Atkinson uses her left hand to take a fistful of Upton’s hair - American swaying butt-on-ankles, blinking - Tahnee able to tug and punch, scoring blunt little rights that have Kate in stupor before the ref gets his hands dirty to break this thing up.





R8: Tahnee stumbles into Kate, clinching her under the arms - ref trying to tug left shoulder back for a break, Bossy Aussie goes to work with her right thigh, short, squishy thrust up between the legs, as Upton goes stiff with agony. Kate a stumbling wreck, but SHE battles back, blocking a series of tired right hands from Tahnee, laying home thick rights of her own across the chin and driving brunette into the far ropes. Just as Upton looks to be piling on - Atkinson bails herself out with a chugging assault to the tits, pounding away crisscross to pancake those puppies, leaving the American staring, back on her heels. Boozy extended sequences of tired grappling, girls tumbling slowly along the ropes, trying to sort each other out for desperate punishment, hands pushing & gripping at shoulders, backs, buttocks, breasts, chins, hair, anything at all. Tahnee finally gets the upper hand. Atkinson using her left, palming Upton's shoulders back, blonde limp, helpless; facing into the blows as Tahnee props, sets and SLUGS! Thick right hand, thick left hand - Kate getting walloped, head lolling, somehow standing upright. Atkinson's just tucking that fist in, carrying through with her body, then resetting. Upton helpless, eyes overflowing with tears as her legs go numb. Tahnee robotic, now moving her stabilizing left to ropes, pulling back and driving in rights with all her weight. KATE GOES DOWN! Upton sinking to her right knee under the heinous barrage, Tahnee bursting into exhausted tears at the sight, staggering away - ref issuing the count. Kate scrabbling in the sand, looking for purchase for hands or knees, willing herself upright, but sprawling once, twice AND IT’S OVER! Tahnee Atkinson takes 2 out of 3 to win this series of grudge matches and bring Kate Upton crashing down to earth!


After: Tahnee grabbing an arm, flipping a protesting blonde to her back. She straddles Kate, lowering her rump onto her rival’s face. “Quit whinging, I’ll make it quick.” And she shows just how she plans to do that as her gloved hands begin to knead and slap at Upton’s unprotected breasts, feeling the gasps and cries against her skin as they speed the air from her victim's lungs.


As Kate’s face disappears under Tahnee’s derriere; and the paint, sweat, and sand it has accumulated, she’s incurred more than just humiliation. This is the sign that the crowd has caught up with her. Upton is no longer the standard for this new crop of young, tough welters. Kate’s going to have to EARN her title fights going forward, not sit and back wait for them to come to her. Going forward, these welters can fight Upton because they WANT to, not because they HAVE to. As Atkinson shifts herself around, getting comfortable on Kate’s face, she’s done more than win a two-out-of-three. She’s made Upton one of the girls.