Petra Nemcova:
(41, 5’10, 11:1 BBU, SIRENs)

Sarah Brandner:
(31, 5’11, 4:4 BBU, Black Eagle Boxing)

BEFORE:
Lots to like on paper for this bout, with the locker room leader of the SIRENs, Petra Nemcova, returning to action against Black Eagle Boxing’s darling German native: the tall, ravishing Sarah Brandner. 

Petra in particular looks excited about her return to the ring after six months of no-shows - she smiles widely at the press room as her fans at the back go wild with anticipation at her comeback.

“I know I’ve been away for a while, but I’ve been busy transitioning into a manager role backstage. Besides, girls like Diana need some looking after, and I don’t mean in terms of her boxing success - that girl’s done and achieved plenty all on her own. For me, I’m fine with testing myself every once in a while, and Brandner sounds like the ideal opponent on paper: the girl’s got the height and youth on her side, so I’m eager to see how long I’ll last with her tonight.” 

“Hmph. I promise I’ll make it quick, grandma,” Sarah replies with some uncalled for spite, her thick German accent coming through despite her excellent command of English. “You know, I almost thought it was a joke when my management called and said Petra wanted to challenge me. She’s a good decade older than me!” 

“If I were indeed your grandma,” Petra replies on reflex. “I’d be sure to teach you some manners, blondie.”

“Heh. Bring it on. Like I said, I’d bet you won’t last three rounds in there with me.”

Sarah certainly does have a point as the two ladies come face-to-face at the podium for the official staredown, with the German model and soccer WAG looking lean and confident and a good one inch taller than her Czech counterpart. Of course, stranger things have happened, with Petra’s only loss in the BBU to date at the hands of Joan Smalls in a freakin’ Welterweight title challenge, something Brandner can only dream of at this point herself, with the German’s losses having mounted since 2018.

Fight night and Petra enters the arena first, waving to the crowds with a white shawl over both shoulders, a silver-lined blue bikini showing off her toned figure for someone in her 30s. The Head Siren’s wearing red gloves tonight. Brandner showboating as usual, striding through the curtains in her traditional German national outfit, looking like a cross between a barmaid and a traditional sheep herder. Still, she’s getting all the cat-calls in the arena, which makes her grin wide with pride. Later, she draws even more wolf whistles as she lets the straps fall off her shoulders and then there goes the entire dress as it slips off her body completely, revealing a red bikini ensemble underneath. The German model’s wearing black gloves for this contest. 

Without further ado, the referee waves his hands for the bell. HERE WE GO with ten rounds of Welterweight action! 

ROUND 1:
And without further ado, Brandner flies into action! The lanky German blonde wants to make a statement here tonight and doesn’t hesitate to let the first punches fly! She goes into overdrive as she fires off an early hook into Petra’s arms, and then another and another crash in, with Petra left grunting as she’s forced to take several strides backwards to go with the flow. Sarah keeps the pressure on her older opponent, mixes her assault with short jabs to the face but almost always goes back to her power swinging. Unfortunately, Petra just ain’t that troubled, even for someone her age and supposedly out of shape. The Czech blonde keeps her guard firm like she’s taught her own girls, weathering the German’s abuse and only coming away from this opening melee with slight abrasions to her body and arms from Sarah’s wild attacks.

ROUND 2:
Sarah, having behaved at the end of last round as though she outrightly won it, now goes back into offensive mode as she assumes it’s just a matter of time before the older blonde just wilts into her arms. In addition, Brandner lets out loud grunts as she swings away at Petra’s guard, like some valkyrie riding a unicorn into battle, but all of a sudden lets out a painful gasp of her own (this time for real) as Petra retaliates with a mouthful of leather delivered to those luscious lips instead! Perhaps Petra is the one who couldn’t stand the noise and just wanted to shut her the hell up? Sarah left stunned for a moment but chalks it up to a lucky strike, primes another swing but gets her chin rocked upwards by a step-in blast to the jawline, with Petra taking the initiative to come in hot instead, showing off her speed for someone a decade older! Sarah left groaning and half-shouting out in pain and anger, suddenly getting herself beaten back by Nemcova’s aggression. Petra simply tosses a right hand into the bigger girl’s face whenever Sarah’s about to swing a hook of her own in her direction. All that’s left at the end of three minutes is the German’s battered pride and rapidly reddened nose, as the Siren shows her younger counterpart how it’s done!

ROUND 3:
Now that both women have gotten a feel of each other’s power, Sarah flies inwards with even more aggression, completely disregarding her earlier manhandling at the hands of Petra. It bears some fruit early, with Petra caught off guard by her opponent’s almost stubborn aggression. Petra groans as her body takes a beating from low lefts and rights, with Sarah failing to break her guard up high and deciding to go south of the border instead. The German sees some success in stuffing leather into her opponent’s tummy, but quickly realises it’s a mistake when the first return hook catches her flush on the cheek, turning her head clean to the side, and then another punch slams into the side of her head just above the eye. OUCH!! That’s what happens when you ain’t paying no attention, folks, and suddenly, the referee has to pause the action to check on that nasty cut that’s developed across the top of your eye. Of course, the German model is still gnashing her teeth, adrenaline pumping as she still tries to get at Petra despite the trickle of red flowing down one of her cheeks. Thankfully, the doctor gives her the go-ahead to continue fighting, but the rest of the round has Petra continuing to exploit her foolhardiness, leading Brandner around the ring by the nose with long jabs and deliberately tagging her bruised eye, leaving it even more badly swollen by the time the bell rings.

ROUND 4:
Sarah’s cut getting patched up in between rounds but it seems as though the blonde ain’t giving two hoots about the throbbing pain. Her brows are narrowed in Petra’s direction as she springs from her stool at the opening bell to the fourth round. Here comes the German model yet again, winding up her right hand to SMOKE the older blonde to the middle of her face, but instead, she gets SMOKED instead when Petra leapt backwards to avoid, then catch her on the face with a glove of her own to the lips. Sarah goes in for broke with an immediate follow-up attack, but by this point, her eyes are squeezed shut from the pain, and the second swing goes wide! Petra shows off her excellent form, weaving slightly backwards to avoid the missed attack, then PACKS a nasty uppercut into the base of her chin! And DOWN BRANDNER GOES!! The big blonde simply falls like a sack of potatoes, as her back hits the mat and gets glued there for the rest of the 10 seconds! Brandner’s only signs of movement are the rising and falling of her chest as the referee signals for the closing bell! This fight was over before it started!

Official Decision: Petra Nemcova defeats Sarah Bradner via KO4!

AFTER:
A big win for the SIRENs team tonight, with Nemcova proving she still has what it takes to hang with the younger girls. Of course, it’ll hopefully be an even bigger night if their resident Flyweight manages to defend her title later on in the evening. For now, Petra raises her hands with confidence, a lifetime of modelling and dealing with wannabe models leading to further success in the boxing ring. 

She does try to be gracious by staying by Sarah’s side, hovering over the fallen blonde like any other mother would, but Sarah’s completely out of it throughout the post-fight, barely registering a moan as she’s carried off stage on a stretcher by the medical team.

Petra left to soak in the cheers of her name regardless, and the Siren quickly breaks into a final smile to acknowledge her fans’ efforts in sticking by her. If this is how she continues to fight even after being out of action for six months, what else can we say? Sign us up for the next vacation!