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31 October 2018 Jennette McCurdy vs Anna Paquin

Page history last edited by caspian2 4 years, 1 month ago

Posted by Wiz on Dec 1, 2019 at 10:46am

BEFORE:

"Well," says Anna with a smile, "You can't do a horror theme without ME, I guess. Thing is, I'm not coming here to make an appearance. I'm coming here to WIN."

"Lots of competition around here," says Jennette with a hard-eyed look. "And, that means you've got to take care of business. And, that's JUST what I plan to do."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and that's 'Bad Things' by Jace Everett, and that can only mean that the star of 'True Blood' and, for tonight's theme, also the star of 'Trick 'r Treat', Anna Paquin, is on her way to the ring..."

McCarthy: "And, when it comes to Typical Dancing Hooker Opponents, she's the Typical Dancing Hooker Opponentest!"

Tess: "Was that ENGLISH, BFF?"

Cassie: "Not sure, Tess. Not sure."

McCarthy: "Shut up, BOTH of you!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, as Anna climbs into the ring to be helped off with the robe. She's wearing that blue and white checked number we've seen before. And, that's 'Lust For Life' by Iggy Pop pounding through the arena, and here comes 'The Answer', Jennette McCurdy!"

McCarthy: "And, again, the only answer SHE provides is 'who is the next disappointing Front Street flyweight'!"

O'Dell: "Jennette into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that black and white striped bikini we've seen before, and the ladies are about ready. Time for some picks. Tess likes Jennette. Mac?"

McCarthy: "McCurdy is an overrated Dancing Hooker. But. Even SHE can beat THIS tomato can. McCurdy."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "Unanimous. Let's see if the panel is right. Paquin right to work early. She's got some reach and she's using it, getting her left hand on, keeping McCurdy on the outside, dropping in rights. Anna's always shown plenty of boxing talent, Mac, and she's won a lot of rounds on these terms..."

McCarthy: "Oh, she's a TOMATO CAN and you KNOW it!"

O'Dell: "Jennette not doing a lot at the moment, not able to get inside, and short on most everything she's throwing from the outside. Paquin has the geometry she wants and she's using it to great effect at the moment. McCurdy, meanwhile, looking to find some cracks in the defenses..."

Cassie: "And, not finding any at the moment."

O'Dell: "She most certainly is not. Into the final thirty seconds of a quickly paced first round. Anna's had things her way from the beginning and she's continuing to do so as we near the bell. McCurdy still working the feet, still trying to get something going, but won't do it in the first. There's the bell. Paquin, wide."

Tess: "And, Anna up with the 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins with McCurdy angling now, keeping the guard high, getting the head tucked. She wants to close and bang, no surprise, as Jennette's a very physical flyweight. Paquin still working to hold the younger woman at range, getting that jab on and able to follow with right hands."

Tess: "McCurdy getting past now, though, and, when she does, she's got the advantage."

O'Dell: "No doubt about that. Younger blonde works body inside, then goes upstairs, before going back down. Anna tying up, forcing breaks, getting the distance she wants, and, when she does, she gets back to work boxing her rival. And, after a wide first, we're settling into a back-and-forth second..."

McCarthy: "Which proves again that McCurdy's a typical overrated Dancing Hooker."

O'Dell: "Not a lot in it as we roll down the stretch. Jennette again inside to work body. Paquin ties up around the head, forces the referee to come in and break. Ten seconds to go. SHARP exchange there, best of the fight so far. Nobody got an advantage, but both girls got the other's attention and there's the bell. Close. Paquin."

Cassie: "And, Anna's up 20-18."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third underway on the same terms we saw in the second. Paquin working at range with that left jab, McCurdy stepping forward, slipping past, working body. Anna tying up. Jennette shoving off and LATHERING the body with some THUMPING hooks before Paquin ties up to force a break."

Cassie: "Anna does NOT want to be in there with Jennette."

O'Dell: "And, she's having plenty of success when she's NOT in there. So, that's the fight plan. But, right now, McCurdy finding ways to penetrate and wasting no time piling up points when she does so. She's working a TON of body this round, doing just enough upstairs to keep the Canadian beauty honest."

Tess: "That's Neve Campbell stuff in there. Effective, heavy body work that adds up over time."

O'Dell: "Twenty seconds to go in the third. It's been almost all McCurdy this stanza, and the younger fighter is sticking with what works, banging leather into the Canadian's body, shoving her off when she tries to tie up. Five seconds left. Fighters clinch and there's the bell. McCurdy this time. And wide."

McCarthy: "But, the Tomato Can still leads the Dancing Hooker 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Back to work in the fourth. Again, McCurdy working forward. Paquin tying up around the head, forcing the referee to step in and break them. Ref does it. Paquin circles back and away, using the jab to enforce distance. McCurdy again works past, but is quickly tied up by Anna."

Tess: "Paquin finding some success with those ties now. If she can keep this up, make Jennette keep having to penetrate over and over again..."

O'Dell: "And, that's clearly the plan now. McCurdy's found ways forward, but Paquin limiting the damage when she gets there, and offsetting that with points scored at range. Result is, we've got another tight round like we saw in the second. And, if you'll recall, Anna got the points in that one..."

McCarthy: "She's still a Tomato Can!"

O'Dell: "Down the stretch in a competitive fourth. McCurdy inside, digging body. Anna tying up around the head, traps Jennette and forces the referee in to break the fighters apart. Anna turning, jabbing, getting the geometry she wants and there's the bell. It stayed close the whole way, but it's Paquin's round."

Cassie: "And, Anna's back up two, 39-37."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Pattern set as we approach the half way point. Anna using every trick in the book to maintain space, while Jennette works forward, keeping the head tucked and the gloves high, working body when she gets inside. Paquin keeping those exchanges short with effective ties."

McCarthy: "Tomato Can's ought to try mixed martial arts if she wants to wrestle."

Cassie: "I heard YOU tried that...and it didn't GO well..."

McCarthy: "I NEVER...it DIDN'T HAPPEN AND THERE'S NO VIDEO!"

Cassie: "We'll just SEE about that."

O'Dell: "Let's concentrate on the ring, where McCurdy slips inside and works some tummy. Anna tying up around the head again. Jennette shoves off, lands a good left hook to the head before the Canadian ties up again and forces a break. This is another close one, ladies, with both fighters able to get some of what they want."

Tess: "But nobody able to get control."

O'Dell: "We're heading into the final thirty seconds, and there's not a lot in it. McCurdy again slips in close and works some body and PUTS TOGETHER A NICE FLURRY that backs up Paquin and forces her to cover up. Jennette stepping to, back to the body, then back upstairs, working effectively to the bell. Late rally takes the points for Jennette."

McCarthy: "But, the Tomato Can still leads 48-47."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "More aggression from McCurdy early. Front Streeter stepping to Anna, working body, shoving off attempts to tie up, extending the exchanges. Paquin continues wrestling around in there until she gets her break. Then, the Canadian back to work at range, using that jab effectively."

Cassie: "Nothing wrong with what Anna's done tonight. And, again, it's nothing we haven't seen before."

O'Dell: "Jennette inside again, digging at the body. Paquin tying up. McCurdy shoves off and LANDS A LEFT HOOK and Paquin is HURT! Anna's legs wobbled by that left and now Jennette going to TOWN! Front Streeter throwing everything but the kitchen sink at Paquin and DOWN GOES ANNA!"

McCarthy: "Tomato. Can."

O'Dell: "Canadian dropped to her back by the accumulated punishment. Jennette wasting no time getting to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Anna rolling to her belly. Pushing up to hands and knees at eight. Nine. TEN! Paquin gets to all fours but no further and it's OVER! And your winner by KO6 is 'The Answer', Jennette McCurdy!"

Tess: "No surprise. No surprise at all."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Jennette McCurdy, and, Jennette, it's clear your fight plan was to get physical..."

Jennette (nodding): "Absolutely. That's the way I like to fight. I can hit with anybody in this division. If I get inside and get to you, well. Sooner or later."

Tess: "Important win for you, considering there's been a lof talk about Ariel Winter lately..."

Jennette: "Yeah, and she deserves all that talk. She earned it. But, there's only one girl in our flyweight division who's ever won a title, and you're talking to her. So. People might want to keep that in mind before they write me off as second string, know what I mean?"