Tale of the Tape:

Keira Knightley (19-34-2, 12 KO)
5'7, 37 years old

vs.

Hilary Duff (8-19-0, 3 KO)
5'2, 34 years old

(Written by Celebrity Wrestling Federation/Results by Lookout!)

Intro:
"AND NOW! Making her FIRST appearance in the ring as a managed fighter since 2017, under the newly formed Celebrity Wrestling Federation flag. Please welcome the Teddington, Middlesex, England native, standing 5 foot 7, KEIRA KNIGHTLEYYYYYYY!!"

You'd be hard-pressed to find a pair of more middling and less respected former Champions than the two straddling the ropes. Both Unified Bantamweight Title holders over a decade ago, Keira Knightley and Hilary Duff's falls from grace had been disastrous. Neither fighter had won since 2019, and together they sported a paltry 0.333 win percentage overall; hardly a record befitting Champions. Their days of serious contention were likely long behind them, but that didn't mean they still couldn't put on a show in this league. Without the direction of a stable, trainers, facilities, consistent bouts, and the like, success in this cutthroat business was near-impossible. Though her stint in the Celebrity Wrestling Federation had only been a few weeks long, Knightley's confidence alone was distinguishable from Duff's.

Hilary's stout, compact frame glistened in her tight, riding booty-cut shorts and spunky push-up bra; her trunk-like stems rippling with muscle as she hit the balls of her feet and sparred in her corner. Knightley's lean, gangly frame was quite the startling contrast. Reminiscent of the strappy, belt-like top she'd dawned in King Arthur, Knightley's modest bosom swelled in the pale pink tube top mushrooming her chest. Her plump cheeks were cut by a matching string thong, devoured as she ducked through the ropes opposite Hilary.

Round 1:
Crutched by a lone win since 2013, Hilary Duff leapt out of the gates like a horse with nothing to lose. Spitting in the face of the throngs of bettors who'd doubted her, Duff stuck to the hip of the lanky Brit like glue, relentlessly pouring on the pain. A tight, trim frame built to take punishment, Hilary's body wouldn't be tested just yet as she absorbed nary a scratch. Surging harder with each gruff, throaty wail, Hilary made the best of her first real showcase in some time; seemingly sending a boisterous message to the CWF brass that they'd chosen the wrong former Champion. It's tough to adjudicate a fighter's fitness when they can't find their way off the ropes, as Keira spent the majority of the round walled up behind her forearms, her taut midsection being torn into by a voracious Duff.

A gutting combination to the pierced navel of Knightley saw her mouthpiece dribble to the canvas after a particularly weighty exchange, followed by a stream of drool as she hoarsely mewled for oxygen, her lungs nearly collapsed and beaten flat. Arms dropped by the boring of her belly, Duff decapitated Keira with a sharp left to the temple, sloshing the feeble Brit into the corner where she took a prompt seat on her derriere. After a quick spring back to her feet with the aid of the ropes, Knightley finished the round by eating a thumping straight right hand to the sternum; her guttural grunt drowning out the ding of the bell as she careened drunkenly into the boards. Throwing the crook of her armpit over the top rope and sagging against the rubber confines, the brunette's pooled bulbs fluttered as her chin hung low, gulping oxygen, her brain seemingly racing to answer the question; "why the hell did I agree to do this?!" Championship pedigree from Duff in this one; 10-8 in a landslide.

Round 2:
Picking up right where she left off, only with a tad less bite, Duff continued to wash over the hapless Brit early in Round 2. Duff stacked a trio of thumping shots to the chest on top of a vicious pair of rattling crosses to the temple. Her eyes rolling in their sockets and understandably scanning the horizon for a third headshot that was likely to put her down, Keira's vulnerable breasts took the full brunt of Hilary's tit-seeking uppercuts. Her modest A-cups providing little padding, Keira woundedly gurgled as she was slung into the ropes swaddling her sternum, doubling over at the waist and drifting weightedly away from the pursuit of Duff.

The depraved blonde seemed intent on making a meal of the brunette before a lively late-round surge finally saw Knightley squeeze in her first semblance of offense. Backed into a dangerous corner, Knightley was finally forced to hit her back heel and retaliate against the stalking blonde; slinging a sharp left hook into the jaw of Duff just as the blonde was coiling her own knee-knocker. Hilary was finally shown to be mortal as her thighs trembled, heels shuffling as she staggered a half-step back before stabilizing. Eyes fluttering with a hint of shock, Duff's unfettered pressure finally subsided for the last few minutes of the round, allowing Knightley to find a bit of an offensive groove as the two traded to a stand-still for the second half of the round. Duff still takes this one, 10-9.

Round 3:
Wiping the last round from her memory, Hilary once again turned back the clock with a staggering haymaker in the opening trade of the round. Rocking the Brit with a wild, reckless overhand that pierced and bludgeoned through her guard, Keira's chin snapped backwards with a coating mist of slobber and sweat, awkwardly crashing into the ropes at her back. Mauling the sagging brunette with a chesty display of dominance, Hilary spent ample time clinching and flattening the Brit's slender midsection with her own as opposed to trading leather. Backing Knightley against the bowing ropes to the point her slender spine was arched awkwardly over the top and planting one of her trunk-like stems between Keira's thighs, Duff bullied the blubbering Brit as if they were on a playground rather than in a boxing ring. Her lowered shoulder stapled to Keira's concaving chest, Hilary exhausted the brunette with constant body pressure; grinding and flattening Keira's abdomen until she was worked into a spent pant, then pulling away to create just enough space for a thumping shot to the navel. Keira could barely keep her eyes open as the round mercifully ended, collapsing in her corner to hands and knees as Hilary strode confidently toward hers. Another 10-8 round for Duff.

Round 4:
With no more than a handful of strikes to write home about to this point, Keira re-doubled her efforts in this round, finally damaging the blonde thanks to her advantageous reach. Careful to avoid expending energy trying to wear down Hilary's rock-hard midsection as she was already working on reserve energy tanks, Keira found and calibrated a range that Duff couldn't trade from. Duff's confident gaze finally began to droop as her rosy, flushed cheeks took some leathery punishment; the arrogant smirk fading as Keira slowly dragged her back into a dogfight. She'd have to do better than this to steal the fight after a no-show through three rounds, but at least she'd avoid a shutout. 10-9 Knightley.

Round 5:
Backed deep enough into a corner to finally showcase her true latent ability, Keira came alive with the 5th Round bell. With Hilary refusing to fade but finally starting to at least crack, Keira struck with torrid, unbridled precision. A flurry of left-handed body shots withered the blonde, the last of which snapped like the leathery pop of a catcher's mit against her reddening rib cage. Keira aggressively followed Duff into the ropes, a familiar position for her in the first few rounds, but now intent on making it the blonde's home. Curled into a standing fetal position, Hilary yipped and twisted away from overwhelming pressure from the brunette; her crunched, flexing midsection pierced by rangy, taut uppercuts and wide crosses. Twirling away with a hoarse, guttural grunt, Keira towered over the retreating blonde and whipped a hulking right overhand into Duff's lips. Hilary's bulbs stretched wide as she pinwheeled into the corner, slamming into the post before sagging to her haunches, dribbling a mouthful of blood down her chest. Startled, but beating the count at 5, Hilary stalled out the last few seconds before regrouping in her corner, the fight having been flipped completely on its head. 10-8 for Knightley.

Round 6:
In need of an intermission triple the length of the one she was afforded, Hilary's footing still was absent at the start of the round. Like a newborn calf learning to walk, the blonde's coy refusal to engage was a sign to Knightley that she was still badly wounded. Not in the fittest shape herself, Keira was careful to do her due diligence before pressing the wounded prey in front of her; alertly managing to dip past a few audacious, lumbering swings for the fences from Duff. With Hilary twisting like a top through a particularly cumbersome and sweeping left hand, Keira finally slid forward and countered with a stomach-churning left hand of her own. Hilary's taut midsection curled around Keira's gloved fist as she hoarsely wheezed, dribbling a stream of crimson down the Brit's forearm. Peeling the blonde off her leathery skewer, Keira snapped her lithe, gangly frame through a shovel of a right overhand, bludgeoning the side of Duff's skull and flooring her instantly. Folding over her arms and sliding flat on her belly, Duff's frame concussively pitched and sloshed with convulsions, gurgling as Keira exhaustedly threw her arms up in victory.

"And your winner, by KO in Round 6, KEIRA KNIGHTLEYYYYYY!!!!"