2. Anne de Paula versus Haley Kalil 

Anne:
(23, 5’9, FCBA Debut, Free Agent)

Haley:
(5’8, FCBA Debut, Free Agent)


BEFORE:
Anne de Paula is a provocative, busty Brazilian who recently broke onto the scene with a her own bikini spread in the SI pages, making plenty a young man wonder collectively ‘Where the f*ck have you been my entire life?’ Red bikini barely covering her assets, hanging onto her voluptuous body as she makes her way down the ramp waving to her fans in the audience. The winner of the 2017 SI Model Search, she automatically scored a photo spread in the 2018 SI Swimsuit edition and that has made the world a better place, as far as we’re concerned. 

Her opponent tonight is none other than Haley Kalil, smoldering partner of Carolina Panthers offensive lineman Matt Kalil. A former Miss Minnesota contestant and another SI Rookie to reach the finals, she went up against voting in the final round but unfortunately did not make it past contestants like Alexis Ren and Anne. Tonight, a bit of jealousy in her tone of voice as she makes her feelings clearly known:

“That was a travesty of a vote. Just because some skank girl got more followers than me doesn’t mean she’s better in any way. I mean - take a look at f*cking THIS,” she gestures to her toned body wrapped in a light blue bikini, no doubt the result of many hours training in the gym with her husband. “And let’s not forget you, dear Anne,” she turns towards the Brazilian at the other end of the table. “You’ll be drooling at my feet and begging for mercy once I’m through with you.”

Despite the harsh words, they don’t seem to faze Anne, who flashes a grin back and gestures with a finger. “Bring it on, b*tch,” and the two have to be held back by officials to prevent an altercation before the boxing match itself.

Girls led to the ring by separate routes, and the crowds’ chanting grows louder and louder: ‘Let them fight. LET THEM FIGHT’ giving pressure to the referee in the middle extolling the virtues of a clean fight but expecting the exact opposite. With a wave of his hand, there goes the bell. So here we go!

ROUND 1:
Girls follow the crowd’s direction - here they come straight for one another! THUDDING blows to the body as they overestimate distance, get in TOO close to one another. Arms flail wildly at the head and chin, then travel south and BANG off the body! Lean bodies gushing as they take turns strapping leather into toned tummies, but of course Haley coming out with the advantage here with her bigger frame, slowly walking the smaller brunette girl back with mutual grunting of both sides. Bell rings and tanned tummies are pulsing in and out, both girls catching their breath, but a wide smile on Haley’s face tells everyone that she’s the one in control.

ROUND 2:
Anne trying a different tact now, switching targets to the head instead and hitting the mouth and nostrils with some precise early jabs. Of course all that changes when Haley scores the first hook to her face, almost knocking her down right there and then, if not for her quick re-balance on her feet. Crowd loving the non-stop action thus far, with neither girl seemingly interested in putting up any sort of defense and focusing purely on doing damage. After that opening first seconds it’s all downhill for the Brazilian, who’s forced to defend her head from the juggernaut that is Haley Kalil stomping forward with gloves landing on the tummy, beating her back one punch to sternum at a time. Anne eats more belly blows FUMP, folded in half and looking to clinch up to stop the abuse. Haley however grinning, in her element, though having the Brazilians arms tight around her waistline, is able to push her back into the ropes easily due to her bigger size, where she goes to work with more torture: strained grunts from Anne’s lips as Haley swipes hard at her body. Hard, bruising work for the redhead as she shows what she’s capable of if she manages to get in close. Anne panting hard on shoulder when the bell finally rings, with Haley shoving her off with a smirk and the evidence clear as day that she belongs in the ring.

ROUND 3:
Haley ready to roar back into the thick of the action, gleefully eyeing the red marks on Anne’s body that she herself inflicted in the previous round. Here she comes and there Anne goes, jumping to one side with those long legs of hers, avoiding the charging bull. Haley attacking first with jabs to the guard but follow-up hook misses by a nose. Anne’s body battered last round but her legs still working fine, and she avoids contact this round but still has the sense to snap jabs into the cheek from afar, even shooting a one-two into Haley’s body. Brazilian still in this race after all, circling the bigger woman and whittling at her flanks and chest bit by bit, all the while avoiding Haley’s comeback swings with a little luck and a whole lot of skill. Haley cursing at her opponent when the bell finally rings, demanding that she stands and bangs, but of course Anne’s not stupid enough to go toe-to-toe with her after prior experience. Instead, she just grins and blows a smooch at Haley’s direction. Comeback round for de Paula as she survives another round.

ROUND 4:
First minute of the fourth is a semi-repeat of previous round, with Anne dancing and Haley trying to find a partner, and neither girl really scoring with anything big. That is until the second minute, where Anne gets scraped by a passing hook to the head. It’s not enough to floor her, but it does enough to stun her on the spot, groaning. Haley sees it as opportunity enough, again barrels right into the Brazilian, their two bodies crashing together with a wet SLAP. Flail of arms and legs tangling up as the two gorgeous beauties jockey for position. Haley again going after the tummy, burying her glove in and out, in and out, whereas Anne not idle either, snapping the head up, and back, with shocking uppercuts that land clean on the chin. In the midst of this, the crowds going wild, cheering on this all-out brawl and voicing their displeasure when the referee intervenes to separate them. “LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!!” is the chant renewed, but ref has to do his job and send them to opposite corners, before resuming the round with a wave of his hand. What exactly did that accomplish, ref?? Haley charging RIGHT back in for more punishment, but gets STOPPED in her tracks when Anne aims a clean right hand straight down middle of her guard, snags the chin and disorienting her. Brazilian queen going on the offensive now, firing punches into the big girl’s toned tummy - her turn to force the retreat as Haley’s grunts grow louder and louder. Bell rings and it’s a close round for Anne but we still think she got lucky with that last punch. We hope she can only keep up the pressure on Haley.

ROUND 5:
Of course, we’re wrong - Haley still has some gas left in the tank, and she proceeds to steamroll her way through another round of back-and-forth. Anne trying her best to avoid her but this time she’s moving slower, allowing Kalil to get too close. Kalil is on her with double-hooks banging off the side of her head, knocking her senseless. Crowd roars as they sense the end: Anne swaying as she attempts to defend herself, ready to get floored by another stray hook to the face at any moment. But Haley apparently has other plans, once again goes after the Brazilian’s toned tummy, stepping in close and then chopping her fists into the stomach, folding her over repeatedly as leather impacts skin. Anne still in serious danger, obviously, but she manages to wrap Haley’s arms up in another clinch, getting in close and huffing hot air in each other’s faces. Haley of course cursing under her breath, trying to bully this cockroach who refuses to die back to the ropes, where she can inflict maximum damage. But hang on - Anne playing along for the first few steps, but then suddenly SPRINGS into action, shoving the redhead’s shoulders back abruptly, creating just enough space to STUN her shocked face with an uppercut WHAM right into the chin! Haley dazzled to say the least, now the one in danger of getting knocked down as she’s rocked to the core. Anne pushing herself forward: fires a left-right quick combo to the chest, just because she can, then beats on Haley’s body each step of the way from whence she came, the bell saving both women from going down this time. We reach the half-way mark of the match and this outcome is still dead even!

ROUND 6:
That uppercut seems to have done some damage: Haley still swaying uncertainly on her feet as she comes out of corner. No more charging forward for the big girl as she’s focused on getting her wits back first instead. Anne capitalises, filling the void with a quick advance, peppering the guard with jab after jab then again testing the waters with shooting hands into the redhead’s curvaceous body. Each punch landing on the midsection draws a deep grunt from Kalil - she knows she’s losing the round but seems more bothered about protecting her head than body, allowing Anne to bully her about the ring with her belly growing redder and redder by the minute. Anne wondering to herself as well how long more - how many punches can this American girl take before she goes down?? She lunges in with a final superman punch, which crashes into the guard down the middle, at least succeeding in pushing Haley back into the ropes from the force. STILL it doesn’t floor her, but Haley caught off balance, holding onto the top rope with two hands for support. Anne throws caution to the wind, comes in hot and swinging, bullying the big girl on the ropes with snap-hooks to either side of the head, battering the forearms before digging into the tanned midsection, each punch landing hard on the belly and then smacking Haley’s breasts. AND STILL she refuses to go down! Exhausted, both girls swaying on shaky feet when the bell rings. Anne filled with frustration, shoves a glove up into Haley’s chin, part warning, part frustration at the punishment she’s managed to absorb so far. Kalil groaning but too spent to even respond, before her opponent turns and heads back to corner to prepare for the next round. Looks like this fight is going the distance folks!

ROUND 7:
Sluggish is the name to describe both ladies - it’s their first fights in their careers and I think neither of them expected it to last so long. Grudging respect as they eye each other from opposite ends, then stride forward again to brawl, the loud cheers of the crowd giving them due motivation. Haley trying to surprise with a sudden hook up high, intending to stun Anne to the face and end this dance once and for all. Anne however just a bit too keen and aware, ducks under at last possible moment, then brings her right hand up, opportune target right in front of her too juicy to ignore: SNAPS the head back HARD as Haley JUST CRUMPLES, LADIES AND GENTS!! The big girl’s down on her back, flailing and floored, that swing of a right hand coming out of nowhere and knocking her lights out! Referee performs his duty but it’s futile counting - Haley’s not moving save for her rising and falling chest. It’s over!

Official Decision: Anne de Paula defeats Haley Kalil via KO7!

AFTER:
Good lord - what a brawl, with both girls giving it their all and now one girl standing, the other flat on her back. It’s a shocker of a result, no doubt, with plenty of pundits expecting the opposite outcome, but plenty more giving credit where credit is due: celebrating Anne de Paula for a hard-fought victory today. 

The ravishing brunette brandishing that pearly-white grin as she realises what she’s just done: gone from underdog to hot prospect. Let’s hope that this is only the beginning of her career both in the Sports Illustrated world AND in the boxing ring. The Brazilian chooses to stand astride Haley’s prone form, posing with both hands on her hips at the front of her head, conqueror making a dominant statement by standing over the conquered. 

Next, we head over into the last round of the afternoon. The sun’s already setting and blanketing the beach crowds in a nice orange glow. Let’s see how this evening ends, shall we?