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29 October 2022 Ch Robyn Lawley vs Kate Upton

Page history last edited by neon 1 month ago

OFFICIAL FCBA "FIGHTS AND FRIGHTS" PPV 2022

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 29 October 2022 at 12:10 pm

Kate “The Queen” Upton v. Robyn “Godzilla” Lawley
For the FCBA welterweight championship
(results by Lookout, words by Sceej)

This collision has been building for months! Lawley on an incredible 15-0 run which has taken her from a barely .500 fighter to defending welterweight champion. And sporting public is all too aware that her last loss was to one Kate Upton in August of 2021. In fact, Kate the Great has two wins over the behemoth and is looking to make the trilogy a shutout and reclaim the welterweight belt.

Press Conference

At presser, Kate reminding Robyn that she left her on her back not once but twice, calling herself the “uncrowned champion”. “To tell the truth, I was surprised to get the call!” Kate tells the assembled press, “I figured she’d just go right on ducking me! Here’s the thing, boys, she may have that belt … for now … but she KNOWS she can’t beat me!”. Then addressing Robyn directly, “Want to avoid an embarrassment and some real pain, ‘Stretch’? Fake a broken hand and forfeit!”

Robyn on a slow burn but let’s Scrubby McGee do the talking. “Look … we’re tawkin’ about fightin’ a Hall of Famer here who is still in her prime! Dis Upton goil is what … a hunnerd and eight wins and toity losses? Now boys , math aint me strong point but dat’s over seventy poicent! Tall order but my goil will be ready!”

Everything edgy but civil … that is until Sceej assistant trainer Jenny McCarthy seizes mic and bellows, “She’s gonna knock that overrated skank out! Bet on that, boys!” Upton on her feet and moving toward Sceej side of dais … draws a shove from Lawley … and for ONCE FCBA security is in the right place and keeps things from boiling over. Jenny McCarthy taunting, “What? You feeling strong? Let her come!”

Mr. Sceej heard muttering, “Who the hell was assigned to keeping Jenny away from the mic? I want to talk to them!”

Fight Night

Crowd buzzing after great card of boxing but wanting to see the big girls throw hands! Sound system erupts with “Five Seconds of Summer” singing about “... Killer Queen” and here she comes … Kate “The Queen” Upton … resplendent in spangled white sports bra, boy shorts, boots and gloves, seconded by Cat Bell and Nicole Kidman. Kate waving to fans as she enters the ring, frowning as music shifts to Blue Oyster Cult’s “Godzilla”, and here comes the big girl herself - reigning welterweight champion Rockin’ Robyn Lawley - royal blue sports bra (with Australian flag on cups) and shorts, black gloves and boots, hair in pony tail,accompanied by Scrubby McGee and Big Bad Gena Lee Nolin. Jenny McCarthy - nominally assistant trainer - consigned to ringside seat from which she will scream useless advice (Scrubby McGee not wanting distractions during a big fight like this). Referee’s instructions have some ringsider’s reconsidering their wagers - Upton is a big strong girl but she looks like a waif next to the giantess.

Front Street in the front row (faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away from Jenny Mac as promoter does not need any fights outside the ring), Wiz to Pointy, “So whadda ya think, Big Man?”

Poindexter del Crunchy (slightly awe struck?), “Always felt it was purely a two woman competition for top welterweight - Righetti or Miss Upton - but dear heaven that lass is … massive!”

Wiz “Word is she weighed in at 177 pounds! I like Upton … a lot … but I am keeping my money in my pocket for this one! Not saying Lawley’s gonna win but, there’s an old expression in sports - you can’t teach size!”

Round 1: Girls out of corner, both in classic boxer/puncher stance. Upton with a little more bounce in legs, Lawley more flat footed. Upton up on toes, jabbing, then backing out. Lawley jabbing with, being patient. Both women feeling each other out. Both women a little reluctant to open up - wary of big girl hitting power. Robyn jabbing with Kate now, taking advantage of much longer reach to touch up the model. The Queen a little frustrated at being out jabbed , fakes jab and throws right hand lead which glances off Godzilla scalp but big girl blazing back with both hands - hard left hook to the jaw and right following which is partly blocked but bounces of blonde’s forehead. Kate backs off, frowning. Slow tentative first round goes narrowly to the champion based largely on that one effective combination.

Round 2: Cat Bell calling for “Press the pace … she’ll burn out!”. Kate ups the tempo, shifting, using footwork, circle left then abrupt heel turn back to the right. And always jabbing! She’s not letting the behemoth get her feet set and frustration begins to build. Robby throws a big lead right - Kate all bendy back avoids it and slings back with her own hard right to the jaw! She got all of it and puts a shimmy in the big girl’s knees! The Queen is looking to capitalize and end this thing before it really starts - left hook - left hook - left hook - jaw, body and back up to the jaw - and the cmap is hurt! Lawley reeling back into the ropes, loops arm around top rope to keep from going down … and here comes the Queen! Big Robyn in earmuff and from Lookout corner, Nichole Kidman calling for “... body … body …” Kate digs right to the midriff, then pops hips right and really buries that shovel hook into the liver. Lawley groans and lunges forward to clinch. Even hurt, the big girl’s strength and sheer bulk is enormous. Kate struggling furiously to free hands for clean punching but smothered - Lookout corner screaming for a clean break - but the champion hangs on and rides out the second - a big round for the challenger!

Round 3: Kate out hot but Robyn using long jab to parry. Not looking to mix it up, keeping foe at bay while she gets her legs back under her after a tough second round. Kate moving head side to side, slipping jab and able to fight her way in occasionally and bang to the body, but Lawley quick to clinch and referee having a job getting the big girl to let go. Slow grind of a round. Kate Upton takes it off sheer volume of punching.

Round 4: And the beast roars back! Big Bad Gena Lee in the corner hissing, “Show this little princess who’s boss!” into Aussie ear. Big girl out of the corner, trades jabs with the Queen … and then lands a long right hand lead to the jaw that startles the blond! Knocked the taste out of her mouth and follows up with thumping left right to ribs and now it is Upton looking to clinch … and finds herself ragdolled by the giantess’ sheer strength. There are FCBA boxers who are faster, who hit harder but very few can match the Aussie’s sheer strength. Robyn walks Kate to the ropes, wrestles hands free and bangs left right to the body, then brings left hook up to the head. Kate bouncing into the cables - savvy move to take some of the power off the shots but she’s pinned for the last minute of the round - a round that goes big for the champion.

Round 5 through 7: Incredible seesaw battle has fans on their feet almost continuously. Kate Upton comes back with a vengeance - using foot and hand speed to bedazzle the champion, Makes Lawley look ploddingly slow and dominate the fifth, but Lawley comes back to take the sixth convincingly - long reach to frustrated Upton and when the Queen lunges, she is rung up with a hard straight right hand that buckles knees. Seventh round and both women trying to impose their wills on stubborn opponent. Kate jabbing, occasional right hand lead and Robyn looking to hook to the body off the jab. Back and forth they go - no quarter! Toward the end of the seventh, Kate feints right and nails Robyn right on the chin with lead right. Robyn’s eyes go side and legs lock up - Kate with immediate follow up left hook to the temple and BIG GIRL DOWN! Champion stumbles back a half stp and fall right on her ass - she sits blinking, trying to focus, vaguely aware of the referee counting and it all slipping away when a gentle encouraging soft nurturing voice is suddenly clear to her above the tumult …

“GET UP, YOU BIG DUMMY!”

And Robyn dutifully pulls herself to her feet, takes the mandatory eight, and waits on the ropes - and here comes the pain! The Queen laying into the giant, battering midriff and cuffing shotes to head as Lawley earmuffs, tucks in elbows and just takes like a stoic. BIG seventh round for Kate Upton!

Round 8: Kate out to finish … and rebuffed by Robyn! First time the big girl has been tested this hard since she picked her career of the scrap heap and she answers - firing back with left right left combination and backs Upton up. Crowd on their feet! Now it is Upton … slashing with the left hand, gambles with an uppercut and stands the giantess straight up when she clips that chin, which puts a shimmy in Aussie’s knees. Blonde comes forward to finish and is driven back with a left right left flurry from Godzilla. Crowd once again on their feet as two alpha welterweight fight to a furious draw in the eighth.

Round 9: Scrubby McGee in Lawley’s ear, “She’s ahead - ya need to close da show!”, and the big girl nodding. Out for the ninth and the Queen looking operate behind that flicking jab. Pecking, goading, looking to draw the Aussie into a mistake. Robyn takes the bait and throws big right hand lead, Kate snakes neck back out of harms way and slings back with her own right. Right hand does not appear to land flush but drives the champion to the ropes! Here comes the Queen … and Lawley reverses and bulls her into corner!

Grand Wizard ringside, “Well, I’ll be damned!”

Poindexter Del Crunchy, “Playing possum!”

Lawley all over Upton! Left right to body, brings left hook up to head and rattles blonde. Kate looking to spin out but long arms corrals her and slings her back. Methodical bludgeoning attack - ribs, shoulder, occaionallyjaw - Godzilla is teeing off! Far from the crispest punching - this is pure weight of shot! Upton, getting sleepy or ropes, not one punch - its the sheer volume. Kate starts to sag to her left and the big girl blasts a right, downward trajectory and lands opponent on the canvas. Referee pulling Lawley off as Kate Upton is on one elbow. Ref picks up the count and at “six” the Queen tries to will herself up but legs not responding. It’s OVER! Winner by knockout in the ninth and STILL FCBA welterweight champion - Rockin’ Robyn Lawley!!!

Post fight

Post fight interview (interrupted twice by Jenny McCarthy demanding that champion “Walk that skank!”)

Robyn Lawley visibly scuffed up but beaming, “Not going to lie - I don’t like Upton but I do respect her. She’s had some nasty things to say about me - and others - but all credit to her as a fighter. She’s beaten me in the past - she’s the best I’ve ever faced, hands down!”

Reporter asks “Who’s next?”, drawing a snarl from Scrubby McGee, “Can she take a damn shower before we schedule da next damn defense?!!” but Lawley waives him off, “No sense playing games about it - next shot goes to Righetti if she wants it! Palciki’s been telling me since I won the belt ‘That belt makes you the champ but every girl who wants to call herself welterweight champion is gonna have to deal with Big Red.’ I know you’re game Amanda - have your people call my people and we’ll settle this.”