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30 September 2022 Gwyneth Paltrow vs Charlize Theron

Page history last edited by neon 1 month ago

OFFICIAL FCBA "SEPTEMBER TO REMEMBER" PPV 2022

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 30 September 2022 at 7:38 pm

Gwyneth Paltrow vs Charlize Theron

Results, Lookout: Story, Tractorpull

Gwyneth Paltrow

Age 49

Height 5’10”

8-13-0

Charlize Theron

Age 47

Height 5’9 1/2”

309-127-12

Titles Held

8 Unified Lightweight titles

7 Unified Welterweight titles

1 Unified Middleweight title

3 Maxim Lightweight titles

2 Paramount Lightweight titles

1 Reebox Lightweight titles

2 Reebox Welterweight titles

2 Paramount Welterweight titles

Mistress of the Body Saddle 1/26/08-1/11/15

Original member of the Hall OF Fame

Recognizes as the Greatest Of All Time (GOAT)

BEFORE

Gwyneth Paltrow is at the mic. “As I have said before, Theron is and always has been jealous of me. I’m a better actress, I’m prettier and I have my own business while she is still trying to make a living with minor roles in those awful Fast & Furious movies. We fought a couple years ago and she really got lucky and won that fight. I. Immediately demanded a rematch. I heard nothing. I tried and tried, but I was ignored. Lately, I decided to take an add in Tractorpull Magazine and in the online site, challenging Theron to a rematch. You have already heard the trouble that Alesha Tyler and McQueen had with that Tess Valmore. Well Valmore found out about the ad before it was published and she killed it. The way I found out was when I got refund for what I paid for the ad. I tried to call Valmore, but my calls were never accepted. Finally I sent word that I was going to hire some rough looking people to picket the Tractorpull headquarters demanding I get a fight with that bogus actress. I got an email from that bytch simply telling the date, time and place where Theron would fight me. Then I found out this was a beach fight. I have never fought on the beach while she is a veteran beach fighter. I trained hard for this fight and here I am and Theron is going to regret ignoring me and the list of fighters who want a piece of Valmore is growing and I am one.” Once again Charlize is nowhere to be seen, but she has been watching Paltrow on a TV in her dressing room. Charlize is not happy. She says “get the music ready” Kate: “I thought you didn’t want to music” Charlize: “I’m going to show her who the boss is”

THE FIGHT

Gwyneth enters the ring wearing a yellow bikini with black boots and gloves. Her hair and handing loosely around her shoulders. As Charlize comes down the sandy aisle the Dropkick Murphy’s “Blood: booms through the area. She is wearing her usual plain black hooded robe, hood pulled over her head. In the ring she removes the robe revealing the red bikini, red gloves and boots with her hair in a ponytail. Then, Theron does something she has never done before. She walks to the center of the ring and raises both hands to the cheers of her supporters It’s clear that Paltrow is angry at Theron’s entrance with the drama of the music. The glaring stares between the two promise a tough unusually violent fight between the two Academy Award winners

Round 1. At the bell, the two move to the center of the ring, but there is no touching of gloves instead Theron welcomes Paltrow with an overhand right to the face sending her back towards the ropes. Paltrow quickly recovers and stops Charlize of her way in with a left-right to her bra. They are back in the center of the ring, circling looking for an opening. Paltrow takes the offense with a left hook to Therons jaw and a right to her midsection. Charlize backs off and again circles looking for an opening. She gets what she is looking for when Gwyneth’s sweeping right cross sails over her head. She starts driving Gwyneth back to the ropes. Charlize lands a left to the body, right hook to the chin. A pair of straight punches crash into Paltrow’s bra. Another right hook to the chin. Paltrow is starting to sag into the ropes as the bell rings. Paltrow’s corner is busy getting their fighter ready for round two, In Theron’s corner Upton tells Charlize she did a good job, but she needs to step up the power and get Paltrow out of there.

Round 2. Charlize is quickly out of her corner. She’s looking for a quick KO.

As Paltrow closes Charlize preps that deadly right, but before she can launch it a right uppercut lands on her jaw. The crowd comes to its feet as Theron is staggered. Paltrow is quick to follow up with a left-right to the head and then a right hook to the tummy. Theron has one arm guarding her face and the other cross her stomach leaving her chest open. Paltrow’s eyes light up and she steps back and two overhand punches crash into Charlize’s bra bring a shout of pain from the Atomic Blonde. Theron goes into shell to ride out the round. Paltrow steps back to survey her victim giving Charlize precious seconds to recover somewhat. As Paltrow closes to finish the fight, Charlize come off the ropes with an over hand right to Paltrow’s head that stops the Goop owner. Charlize is off the ropes as the round ends, but Paltrow took the round by wide margin. In Theron’s corner. Upton is not happy she tells Charlize “the aim of this game is to hit your opponent more than she hits you. You lose this fight and I will turn Cassie Scerbo on you and let her punch you silly, no matter that she is seven inches shorter” Neve heard that comment “Stop it. You supposed to help and that ain’t it”

Round 3. This time it’s Paltrow out of her corner first and on the hunt. Charlize is using those famous legs to stay away from Gwyneth so she could recover a little more. Paltrows legs may not be as good as Therons, but they are as long and she not only is able to follow Theron, but close the gap. She manages a hard right to Theron forehead sending her back to the ropes, but as Gwyneth closes Charlize comes off the ropes with an overhand right to Paltrow face. Paltrow staggers back a couple steps and Charlize is off the ropes and pressing forward with left-right combinations to Paltrow’s midsection. Charlize wants to take Paltrows legs out of the fight. Charlize continues to work Gwyneth’s body. Paltrow manages to land a right cross to Charlizes jaw sending Theron back a few steps and manages to gains space. The two close exchanging punches to the head when a Paltrow right hook to the chin stops Charlize, but before Paltrow can take advantage another Theron overhand crashes into her face drawing some blood from her nose. Charlize starts to follow up as the round is called to an end. Both corners get busy getting their charges ready for the next round. In Theron’s corner Upton is telling Charlize “Well that was better but you are hitting her like Elodie Frege. That ain’t going to cut it. You supposed to have power. I haven’t seen it. Now is the time to show the crowd what the GOAT can do, Go after her with both guns so we can go home:

Round 4. This time it’s Theron on the hunt for the KO. She wants to go back to the body and take away what’s left of Paltrows legs and then go for the KO. As Charlize starts to close, she is surprised as Paltrow goes straight at her forcing her into a toe to toe punching exchange. Paltrow quickly gains the advantage with left and right crosses to Theron’s head as Charlize pounds way the the body. Theron is forced back and a Patron uppercut stuns the Golden Goddess.

Charlizes staggers back a couple steps and then Paltrow helps her to the ropes with one cross after another. Theron is in trouble. Her punches as becoming slower as Paltrow rings her up. Another over hand right from Paltrow dims Therons eyes. Paltrow starts to use Theron as a punching bag as the referee step in closed to watch Theron’s eye’s. Theron’s legs are holding her up. Paltrow is heaping on the punishment to the fading blonde. She punching Therons head one way than the other as the great blonde sags in the ropes. The referee is considering stopping the fight as the round ends. Paltrow’s corner is upbeat while in Theron’s corner the famous Nascar team goes to work with cold towels, back and leg massages and a broken ammonia capsule. Upton is beside herself “You’re blowing it. Now you need to stay away from her, I know you know how to do that. You’re a master of moving to recover so do it. Remember if you want to fight me again, you have to win. I don’t fight fading old ladies”

Neve looks at Kate “I heard that. You better remember what I told you”

Round 5. As the bell opens the round, Charlize is desperate. She needs time. She has to stay away from Paltrow. It’s time for those famous legs to do their job. Paltrow is slowly stalking the Goddess. She is looking for one big exchange to put Charlize out cold. Charlize is not cooperating. Paltrow is losing valuable time with her slow stalking as Charlize is staying out of punching range. The crowd is growing restless what was a good fight is turning into a dance. They are yelling at Theron to fight, encouraging Paltrow to finish the slightly smaller blonde. Charlize has used two minutes, but has regained somewhat of her ability, enough to go after Paltrow. Paltrow has slowed down, tired of chasing Charlize. Charlize goes on the attack, quickly closing and catching Paltrow with a left uppercut. She follows up with a left, right to the head and a right to the body. She has Paltrow retreating to the ropes, just where she wants her. Charlize goes into overdrive slashing away at Paltrows face. Now it’s Paltrow sagging in the ropes. The round ends as Charlize used too much time staying away. Once again Paltrow’s corner goes to work quickly In Theron’s corner, Upton is still on Charlize’s case. “That was better you managed to stay away and recover. Now is the time to go after her. I would appreciate you dropping the hammer on her. My husband is pitching tonight I want to get to the TV and watch him.

Round 6. Paltrow surprises Theron by charging out of her corner and catching Charlize when she is barely off her stool. An overhand right to the face rings up Charlize. A left-right torches her chest and a left hook the tummy takes some Theron breath away. Upton is horrified and is screaming at Charlize to charge, to get out of the corner. Charlize hears her and bends over and moves forward as quickly as her legs will take her. Theron’s head collides with Paltrow midsection and Paltrow is pushed back. Theron is out of the corner and legging it away from Paltrow’s reach. They are circling again looking for an opening. Paltrow sees what she is looking for, fakes a right to the face and then sinks a left into Theron’s stomach drawing a loud grunt from the Goddess. Paltrow sinks another into Theron’s stomach and Charlize staggers back trying to regain balance. Paltrow is on her with another of those overhand punches to the face. She drives Theron back into the ropes. Theron reaches to tie up Paltrow in a clinch but a left hook the jaw keeps the Goddess back on the ropes. Paltrow then catches Charlize with a left and right. Charlize looks to throw her right hand but eats another Paltrow uppercut. Charlize is hurt. She is desperately throwing wild punches as another Paltrow uppercut has her sagging back into the ropes. Paltrow is going to finish her opponent, but runs out of time as the round comes to an end. Paltrow’s corner is upbeat again. In Theron’s corner, The Nascar team is doing their best to get Theron ready for the next round. Upton is furious

“I told you to drop the hammer on her, not let the hammer be dropped on you. As is usual in this situation, she will expect you to stay away from her, but we can’t afford to do that now. You are losing this fight on the cards. You got all the tools you need. Jab her face and when her guard goes up to protect her face, go the her belly and gut her”

Round 7. Both are slow coming out of their corners. It’s four rounds to go and Charlize has been told in no uncertain terms she is losing. Charlize is not going to lose this fight. Paltrow knows she is ahead on the cards, but there are four rounds to go. The best thing is to take care of the Golden Goddess this round. Once in the center of the ring the two are back slugging, Once again there is no strategy. Just mindless slugging. It’s give and take one punch lands from Gwyneth and then one from Theron. Paltrow is concentrating on the body to kill the legs. Charlize is going upstairs trying to find that chin. Charlize lands a hard right to Paltrow right ear as a Paltrow right sinks into Charlize’ stomach. Charlize starts to double over and takes a right hook to side of her jaw. Charlize hits the ropes and as Paltrow follows up Charlize comes off the ropes with a slinging right cross that send Paltrow reeling. Charlize follows with right and left crosses. She has Paltrow on the ropes. Gwyneth’s eyes are glazing. Charlize steps back to end her agony with the right but the bell rings. Once again Paltrow’s corner are in a panic. In Theron’s corner Upton is lecturing her again “that was much better, but you should have finished her, Now she is having a little time to recover. She is going to try to stay away from you. Stay on her. It’s four rounds past time. Do it now, Knock her out. I don’t want excuses, I want results”

Round 8. At the bell Paltrow does a Theron. She moves parallel to the ropes seeking to stay away from Theron. Unfortunately she doesn’t have the fighting legs of a Theron. Charlize is slowly following waiting until Paltrow is where she wants her. Paltrow runs out of rope and is in a corner. Charlize pounces. A right to the jaw. Left to the stomach. Left-right to the chest. Paltrow has no punching room. Another Theron left slams into Paltrows solar plexus Paltrow wobbles back against the ring post. Charlize puts her right on Paltrows shoulder and spins her out of the corner. Then, that right glove drops to her hip and the right comes up with body twisting blockbuster. Charlize feels the punch land and turns and walks to her corner. She hasn’t so much as glanced at her opponent who is laying face down in the sand. Upton gives her a big hug and starts taking off her gloves when they hear the referee toll ten. The Nascar team picks up their belonging and join Theron leaving the ring. Charlize has still not glanced back at Paltrow, who is laying face down in the sand, She knows she has won by a knockout. That’s all she needs to know

AFTER. Charlize is at the press table. “You saw the fight. I don’t really have anything to add”

HBO Online: ‘When you hit Paltrow with that right in the eighth round. You didn’t bother to look at her. You left the ring without looking at her. She could have been seriously hurt. It’s like you didn’t care. Isn’t that a little disrespectful?’

Charlize: “I felt that punch land. I knew the fight was over. I knew she was out and that’s all I needed to know. I knew she wasn’t seriously hurt. I know I have some power but unless their head hit the sand really hard, they are not going to be seriously hurt.. Let me ask you, when Kate hit me with that right a couple months ago, I was out for minutes. I didn’t hear you worrying about me being badly hurt.

HBO Online: “No I wasn’t worried about you being seriously hurt. We all know that you are tough old broad”

Charlize: “If I were you I think I would consider rephrasing that comment or just maybe this “old broad” might let you feel that punch”

Smackey, Boxing World: I hear you aren’t considering retiring anytime soon, True?

Charlize: “Looks like you read your betrothed column so why did you ask. You don’t believe her?”

Blonde Magazine: “What’s your next fight?

As far as I know now it will be on the next PPV unless Tess manages to piss off another fighter and I have to fight mid month. If she does that one more time, I am going to let her fight the fight

Tess: “You being the tough old broad” I can most probably do better than you.

Char, call this over so we can party

Charlize: Thank you for coming. Party time