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31 May 2021 Kat Dennings vs Charli XCX

Page history last edited by caspian2 2 years, 4 months ago

A MUSICAL NIGHT AT THE ASYLUM III: SEASON OF THE WITCH PPV

Posted by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on 31 May 2021 at 6:24am

BEFORE:

"I respect this girl," says Charli with a smile. "She's a top bantam with plenty of power. But. I KNOW I can beat her. And, when I do, maybe I'LL start getting some opportunities around here."

"Well," says Kat with a smile of her own, "I respect her, too. She can fight, and there are plenty of girls in this division she can beat. Unfortunately for Charli, she won't be in the RING with one of those girls tonight."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back and ringside and that's 'Boom Clap' and here comes the singer of that huge hit, Charli XCX!"

McCarthy: "And, let me break up the mutual admiration society between her and that Campbell Clone Dennings by pointing out that Charli is a TYPICAL. DANCING. HOOKER. OPPONENT. With NO FCBA wins. And, Dennings is a talentless Campbell Clone..."

Tess: "Who babified YOU..."

McCarthy: "I. WAS. ROBBED!"

O'Dell (sighing): "Charli into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal that tiger print number we've seen before, and it's clear she's been training HARD for this one. Aaaannnddd that's 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing'; by Scissor Sisters shaking the walls of the Asylum, and that can only mean that Kat 'The Rack' Dennings is on her way to the ring..."

McCarthy: "DON'T YOU EYE ME, DENNINGS! I'LL COME UP THERE..."

Cassie: "Settle down, Grandma. We don't want you to break a hip..."

McCarthy: "YOU...SHUT UP, SCABBO!"

O'Dell (sighing): "Dennings into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that curve-hugging black number we've seen before. And, the ladies are about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Kat. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Dennings has NO talent and any REAL fighter would beat her, but this girl is a TDHO! Dennings."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "Here we go. Charli using the feet. She doesn't want to get inside and slug with Kat, and that's probably wise. She's keeping distance with the jab and the legs, dipping past Dennings' jab, stepping to middle distances, getting off in combination. Kat closing, but Charli giving a little ground, keeping the range..."

Tess: "Nice movement by Charli. She's showing some good feet."

O'Dell: "Definitely is, and she's frustrating Kat's offense, at least at the moment, with the movement and that quick left jab. Dennings not able to get inside and get physical with the British beauty. Instead, Charli's having things on her terms, and it's looking like showing up on the cards..."

McCarthy: "If Dennings could actually FIGHT..."

Cassie: "Here's where I remind the fans that Kat babified YOU..."

McCarthy: "I. WAS. ROBBED!"

O'Dell (sighing): "Final seconds ticking away in the first. Singer has had just about everything she wanted so far in this stanza. Good combination, Charli. Kat steps in, gets a couple of hooks to the body off, and there's the bell. Not close. Charli XCX takes the first and gets the early 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins with Kat pressuring. Dennings getting past Charli's defenses now and getting inside where she can bang body. British brunette trying to tie up in there, but Kat's been here before, she shoves off, punches free, keeps working, sometimes upstairs but mostly down..."

Cassie: "She'll just wear you OUT with that body work..."

O'Dell: "No question that's the plan. Dennings letting Charli have it to the ribs and midsection, upstairs with a nice right hook. Charli ties up again and the ref steps in to break the ladies apart. Singer on the move, but Kat cuts the ring, crowds her again, and goes right back to work..."

McCarthy: "Ref needs to watch for low blows in there!"

O'Dell: "Final thirty seconds of round two. Dennings landing a nice combination that backs up Charli. Singer circles away, but Dennings right back at her, going back body now. Charli tying up. Kat shoving free and landing a solid right at the bell. No doubt about this one. Kat."

Tess: "And, we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Charli back on the move. She's doubling and tripling the jab now, working hard to slow down Kat, keep her at range. Charli popping into the middle distances, getting off, then dipping away, back to range, back to using that jab on Dennings, frustrating her offense."

Cassie: "This is good stuff from Charli. Nice adjustment."

O'Dell: "Sure is, and it's plenty effective. For her part, Dennings, as always, patient. She's working the feet, coming forward, closing here and there and getting to the body, but, the singer is keeping those exchanges short, getting distance again quickly and getting back to work..."

Tess: "And, that's the key. She's not just working to range, she's getting off in combination when she does it."

O'Dell: "We're down to just fifteen seconds to go in the third. It's been fought mostly on Charli's terms, so it's no surprise that the British beauty has had the better of it. Five seconds to go. Nice combination Charli and there's the bell. No doubt about it for the third round in a row. It's the singer's round."

McCarthy: "And Charli back into the lead 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Charli moving the feet. Kat doing the same, looking to square the British beauty up. Singer making that difficult to do, but Kat lands a nice combination there as the fighters are now working at mid-range. Dennings not trying to close now. Willing to box with..."

Tess: "Interesting change of tactics for Kat."

O'Dell: "Is, indeed, and it seems to be working, at least to a point. Dennings able to get her offense going, giving as good as she gets in exchanges as both fighters work at middle distances. Charli landing a nice flurry there, and Kat fires right back and stings her rival with a hard right."

McCarthy: "Come ON, Charli! Let's this Campbell Clone HAVE it!"

O'Dell: "Down the stretch in a closely-fought fourth. Kat closes now, works some body. Charli trying to tie up, but Dennings levers with that shoulder, opens up the singer's body for some work to the ribs and belly. Charli ties up again and hangs on to the bell. Close. Dennings."

Cassie: "And we're even again, this time at 38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth begins the way the fourth ended. Charli moving, Kat looking to square, closing in spots, but willing to fight at middle distances as well. Charli a nice combination, Dennings slips inside, works some body. Charli ties up, Kat shoves off, lands a solid right hook..."

McCarthy: "Watch that hitting on the break!"

Tess: "There WAS no break!"

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell (sighing): "Charli circles away. Sets up, works the jab. Kat working past, back inside, going tummy in a big way. Charli tying up. Kat levers with that shoulder, opens her rival up for some body work. Charli crouching, ducking and GETS STRAIGHTENED UP WITH A RIGHT UPPERCUT! Charli wobbles and IS DROPPED BY A RIGHT HOOK!"

Cassie: "I only sing once a night, but..."

O'Dell: "Kat to a neutral corner. Charli down on her right side, not moving at all. Count at three. Four. Five. This is going to be academic. Six. Seven. Still no movement from the singer. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! That quickly, it's OVER! And your winner by KO5 is Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"

McCarthy: "Lucky. That's all. Just lucky!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Kat Dennings, and, Kat, a competitive fight for awhile..."

Kat: "Sure was. She can fight and she's proven it before. If she had regular work, she'd get results."

Tess: "She caused some problems with that movement..."

Kat (nodding): "She knows what she's doing in there. She's athletic. For me, though, it was just about patience. Just waiting for my opportunities, and, then, when I got one, taking advantage of it. And, that's what I did."