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22 February 2019 Avril Lavigne vs Kristen Bell

Page history last edited by caspian2 4 years, 1 month ago

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on Feb 23, 2019 at 2:25pm

Avril Lavigne
(34, 5’2, 122 lbs, 23:11 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
Vs.
Kristen Bell
(38, 5’1, 112 lbs, 39:31 FCBA, The Fighting Academy)

Results: Lookout!; Story: Caspian & The Dollhouse

BEFORE:
Avril getting visibly annoyed when the first question out of a reporter’s mouth at the pre-fight press conference is about how her most recent fights went, that saw some not-too-great results for the Canadian songstress.

"I'm celebrating the release of my new album ‘Head Above Water’ tonight. I'm NOT talking about those bitches Hayden and Jessica. You can't win ‘em all, OKAY!? They got lucky… Whatever! I'm over it!” a visibly irritated Avril slightly raising her voice, then continuing in a more calm manner. “About tonight.... Like I said, this will be my first fight since my new record, and you know what I think? If Kristen was champion five years ago, I can totally be a champion too. I'm WAY better than her! We have a similar build but she's almost 40 and I'm only 34. She's actually the oldest opponent I've faced so far, so I'm not expecting it to be that hard. Tonight will probably be a lot easier than usual for me, which is great, because you need some easier fights from time to time, you know? it should be a total cakewalk. I mean, she couldn’t even beat someone like Sammy Hanratty a year ago!” Avril pauses to give a short snort. “And Nessa kicked her ass two months ago. My plan to do the same tonight. Grandma Bell is getting her ass kicked, bitcheeeeess!" Lavigne ends off with a short laugh and some more giggling.

Bell smiling from across the table, and returning that killer look that she’s practised over the years as a veteran boxer and actress. Her turn to take the mic and she doesn’t disappoint either with the barbs:

"Well, SHE's a talker, ain’t she?” the blonde says faking a smile, drawing knowing chuckles around the room. “Guess what, Av, hon? I'm might be pushing 40 but I’m *still* in better shape than you. How about that? I thought maybe needing the referee to save you from almost getting KILLED by Panettiere and Lowndes would make you a tiny bit more humble coming into this fight, but who am I kidding? She's the “QUEEN” after all!” Kristen snickering sarcastically after using air-quotes. “I gotta tell you though, Av. If you wanted to bounce back from your recent….setbacks…you’ve made a bad choice picking me. I mean - I’ve been beating loud-mouthed, arrogant blondes like you my entire career. Ready to lose again? This former champion "GRANDMA"….” Bell once again uses air quotes. “Is about to teach you some MANNERS tonight!"

Avril turning red-faced upon hearing those striking comments, but you know what they say: don’t dish them out unless you’re able to take them yourself. She’s sputtering insults still as both of them conclude the press conference and are herded backstage. One thing we’re guaranteed to have is yet another explosive match-up later tonight.

When it’s time for the fighters to enter the arena, Avril leading the charge, her new single “Dumb Blonde” blasting from the speakers as she struts down the ramp with a huge grin on her face. The Canadian songstress has her hair in a high ponytail and is clad in her usual battle outfit of black and pink – a sports bra and short matching tights with LAVIGNE etched on the side, black and pink boxing gloves with a semi-open long black satin robe covering some of her ‘assets’ as she makes her way to the ring waving to her many fans in the arena. In the ring, she mounts the turnbuckle before revving up the crowd some more with one hand high in the air. She certainly knows how to work an audience!

Kristen’s entrance more muted in comparison (then again, almost everything is when compared to Avril) as the blondes confidently makes her way down the ramp with her hips shaking side to side, blonde hair tied back into a neat ponytail. She’s wearing a classic navy blue sports bra and black fighting tights, white gloves on either hand as she waves to her fans as well, getting a hefty volume of cheers. It’s hard to say who’s the crowd favorite here tonight as the two gorgeous blondes warm up in their respective corners, exchanging some final words with their trainers.

Girls getting into charging stance as they await the referee’s signal and bell. HERE we go with ten rounds of Flyweight action!

ROUND 1:
Aggressive start to this contest as the younger Avril almost flies forward with surprising haste compared to Kristen’s cautious advance step by step. Lavigne meets Bell two-thirds of the way out of her own corner and begins raining down hell on her guard. She certainly wants to prove a point right here and now, looking to win big tonight after those humiliating losses against two top-tier opponents. A shame for Kristen to receive the full brunt of her fury however, covering up in the first minute alone and just trying not to weather the storm. The American doing her best to plant leather back into Avril’s face for effect, but those are considered mere glancing shots when compared to Lavigne’s furious swings and stuffings of leather into the former champ’s body. Kristen appears to be weathering the assault well at first, but then suddenly eats a right hand firmly packed into her side, making her visibly wince as she eats a followup UPPERCUT, stunning her on the spot! Suddenly, Kristen in all sorts of trouble, backing away from Avril’s furious fists still continuing to land all over her frame! Hell no - Avril smashing away with lefts and rights, suddenly SCORES a right hook straight into Bell’s face, spiraling her on the spot and SENDING HER SPRAWLED DOWN TO THE GROUND!!

WHAT THE HOLY HELL - IT’S A KNOCKDOWN IN THE FIRST ROUND OF THIS CONTEST!!

The rabid crowds are already on their feet in a flash of shock and awe, and I don’t think anyone’s denying this remarkable feat at this point in time, regardless of where their loyalties lie. Avril looking equally amazed and then slightly amused, as she huffs down at the squirming blonde at her feet, with Kristen having a shell-shocked look in her eyes, pawing and pulling at the younger woman’s ankles!

Referee recovering first and quickly, shouting out those big numbers too soon and much too early. The roar of the crowd continues to rise higher and higher as he gets closer and closer to that magic number…. And poor Kristen is still barely off her stomach, still shaking her head in a daze as the referee runs past the 10-count, WAVES THIS FIGHT OVER BEFORE IT EVEN BEGAN!!

Official Decision: Avril Lavigne defeats Kristen Bell via shocking KO1!

AFTER:
Oh my good lord – is this real ?! BIG smile breaking across Avril’s face as she literally isn’t even sweating yet, still brimming with energy as she runs to her own corner and jumps up onto the second turnbuckle. “Yeahhhh bitcheeesss!!!!!!!” Avril bellowing her win to the entire arena, the adrenaline still coursing through her veins as she laughs in semi disbelief at how easy this turned out to be. DOMINANT victory here tonight for the Doll, and SURELY this win validates her in the eyes of her detractors?

We almost feel sorry for Kristen as she looks utterly gutted, having been beaten so resoundingly. All that talk in the end for naught, and this fight is reminiscent of some of Ronda Rousey’s earlier MMA opponents, who talked non-stop trash outside of the octagon, only to tap out within seconds of the fight commencing.

Avril still laughing and gloating at Kristen as she jumps off the turnbuckle, calling her "grandma" from across the ring as the beaten blonde is examined by her team. Lavigne then sending the medical team scrambling as she approaches suddenly, forcing the groaning Bell back down onto her back with a swift push of her boot onto Kristen’s shoulder. Kristen defiant is no match for the still fresh Canadian who stomps her boot on the beaten American, rendering her powerless to stop Avril from planting her foot down into the middle of her belly, before posing for the flashing cameras to seal her win tonight in the history books.

Later on, Avril addressing the reporters and saying: “Like I said earlier, this fight was a celebration of the release of my new album “Head Above Water” which just came out last week! I wanted to win big and I TOTALLY did! Hell yeah!” The excited blonde laughs. “I told you guys she’s too old, I came out swinging and b*tch couldn’t handle me. Better luck next time Bells! Woohoo!” Lavigne ends with a kiss blown right into the camera before turning back to her stable mates to celebrate one of the biggest wins of her career!