Sienna Miller versus Alyssa Milano

Results by Simguy, words by Franchise

Pre-fight: “Sienna is tailor made for a girl like me. Sure, she can box, but once she can’t run she falls apart like a paper bag in a thunderstorm. I intend to knock her out tonight before turning my attention to better fighters” states a confident Alyssa Milano. “Alyssa talks a big game for a girl that threw in the towel against a rookie. 2010 has been a great year for me as I battered two of the best sluggers in the division and out-boxed a very game Beth. Tonight, I’ll make an example of Alyssa before working my way further up the division” responds Sienna Miller. Alyssa comes out first in a gold bikini with matching golden gloves and boots, long auburn hair swept back in a ponytail. Sienna comes out next escorted by Monica Bellucci. She disrobes to reveal a white bikini with matching gloves and boots, long blonde hair swept back in a ponytail. Both girls are eager to go as they slam their gloves together and await the opening bell.

R1: Alyssa quickly wades her way inside, eating a crisp jab off her forehead as she seeks to punish her girl belly to belly, but Sienna’s repels her with quick flurries of left hooks and uppercuts. The blonde has clearly learned from her previous encounters with Lohan as she prevents any inside trunk mugging and forces the more experienced girl to regroup. Milano swearing behind her mitts as she continues to try to close the distance, but the blonde’s reach advantage and pinpoint accuracy are forcing her to pay a significant toll as she hooks Sienna’s ribs only to eat a pair of right hooks that blast the brunette in the cheek and force her to cover up. Miller cautiously works her way forward, peppering Alyssa’s guard with a trio of jabs before slamming a straight left into her belly. Milano does manage to land a pair of hooks to Sienna’s belly in the final moments, but the blonde takes the round by a wide margin.

R2: Alyssa is standing before the bell, batting her gloves together as she flies out of her corner a split second after it sounds and barrels into her shocked blonde. Miller covers up earmuff as she’s slammed back into her corner, body on sale as the veteran brunette hurls a blizzard of hateful hooks to Sienna’s breasts that have the younger girl sobbing into her palms. Monica is screaming at her girl to clinch as Miller finally shakes off the shock and snares the brunette’s left arm and presses it against her right hip before slamming a left of her own into the pit of Alyssa’s belly as the brunette slumps forward, allowing a wounded Sienna to return the favor as she swaps positions with Milano and blasts away at her flanks before pasting her in the face whenever she leans upright as she traps her brunette against the ropes. The blonde is having her way with her girl,  blasting her with a left hook just over the right eye as she tries to spin off the cables, bringing a stream of blood trickling down Alyssa’s face as the bell sounds to end the second. Milano’s seconds are hard pressed to work the cut between rounds as the brunette is on the verge of panic, unable to impose her will, and scuffed up far earlier than she’s used to.

R3: Alyssa again tries to take a sledgehammer to her girl, charging in behind a lowered head as she shoulder butts Sienna in the chest and backs her into the ropes, flailing away at her foe’s hips, thighs, belly, and breasts. Miller responds in turn with hooks just above the brunette’s trunk line as Alyssa is forced upright from a pair of hooks to her navel, chin jutting up as Sienna blasts her backwards with a right uppercut that sends Milano staggering backwards to a seat on the canvas before collapsing backwards. Sienna quickly retreats to the neutral corner as the official leans down over Alyssa, looking into her glazed eyes before waving it off! KO 3 Sienna Miller!

Alyssa made a valiant effort early on, but perhaps it’s time for her to reassess her future priorities as she was unable to batter an up and comer that’s struggled against shorter sluggers. Sienna is upbeat during post fight interviews praising Alyssa’s tenacity, but categorizes her as a less powerful Pene before calling out Sarah Carter.  Miller clearly feeling her oats as she's off to a great start in 2010.