The Man In The Hat sits, as usual, at the center of the dais. To his left are Ariel Winter, Jane Levy, Britney Spears, Serinda Swan, Neve Campbell, Pink, Grace Park, and Alison Brie. To his right sit , Gemma Arterton, Katy Perry, Charlotte McKinney, Jewel, Mariska Hargitay, Leelee Sobieski, Kesha, and Kat Graham.

Man In The Hat: "OK. As usual, before we get to questions, there are some people I want to thank. Let's start with Bazz, our regular guests here at Asylum and Philly's other home team. As always, the indies are the backbone of Asylum and we always enjoy giving talented girls without management a chance to get into the spotlight. And, last but certainly not least, the FCBA Commission for sanctioning these fights and making Asylum possible. Now. Questions. Cable Boy. Go!"

HBO Reporter: "Let's talk about your flyweights. Jane and Ariel are two girls who've had a lot of success for you, but, arguably, they'd be number three and four in your pecking order..."

Man In The Hat (shaking his head): "Oh, I don't know about all that, but I do know THIS, those two ladies are tough, talented fighters. They've got a load of tools, and they're getting better every time out. And, they're two examples of just how deep our flyweight division IS these days. Cable Boy II! Let's hear it...

Showtime Reporter: "Your lightweight division, obviously, is deep, too, and Gemma and Serinda made that pretty clear tonight..."

Man In The Hat: "Gems is a champion. She's simply one of the best lightweights in the world, and, she proved that by beating a very, very dangerous opponent tonight. Swanny's got physicals to match any light in the world. She's also elite in the division, as she's proven time and again. I say over and over again that a year at Front Street is not a success unless the stable wins a title. Those two ladies could well make 2018 a success. Tess, dear. Go ahead..."

Tess: "Katy Perry is also in your lightweight division...and your welterweight division, too. She's won a title for you in the past..."

Man In The Hat: "And, she's ALSO capable of being a girl who could make 2018 a success for us. In either division. Katy's as good as it gets in the FCBA, period. Not a lot of girls have wins over BOTH Strahovski and Upton. Katy does. That's how good Ms. Perry is. Smackeroo. Dinner time. Take us there!"

Reporter: "We didn't get to see much of Charlotte McKinney tonight, but, we've seen enough to know that she's capable of beating top fighters..."

Man In The Hat: "There's not a single fighter in the FCBA that Charlotte McKinney can't beat. Not a single one. Feel free to quote me on that, and, if you didn't hear me, ask the question again and I'll answer it the same way. Not. A. Single. Fighter. In. The. F.C.B.A. Now, dinner time. Tess! Smackey! Limo!"