GWYNETH PALTROW VS CHARLIZE THERON

Results by Lookout

At The Asylum

Gwyneth Paltrow Age 47, Height 5’10”
Charllze Theron Age 44, Height 5’ 9 1/2”

BEFORE

Two tall blonde Academy Award winners approach the podium. Paltrow takes the podium first. “You know, Charlize has always been jealous of me. I’m a better actress and prettier. I won my Academy Award for acting. She won hers because a makeup man made her look homelier than she really is. Now I am going to prove I’m a better fighter. If she’s the GOAT, the FCBA has deteriorated since I last fought. In her last fights she has looked old, really old” Charlize’s smile disappears and her eyes narrow as she gives Gwyneth a cold stare and walks off

THE FIGHT Paltrow enters wearing a red bikini with her blonde hair flowing around the shoulders. She walks to the center of the ring and waves at the cheering fans. Theron harkens back to her early days wearing a cream color bikini, blonde hair in a pony tail and she is barefooted. She stays in her corner letting Paltrow get the applause. After getting the usual instructions in the center of the ring, Paltrow extends her hand, but Charlize refuses and walks back to her corner. Paltrows corner knows that their girl has infuriated the GOAT and that is not a good sign

Round One Bell, Theron casually stands up rolling her shoulders, hands at her side loosening up a few seconds before getting her hands up, but Paltrow charges out catching Theron in her corner. Gwyneth rings her opponent up with a right uppercut followed by a left to the body, Theron desperately trying to get out of the corner, but Paltrow is keeping her there with right and then a left cross to the head followed a solid right to the body. Finally Theron manages to land a series of right jabs to Paltrow’s face that forces her back as Theron works her way into the middle of the ring. Theron starting to take control when Paltrow lands a couple hard punches to Theron’s chest draining the color from Charlize’s face. Paltrow lands couple more crosses to Theron’s bra. Theron’s hands drop to protect her jewels and Paltrow takes advantage by landing a straight right to Charlize’s midsection and then a right uppercut finds Theron’s chin, Paltrow has Charlize against the ropes She lands right to Theron’s midsection. Theron’s sagging in the ropes as the bell rings

Round Two Paltrow is now stalking Theron. Theron’s using her long legs to move around as she looks for an opening. She throws a sweeping right that Paltrow avoids and goes back to pounding Theron’s chest as Theron groans in pain. Theron unleashes a series of jabs, a left, another left then a right cross driving Paltrow back towards the ropes until Paltrow stops her with another pair of punches to her chest. PALTROW IS DOWN. A vicious right cross turns her to her left and she goes down by the ropes. Charlize in her corner watches as Paltrow struggles to get to her feet. She’s on her knees at the count of five and regains her feet at nine. Referee cleans her gloves and waves them back in. Theron pounds Paltrow back into the ropes with slashing rights and lefts . She lands a right hook to Paltrows chin. Paltrow rolling groggily against the strands as Theron goes to finish her opponent, but the rings Round two goes to the GOAT

Round Three Charlize moves carelessly in for the kill. Suddenly her world is rocked as an overhand right crashes into her face freezing the Golden Goddess in her tracks. Paltrow goes back to work downstairs bumping the breath from her opponent with short right and lefts into Theron’s midsection. Then a left hook drives Theron back into the ropes. Paltrow turns it on as she lands a right to Theron’s head and then a left to the chest. A left crashes into Theron’s jaw then a right to the chest. Back and forth, back and forth as Charlize sags in the ropes. Theron is glassy eyed, weakly pushing out punches. Paltrow steps back, takes a breath and wades in to finish the legend. The referee is watching Theron closely, but the busted up Theron get’s semblance of guard up and manages enough defense to prevent a stoppage before the bell rings. Theron manages to stagger back to her corner. Paltrow is grinning as she sits down on her corner stool knowing that she has taken round three by a shutout

Round Four Panic in Theron’s corner. Furious work on her by Jennifer Lawrence and Margaret Robbie as they rub her legs, put ice packs to her chest and administer smelling salts, Charlize has somewhat recovered. At the bell, Theron starts moving parallel to the ropes. She’s moving to keep away from Paltrow, buying time to recover a little more. The crowd is getting restless, starting to boo Charlize. Theron moves in on Paltrow landing a right to the body and then a left hook to the chin. Paltrow shows no fear as she is willing to trade, as she lands another overhand right to Charlize’s face. No finesse, just mindless punching. Crosses, hooks and jabs crash into the two as they punch away until Paltrow starts giving ground. Theron is not letting her off the hook as she drives Paltrow into a corner with a furious barrage of left hooks to the head and rights to her chest Paltrow is desperate. She’s try to punch back but Theron is staying close, she can’t the room, but she manages to ride it out to the bell.

Round Five Paltrow knows she has to go to the body as she comes out low and getting under Theron’s guard, lands scrubbing left and rights to Theron’s body. Paltrow hears Theron’s grunts and goes higher to her chest. She knows that’s one of Therons weak spots. Charlize is moaning in pain as Paltrow goes in tor the kill. Theron steps back, and connects a right uppercut to Paltrows chin knocking her back a couple steps. Then, savage right to the solar plexus doubles Paltrow over leaving the sagging older woman vulnerable Theron’s right uppercut sweeps up from he knees. She feels the punch slam into Paltrow’s chin and turns and walks to her corner The sound of the punch landing on Paltrow’s chin is heard by ringsiders and draws a reaction of awe.They know the fight is over. Paltrow is flung back into the ropes which cushions her fall. She slides down to her knees and then pitches forward face down. Charlize. already in her corner has Jennifer Lawrence take off her gloves a as she looks out at the crowd and listens to the count. When she hears ten, She turns and watches as Paltrow’s ring men bring her around. She then walks over to the still prone blonde and looking down drops the gloves onto Paltrows chest saying “here’s a souvenir to remember me by” and leaves the ring, looking worse than her opponent, but the winner by a KO5

AFTER

Theron is escorted back to her dressing room by Robbie and Lawrence. Walking in, she finds Tess Valmore sitting on a massage table

CT: “Look Tess, I just spent 15 minutes having another woman beating on me. I’m not in the mood for an interview”

Tess: ‘I have just one question and it’s as a friend, not for publication”

CT: “What?”

Tess: “Why did you walk off the podium and then refused to shake hands?”

CT: “Well, it goes back 19 years. Back then, she had won the Academy Award for Best Actress. She was the toast of the town. Me, while I had been in about 16 movies, I was what they called “eye candy” hanging on DiNiro’s or Affleck’s arm, like they had won a prize. I even had to be eye candy for an ape. I had to join the FCBA to pay my bills. Unfortunately, I liked it and stayed. Then along came Monster. Yes, the makeup men did super job making look like the real life character. Then, the leading movie critic, Roger Ebert said he considered my acting “one of the greatest performances in the history of cinema”. Next thing I knew. I was holding that statue and Paltrow was no longer the toast of the town. She couldn’t handle it and still can’t. I’m not going to argue who is the best looking. She’s gorgeous, but when she puts me down as an actress, well those are fighting words. Now, get out of here so can get dressed and go home to bed. I’m beat up and tired".