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31 October 2018 Katharine McPhee vs Katy Perry

Page history last edited by caspian2 4 years, 1 month ago

Posted by Wiz at Nov 1, 2018 at 10:51am

BEFORE:

"Quite frankly," says Katharine with a shake of the head, "I'm disappointed in myself. I'm BETTER than a lot of these girls. Stronger. Quicker. More athletic. But, I haven't put it all together to get that big win yet. Well. Tonight's the night."

"Fact is," says Katy with a smile, "She IS better than a lot of girls. She's got all the physicals. There's no reason she can't win at both light and welter. There IS, however, a reason she won't win tonight. And, you're looking at her."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Touch Me', and here comes the singer of that tune and the star of 'Shark Night 3D', Katharine McPhee!"

McCarthy: "Yet another cheap jack shark movie. I mean. Have some PRIDE. Don't star in garbage like THAT."

Tess: "Three words. Santa. Baby. 2."

Cassie: "ONE word. 'Weiners'."

McCarthy: "I'll have you know the latter is a wonderful screwball comedy and the former is a CHRISTMAS CLASSIC...along with, of course, the ORIGINAL 'Santa Baby'!"

Tess: "Apparently you play pretty fast and loose with the term 'classic', Mac..."

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, as Katharine enters the ring and is helped off with the robe. She's wearing that green and white striped two-piece we've seen before and looking plenty good doing it, and that's 'California Gurls' you hear behind us, and here comes the singer of that tune, 'The Santa Barbara Slugger', Katy Perry!"

Cassie: "And, by the way, Mac. I didn't miss the little shark dig. And you WILL pay for that..."

McCarthy: "Don't you threaten me you little...AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tess: "Truck, you might want to send out a towel for Mac. Seems like some one just hit her in the face with a pudding-filled balloon..."

O'Dell (sighing): "Katy into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that red number we've seen before and..."

McCarthy: "THAT WAS SONG! I'LL SUE! I'LL SUE!"

Cassie: "Well, since whomever may or may not have thrown that pudding balloon was costumed and masked, there's no way of KNOWING who it was..."

McCarthy: "I KNOW WHO IT WAS! Just because she was dressed like Strawberry Shortcake doesn't mean I don't know who it was!"

O'Dell: "If we could concentrate on the ring..."

Tess: "Wait...Strawberry...let me taste some of that..."

McCarthy: "Don't touch that, it's EVIDENCE..."

Tess: "Nice touch. Strawberry shortcake flavored pudding..."

Cassie: "WHOEVER was behind that is nothing less than a genius..."

O'Dell: "A-HEM! The ladies are ready and Mac's towel is here. Let's get some picks so that she can clean herself UP. Tess favors Katy. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Nothing doing! I'm leaving this pudding right where it is until CSI gets here! Oh. And McPhee has one FCBA win and is a Typical Dancing Hooker Opponent. Perry!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "And, I need a new job. First underway with McPhee throwing caution to the wind and just going AFTER Katy Perry. Katharine all in early, winging away with both hands. Katy on the defensive, giving ground, keeping the hands high, clearly not expecting this kind of early aggression from the brunette..."

McCarthy: "I actually like it, though. What does McPhee have to lose? Maybe she gets lucky."

O'Dell: "Right now, it's more than luck. Katharine has Katy on the back foot. She's letting the hands go, yes, but she's not getting sloppy. She's putting punches together, committing on everything, looking to, if not take Perry out right now at least take control of this bout, and that second part, she's accomplishing."

Tess: "No question about it. Perry definitely discombobulated..."

McCarthy: "That's discomBOOBerated, Walmart. Don't you know ANYthing?"O'Dell (sighing): "Final thirty seconds of the opening round and McPhee having one of the best rounds of her career. She's got a former champion on her heels and she's looking like keeping her there for the rest of this stanza at least. Ten seconds to go. Big final flurry for McPhee and there's the bell. Shutout, Katherine."

Cassie: "And, not only is McPhee up 10-9, but that round can't be anything but a confidence builder."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Katharine right back to work to start the second and PERRY ROCKS HER! McPhee NAILED with a big right hand from Katy and Katharine's sent stumbling backward! Perry now onto the offensive in a big way, backing her rival up with flurry after flurry of hard shot to the head..."

Cassie: "Well, that's the risk of McPhee's all in strategy, especially against a power puncher like Katy..."

O'Dell: "And, she's paying the price for it as Perry backs her into the ropes and goes to work. Katy banging ribs and belly, trying to get the guard down. McPhee keeping it high, putting that body on sale. Katy upstairs, then back down, REEFING heavy leather at her rival as Katharine stays in a tight earmuff on the ropes."

McCarthy: "Kid rolling with some of these punches, blocking others. All about survival now."

O'Dell: "And, she's surviving for the moment. We're under half a minute to go in the stanza. Perry continuing to work hard, tossing heavy leather at every legal inch of McPhee's body. Katharine taking the licking and continuing ticking. Five seconds left. SHARP left hook by Perry, but there's the bell. Katharine survives, but it's Katy wide."

Tess: "And, we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third begins with Katy continuing the offensive. Katharine still looking unsteady, and the former champion looking to take advantage. She's walking down McPhee, coming forward behind that heavy left jab and then backing her rival up with hard right hands. Katharine working on a fighting retreat, but in no way able to hold canvas."

McCarthy: "Jabbing back, trying to slow Perry down. Best she can do right now."

O'Dell: "Perry working McPhee back toward the ropes. Katharine trying to stay away from them, moving laterally, looking to stay off square. Katy locating with that left and DOWN GOES MCPHEE! Katharine absolutely BLOWN to her back by a BRUTAL right hand from Katy Perry!"

Cassie: "Turn out the ligggghhhhtttsssss. The party's ohhhhhverrrrrrrr."

O'Dell: "McPhee on her back, eyes closed tightly. Perry to a neutral corner. Referee's count at three. Four. Five. My suspicion is that he can pretend we're playing hide and seek in the back yard and count to a hundred. Seven. Eight. No movement at all from Katharine. TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO3 is 'The Santa Barbara Slugger', Katy Perry!"

Tess: "After that right hand, there wasn't much doubt about it."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Katy Perry, and, Katy, it looked like she surprised you with that aggression early..."

Katy (nodding): "Well, I never expect a suicide mission, which is what coming after me like that IS. You've got to respect my power, or you'll pay for it. She didn't. And, she paid."

Tess: "You had a pretty big 2018 with a pair of title shots. You still might fight again this year, but, it's Hallowe'en, so it's not too early to talk about 2019..."

Katy(smiling): "No, it's not, and my plans for next year are to get another title shot and, this time, to get the belts. And, before you ask, don't care if it's light or welter. Either weight. I just want to wear gold again."