Adrianne Palicki v Kylie Jenner

(results by Lookout, words by Sceej)

Up and down year for the Chin-Checker at 3 wins against 4 losses but her supporters will point out that she fights the best of the best - a veritable Murderer’s Row. Now she is going to try her luck again against the Jenner sisters - Kylie to be specific - Kendall having lifted the lightweight title from the Amazon back in April of this year.

Kylie having a fine 7-3 campaign for 2021; still Vegas making Adrianne a solid favorite off recent championship run and a naturally must bigger woman - near six footer who recently held the welterweight title versus 5’6” Kylie who's basically a big bantam.

Fight Night

Kylie to ring accompanied by Lookout head trainer Nichole Kidman and seconded by her sister Kendall. Brunette mulling about ring when sound system erupts into L.L. Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” … and her comes the Chin Checker, accompanied by Sceej trainer Scrubby McGee and the Loose Cannon, Jenny McCarthy (McGee and McCarthy having worked out there recent “differences” over a bottle of Jamesons)

Round 1: Fighters out of corner, touch gloves in a display of sportsmanship (and is that an exaggerated annoyed eye roll out of Jenny Mac?), then settle behind dukes. Palicki working behind long jab, keeping brunette at arms length, while Kylie works head side to side, looking for an opening. Using her speed, Jenner slips the long jab, gets inside that reach and doubles left hook to the rib cage before big girl pushes her off with double arm thrust. Word is that Lookout brought in big sister Khloe to spar with Kylie but that does not prepare you for the power of Palicki. Slow pace and a lot of lanky stalking by the amazon allows Kylie to use strategic bursts of speed to flurry and get out as she takes the first round.

Round 2: Palicki gets a light slap on cheek in corner from Scrubby, “Wake da hell up, Addie, da fight started t’ree minutes ago!”. Adrianne out of corner eyes sharp and focused. Now when Kylie tries the sudden rush, she is spooked by big sweeping uppercut - misses by less than an inch and THAT would have meant an early goodnight for Miss Jenner! Now it is Palciki advancing lively - no fear - backing Jenner up - jabbing and then throwing that big straight right, landing to chest of Kylie and rattling her down to soles of her boots. Kylie backpedaling rapidly - drawing some boos from action hungry fans. Big Adrianne in pursuit, cutting ring, landing buggy whip left to rib cage that draws a grunt out of Jenner but Kylie fighting back game, flurries left right left to Palicki head - arm punches but they hurt too! Near end of round, Palciki able to push amaller woman back into ring cables and tag her with hard right to forehead right at the bell - puts a shimmy in Jenner’s knees. Big comeback round for Adrianne.

Round 3: Nichole Kidman in the corner, “You’re boxing beautifully but remember - circle away from that right hand? Make her reach then crack her with the counter!”. Girls off their stools and circling wary, both wanting to counterpunch, both wanting the opponent to take the lead. Palicki utilizes reach, begins to pepper Jenner with that heavy telephone pole jab - piling up points and doing damage AND frustrating younger woman out of her game plan! Kylie Jenner lets her hands go - flurrying and trading left right to head - Palicki back with left to rib cage, feigns left hook to head and fires the overhand right and JENNER IS DOWN! Not the “Hammer of Thor” right but enough on it to blast youngster onto her haunches. Jenner back to her feet at “7” - shaken but in good order. After that taste of Palicki’s power, the brunette spends the last 30 seconds of the round on her bicycle, backpedaling, spooked by the knockdown.

Round 4: Palicki giving stalking, Jenner giving up canvas … for three long minutes! Little action - Kylie not eager to taste Adrianne’s power again and Palicki rarely wreckless when walking a girl down. Big blonde able to land occasional jab; brunette occasionally ducks under and lands slapping shot to body as she slips away but neither doing much damage. Scattered boos from crowd - round to Palciki almost by default.

Round 5: Roughly half way through the fight and Sceej fighter likely up by three points on the scorecard. After giving her a round to clear her head, Kidman now telling some hard truths, “Kylie … we need to take these rounds? We need to take some chances … we need to take this fight from her!” Jenner meets Paclicki center ring, letting hands go, bobbing and weaving, trying to do damage, banging to body, occasionally bringin hook upstairs. Big girl responds with long buggy whip hook that rattle brunette rib cage and causes her to clinch. Kylie simply not able to match Adrianne’s size and strength - gets walked to ropes, pinned and pounded - hook to the ribs, up to the chin, left right to chest. Jenner able to spin out, Palciki in pursuit - and stunned with a straight right hand! Adrianne’s legs lock up … and Kylie gambles big with left uppercut … and down goes Palicki! Former Welterweight champion knocked to all fours by game little bantam! McCarthy from corner, “GET UP, YOU BIG DUMMY!”. Palicki on one knee at “5” … on feet at “8” .. and referee motions Kylie “Box!” Kylie Jenner all over former champion for last thirty seconds of round … Palicki in guard and just soaking it up … clubbing right hands to ear … left hook to ribs … belle has a shabby looking Adrianne walking slooooowly to corner as Jenner look is disdain.

Round 6: Frantic work in Sceej corner, McCarthy icing Palicki’s neck, Nolin slapping face “Wake up … you’re blowing it!!!” Adriane asks dazed, “What do I do, Scrubby?” apparently oblivious to fact that veteran corner man is NOT in the corner for this one. Palicki barely off stool and Jenner is on her: sister Kendall’s corner advice consisted of three words: “Finish her - NOW!”. Smaller woman is now the bully - pushing taller opponent into ropes, pinning her her in place with short shots to the body, then really digging the money hook to the liver … and doubling up! Palicki groans and drops to one knee! Referee walking Kylie back to corner … McCarthy screaming from corner “Don’t you punk! Don’t you punk, you big dummy!” Palicki up at “6” but sagging like second hand furniture! Kendall to Kylie as they watch Palicki rise on unsteady legs “I said FINISH HER!” Kylie fairly sprints across ring on referee’s signal - straight right to the jaw … left to the ribs … left to the ribs … Palciki sagging forward … uppercut clips chin and telescopes neck … Palciki lolling own ropes … vacant eyes … strong legs and valiant heart holding her up. Kylie unleashing with right … 1 … 2 … 3 right hands landing to head … AND THE REFEREE STEPS IN … dragging Kylie off a stunned and defenseless opponent.

Winner by TKO in the 6th round … Kylie Jenner!