Avril Lavigne
(37, 5’1 ½, 110 lbs, 52:22 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
Vs.
Olivia Rodrigo
(18, 5’4, 111 lbs, 3:0 FCBA, Free Agent)

Results: Lookout!; Story: Caspian & The Dollhouse

Loads riding on Avril’s first appearance back on fighting soil after a recent, disappointing loss to Megan Fox in her first title offensive in over twelve years. If the Doll is letting that fact bother her, however, she’s not showing it, walking into the press conference hall earlier with dark shades over her eyes and a small smirk for the cameras.

Olivia Rodrigo, by contrast, is one of the few FCBA girls with a current winning streak, the 18-year-old knocking down early challengers like Rita Ora and Lady Gaga but now facing the toughest challenge yet of her budding career. The American enters the press hall hours earlier as well, dressed in a black leather jacket and long tights, giving the crowd a wave before taking her seat at the table.

"My team got the offer for me to fight Avril months ago, actually. At first they told me I should refuse and maybe do it in a year or so when I'm more experienced. But then I watched Cree Cicchino beat the crap out of her…” Olivia pauses with a chuckle. “...and so I immediately called my agent and told him I wanted to do this. Like, I can totally beat her too, let’s do this! So yeah, here we are. My trainer and I went through a bunch of her fights and studied them for days...he showed me all her weaknesses and how to exploit them. I feel like I'm ready!"

Lavigne of course has heard all this strong talk before. She rolls her eyes in response to the newcomer’s wild claims, before responding in turn:

“Whateverrr...one stupid b*tch getting lucky doesn't mean you can do it too Olivia. I'm way better than you at this...and you're going to get smoked if I take you seriously...and I am! I'm going all out on your ass tonight and you can thank that b*tch Cree for that. You're a pretty good singer and all, but if you think beating a couple of girls who like, barely won a fight in their life makes you good enough to beat me....I mean...ph-lease b*tch."

It’s a make-or-break win for Avril Lavigne, who spent the last few years boasting about her readiness to become Flyweight champion. Now, with her latest setback, she needs the rest of the league to take her seriously once again. Fight night and Lavigne rolls out the red carpet first, quite literally having a pair of servants unfurl the way before strutting out behind them. The Doll is dressed in a black sports bra and short tights with hot-pink trimmings and matching colored gloves. Her blonde hair in a tight ponytail. Avril wears a no-nonsense expression on her face tonight, something we aren’t so used to seeing from this bratty hottie.

Olivia is looking confident as well for someone who’s only had three fights under her belt. She emerges from the curtains in a white sports bra, black and gold boxing trunks, pumping a pair of black gloves to the cheer of the crowds. Both ladies continue glaring at each other throughout the pre-fight proceedings. Slight three-inch height advantage for Rodrigo, but of course, Avril comes in the heavy favourite by having over 20 times more fights to her resume.

There’s the wave of the hand and HERE WE GO with ten rounds of Flyweight action!

ROUND 1:
Pure aggression from Avril Lavigne to open this fight, the Doll charging the newcomer down and showing no quarter. She wants to clearly overwhelm Rodrigo and make a comeback statement tonight, Avril shocking her opponent to the arms with heavy combos landing all over. Of course, it’s Olivia’s smug face that the Doll’s really after, as those jazz hands land pik pak pik, pushing Rodrigo back with another grunt. So far, no offensive maneuvers from Rodrigo’s corner, as the rookie attempts to stay alive but makes it look easy enough with a firm guard locked over her face. That won’t stop Avril for long, however, and the Canadian singer quickly switches to targets south of the equator, pounding her mitts into the American’s abs to force her back some more. End of the round and Olivia has barely landed a jab in return, a total of three to four counter-hits catching Avril on the face throughout the entire round - it’s not nearly enough to stop the Doll’s dominance, and Avril takes it wide.

ROUND 2:
More counter-punches rip in, however, as Olivia finds her groove and footing a little better, keeping herself away from Avril’s mad rushes and then tagging the Doll over and over on the face. Avril’s aggression can only do so much, especially against a girl half her age and full of youthful energy. Lavigne, of course, is trying to get in close, bash a hook into the arms or over the top of the guard, aiming to send Rodrigo into nighty-night land with a well-placed punch. But Olivia’s clearly been taking lessons from some of the Doll’s hated adversaries, swerving this way and that to avoid the attacks like a seasoned veteran, before planting leather across the face to earn her some much-needed payback. Lavigne’s movements are getting more and more haphazard by the time the bell rings, throwing errant hooks at the newcomer in the hopes of striking it big, but the only thing the Doll earns for herself is another fist tucked into the side of her body, drawing a bawdy grunt as the bell rings to even out the numbers.

ROUND 3
Avril is still trying to close the distance, but clearly slowing down now, making more calculated swings towards the rookie. It’s quite clear the veteran Doll still doesn’t think much about her opponent, least of all expecting this fight to go longer than three rounds. She fires off more jabs into the arms but then her hooks are missing wide and off the mark, as Olivia batters her back to the body after swerving out of the way repeatedly. Rodrigo takes some damage in the middle minute, however, after getting caught back by a blasting hook to the side of the head, making her taste Avril’s resolve first-hand. But the newbie stays away for the rest of the round, keeping her hands loose and ultimately edging out a win by the bell.

ROUND 4:
AND HERE COMES LAVIGNE, looking incredibly INCENSED as she blasts a cross-hand straight into the middle of Rodrigo’s arms! OUCH! No nonsense from the Doll as she comes in charging, barreling more punches to the arms and body, looking for blood! Olivia’s pushed into survival mode, breathing hard as she dodges and evades, but Avril’s staying right on top of her, growling as she rocks another shot to the youngster’s body. Rodrigo actually clinches up intermittently, no doubt having learnt some survival tactics during her training sessions. She controls the shorter Lavigne on the ropes a couple of times, breathing hard on the Doll’s shoulder, whilst her arms are wrapped around her shoulders, preventing Avril from socking her to the body some more. Round ends and it’s the referee who pulls Rodrigo off, though we’d be hard pressed to say she won that one.

ROUND 5:
For someone closing on 40, Avril’s stamina has improved by leaps and bounds. She springs forth yet again, hoping to continue her momentum from the last round. An overhand strike stuns Rodrigo again to the middle of her arms, driving her backwards, and if the rookie was expecting her older counterpart to have run out of steam by this point of time, she’s sorely mistaken, letting out another shout of pain as one of Avril’s straight hands nails her cleanly on the nostrils. THIS MIGHT BE IT! Avril ROARS in, swinging for the fences, catching Rodrigo once off the top of her head, another across her chin, and DOWN THE NEWCOMER GOES!! Rodrigo has a look of anguish on her face as she goes crashing down onto her side! It’s the first KNOCKDOWN of the evening - could it be the last?!

Rodrigo’s slowly pushing herself back up to all fours, then clutching at the ropes, trying to recover. Meanwhile, Avril’s looking smug in the neutral corner, raising a fist high to the adoring fans, but also clearly winded from these continuous rounds of chasing Olivia down. Sad news indeed as the rookie returns to her feet by the count of 8, nodding curtly to the referee that she intends to continue!

Two more minutes on the clock, and at the sound of the bell, here Avril comes again! This time, however, she’s MUCH more subdued, chest breathing hard as she tries to go in for the kill with wide lunges and even more haphazard swings. But Rodrigo is a fast recoveree, legs immediately working to keep herself out of harm’s way, swerving her head and torso to the side to avoid those bad hooks. Down to the final minute, Rodrigo’s actually fighting back, jabs slamming into Avril’s face and body, the American’s speed shown off as she beats the Doll’s offensive back, for now.

ROUND 6:
But things aren’t looking too good for Avril, whose tireless chasing in the past few rounds has come back to bite her in the arse. She’s moving sluggishly now, trying to fend off Olivia’s counterattack with more of the same: sudden hooks flung outwards at her face and head, but Rodrigo’s just too sharp enough to block or dodge completely, slowly beginning to rack up the damage as the rookie lands another cuffing shot across the Canadian’s face. Lavigne finds herself backing up instead, walling her head off, but then the taller girl uses her own reach advantage to slam leather off her pale tummy, going to work with multiple combos and louder grunt work. End of the round and there’s a final melee that erupts near the ropes, Olivia taking a big swing for Avril’s head but missing, and the two ladies tangle and wrestle in each other’s arms on the ropes, taking turns turning each other over before slugging shots to the body. Referee has to break up the melee at the bell, but it’s clear one girl has made it out of there in better shape with Lavigne panting heavily as she hobbles her way to her corner.

ROUND 7:
Lavigne is still moving slowly, as she struggles to find her breath. Olivia’s corner, meanwhile, has clearly encouraged their girl to go in for the kill, so here she comes! Rodrigo moves like lightning as she returns with jab combos that end in powerful hooks to Avril’s arms, on more than one occasion targeting the songstress’ open body as Avril opts to protect her head instead. Lavigne’s fighting for her life as she moves backwards to create distance, but still underestimates her foe’s speed and resolve. Rodrigo takes another run forward, feinting a hook high before swinging a right fist low - POWW!! of zinger lands hard on Avril’s tummy, which STUNS the poor Doll in place! OUCH!! Blonde girl doubles over groaning with her mouth open looking like she just took a freaking bullet, one arm clasped over her midsection from that stunning belly punch! Rodrigo’s taking NO quarter, rushing in and CLOCKING Lavigne right on the jaw with a huge hook! The Punk-Princess THROWN sideways from that punch, tumbling towards the corner where she groggily crashes against the ring post, hugging the top rope with her right arm for support as she tries to steady herself. But the teenager is right on her! Olivia smelling the biggest win of her career in the air advances quickly on the poor Doll who’s now looking legitimately frightened as she holds up her left glove in a feeble attempt to defend herself from the oncoming rookie!

The brunette is locked and loaded, ignores the blonde’s weak attempts at defending herself and RAMS her gloves into Avril’s breadbasket! OUFFFHH! OUUUGHH! GGRRUGHG!! PFFFFFHHH! OGGHH! These sounds are all that the battered proud blonde can muster in front of her shocked fans as Olivia Rodrigo turns her belly into her new personal, extra-soft punching bag, blasting that pale skin relentlessly from both sides as most of her swings connect and penetrate deep into the Doll's reddening abdomen! Good lord!

It’s all over in a flash though as a few of Olivia’s relentless body blows is more than Lavigne can take - the Canadian's wobbly legs turn to jelly and simply GIVE OUT just as her midriff turns to mush and the ruined Doll WILTS down, hitting the mat with a THUD on her side beneath the ropes, hugging her body with both arms in absolute agony, mouth agape and gasping for air as her sweaty head rests on the canvas.

Rodrigo immediately throwing her arms in the air after taking a quick look at the older singer’s condition, turns around smirking and makes her way to a neutral corner, arms raised the entire way - realizing she may have just pulled one of the biggest FCBA upsets in recent memory.

Referee taking his time with the count, giving Lavigne every possible chance to save herself from this humiliating defeat at the hands of the teenager rookie but the blonde is unfortunately in no shape to continue fighting here as she spends the entire count hugging her body in a fetal position desperately trying to get some air into her lungs. 9….10….poor Avril is in no shape to continue! ITS OVER!!!

Official Decision: Olivia Rodrigo defeats Avril Lavigne via KO7!

AFTER:
The crowd erupts out of their seats here in this packed arena as the 18 year old singing (and now boxing!) sensation Olivia Rodrigo, with only 3 fights under her belt, soundly defeats veteran Avril Lavigne in what must be one of the biggest FCBA upsets in recent memory! The brunette is ecstatic, grinning and jumping up and down in place with her arms raised before running towards her own corner and to hug her team.

This young star better get snatched up quickly after her performance tonight which puts her at an impressive 4-0 to start her career with big names like Lady Gaga and now Avril Lavigne on her victim list.

Speaking of Lavigne, the beaten Punk-Princess is in dire need of medical help and the Dollhouse medical personnel rush into the ring to get her the treatment she needs all the while Rodrigo’s celebration continues inside the ring with the teenager circling the ring blowing kisses to her many fans who came to support her here tonight and got their money’s worth and then some!

Some may say the writing was on the wall after the Doll’s shocking defeat at the hands of Cree Cicchino exactly one month ago but most could not see Lavigne going down to a complete newbie to the ring right after challenging Megan Fox for the belt.

Well, Rodrigo definitely could see it. The victorious singer all smiles as she steps out of the ring and is hounded by reporters all the way out.

“I have a great team and a big part of this win is thanks to them. I was told to just… weather the storm, wear her down…and then attack her body. And it f*cking worked! I was actually surprised at how quickly she went down and stayed down…I guess they weren’t kidding when they told me about Avril’s ‘glass tummy’!” Olivia chuckles, taking one last sexy victory pose in the middle of the aisle for her cheering fans before exiting to the backstage.

In the ring, Lavigne is finally being helped off the mat and to her stool by her team. The exhausted looking blonde who recently celebrated her 37th birthday slumps onto her stool, leaning against the corner post and surely contemplating her future in the ring following 3 straight humbling defeats, two of them coming at the hands of teenaged ring-rookies. But if that wasn’t enough, there’s one more thing surely on the Canadian’s mind as she morosely stares down at the mat - a rematch against Emma Watson looming barely a week away.

Good luck with that Avril…