Posted by Simguy on 8/23/2002, 6:48 am.

Before: Acrimonious Bell Sports Entertainment interstable rivalry—both women tending to view the other as a way to gain momentum in a competitive division—it’s getting ugly. Jones badly beaten by Halle last time out—pressure’s on to even the score, but also to send a message. Raise the humiliation bar. Jones in red bikini, Halle on black push up, yellow bikini bottoms.

During R1: Berry charging the mound, lather Zeta J early with batting hooks, short right hands in combination. Catherine backed up by the unexpected head on assault, but cool under pressure-stays in the pocket, rides it out and gets it all back with a single clanging left hand counter off a missed Berry right. Halle staggered, on her heels—Jones surges forward with straight rights and lefts, stampeding Berry the length of the ring. Berry dug in, back to ropes—Zeta Jones letting her hands go—vicious two way trade sees Jones land 3 hard right hands on the face as she finds a slugging groove, bloodies Halle’s nose, leaves her wobbly butt at the bell.

R2: Berry looking to box a little more this round, circling left—Jones cutting off the ring, jabbing to the bell, shooting the straight hand over Berry’s left shoulder to corral her ad biting off the scoring hook on the cheek. Halle coaxed into a series of murderous trading sessions, toe to toe and Jones takes her apart. Berry quicker, flasher with her punching, but she’s batting wide, teeth bared in exertion as Jones stays low, slips, comes at the ribcage with well placed shots, counters in between Berry’s blows with that short hook on the chops. Berry jacked up, back to the ropes at the bell—takes a pounding late right hand on the face as ref bodies Jones back.

R3: Catherine continues to jab Berry to the belly, getting the range for stubby straight rights and compact hooks. Halle making adjustments, calming down. Unable to leg out of trouble, she covers up well, stepping out to pick Jones up the tight left uppercut, pressing the left forearm against Jones while pivoting to the left, staying outside that right shoulder. Catherine getting outfoxed in close—Berry working angels, putting shorter, more effective punches together as the girls start guessing with each other.

R4: Catherine’s got her fight—Berry’s not using the ring, she’s laying in, fighting shoulder to shoulder, looking to outwork and outsmart the crafty brunette. End of the first minute, Jones just twisting her torso into short, chopping blows, bangs a hard left/right off Berry’s mouth, dips low to the left and reefs a perfectly timed left to the floating rib as Berry loads up. Halle shouting in pain, turns away to sink to all fours-Jones’ chest heaving, eyeing her foe hungrily as the ref issues 8. Berry crippled, but unbowed—she braces at the ropes, waves Catherine on in. Jones trying to close the show, prying her way in with the jab, then just banging away and Berry beats her back time and again! Jones forced repeatedly to step out, regroup, then work her way in—Halle defiant, sitting in ropes like Emmanuel Burton, slipping, countering Jones in the flanks, clipping with sneaky little uppercuts—brilliant survival stuff from Berry to foil Jones after a rocky start.

R5: Berry flat footed, elbows in, gloves at her face as se crowds Jones—Catherine keeping her shoulder on Halle, digging that left mitt into belly, around the elbow, chopping right between the guard. Halle laying in, then getting off with flashy bursts, chopping Jones up around the temples and jawline—it’s brisk, brutal stuff. Berry bangs out points, Jones continues to get her body work in, wearing out Halle’s legs for the back 9.

R6,7: Methodical Catherine Zeta Jones, going to work on a stubborn, determined, but weakening Halle Berry. Halle standing right in front, covered up, still moving her hands, but getting caught hard up the middle but a short hacking right as Jones times the openings. Jones packing left hands into Berry’s right side, constantly digging the rib and waist. Berry shovng off and lashing a longer left hook up against Catherine’s ribcage. Both girls hunkering in close and picking each other up with uppercuts—all shoulders as they just jerk ‘em in. Minute after minute, round after round—Jones is breaking Hale down, beating her face raw, punishing that caramel coated body with steady, no frills contact.

R8: Berry hunkering in close, steps out, walks Jones into that abrupt right uppercut, steps to the right jams home a tight left hook inside Catherine’s right mitt—Jones not punching back, stumbles forward shook up. Halle stepping out perfectly, letting Jones fall into another Jones’ left shoulder as she groans forward. Catherine hurt, reaches a jab ad takes a vicious chopping right on the cheek and JONES GOES DOWN! Jones takes 8, Cathy covered up, ragdolled at the ropes as lashing blows tear up her defences. Crowd screaming for the fight to be stopped—Halle’s fists bouncing off skull and face, Catherine just standing in and asking the beating of a lifetime. At the bell—Jones out on her feet, busted up and reeling-Halle exhausted, mouth wide open as she gasps for breath.

R9: Aching beauties shamble off their stools, stagger into one another for mindless punching. Halle drowsy, backs Jones up with sloppy rising lefts and rights plump on jug. Jones gets it back with murderous digs on the trunk line. Halle in retreat. Berry stiffening, palming Jones’ forehead the left, then PUMP-PUMPING that double hook off brisket to double Jones up. Back and forth, crowd goes ballistic—worried BSE executives watch in horror as prime properties beat each other into groggy pulp at the bell.

R10: Halle open mouthed, reeling, reaching to tie up, Jones shoves a jab to mouth and it’s enough to rock step Berry back. Catherine putting weak leather together, but connecting flush—Halle backing straight up, can’t get out of the way, hits the ropes feeble, arms extended. Jones edges in close, catches ALL of Berry solar plexus that short gutting hook--Berry sitting in the ropes defenceless. Catherine fighting off the left shoulder, angling in hooks to the jaw, just starts clubbing Berry’s head, short. Jagged punches ad BERRY GOES OUT! Mouthpiece dribbles to canvas as Berry tilts to her right, taking bows off her sleepy face-Jones robotic as she keeps jerking it in, bodying up, propping up, pounding away until the ref pulls her off! KO10 Catherine Zeta Jones.

After: Wow—fighter reduced to Celebrity Meat! Berry all used up—Jones collapses in her corner for a moment of blissful relief—both beauties beaten unrecognizable in a corker. Catherine collecting herself, pushes her way through BSE officials to pull a devastated Hale Berry off her stool—shaky walk of shame as both girls weak kneed. Jones angry, fistful of yellow waistband in her right hand as she tugs a weaving Halle around the ring, stuffing her in the corners for emphasis, pinning her with a sweaty shoulder in the chest. Jones working the basic game plan to perfection, playing Duran to Halle’s Leonard. Talking away the legs, forcing Berry to fight at close range. Halle more than holding her own was still in the fight until the collapse. Says one anonymous BSE lackey, “I don’t know if promoting this rivalry is such a good idea. Those girls are taking each other pretty deep in these fights. I don’t know…”