Tale of the Tape:

Stana Katic (6-1-0, 6 KO)
5'9, 43 years old

vs.

Rebecca Romijn (31-47-2, 17 KO)
5'11, 49 years old

(Written by Celebrity Wrestling Federation/Results by Lookout!)

Intro:
"AND NOW! Making her eighth appearance in the ring, her third as a managed fighter under the newly formed Celebrity Wrestling Federation flag. Please welcome the Hamilton, Ontario native, standing 5 foot 9, weighing in at 125 pounds, STANAAAAA KAAAAAATIC!!"

On the surface, looking at Katic's torrid 4-1-0 start under the all-but-official Girls Friday banner, one might assume she got on quite peachy with the rest of the group. After all, GF touted some of the biggest names in the industry, such as Gisele Bundchen and Rebecca Romijn, as members of its all-star coaching staff. Whether she'd admit to it or not, learning, albeit briefly, from these ladies undoubtedly shaped the fighter she had become early in her career. However, that didn't mean things didn't get messy after her departure. Stana had always been hesitant to recount the details, but stories of nasty workouts and sparring sessions with head Welterweight coach, Rebecca Romijn, had swirled ever since rumors of this bout hit the airwaves. Romijn, a notorious perfectionist, had ridden the rookie to the point of tears on multiple occasions. In a quest for a modicum of revenge, Katic had turned a routine sparring session into an all-out brawl; cheap-shotting Romijn across the jaw unexpectedly. An iron-chinned Champion in her heyday, Romijn responded by laying out Katic with a slobber-knocking uppercut, leaving the greenhorn twitching and unconscious on her backside, sprawled for the entire gym to witness.

Whistles and catcalls cascaded over the cougar's lithe, bronzed frame as she bounced out of the tunnel, meekly grinning as the micro, CWF-mandated ring garb offered little peace of mind when it came to worrying about wardrobe malfunctions. Having begun to embrace the teeny, biting lycra getup (with little choice in the matter), the more modest tan lines that were previously visible on Katic's plump cheeks, sleek inner thighs, and perky, swelling bosom had begun to fade from view. Each athletic twist, limber, and stretch of her taut body rearranged the lewd, sliding string top and bottoms.

Nearing 50 herself and with a body still worthy of showing off, Rebecca made her grand re-entrance into the ring with just as jaw-dropping a bang. Despite not having fought in nearly three years, Romijn was an absolute assassin in her prime. Still active daily with her coaching and training regiment, the former Unified Middleweight and Welterweight Champion was still as rock-solid as her 20's; sporting a belly button high-waisted thong that mirrored Katic's, and a micro-bikini top that clung to her chest for dear life with every sway and jostle of her slender frame. Her patriotic color scheme elicited a hearty roar from the crowd as she slid into the ring, never taking her eyes off an unnerved Katic as they were ushered to the center for a glove tap that never came from either fighter.

Round 1:
If you were scoring this round based on punches thrown alone, which it appeared the judges were, the blonde might as well have just stayed retired. Just a minute in, and it was painfully obvious the difference between "trainer shape" and "boxing shape", as Katic chased the former model ragged. Dipping past the blonde's sluggish crosses and body shots as if she were sparring with a non-contact jersey on, Katic's toned frame took nary an ounce of punishment the entire round, carefully dissecting Rebecca with blow-after-blow to her concrete midsection. Though much to her credit, Romijn never wilted. As much as the American fans in the arena wanted to believe this was still the same fighter who hoisted multiple belts and felled the Cougar Queen Charlize Theron, it looked increasingly like that fighter didn't reside in this shell any longer. Romijn's best offense of the round came in the closing seconds, where she attempted to parry a Katic uppercut by stopping it with her chin, then lumbering into the brunette for a desperate tie-up, clenching with a sneering Stana until she was saved by the bell. 10-8 for Katic.

Round 2:
Round 2 continued right where the first left off, with Katic pressing the pace and Rebecca continuing to sputter in place. However, as things wore on, Katic was starting to realize she wasn't fighting the likes of Prepon and Silvstedt any longer. This was a Champion. The more punishment she received, the more the volcanic blonde began to erupt right back with some staggering offense of her own. Katic would land a gutting uppercut to the navel, and Romijn would respond in kind with a jarring right of her own. Stana would circle into and rotate through a jaw-rattling left, and the blonde would simply eat it, digest, and explode with an even more volatile left. In the closing minute, and for the first time all fight, Katic looked shaky on her feet.

A very deliberate and patient fighter, Katic stuck with her game plan, continuing to pound away at Romijn's sleek, tanned midsection. Rebecca did little to dissuade her, possibly because she knew her sculpted belly could take it, at least for the time being; instead opting to take away her chin. With so much time out of the game, it was painfully obvious from the shouts of her corner that even something substantially less than Heavyweight power might flicker out the blonde's lights thanks to her extended absence from taking consistent headshots. Katic knew she could set up a knockout shot to the temple, but she needed time to crack the blonde first.

With the clock ticking down in the round, the towering blonde finally reeled an eager Katic into range, slashing the brunette's hanging jaw with a bony CLACK-CLACK. Katic's hazel bulbs fluttered as her skull rattled between the blonde's hair-trigger combo, the bell ringing just as the second ignited against her chin. Arms falling limp to her sides, Katic sloshed on her heels, drifting half a step back into the ropes with a throaty gurgle as her mouthpiece dribbled from her lips. A stream of drool trailed to the mat as she wobbled into the ropes, steadying herself just enough to be guided to her corner while still on both weighted feet. Rebecca did enough to steal the round late, and we've got ourselves a fight. 10-9 Romijn.

Round 3:
With Rebecca waking up the pro-American crowd, this fight took on a completely new life. The once-dormant Romijn was now barking Katic's ear off, reminiscing on how sweet, innocent, and pathetic the brunette looked when Romijn laid her out flat in their training session brawl. Visibly shaken, Katic seemed to come out of a shell herself, somewhat turning her back on her usual composed and stoic nature and instead ripping the blonde with some crafty, unfettered combinations of her own. Her exact intentions weren't clear with ramping up the sh*t talk, but Romijn managed to do little more than incite a turning of the tides. Belly shot, rib shot, bosom shot, haymaker to Romijn's guarded chin. Wash, rinse and repeat. Every so often, the blonde would manage to break up Stana's rhythm with a thumping hammer to the temple, but as soon as Katic hit her back foot, she'd just coil up another hunting right hand. Shots landed for this round were wildly in favor of Katic, but the vet did nearly just as much damage with her sprinkling of percussive blows. Katic takes this round, but only by volume. 10-9.

Round 4:
Having scarcely capitalized on her towering height and reach advantage, Romijn finally began to bully the gangly brunette early in this round; dog-walking Katic into the corner in a controlling clinch before separating just long enough to sling a gutting rabbit punch just below her ribs. Katic squealed and stamped her heel against the mat, her abdomen crunching as her teary bulbs pinched shut, biting down on her snow-white mouth guard with an agonized grimace. Rebecca craned her lithe frame forward and stapled Katic to the corner, planting the point of her shoulder against Stana's bare, bony sternum.

Katic mewled and whimpered with a throaty; "GGGUUUHHLLLGG--HNNNNGGGGGUUUHH--FFFUUGGGGHHHKK" as the blonde proceeded to viciously dichotomize her glistening abdomen. Powerless to discard Romijn, Katic could do little but wince and blubber as the blonde pressed her bouncy, perked B-cups into Katic's own mushrooming pair, flattening the brunette against the post and pinning her for repeated disemboweling uppercuts to her pierced navel. Rebecca would viciously grind her sternum against Katic's, straighten her as tall as her tippy toes would allow, then withdraw to quickly create enough space to rip another gutting fist into her taut tummy. Katic's knees buckled, but she could only sag and separate as far as the blonde would allow, helpless to stop the belly-splitting onslaught. Each consecutive punch only served to increase Rebecca's insatiable appetite; their lascivious body grinding bringing the entire arena to its collective feet.

Katic was already exhausted to the point her quaking thighs had given out as Romijn finally got her fill, the heavy body contact and chest-to-chest grinding having wiggled Stana right out of her slender tube top. Completely drained but incensed as she looked down to see one of her breasts had spilled free and was teardropping out the bottom of her rising top, Katic recklessly rotated through an unrestrained right hand aimed at Rebecca's snobbish smirk. Telegraphed a mile away, the blonde slipped right below Katic's rising fist, instead sliding through a devastating, tightly packaged right cross that decapitated the brunette. Lifted off her heels by her own swing and miss, Katic's braincase snapped sideways as Romijn's fist connected with her temple, sloshing her mouthpiece across the ring along with a mouthful of drool.

Stana's naked chest jiggled and shimmied as her taut frame stiffened on its heels, spasming with convulsions as her hazel bulbs rolled into the back of her skull, her pendulous stems finally buckling inward as she collapsed in a fleshy heap atop her own folded limbs. Her topless frame jolted with unhinged twitches as she slumped to her ass, her arms gracelessly fumbling for the ropes as she lulled to her hip, hoarsely grunting as she sought the aid of the ropes, miraculously not out cold but in a world of hurt. Rebecca arrogantly hunched right in the face of her mindless counterpart, barking out venomous taunts despite no one being home to listen. In an admirable display of stubbornness, Katic somehow beat the count at 9 and spent the next few minutes aimlessly drifting about the ring, eating countless shots to her naked abdomen while covering her head in survival mode. This was one of Romijn's most dominant rounds of the last decade, and she ties the fight with a 10-8 win.

Round 5:
The break between rounds wasn't nearly long enough for Katic, but at least her wardrobe malfunction was temporarily repaired. Temporarily being the key word. Romijn had tasted the humiliation and was intent on amplifying it, pawing at Katic's fragile bra until she once again spilled free. Wearing the useless tube top like a belt, Katic responded the only way she knew how in her frenzy; by whipping brash, feckless temple shots past a Romijn that was finding her stride. Each mindless miss was punished with a straight left or right to Stana's sternum, a heavy mist of sweat exploding with each jiggling impact that left even the audience members wincing with Katic. The brunette rocked on her heels as a particularly crunchy hammer to the tits left Stana zig-zagging across the ring, drunkenly stumbling into the ropes to keep from hitting the deck a second time.

Hooking the top rope with the crook of her armpit, Katic hoarsely blubbered as her eyes rolled in their sockets, her naked chest perking out toward the crowd, peeking through the top and middle rope as her buckled frame bowed against the ropes. Stalking the disoriented brunette, Romijn twirled Katic back toward the center of the ring with a tug on her shoulder, loading up a crippling left hand that mercilessly punished the stunned actress. Katic once again was slung to the canvas, throatily bleating as she was whipped to the ground flat on her belly. Her bare chest mushroomed against the mat, spilling out the sides of her slender sternum before she defiantly pressed to all fours, a stream of blood spilling from her lips as she left her mouthpiece on the mat. Her disheveled auburn locks hung matted with sweat over her shoulder, the once tight braids a frizzled mess from the punishment she'd taken thus far. Crouching awkwardly on all fours, Katic once again used every second of the referee's count to compose herself; rising at 8 and pounding her gloves together to signify she was ready to continue. Romijn only answered with a cackle as Stana waded back in for more, but the bell stopped them both before the next exchange. Romijn again, 10-8. This is turning into a blood-bath.

Round 6:
It might not seem possible, but the more punishment Katic endured, the better she seemed to look as the fight wore on. Perhaps she was just finally fighting with her brain turned off, but the brunette miraculously began to mount whispers of a comeback, showing little to no fear of the blonde despite already going down twice. Romijn was understandably tired after gassing out for the last two rounds, but given the brutal falls and knockdowns she'd already secured, this fight was seemingly already over. Katic was a dead woman walking, Romijn just had to hold on or finish the job. Despite not wilting outwardly, the blonde's sculpted midsection was finally starting to show the bright red signs of trouble as Katic continued to pound away at her ribs. Shrugging off the belly strikes like she ate them for breakfast early, Romijn was beginning to recoil more and more with each thumping blow. Romijn postured as Stana daringly waded forward and pressed the blonde toward the ropes, herding her into a corner before Rebecca lashed out with a heavy-handed cross.

"NNNGGGGLLLGGGHH" Katic throatily gurgled, her eyes glossed over and rocking in their sockets, only she somehow pushed through further. Diving forward as though she had weighted ankle shackles on, the brunette managed to slip forward and rip a piercing right uppercut into the bottom of Rebecca's ribs. The blonde for the first time howled in agony, an echoing CRUNCH erupting as Stana's fleshy slug cracked bone. A shockwave reverberated through Romijn's flexing frame, her abdomen shuttering before she careened into the ropes, violently sucking wind as she collapsed to her backside.

The ring shook as the blonde tried to show it was a fluke, springing right back up despite the crippling twinge in her side. Huffing on abbreviated gulps of oxygen, Rebecca circled opposite Katic's heavy right hand, but in her damaged daze sidestepped into a skimming left hand that caught her chin perfectly. The blonde gurgled as she crumpled into the ropes, her hands falling as Katic threw herself over the shell-shocked Romijn, wailing away with clunky lefts and rights until the official dove in between them, saving Romijn from serious injury.

"Absolutely unbelievable!! And your winner, by TKO in Round 6, STANA KAAAAATIC!!!!"