“BATTLE OF THE AGES! Twenty years of Playboy Boxing! 2013 Playmate of the Year Raquel “Rocky” Pomplun v. 1993 Playmate of the Year Jenny Mac the Knife” McCarthy!”

Above referenced garish banner at press conference has Jenny McCarthy in a mood - twenty years of Playboy boxing indeed! J-Mac sour about the emphasis on age difference, not her usual clowning self. Scowling at podium, lecturing press about the “golden age of Playboy boxing … and you are looking at it!” Raquel with poisoned pill compliments about Jenny as an “early pioneer” … “used to watch her on PPV when I was a kid …” on and on in this vein. Jenny on a slow burn – all scowls and glares. Promoters wisely nix photographers request for a stare-down shot.

Fight night … Raquel Pomplun to ring in black bikini, boots and gloves to theme from “Rocky” … white bunny head logo of one of the bikini cups … J-Mac to ring to strains of “Mac the Knife” in kelly green bikini boots and gloves … white bunny head on one logo … white shamrock on the other. Raquel smirking during instructions, Jenny with baleful stare.

Round 1: Latina on her toes out of the corner, looking to use rangy speed against older blonde, Jenny with chin settled behind her dukes. For a woman making her FCBA debut, Raquel looks very well schooled. Popping with the jab … pap … pap … pap … J-Mac head snapping back as opponent targets the forehead. “Move yer damn head, goil!” bellows Scrubby McGee and Jenny begins to bob and waver more … working way inside … jabbing with younger woman to disrupt rhythm. Once inside, blonde flurries with both hands to toned brunette abs, while Pomplun looks to tie up. Jenny violently trying to get hands free while Raquel coolly lets her burn energy – could pay off later in fight! Ref breaks fighters and Pomplun throws sneaky right on the break! Jenny stunned for a moment, then enraged. Bum-rushes younger fighter to the ropes and tears in with both hands but mostly just hammering the Pomplun guard. Raquel nestled behind tight guard, picking spots to throw sneaky little right hand leads – not doing heavy damage but goading and frustrating Jenny. At bell, Pomplun pushes Jenny Mac of with both arms extended and the women exchange holiday wishes as referee quickly between them. Round to Pomplun off surprising degree of ring generalship – dictating terms and mostly controlling pace.

Round 2: Latina back on her bicycle, circling ring but McCarthy more focused in pursuit. When Raquel circles right, Jenny steps wide and cuts ring off. Pomplun jab makes J-Mac pay the toll to get inside but once in there, Jenny goes to work – buffeting ribs and toned tummy. Mac gets her back into right uppercut to sternum and draws a grunt out of Rocky, who is struggling to clinch with determined blonde. Pomplun corner screaming for a break but ref sees hands are free and girls are working and lets it go. After a long half minute of punishment, Latina able to spin blonde and dance out … and for first time we see that shyte eating grin out of McCarthy, who taps own noggin and taunts Pomplun, “C’mon … c’mon …” beckoning with fists for younger woman to engage and when Raquel circles away, Jenny in smirking pursuit. Mac feints left hook to body and bring it up to the chin and rings brunette’s bell … Pomplun stumbles back disorganized and Jenny is all over her, lunging to come to grips. Rocky looks to clinch and is treated to an accidental () butt as jenny violently jerks head up and clips Raquel’s chin. Pomplun corner screaming “foul”! Mac digs left hook to the body, then another, and Pomplun sags to her right at the bell. Jenny forcing eye contact and telling her ALLLLLLL about it as referee again forced to get between fighters. Nice comeback round for Jenny Mac.

Round 3: No panic in Pomplun corner, younger Playmate reminded of game plan – ‘She’s forty-seven f*cking years old … make her chase … make her pay when she comes in … clinch and get out … burn this old b*tch out … draw her into the deep end and then take her out late.” – Raquel nodding affirmatively. Raquel still erect but now more flatfooted out of corner, dukes high in classic boxer puncher stance. J- Mac with dukes under chin, bobbing and moving head side to side. Pomplun sliding back from the charge – jabbing – jabbing – then dropping the right hand lead to the temple which stops the blonde in her tracks. Jenny startled by the shot - snarls and hooks to Rocky’s chin but Latina already backpedaling away. Jenny pursues, flurries left right to body … takes an uppercut to chin in response and again, Rocky gets out … looking to do harm and get out … not trade. Pomplun able to score points, minimize return damage and steal the round.

Round 4: Pomplun corner telling her – you got the pace you want, now start damaging her! Pomplun flat footed, dangling left to lure blonde in then bouncing hard right hand leads off the skull. McCarthy stubborn in pursuit, landing occasionally with left hook to the body but too often eating that straight right hand. Late in the round, right hand lead snaps blonde head back! Jenny Mac walking in post holes … clearly hurt! Brunette on her quickly, buffeting her to ropes with left hook, and then bashing both hands to the head as older woman turtles up. Tellingly, while Raquel batters the head, her corner is screaming for the body!

Round 5: Wiley old fox J-Mac, having weathered 4th round storm, now looking to turn fight back her way. Instead of the bob and weave, Jenny now jabbing with younger Playmate – abrupt change in tactics unsettling Pomplun. J-Mac’s jab vastly underrated – coulda woulda shoulda been a classic boxer instead of a brawler but for the “McCrazy” factor” – and she is beating Rocky to the punch and disrupting her rhythm. Frustrated Latina wings left hook, blonde snakes neck back to avoid it and lands right hand lead to the chin, brunette back with hard left hook to the body and then brings hooks back up to the temple. Mac shakes head for cobwebs and looks for right uppercut and eats left to the chest instead. Two want action as round winds down and crowd rising to its feet … these are not bunnys, they are wildcats! At bell, women lock eyes and in shockingly un-Jenny like display of sportsmanship, McCarthy bats gloves with Pomplun in sign of mutual respect but make no mistake – its no quarter asked or given! Close round, most seeing it McCarthy’s way off early use of the jab.

Round 6: Pomplun corner “She’s tired! She’s dead tired! Don’t let her fight in spots - set a pace that will burn her out!!!” Raquel straight out of her corner … and runs into a blonde missile who looks anything but tired! McCarthy left to the ribs … doubles it and digs hook to liver … clips brunette with twisting uppercut that telescopes neck. Stunned Latina backpedals … looking to use jab to keep blonde fury at bay … Jenny not having it! Feints hook and cracks Pomplun jaw with the right … another right and Pomplun staggers back to ropes …. Jenny using left hand to stabilize and pounding away with that overhand right! Raquel Pomplun eyes fluttery … staggers to left and drops to knees … McCarthy shoots hand in air as she is escorted to neutral corner … Pomplun to one knee and then spills over onto side … rolls onto back as the count passes her. Winner by knockout in the 6th round: Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy.

Post fight: Jenny chipper, brooding pre fight a distant memory, “Yeah … there were some things I didn’t like … not gonna get into that. Nothing personal. The kid’s a brat with a fresh mouth – who’s THAT remind you of? (Jenny grinning) Seriously, you got to make your move to make your mark – but this kid had no business coming for me in her first fight! Really? Really?!!”

“But enough of that … let’s get to the fight everyone wants to see! Bella Thorne .. you’re walking around with the bantamweight belt and JMD championship … but you know and I know you are not the best bantamweight … and you sure ain’t the Juggs of Mass Destruction. Pick up a phone, baby girl … call collect if you want … this is the fight the people want to see, right George?”

And from off camera … it’s Big George Foreman! Former Heavyweight champion who improbably reclaimed the title at the age of 45. “Jenny … it’s just like you always say, age ain’t nothing but a number. I know that …and I proved that when I won back the heavyweight championship at 45 years of age … and I hope you get the chance to show the FCBA the same thing!”