Emma Roberts
(27, 5’2, 98 lbs, 11:5 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
Vs.
Ashley Tisdale
(33, 5’3, 109 lbs, 19:23 FCBA, Free Agent)

Results: Lookout!; Story: Caspian & The Dollhouse

Hey there, Doll fans! And welcome to another Doll Ball PPV. We start off this exciting evening with an explosive pairing between hated rivals, with Vanessa Hudgens’ BFF, Ashley Tisdale, squaring off against resident Ice Princess and self-proclaimed top Dollhouse fly – the stunning Emma Roberts. 

The girls are kept apart for this opening segment pre-fight - no point trying to shove them into the same space and hope that either one plays nice, especially when we’ve seen evidence to the contrary. Emma getting interviewed backstage first, and when asked by reporters how this match came about in the first place, Roberts is all but content to twist the limelight in order for it to shine clearly on herself alone:

“As you all know, we’re all here tonight for one reason and one reason only: celebrating my 10th consecutive win!” Emma begins, completely ignoring the original question with a knowing grin on her face. “It’s something Av stupidly boasted about before, and was so sure only SHE could achieve. Well, guess the f*ck what? Now that I’ve clearly won that little race to the top, making me the *undisputed* Flyweight queen of the Dollhouse (and some would say the one and only ‘Ice Queen’), I’m not only going to simply equal Avril - no, that would be way too easy - I’m going to completely shatter her record! And as for this fake-nosed, f*gly bimbo I’m facing tonight, there’s not much to say really... She’s only here so I can get that win and go celebrate. Well, actually, that’s not entirely true.” Emma smiles. “She’s also here because she’s Nessie’s best friend, and she needs to be destroyed. I mean, Tisdale hasn’t won a fight in decades. So, honestly, I’m not expecting much and neither should any of you. I’ve beaten Hudgens’ fatty sister and now I’m going to f*ck up her bimbo BFF. I truly hope Nessie gave you some tips, Ash. Not that it’s going to help you - I’m not planning on being merciful tonight. Oh, and everyone is invited to celebrate my achievement tonight at my amazing after-party! Except for you, Nessie. You can go f*ck yourself. Or better yet… be a good BFF and accompany Ashley to where she’s going after our fight – the f*cking hospital.”

Strong words from Roberts, who’s clearly picking a fight with anyone and everyone that crosses her path. But her record alone speaks for itself, and the Doll is right about one thing: this match will certainly mark her tenth consecutive win on her run towards breaking the FCBA all-time record, currently held by the VIXENs’ Megan Fox, of course. Not sure what Emma’s endgame is here as she runs the gauntlet unchallenged, but it sure seems likely to cut a path of destruction through Ashley Tisdale. 

For all her faults, the former Disney starlet is laughing, however, as she watches Roberts exuding confidence on the television backstage. She’s seen and heard it all done before, especially a plethora of overconfident girls, right before their own falls from almighty grace. Ashley smirking instead when asked by reporters what she made of Emma’s pre-fight taunting:

“Roberts is overcompensating for something, that’s for sure. Just look at the amount of verbal diarrhea coming outta her mouth, and look at the number of punches she actually throws in a fight. Hate to break it to ya, but Emma here is the definition of all bark and no bite. There’s a reason why she keeps on challenging anyone AND everyone under the sun BUT Vanessa freakin’ Hudgens... It’s because she knows full well that Nessa’s gonna simply ANNIHILATE her if and when she ever steps into a ring with her. So tonight, I’m here on behalf of Nessa. And I’m here to kick Robert’s flat ass. And trust me, Nessa gave me *plenty* of advice on how to do exactly that. Emma’s gonna learn first-hand what the definition of ‘eating humble-pie’ is after I’m through with her tonight.”

Some irony there in the blonde’s words, and hopefully both women get a chance to put their fists where their mouths were just a couple moments ago. Cos’ here they come, entering the arena to plenty of pizzazz and even more hype: Emma strutting in first, those exaggerated paparazzi-like sunglasses shielding the camera flashes that go off all at once around her. Clad in her usual pink and white sports bra and tight white yoga pants and matching gloves, her hair tied in a sleek high ponytail, she seems to be enjoying the attention very much. The Dollhouse’s star player has been on a meteoric rise ever since joining the stable a year ago. If she can put the gatekeeper that is Ashley Tisdale away tonight and achieve her 10th win in a row, it may just finally convince the naysayers that she deserves her top ten ranking spot, and perhaps eventually a chance at the gold itself?

Tisdale entering the arena next, shoulders covered and draped with a pure-white fur coat, channeling equal amounts of diva-ness and confidence in every step. Underneath, Ashley is clad in a sexy black bikini and matching black gloves. It’s true that the fit blonde has fallen into a funk in recent years, with her losing management and losing even more fights, etc. But tonight, she has a chance to prove that being in great shape AND being best friends with Vanessa Hudgens *has* to mean something. What that something is, of course, we still don’t really know, but can’t wait to find out! 

What we do know is these two girls are ready to get things started in the ring. They’re continuing the verbal taunting from across the corners directed at each other, and the referee wisely skips most of the preamble, goes straight for calling for the bell to begin. HERE we go with ten rounds of what promises to be an intense, all out Flyweight brawl!

ROUND 1:
Emma doing her best to hide her contempt for her opponent when the bell rings when these two girls stride forward at the same time. Actually, scratch that; reverse it: Roberts’ face twisted into an unsettling grin as she begins the exchange with a rocking one-two jab sent into the other girl’s guard, showing who’s who who’s the real boss here tonight. Ashley on the other hand with a face full of malice - not as confident about winning this just yet, but intensity etched onto her face for payback in order to prove a point. The girls circling each other at medium-range for this first round, taking turns slapping leather into the face from a distance. Emma so certain and sure of her own superiority that she can noticeably picks up the pace of her attacks in the final minute, knocking Ashley’s head back multiple times with some deft straights to the chin, which only serve to further reinforce her negative stereotype that Tisdale’s a horrendous boxer, plain and simple. Perhaps those feelings should be taken as gospel truth because when the bell rings, Ashley truly looks like a babe caught in the dark woods, a look of pained shock on her face as she rubs her chin back to corner.

ROUND 2:
While Roberts really bided her time in the previous round, leave it up to Tisdale to spoil her party in the second. Emma too cocky and confident for her own good - she could have capitalised on Ashley’s shock from those early punches landing unabated, and perhaps even gone all in to put her away early, but Emma continues to circle and jab at her face from afar in the first minute here. And who really can blame her? Some of those long hands really going in and landing unanswered, with Tisdale either too slow or too blur to catch Roberts’ jabs hitting her face repeatedly. But it’s all part of the plan: Ashley slowly managing to circle herself inwards, yes, taking some hits to the face and body, but it’s all collateral damage in her mind, compared to the haymaker that she powers into Emma’s guard when she’s good and ready! Roberts grunting when the swing lands right into the middle of her forearms - not much harm done in the grand scheme of things, except of course for the psychological shock and dissonance of finding her opponent actually punching back at her! Roberts using her footwork to suddenly try and create some distance, but this only emboldens Tisdale to strike forward and brawl, repeatedly scoring a couple more on Emma’s body before the bell rings to end her party as well for now.

ROUND 3:
Emma perhaps kicking herself for getting played right back in kind. She knows she took too long to finish her off back there, and we only pray that it doesn’t come back to bite her later on. Well, she ain’t making the same mistake twice as we open the third: Roberts comes flying out of her corner, perhaps at the behest of her own trainers, once more using shock and awe to overwhelm Tisdale. Only this time, Ashley’s more than prepared for her wild tirade. She takes the majority of punches right on her guard, barely moving back a couple of steps to steady herself, before a hook STUNS Roberts right in the face when she wasn’t looking! UGHH! Emma with those deer-like eyes all of a sudden, chaotic thoughts going through her mind that this wasn’t supposed to be the plan... at all! Suddenly, her face is getting swiped to the side repeatedly, powerful hooks thrown in from Tisdale, who stays in her face and wipes those leather gloves clean over and over her cheek! THIRD such hook lands stiffly and DOWN ROBERTS GOES!! OH MY F*CK - THAT WAS CERTAINLY NOT EXPECTED!! Roberts getting overpowered by that last exchange, her body twisting inwards on itself as the hook torques her torso around her feet! She lands on her side in one HELL of a KNOCKDOWN for Ashley Tisdale!

“I F*CKING TOLD YA SO,” Tisdale roaring at the audience, most likely seeking validation from her BFF, who’s rumoured to be someone hidden in the audience tonight smiling a knowing grin in her direction. 

Referee hiding his own surprise as she begins the count, and thankfully for the Dollhouse corner banging on the apron, their girl’s still semi-alive, spitting out tiny globs of red but already managing to recover to her knees by the count of six, before getting all the way back up before the red counts to 8. Roberts is asked if she’s willing to continue by default and protocol, and she sets the referee with a look that screams murder. We’re surprised the ref didn’t drop dead there and then!

There’s a minute left on the clock and Roberts already set for payback. The bell rings to resume this wild brawl and Ashley happily taking the chance to repeat history tonight. But can she do it?? What she doesn’t expect is Roberts flying forward into her face as well, arms already pulled back to BANG back with force! Girls CLASH in the middle of the ring with a thunderous roar, now firmly in each other’s faces, only giving them higher accuracy in terms of a target to punch. They trade blows for a good thirty seconds here, neither of them willing to yield any ground! At the end of three minutes, the ref has to intervene, forcing the break, but both girls still swinging and taunting at each other, as though they could go another three minutes, no problem. Regardless of the eventual outcome of this fight, some would say that this round might be Ashley’s defining moment in her career, knocking down a would-be challenger to Avril’s crown in the third round of this fight. 

ROUND 4:
If so, someone kindly explain to us why it looks like Ashley came out of that last round looking worse for wear? It’s true - Tisdale the one heaving heavy breaths as she rises from her stool. By contrast, Emma shrugging off that temporary setback and then proceeds to FLY at her adversary! If that past round denied her a comeback knockdown of her own, then round 4 looks to redeem those lost expectations. She BLOWS Ashley backwards into her corner with an early Superwoman punch that landed on her cranium, drawing a loud gasp of shock from Tisdale. The guard further rattled as Emma rushes in to finish this hit-job: left-right-left-right smacking into the belly, before CHOPPING at the guard from underneath with clean uppercuts, Emma utilising her practised swings to power more pain through, and FINALLY smacking into the chin from below, rendering the poor blonde lifeless as she, too, CRUMPLES to the earth! OUCH - that’s gonna be a hard pill to swallow for Ashley Tisdale! Noone’s doubting Roberts’ impressive record thus far, and this comeback knockdown in the second minute simply proves to everyone that THIS. GIRL. CAN. FREAKIN’. BOX! 

Ashley a lot more slower than her counterpart to begin stirring from the ground this time. Emma already making her way to neutral corner, but not taking her eyes off Tisdale’s fallen form for one second. In many ways, Tisdale already managing to defy the odds stacked against her by staying alive and conscious especially after that brutal combination to her defences and chin. But STILL alive and kicking she is, folks, taking her time to secure her footing, before forcing her body all the way back up in time for tea. Clear disappointment on Roberts’ face, who was hoping to put her away by this time and place. Sadly, she doesn’t get the opportunity for the remainder of this round - it’s the end of three minutes and Ashley is saved by the bell by the thinnest of margins, although she can’t even seem to get back to her corner without some help from the referee. 

ROUND 5:
Emma trying to play to her strengths wisely as we hit the middlemark of this fight: she knows that she has ample amounts of energy and stamina left in the tank, proving she is just as fit as her opponent here tonight. Roberts striding forward once the bell rings to begin hounding Ashley with more punches that are gradually increasing in power and damage. Ashley blindly taking those first few jabs on her face, then her body, before the hooks start swishing inwards at her head, which sorta manages to wake the Disney princess up when a right hand sails across her nose just an inch from disaster. Tisdale suddenly jumping backwards with renewed energy, managing to keep her distance and effectively nullifying Emma’s punches for the remainder of the round. Instead, we’re equally surprised when Ashley fights back past the second minute, launching bombs from afar that snatch Emma across the face more than once. The girls reach an uneasy stalemate towards the end of the third minute, each trying to predict what the other’s going to do next, but largely failing. Predictions are finicky things, and even in the final few seconds, both women continue exchanging painful shots to the lips and nose at the same time! If we’re keeping score, this round would be a draw plain and simple, ladies and gentlemen. Could it be a turning point for Ashley as we head into unknown waters?

ROUND 6:
Emma not waiting to find out an answer to that question, of course. She KNOWS that she’s in the lead here and plans to keep it that way. Ashley finding it difficult to replicate her success in the previous round, suddenly finding herself hammered and wailed on from multiple directions. But from the spectator’s viewpoint, it’s simply Emma Roberts circling her prey like a pro in there, using every opportunity to stick leather into her foe’s frame. Ashley grunting as another one-two combo pierces into her belly, driving her further backwards into the ropes with a moan and bend over. Emma still biding her time, all ready to out-fox her by continuing to land punches from afar. She smells a trap here and wisely decides to keep up her own distance and momentum intact. All Ashley can do is cover up and weather the continued onslaught - she tries surging forward more than once in the final seconds, hoping to at least control Roberts in a clinch so that she can enact some revenge from a vantage position, but Roberts saw the attempt coming multiple times - she took a step back, then forced a straight hand into Ashley’s chest, shoving back into the ropes over and over. No doubt in anyone’s mind that this round belonged solely to the Doll, with Ashley’s hopes for revenge fading by the second!

ROUND 7:
This unfortunately has happened to the poor girl on more than one occasion: Ashley starts off the match looking somewhat strong and promising, only to run on empty by the third or fourth quarter. Her toned body getting sapped of energy minute by minute by Emma’s invasive surgery: shooting hands repeatedly into her abs, then her chest receiving a pounding further. Ashley barely even covering up her body by the end of the first minute now, one hand holding her sore belly, the other trying desperately to resemble a guard over her face, her mouth opened in shock and exhaustion. Emma cleans up the mess with a step-in hook to the cheek, effectively repaying the blonde with the same kindness: Ashley goes sailing off her feet to one side, before landing on the hard ground with a loud THUD. KNOCKDOWN for Roberts, and this time, the decision’s held firm! Ashley not moving on the canvas, her eyes fluttering wildly and body shivering from the sustained abuse. IT’S OVER!!

Official Decision: Emma Roberts defeats Ashley Tisdale via KO7!

AFTER:
Emma not wasting any time - once that bell rings, immediately sheds her gloves, unraveling the strings with the aid of gnarled teeth, before flinging them away and POUNCING on the poor girl trapped beneath her. Grabbing two fistfuls of Ashley’s dishevelled hair in her fingernails, she tugs her upwards to her knees with an audible groan.

Still wordless, Emma examining her handiwork with a smirk, before slapping the blonde stiffly across her face, then violently forcing her upwards one more step back to her shaky feet. Roberts still pulling and tugging at the hair mercilessly, one arm cupped around the blonde’s waistline as she seals her dominance off with a Walk of Shame about four corners of the ring, taking her time to shove Ashley’s shell shocked face into each and every camera in existence. Still holding her captive by the hair, Emma taunts into one of the live broadcasts, her voice dripping with malice: 

“Hey, Nessie, guess what, you horrendous-looking monster? I just wrecked your bestie! So…that’s now both your pathetic sister and your fluke bestie... anyone else I should be taking care of who still wants to be associated with you? I’m pretty sure Avril wanted some. Anyway…. This poor worthless b*tch here WISHES you were here to help her! Toodles!”

Emma lets out a satisfied laugh as she thrusts one of her knees straight upwards into Ashley’s stomach, the beaten blonde collapsing her to her knees with a loud OUUMMPH and a groan. Celebrating their star’s 10th consecutive win, the Dollhouse corner is already busy popping open a bottle of champagne, hand gesturing Emma over to come and celebrate. 

The victorious blonde seems to be considering her options, finally leaving her defeated opponent to her misery, strutting over towards her corner and snatching the Champagne bottle right out of Carmen Electra’s hand. 

Emma takes a sip, stops for a moment – shooting Carmen a knowing nod as she begins walking back to the downed Tisdale still writhing on all fours, a sly smile on her lips. The Ice Queen stands towering over Tisdale, completing the show by shoving the hapless girl further downwards onto her belly with her foot, stamping down hard into the small of her back and then SPILLING the entire content of the bottle on the poor shrieking blonde’s head, all the while posing with her foot over her conquered mount as she laughs cruely for a few long moments - long enough for the entire world (and Vanessa Hudgens) to get the message loud and clear.